Tanners 1 - 2 Raynes Park Vale

A lively game ends in defeat as the pre-season run campaign continues.

The game started so well as Alex continued his scoring run.  With a carbon-copy of a Cruyff turn he left two players for dead on the goalline, made room for himself in  the box before placing the ball past the 'keeper for a spectacular goal and resulting celebration.

Leatherhead looked in real control until a Raynes Park Vale player dropped his shoulder and jinked past two Leatherhead defenders before picking his spot just inside the box.  1-1 at halftime.

Leatherhead made some changes and looked exciting.  We struck the crossbar with such ferocity it is probably still shaking.

Then some nonsense that appears to be a theme in our friendlies as a large group of players decided to push each other around a bit.  Leatherhead failed to regain composure and a sucker punch allowed the visitors to tap in the winning goal.

Disappointing but we go again away to Corinthian.  No pre-season would be complete without a trip there, it seems.

Tanners 3 - 1 Chalfont St Peter

Another pre-season friendly against opposition one league below but a different outcome from the last run out.

The game looked over in the opening minutes when Alex forged ahead with two poacher's goals.  Twice we got the ball to him in the box and twice he put the ball away smartly.  The first saw a flipping celebration while the second was more subdued.

Nikki Bull may be concerned with the manner in which we conceded; a free header at the back post.  Especially with the rumours that Jerry will not be re-signing this season...

Second half and we looked quite composed.  The third goal from some patient and unselfish build-up play, until they found Briggs who calmly found his spot.

There was nothing calm about the last few minutes when Lema was caught by a nasty tackle.  He offered some words of advice to the provider of this tackle and it erupted into a full 20-man brawl.

Unlike last week, the ref saw sense and didn't issue any reds and saw the last two minutes out.  Quickly.

More action on Tuesday, when we welcome Raynes Park Vale...

Tanners 0 - 1 Three Bridges

Last night did not go to plan.  There was some initial excitement as a new player  turned up at 6pm with boots and a reasonably impressive CV looking for a new team.  Nikki threw him straight upfront and while he showed glimpses that he could be our passport to success he failed to hit the back of the net.

Three Bridges are a league below but were going well before lockdown and arrived with a great deal of determination.  Indeed, when Misha made a clumsy tackle they were surrounding the ref.  It was probably a harsh red in the heat of the season so it was surprising to see the ref show a red during a friendly. 

The ref was nobody's friend by the end of the game.  He failed to give Three Bridges an almost-certain penalty, received ironic cheers when he booked them for diving and was generally inconsistent throughout.

Leatherhead did mount some pressure in the second half but Three Bridges used their extra man to counter attack and get the only goal of the game.  Grealish continues to impress.

Chalfont St Peter come to the Grove on Saturday...

Dorking Wanderers 4 - 0 Tanners

The day did not start well.  Sure, seeing a superfluous apostrophe on the sign to their VIP entrance sign was mildly amusing but hardly put Leatherhead 1-0 up.  It also became clear that the away fans would be segregated and stuck down just one end; I would have been grateful for it being the shaded end had I not splashed out £5 on a bottle of sun lotion on the way in.  

There was also the early hope Dorking would consider this game an inconvenience and field a weakened side... but then Marc White stepped out in a jewel encrusted T-shirt and denim skinny jean shorts.  No man dresses like that with the expectation of losing.

Despite not having the two AFC Wimbledon players, it was Leatherhead that had the early chance.  After just a couple of minutes, a ball was driven in from the left and found a player unmarked on the far post but he fluffed his lines.  It didn't take Dorking long to recover from this early "shock" and they soon started piling on the pressure.

Most of their most promising attacks came down the right and they were finding space in the box to shoot at will.  A low drive opened their scoring.  Shortly after a low shot, direct from a freekick, could only be palmed into the path of not one but two unmarked Dorking players to double their lead.  The final action for the half came from a corner, which was headed back across goal and coolly finished.

