Dorking Wanderers 2 - 0 Tanners

In a match of David and Goliath, The Goliath of Leatherhead was slayed by the Dorking David; armed only with a sling, a free ground and a squad heavily subsidised by Denbies.

I have to say, I felt like an old man entering the ground.  Reminiscing of the natural banked terraces that could easily cope with a large crowd.  This new modern stadium seemed to lack this (the camber of the area behind the far goal seemed to ebb away, reducing the opportunity to view the game for example)  and would surely fail to live up to the 2,500 capacity it boasts.   A ten minute delay was needed for a crowd 1,000 shy of this.

Leatherhead did not really threaten.  We had a shot on goal that looked certain to beat the 'keeper that went wide but other than that it was either tame or direct at the 'keeper.  The first half was dominated by a ref that loved the attention and dished out yellow cards for not much really

Dorking hardly set the world alight but were clinical when needed.  Sole latching onto to a through ball in the first half and a clinical finish in the second.

No New Year's Day game for us; we are home to Potters Bar on Saturday...

Travelling Tanners

Finally Leatherhead get to play this rearranged fixture from March, and a chance to finally see Dorking's publicly funded new stadium.

Dorking started the season as the pacesetters but have dropped away in recent weeks.

Kick off at 3pm.  In the £1-an-hour car park by 11am.  See you there.

Tanners 1 - 0 Carshalton

A last gasp winner to warm the hearts of the Leatherhead fans who are scratching their heads over what has gone wrong this Christmas.  Normally Santa brings you presents, but this year the fat bugger appears to have made off with D'Sean and £30,000 of FA Cup winnings.

The first half was difficult to watch.  Firstly, we changed ends and played towards the Leisure Centre end which means you miss some of the game when going to the queue for the tea bar.  Also, Leatherhead continued to play some overly ambitious long diagonal balls that were cut out with ease.

Second half and we managed to string some nice moves together and looked a lot more threatening.  When Gallagher struck the bar and the follow-up blasted over it looked like our it wasn't going to be our day (Carshalton also hit the woodwork) but we found a way to break the deadlock.

The sub made a massive difference.  Rob Cullen came on and just added the composure required in these situations.  Then in the last minute of normal time a ball was swung into the box that saw Sean, Ibrrahim and a defender converge on the ball.  Some thought Sean had headed it home, I thought it was an own goal, but tit was Ibrahim with the decisive touch.

On to Saturday, and the much awaited trip to Dorking Wanderers and their flash new ground...

Carshalton are coming...

Shhh... don't tell the club they've forgotten to rearrange this fixture for 10am. This Boxing Day game kicks off at the optimum time of 3pm at should see a big crowd come to The Grove.

If you can have a bogey team after just a couple of games it would be Carshalton. A clear handball on the line went unpunished in the league fixture, while a stunning comeback saw us knocked out in a bizarre penalty shootout.

With a 2-0 defeat in the game before Christmas, Leatherhead will say their bad form is behind them. Oh yes it is... oh no it isn't...

Carshalton are coming...

Shhh... don't tell the club they've forgotten to rearrange this fixture for 10am. This Boxing Day game kicks off at the optimum time of 3pm at should see a big crowd come to The Grove.

If you can have a bogey team after just a couple of games it would be Carshalton. A clear handball on the line went unpunished in the league fixture, while a stunning comeback saw us knocked out in a bizarre penalty shootout.

With a 2-0 defeat in the game before Christmas, Leatherhead will say their bad form is behind them. Oh yes it is... oh no it isn't...

Folkestone Invicta 2 - 0 Tanners

I missed this game as I made a rare trip watching Southampton away to Huddersfield.  A team that have been revitalised thanks to their new manager, "The Klopp of the Alps".  Meanwhile our very own Mansell of Hastings is struggling to maintain similar form.

Disappointing cup exits gave way to scintillating form, which gave way to crushing defeats, then green shoots of recovery then 2-0 defeats on the road to a side we were showing ambitions of overtaking.

