For the 100-150 supporters that made the trip to Uxbridge, nothing says sorry than offering discounted travel to 15-20 for the battle for seventh place.
To be fair, twelve games ago Hartley Wintney occupied the coveted fifth spot and I thought they would be the side to beat on the last day. It's not to be for either side, this year.
Kick off at 3pm. Good luck fellas.
I didn't go to this game. Today I celebrate 21 years of marriage and I got to this milestone by picking my battles. Giving up a Bank Holiday to watch a game that was, sadly, a dead rubber was not the hill to die on.
Those that did attend, saw an entertaining half with a clinical late performance from Ruben who was afforded a rare start. This was not before Binfield took the lead and Lukas pulled off a Le Tissier-esque volley after flicking the ball up in the box.
Then Ruben scored on 59, 89 and 93 minutes. All three goals were scored just to the right of the goal and if there was a perfect hat-trick award for scoring through the 'keepers legs, near post and rounding him and rolling it into an open net, he would nailed this rare accolade.
Onto Saturday and the last game of the season… the trip to Hartley Wintney.
Book your partner a surprise trip away this May Bank Holiday – anywhere but Uxbridge, Ascot or Hanwell – as we are now free from play-off duties. While it is still mathematically possible, this defeat signals the end of our distant hopes of making it. Even with a win, it would have been tough given that everyone else won.
If drums were goals, South Park would have been 3-1 up at the start of the game. The local kids arrived with the kind of drum that wouldn't be out of place beating out Beethoven's Fifth Symphony. While a large travelling contingent set up South Park's largest home crowd of the season, the game started with dead-rubber atmosphere.
Leatherhead gave the travelling support something to cheer about first. An attack down the middle fed in George Hedly, who sent in a low ball into the middle for Tyler to have a free shot into the bottom corner and score his first goal. 1-0.
We could have doubled our lead when a free kick on the edge of the box found George unmarked on the edge of the six-yard box, but he could only turn it into the 'keeper's path. A goal could have finished off the home side, but at 1-0 they were a threat.
The threat got worse when Cameron Black saw red for a rash tackle. With both feet off the ground, and while only one foot made contact, he was not in control so a fair decision. Leatherhead tucked into a back three, which allowed space down the wings to cross and one found a player unmarked to head home. 1-1.
The second half and Leatherhead regrouped and applied themselves well to get a winner and we nearly got it when Lukas fired in a powerful shot and the 'keeper palmed it onto the post. South Park then charged down the other end, sent in a similar cross, and another header made it 1-2. In the dying minutes, South Park broke free and lobbed Harvey as he came out to narrow the angle. 1-3.
Onto Monday and the visit of Binfield to round off the festive weekend of football.
For 89 minutes, Leatherhead held our guests and seemed to be heading for penalties, but a swift and decisive move finished off our hopes of reaching the final in the dying minutes.
Walton & Hersham turned up in confident mood and stroked the ball around from side to side along their back four, for the opening 15 minutes. This pendulum motion must have hypnotised our players, as a sudden long ball caught us sleeping and it created a one-on-one chance that was expertly finished. 0-1.
Those who feared it would get worse did not have to wait long to see us draw level. We won a free kick on the edge of the box and Fitzgerald slotted a powerful and low shot through the wall and into the side of the net. 1-1.
At this point Leatherhead really grew in confidence and looked to score another. However, our guests proved that, yet again, they could on the break and scored another to make it 1-2. Momentum remained on our side, and we scored just three minutes later from one of the many dangerous corners we took this match. 2-2 and half time.
Walton & Hersham started the second half like they meant business and I feared we would be overrun, but somehow we weathered the storm and created our own problems for them to solve. As time ticked down, we began to consider which end would host the penalties, but in the 89th minute, another swift move was finished off from a tight angle to make it 2-3. We responded with one last Kingstonian-esque attack, but it was snuffed out, and our overcommitted attack could not respond to the breakaway, allowing them to notch up a flattering fourth.
So, it's back to concentrating on the league then. The wrong Villa did all the scoring last night as Hanwell could only draw 0-0 with Ascot, which hands a point to both which makes them just that bit harder to catch in the last three games…
After seeing the Uxbridge post-match interview, I arrived early at The Grove to ensure I got my free drink. Fearing it would be limited to one drink per supporter, I took an array of disguises (glasses, glasses with moustache, different tops) in order to capitalise, but to my disappointment no drink materialised. As if the last week's 10-0 scoreline wasn't sobering enough; now we had to face third-placed Hanworth Villa.
