Casuals 3 - 1 Tanners

A sticky ground for the Tanners maybe but the manner of the defeat, particularly in the second half will be hard to swallow for the few Travelling Tanners who made the journey.

Jimmy Hill was there to oversee proceedings. "Did I tell you I managed a team once..." he no doubt declared as he does on his Sky TV show so he watched the game alone.

The first 20 minutes at least was all about Leatherhead. They seemed to be up for the fight to see us out. Twice they hit the woodwork but to no avail. Then Dave Stevens latched on to a through ball and tucked his chance away. His celebration had the touch of the Ali Chaaban's about it fuelling more rumours that he is leaving in the summer, but a conversation in the bar afterwards confirmed otherwise. 1-0 and the and to the half came to meek applause.

The game then seemed to encapsulate our season. First half full of promise while the second half was stale and lacked purpose. My son spared me most of the gruesome details as he insisted on playing with a slot machine in the bar. He had the right idea.

Casuals, although relegated, played with pride and passion and got their goals through set pieces and from sweeping moves from open play. Those were the days eh?

Then back to the club house for the award ceremony. Henders won the fans vote while Sargent got the players vote for the season. Well done to you both.

Travelling Tanners

So, this is it. The last game of the season and a chance to put behind us a tricky past few months. They're relegated... we're midtable... should be a belter!

Directions

Tolworth Roundabout on the A3, go round the roundabout and head as if you were going to Guildford. Literally 20 yards after leaving the roundabout you will see a slip road off to left called Hook Rise South. Go down there until on the left you see Queen Mary Close. The ground is at the bottom of this road.

End Of Season Party

Just a quick announcement that the End of Season Party will take place after the Corinthian Casuals game. The first few hours will be dedicated to Tim's speech with a few awards chucked in, such as the coveted Player of the Season and Most Abusive Committee Member Towards A Referees' Assistant, then on to the party.

Allowing for the players to get changed and travel from Tolworth you should aim to be propping up the bar at around 7pm.

Tanners 2 - 2 Cray

Leatherhead showed some glimpses of their pre-Torquay form today as they battled out a well deserved draw.

The opening goal came on 30 minutes when that routine was tried again. Sargent, pulling all the strings in the middle of the park, was audacious in his attempt. First he swung at it with his right only to tee it up for a left foot volley straight into the roof of the net. Lesser players would have hit it first time.

Cray responded 10 minutes either side of the half time break scoring from headed set pieces. Disappointing considering neither was as intricate as our own set piece.

Cray were built around one player. Their number 4 was up for a fight and spent most of the second half wagging his finger at opposing players and officials alike. It was like someone had put a Cray shirt on a 1985 Dennis Taylor, albeit a taller version that could swear like a trooper.

It was therefore sweet that he was probably playing Julien on side when a Lyndval through ball was perfectly ran onto and slotted home. Justice and yet another game where Cray have failed to beat us.

Cray Are Coming

Leatherhead and Cray at the end of the season got together like peas in a pod. There was that season where they beat us to the play-offs on goal difference. Who could forget that time they tried to cry off after getting a pounding and nearly refused to play on after the ref pulled up lame. Classic stuff.

Now tomorrow will see both sides "battling" it out for a mid table place... it is what dreams are made of!

That and you can vote for the player of the season. I thought my 20 minutes during the pre-season friendly set the bar pretty high so I shall be interested in how the votes are cast.

Kick off at 3pm... see you there!

Travelling Tanners

Its late I know but what with dodgy estate agents (I'll probably spend much of my next column boring you with that one!) and long days in Dublin (I didn't even get to see a pint of the black stuff) you'll have to make to with it now. Let's face it though, you should know the way as it was one of the scenes of one of the greatest FA Cup games ever played... well apart from Bromley perhaps.

I thought Chatham would be there or there abouts this season but they find themselves comfortably safe at the wrong end of the table. Surely a chance to end the season on some for of high...

Directions

Exit the M2 at junction 3, and follow directions for Chatham & Town Centre. You will then pass a Homebase & Toys 'R' Us on the left hand side. Continue straight over the roundabout and then there is a split in the road, where you bear right for Chatham this is Maidstone Road. Follow this, continuing straight over the cross roads and you will see a petrol station on the left. Bournville Road is opposite the petrol station. Ground entrance is first left.

Tanners 0 - 1 Ks

It was the perfect day for a derby. The sun was out and so were the fans for one of our biggest league gates of the season. All we needed was that hostile derby atmosphere and presence on the pitch...

Leatherhead's first of two shots on target came midway through the first half. Sargent who continues to work hard on the right wing produced a good cross into Julien who mistimed his shot and it bobbled tamely towards the 'keeper.

Kingstonian scored moments later. A lofted ball to the far post which Borg came out to collect but it was too far and it found a Kingstonian head who guided it back over and into the open goal. Borg looked startled, like a dog after you have blown on its face.