The damage in this game, to make matter worse, was Ian Draycott.  An ex-Leatherhead player who found the net twice, which somehow feels like his goal tally for us in the 2013/14 season.

On to Boxing Day and the arrival of Bubble & Squeak, unwanted relatives and Carshalton Athletic...

Travelling Tanners

Time to avenge probably the worst Leatherhead performance in about 20 years when we travel to Folkestone tomorrow.  The 5-1 thrashing was the icing on a pretty crappy cake, having been just knocked out of the FA Cup the game before.

All eyes will also be on Harlow, following the comments from Spencer football genius Knight.  If Harlow lose (again) I can only imagine it is because he has become distracted with news linking him with the Man United job.

Back to us though.  Directions can be found here.  Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas!

Harlow 2 - 2 Tanners

This Christmas spare a thought for those less fortunate than yourself.

Take poor Spencer Knight for example, the Harlow Town Assistant Manager. 

He thinks we "are probably ones of the worst teams he has seen in 20 years of non-league football."

https://www.youtube.com/embed/wzZ31KgEmiA

Let's look at that statement more closely. Harlow are in the relegation zone, failed to beat us at home and have 7 points less than us. I suggest he sees a worse team than Leatherhead play twice a week every week.

Poor Spencer had a very average football career. He never played league football. His little team only attracted 167 souls yesterday and only average 236.  So this year spare a thought for poor Tiny Spencer and his little club and send him a message of goodwill.

Oh, by the way, Ibrahim and Shaun scored the goals for us today. Shaun now has 9 league goals for the season. Just one behind Jason Prior (who would have got Merstham promoted) and 5 behind the leader Jamie Cureton.   A fine start to the game but Harlow forced their way back into the game, making it 2-2.

Today's draw leaves us rooted to lower mid-table. We travel to Folkestone on Saturday in an attempt to avenge a horrible FA Trophy performance.  If you are desperate to avoid Christmas shopping, or countless relatives arriving from Brazil, you know where to go.

Merstham 0 - 2 Tanners

The outstanding performance of the evening went to Mick Sullivan for insightful interviews with Nikki Bull and Hayden Bird.

The award for most stupid idea went to Merstham for switching the game and keeping the reason secret. I can only think that Hayden Bird is going to see Julian Clary in Snow White at the London Palladium on Wednesday night. Anyway Merstham were suitably punished with a crowd of 138 and a 2-0 defeat. Oh yes they were.

Nikki Bull threw in a new suggestion for the recent poor run during his post match interview. He has almost moved on from blaming the budget (although he stated that was why Charlie was not staying for another month). Apparently we haven't had a training facility for 8 weeks and the players are having to train in Richard Bligh's back garden and get changed in his kitchen. Though I understand Richard is a charming host and makes very nice mince pies.

By all accounts it was a much better performance although, like most others, I wasn't there as I had a prior engagement. Goals came from Shaun and Ibrahim.

The last word goes to Hayden Bird who claimed Merstham would be top of the league is Jason Prior played for them. Now that's a better joke than you will find in any Christmas Cracker. 

Travelling Tanners

Merstham clearly have no interest in European football and rearrange Wednesday's game for tonight.  You could argue we have no interest either as we agreed to it.

Leatherhead will hope to avoid a rather embarrassing mirror image of their November by losing four games in a row after winning four.  Something to reflect on...

Kick off at 7.45.  Directions can be found here.  Good luck fellas!

Tanners 0 - 1 Brightlingsea Regent

After three straight defeats, that is the smile well and truly wiped of Nikki Bull's face.  With Leatherhead winning on aggregate 9-1 last season we could perhaps be forgiven for thinking this game was going to be straight forward and, dare I say it, entertaining but the game seemed boring even before kick off.

Something was missing today.  The pre-match music was subdued off the pitch and the likes of Amoo seemed quieter on it.  The visitors played their part by wasting time throughout and had the ref' well and truly sold on their defenders' falling over in the box move.