I missed the fourth goal, on account of me being the bar but came out to see a Grealish-esque player causing some excitement amongst the travelling supporters.  He curled a few shots over the bar to bring the game to a disappointing close.  Another loss to Dorking but we go again on Tuesday, with the visit of Three Bridges.

Travelling Tanners

Tomorrow Leatherhead make the trip to Dorking Wanderers to play for the Advertiser Trophy.  

In the interview with Nikki Bull, Mick Sullivan did not fancy our chances much after seeing us play Guildford City.  While the gap in playing staff will no doubt be telling on the day, that may not be truly representative as a number of trialists have been and gone since then plus the securing of some AFC Wimbledon loan players.

Tickets are limited (with a hint of crowd segregation?), so make sure you buy before you travel.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Tanners 2 - 1 Guildford City

I was at this game, I promise but somehow I missed the late flurry or goals despite the game petering out as I left in the dying minutes.

In the first half, Leatherhead had much of the game but lacked the cutting edge to get an opening goal.  Guildford's keeper must be feeling sore after having a few point blank range shots fired directly at his torso.

Second half and we looked more fluid but only got our goal courtesy of a penalty; a soft one at that.  Very reminiscent of Sterling's penalty against Denmark and those who don't expect them to be given in a semi final of a major tournament would be going crazy at it being awarded in a pre-season friendly.  The penalty was calmly put away.

Then it became 2-0... then 2-1... sorry.

Saturday we travel to Dorking Wanderers for the annual battle for the Advertiser Trophy...

Guildford City are coming...

I am dipping my toe back into The Lip! after a few months away.  This will be my first friendly and one of significance for me.

As a born and bred Guildfordian I have had a soft spot for our visitors, even making a few away journeys for some of their crucial relegation games of the past.  Such battles would appear to be a thing of the past as I understand new owners have big ambitions for the Spectrum based side.

Kick off at 7.45.  See you there!

Leatherhead 0 - 1 Felixstowe & Walton

One, twice, three times a lady.  Chertsey, Redhill and now Felixstow & Walton; all lower placed opposition and all have dispatched us from a cup competition this season.

The game started well for Leatherhead.  Our hosts were either tired from the journey or giving us too much respect as we piled on pressure but lacked the finishing touch.

The Lip! won't hear of a bad word said about Jerry, as yet again he gave his all for 87 minutes but when will this "up-front" experiment end?  I hear in interviews he worries defences but the only thing that hasn't been too troubled since we started playing him there is the back of the net.  Notably, midway through the first half with the ball hanging tantalisingly on the line, he headed over from point blank range.

With the first half seemingly going our way, I also found it strange Nikki would feel impassioned enough to engage with an official in a manner to get himself sent off.  He watched from the sidelines in the first half and from the bar in the second.

Out for the second half and Felixstow shook off their stage fright and worked us out.  Stop Charlie Hester-Cook from receiving the ball and put two men on Jerry from goal kicks.  Simple.

The game was still a bit of a stalemate until they appeared to get a slice of luck.  A deflected cross sailed up into the air and over Zaki like a ponytailless David Seamon.

On came Great Evans to play upfront with Jerry which did not really change the attacking dynamic and we petered out to another cup exit.

That is that then and until we hear otherwise it could well be all we see from Leatherhead this season...

Felixstow & Walton are coming!

Football returns to the Grove next Tuesday in the shape of the FA Trophy.  I haven't been a big fan of this competition over the years but if I have learned anything over the past few weeks, Leatherhead needs supporters to turn up!

Working in compliance I thought interpreting Government guidance would be easy, but it hasn't been.  The size of scotch egg needed to serve alcohol is one thing but at one point it looked unlikely the club could even offer a cup of tea... not ideal as Tuesday will no doubt be a double-socker.

Tickets are available via the new ticketing system.  Kick off at 7.45.  See you there!

Tanners 2 - 3 Redhill

Leatherhead crash out to a Redhill side placed near the foot of the table, two divisions below them on the last night of football we will see for a while.