The second half was an altogether tame affair. I spent most of the half sitting down leaning back. Look, I have a cool T-shirt and I know it. I bought it on the beach at Copacabana the day of The Rolling Stones' free concert and it seemed the best place to show it off.

Our second shot on target came in the dying seconds. We had nearly benefited from an own goal thanks to a sliced clearance which missed the cross bar by inches and we tried that routine. Sargent's strike was one of the cleanest he has managed this season but it went straight at the diving keeper.

Sittingbourne 1 - 1 Tanners

A red hot day, a bone hard pitch. Few supporters - either home or travelling. A soulless ground in a container park. A game which both teams had nothing to gain from except a win bonus. Was bound to be a classic. Well no...

Within 5 minutes we were 1-0 down after defensive hesitation let a Brickies striker shoot from the edge of the box. He didn't connect that well but it bobbled past a despairing Borg.

From then on it was the Tanners all the way, pressing hard for the equaliser. Playing some great passing football at times, sloppy mistakes other times.

We had to wait until well into the second half for the equaliser. Sarge's precision pass picked out Thommo's run with perfection, and the in-form front man coolly lifted it over the keeper and into the empty net.

The Tanners had loads of chances to clinch a victory, Thommo, Benno and especially Joe Sheerin wasting very convertible chances. The Brickies also had one or two chances as well, Holmesy making one brilliant headed clearance from under his own bar.

We should have won, but perhaps the only winner was the futility of the fixture.

Man of the match - Stewart Holmes (playing centre back) - by an absolute mile the best player on the park.

Congratulations - Viva Las Vegas!!!

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Date - Thursday 5th April 2007

Groom's Last Name - Wilkinson

Bride's Last Name - Kerr

Travelling Tanners

Only a few games remain of this long hard season and another trip to Sittingbourne's ground awaits. No need for a pub guide this time as my choice was so dodgy I wouldn't have parked my clapped out Escort infront of it! There is a pub in a nice town nearby... Tunbridge Wells I think!

Directions
Take the A249 towards Sittingbourne. Bear left at the first slip road and take the A2 towards Sittingbourne Town Centre.
Follow the A2 into the one way system and follow directions to Canterbury (NOT the town centre) until you come to a roundabout (outside the station). Take the third exit, St Michael's Road, pass the fire station on your left and turn left into Crown Quay Lane (at the first set of traffic lights).
Go under the railway bridge and up to a roundabout where you turn right into Eurolink Way. This road curves left at the end into Castle Road, continue along this road (DO NOT go up Dolphin Road) until you come to a small roundabout, take the second exit, Stadium Way, and at the end of this road turn right into Church Road and left into the football club car park through the large gates. Go under the barrier and down the slope to the lower car park.

Buy.at/thetanners

You have seen the fliers now here is the flashy banner...



...look at it! In all of its income generating glory! Give it a go and shop in the future!

Tanners 2 - 3 Tooting

OK we lost... to a side with 10 men... but it was a real barnstormer of a game. Leatherhead gave their all but fell short to a team that had some of the sharpest strikers I have seen this season.

Tooting were worth their goals but it doesn't help wen you misjudge the flight of the ball so it bounces over your head to let them in for the first. Julien Thompson wasn't going to let that go unanswered and waltzed through their back line to powerfully slot home our reply.

Second half and we hoped our back line would start ship-shape and Bristol fashion but again too much space was offered for the cross and in went a free header.

Now I didn't like the ref today. I thought he ran round like a little lapdog yapping away with his whistle when ever asked by the Tooting players who knew how to scream in pain when in close proximity to a Tanner. In fact they played him like a banjo... albeit a slightly out of tune one as he gave us a penalty and issued a red card for bringing down MCS in the box.

Sargent stepped up and blasted the ball into the roof of the net. I admired his candor as he was facing the tallest 'keeper in the league and my heart would have preferred the bottom corner.

Just then you could hear Kevin Keagan declare "there is only one winner here...and its Leatherhead..." and some close chances from Julien and Beero it wouldn't go our way. Tooting on the other hand found enough room for a clever turn and a volley and it beat Borg into the bottom corner.

"*&%$! &*&^! ****!" shouted the happy Tooting fans and they go on with another game unbeaten. Credit, though, to the Tanners who put in one of the best battling performances of the season.

Tooting & Mitcham Are Coming

Tomorrow night sees Tooting & Mitcham arrive and a chance to avenge the 3-1 thrashing they dished out at their place not so long ago. Lets face it, they are on fire and enjoying a 15 game unbeaten run but football is a funny game...

...and lets face it is just a game and if you ever needed a reminder of that it was todays news. A minutes silence will be held in memory of Stewart Vaughn before the game.