We huffed and puffed until we were stunned by a Van Basten-esque strike from a tight angle that found the side netting early in the second half.  With few supporters making the trip the goal was greeted by an eerie silence.  The goal was in fact completely missed by one supporter who commented in the car park on the way out that "at least it was a point".  I had to put him right... I had suffered 90 minutes of this crap and I was taking anyone down with me.

Off to Harlow on Saturday.  A chance to sing jingle bells and imagine what fun it would be to win away... or anywhere for that matter!

Brightlingsea Regent

Brightlingsea Regent make the long trip from their sleepy seaside town to face a Leatherhead side they've yet to beat.  

Our last encounter was a strange affair where Jerry got a hat trick by taking a penalty... imagine scoring from a penalty!

Kick off at 3pm. See you there!

Lewis 1 - 0 Tanners

After all the excitement and hope of 4 straight wins come 2 defeats of our own making.

We lost to Corinthian Casuals through the indiscipline of our players arguing about penalty takers, and the indiscipline of our supporters who would up the opposition. Casuals lost tamely at Wingate today with no opposition supporters to motivate them.

In dreadful conditions today at Lewes, we gave the points away when Zak was beaten to a header at the far post by Will Seager. 

Where do we go from here? Is it down to the lake I fear?

Tanners 1 - 2 Corinthian-Casuals

Leatherhead's winning streak was brought to an end by a Corinthian-Casual side that could flit from being streetwise to phsychotic with gay abandon.

The first half was a proper game of football.  End to end stuff with Leatherhead probably carving out more chances.  Charlie gave their 'keeper a warning sign when his long range shot had him scrambling across goal to only hit the side netting.  Moments later Amoo danced past a defender to slot him home via the near post.  A few weeks ago those chances would have gone out for a throw-in.

The ref played his part.  With the look of a P.E. teacher he trotted around given silly little fouls in order for him to find an excuse to run somewhere and then run back again,  As a supporter of the losing it is needless to say he was completely biased towards the visitors and it was from a very dubious foul Casuals launched the final attack of the game that made it 1-1.

The second half was a very different kettle of fish where the tone changed largely due to the ref.  He awarded a very dubious penalty... well... it wasn't a penalty at all.  The defender clearly won the ball and the visitors went ballistic, so ballistic the ref at one point turned to the crowd looking for help.  I didn't know where to put myself so suddenly found an email on my phone to attend to.  Travis stepped up and with Corinthian spirit struck it directly at the 'keeper.  Sporting.

From there on we were bullied by a side in full crazy mode as the game descended into a Sunday league style street fight.  On saving the penalty their no 10 was quick to offer a fight with any supporter who would care to listen.  He was back when they scored a tap in from a slip in defence with his excessive goading earning him a yellow card despite Casuals trying to get him subbed off.  We continued to attack and after a header went wide our attention was drawn to a Casuals player who started to violently threaten the assistant.  It took a red card and all his team mates to get him to leave the pitch under the supervision of two stewards.  The cause of the unrest was allegedly due to a comment about the player's grandfather... keep your Werther's Originals comments to yourself in future, officials!

Charlie was sent off too a few minutes later for two clumsy challenges and thus allowed the ref to tick the "evened it up" box in the unofficial law book.

So, players subbed off instead of being sent off; players sent off for attacking an official; I said something happened "more quicker"... utter chaos.  Hopefully we can all re-group and site down and ask what our mothers' would think of this all and try again Saturday with a trip to Lewes...

Corinthian-Casuals are coming

Storm Diana may have the final say on this one.  Persistent rain could well see this one being called off.  Hopefully a delay will not dampen the spirit in the Leatherhead team which sees us in fine form. 

Four wins all season looked unlikely a month ago but we have strung and impressive string of results against some of the best teams in the league.  Keep an eye out for possible pitch inspections etc...

Kick off at 7.45.  See you there.

Tonbridge Angels 0 - 2 Tanners

Two sides who have had a remarkable turnaround in form met at the Longmead Stadium on a murky day.

Tonbridge have scored just 1 goal in 4 league games and couldn't score today for all the tea in China. In contrast we are on fire and have scored 11 in 4 league games.