We needn't have worried as a very different Leatherhead came out. Hanworth Villa are a big and physical side, and while last week we ran away scared, this week we fought to retain the ball. And won! We created some good chances, the best falling to Tyler who smashed the cross bar and headed down at the 'keeper's feet to force a tricky save.
Our opening goal came from our own half, where we won the ball and strode up the pitch. Akinnibi's optimistic cross was not properly dealt with and the ball fell to Matt Everitt who, with some work to do, nipped past the defender and slotted it into the bottom right corner in stoppage time. 1-0 and half-time.
The second half saw Leatherhead come out on top again. Perhaps fewer chances but we were well in control. Our goal came when a shot from just inside the area was intercepted by a defender but only to put it into the path of Akinnibi who made no mistake. 2-0.
Hanworth Villa rallied and started applying real pressure. Harvey was forced into a fine save when a header seemed destined for the top left corner, but his scrap-book-photo save kept it out. The pressure eventually told, and a fluffed clearance set up a powerful strike that flew in on 89 minutes. No problem, the games was about to end. Wasn't it?
The referee indicated that there was going to be six minutes of added time. Punishment enough, but the referee obviously did not like the sudden spate of Uxbridge-esque cramp so added on even more. On and one the game went as Villa applied pressure. The clock entered 99 minutes, and I feared a Y2K situation should we enter 100 and the club's microwaves would stop working. Luckily we are spared the IT consultancy bill as the referee blew the whistle on 99.21 to give us the three points. Meanwhile every other bloody team around us tasted victory, meaning our job is even harder… but still possible.
Onto South Park then… but not before the visit of Walton & Hersham in the Surrey Senior Cup on Tuesday.
Before delving into this week's fixture, I thought I would reflect on the sad news of the passing of Dave Johnston; news that had a profound effect on me, as it was only two weeks we stood in the bar at halftime and briefly exchanged views on what an entertaining first 45 minutes it was. I will miss Dave and our pre-match chats. If there is a better way to spend an hour before a game than learning of the trials on tribulations of a ground-hop across the second and third tiers of Romanian football, I haven't found it yet. Looking at comments on various platforms, the enjoyment of these exchanges are a common theme and the fact so many people enjoyed spending time with him and exchanging tales, not just on football but other topics, is a measure of the man. A real loss to the Leatherhead family.
Onto the more mundane topic of football and today we welcome third place, Hanworth Villa. A side we beat, only last month, thanks to a Adam Pearce goal. We will need a repeat of this heroics (and less of last week's disaster) to keep any hopes of having football to watch in early May, alive.
Kick off at 3pm. See you there.
If Uxbridge were accused of over celebrating 10 days ago, today they were guilty of over-scoring as they took full advantage of a completely gutless display from a well-backed Leatherhead side.
I can't describe many of these goals. Firstly, I am too disappointed and secondly, I missed half of them. Two goals spring to mind though. Their first goal came after Uxbridge's No 4 misplaced a pass and we gained possession. Rather than build anything we played an lazy ball forward that was intercepted and they went on to score for their possession. Their fourth goal came from our corner and a good ball in needed someone brave to get a head on it. Bravery wasn't on the table today and he pulled his head away and Uxbridge marched up the pitch and score.
No head injuries for Uxbridge today. That would need us to get near enough to touch them; not a bit of it as our hosts cruised around in second gear.
Into the bar at half time and some light relief as we watched the Grand National. Oh, how I wished someone would come out onto the pitch and set out a white tent around the stricken Leatherhead team and put us out of our misery as it was about to get a lot worse. By the time I emerged from the bar, walked past Sonny Wheeler who was enjoying a kebab, and got to the half way line it was 5-0.
We did dispatch a few shots – one shot even hit the bar – but in reality Uxbridge were not coming out to tread water and went on to score another five – five! - goals. You can point to not having our first choice 'keeper in goal, but if that is really the case you should be working harder to protect him, but I saw precious little of that.
Miracles do happen, but with our impressive goal difference affectively halved it is going to take a lot to make the play-offs now…