Tonbridge is a very pleasant place to visit:

- Not too far to drive
- Ample parking
- Great burgers with imaginative names
- Civilised supporters
- A neat ground without a ludicrous numbers of stewards (ahem)
- And not a single high viz photographer in sight to spoil the view

Often that is where the hospitality ends but today the home side were subdued. We started well enough and were awarded a penalty when Amoo was bought down by the 'keeper. He converted it himself low into the corner. D'Sean added a 2nd just before half time with an accurate strike from the edge of the box.

The 2nd half saw a barn door placed behind our goal but despite countless attempts Tonbridge failed to hit it. Dan Gallagher was our man of the match today for his tireless tackling and distribution and he helped to ensure that we held on for a 2-0 win.

We now sit in 12th place and can start to look around us. There are no teams to fear in the league this season. Least of all Dorking.

Travelling Tanners

After a string of home games, Leatherhead hit the road and travel to Tonbridge Angels who sit in second place.

Despite our run of form, this will be a tough game and I predict plenty of nervous trips to the Tea Bar.

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas!

Tanners 3 - 0 Burgess Hill Town

Whilst Sammy Moore's Dad's Army of Old Pros are starting to groan and creak on a remote marshland, Nikki Bull has been carefully building a young side full of enthusiastic players with their best years ahead of them.

This was our 3rd win on the bounce, and the team that could scarcely score a goal a couple of weeks ago are now brimming with confidence and have scored 9 goals in 3 games.

Jeremiah Amoo opened the scoring on 19' with a powerful shot from the edge of the box. The rest of the first half was closely fought and we were happy to go in to the break with a narrow lead.

We had the better of the chances in the 2nd half but it wasn't until 80' that Sean put us 2-0 up with a well taken header. A Burgess Hill sub who had only been on 2 minutes earned a straight red for a flying 2 footed challenge and Burgess Hill were finished. Jeremiah made it 3-0 whilst defenders stood around looking at each other in a feeble attempt to play offside.

There were great scenes of celebration around the ground at the final whistle but not just because of the result. It was because news had spread that the photographers and cameramen finally had enough shots of the crowd and would be moving on.

Tanners can travel to Tonbridge Angels on Saturday to see if we will maintain our progress.

Burgess Hill Town are coming

Nikki Bull broke all records after our stunning win 4-1 over Enfield Town on Saturday when he sneaked his first smile into a post match interview. 

There were joyous scenes as the players left the pitch and no one will slope off if we win tonight. We have the chance to leapfrog 4 places into 14th leaving us just 6 points off the play-offs with a game in hand.

First we have to find a chink in the armour of Burgess Hill Town who beat the yellow men of Merstham so convincingly at the weekend.

Tanners 4 (four) - 1 Enfield Town

A truly outstanding attacking display in the first half marked this down as the performance of the season.

The Enfield Town players must have awarded themselves the three points before they got into their cars this morning. They were strangely lacklustre and looked annoyed that we had forced them to travel 60 miles around the M25. By the time they realised we were much better than the league table suggests it was too late. They were 3-0 down and there was only 17 minutes on the clock.

Travis had opened the scoring with a cool finish at the near post. The pace and width of Travis and Jeremiah were a handful all game and Enfield had no answer. Charlie fired in from a corner for the 2nd, and Sean got the third with a powerful header. Fetcham Grove was buzzing to the sound of an Enfield drum as went in at half time 3-0.

The second half was a more even affair but we were still creating chances. Shaun Okojie has had a frustrating season at times but he was outstanding today, full of energy, and winning every header. A stunning finish at a tight angle gave him his 2nd we were 4-0 up. An uncharacteristic error gave Enfield a consolation goal. 

Passengers flying B.A. to China were delighted to find that 17 cameras around Fetcham Grove were streaming the game live on the inflight entertainment. The cabin crew waived away complaints from one particularly awkward passenger that most of the coverage was of the supporters behind the goal.

Our fifth and final home league game in a row sees the visit of Burgess Hill Town on Wednesday. They had a good win today over the ever bitter Merstham so we can expect a tough game.