While Redhill have been conceding goals in their league, they can score them too with 16 already this season.  Their goal scoring touch did not desert them last night as they pounced on a low cross into the box and fired a powerful shot into the bottom right and corner.

Jerry should be awarded Freedom of the Town and nothing he can do can convince me otherwise.  Playing upfront again, he showed footwork no centre back should possess when surrounded by three defenders. 

He also won a penalty, with a ball mid flight a defender cynically tripped him hoping the ref would miss the off the ball incident.  He didn't and it was promptly awarded for Great Evans to score confidently.

Into the second half and just when I felt (and ruddy tweeted) the game was heading to penalties it sprang into life.

First of all Redhill pounced - I forget the details - only for Leatherhead to get another penalty.  Hester-Cook darted into the box and was clearly tripped.  The ref took an absolute age after seemingly performing a no foul hand gesture but made the right decision and awarded it.  Great Evans, again, made no mistake.

Not soon after Redhill won a freekick on the edge of the box and sent in a beautiful cross which was met by an unmarked player, giving our deputy 'keeper no chance.

I write these reports pretending I know something about football tactics but it should be abundantly clear I do not.  I can only assume, then, the decision to throw another central defender up front with Jerry was an attempt to confuse Redhill into which direction they were playing and lure them into scoring an own goal as his presence created nothing of merit.

If it is any consolation, this is a cup that is unlikely to be concluded this season but Redhill cared not when the whistle blew.  They wildly celebrated a well deserved win as we trudged off dreaming of what could have been last year.

That's all folks until further notice...

Redhill are coming

There can be no excuses to miss this one.  The visit of Redhill sees us play in the last game for the foreseeable future in a competition we could (and last year perhaps should have) win.

Redhill ply their trade in the Combined Counties League Premier Division and sit in 18th place with a goal difference of -13... 

Kick off at 7.45.  See you there!

Tanners 3 - 1 Potters Bar

2020/21 may prove to be first season in which we remain unbeaten in the FA Trophy. Even in 1978 we lost in the final.

Despite any confidentiality clauses that may have been signed, it soon became clear that Jerry was going to be playing up front again. Chloe confirmed that we would always rather play him at the back but that we had no other options at the moment. Chloe probably wasn't aware that Peter Crouch was available and had been spotted in the town that very afternoon.

Potters Bar never really got going and seemed as disinterested in the FA Trophy as some of our less resilient supporters who would rather brave the winds and go for a blow on Worthing pier.

Joe Leslie is proving to be our Olivier Award winner this season and completed a fine hat trick. Let's hope that Woking don't find out how well he is playing, although they will be allowed to play when we won't so I guess it won't matter.

There is no apparent reason why we can't play Redhill in the Surrey Senior Cup on Tuesday but that could be it until December 5th at least. Our non-elite status, which has benefited us so far by allowing us to attend games, is likely to prevent us from playing.

Potters Bar are coming

Tomorrow sees the arrival of Potters Bar in the FA Trophy, on what is forecast to be a blustery day all round.

I am not a big fan of this competition, but I appreciate that with an early FA Cup exit such competitions allow us to potentially build up some much needed income.

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas.

Corithinian-Casuals 0 - 0 Tanners

The highlight of the day, for me, was the Toby Carvery I sat down to before the game.  A plate, piled so high with meaty finery, I didn't know whether to eat it or climb it.

As the game began, I started to take stock of the situation.  A bogey ground and difficult conditions did not, in itself, make for a great game for Leatherhead.  Then it became apparent Jerry was playing upfront.  This was either an act of desperation or it was Jerry's birthday.  A penny for Great Evans's thoughts though...

The advanced Jerry did cause some problems and nearly set up a goal in the opening minutes.  Overall though, it was a fairly tame and evenly balanced game.

In the second half, the home side came closest to scoring.  A desperate goalline clearance prevented a certain goal but fell to a Casuals player who fired it back in to force Zak into a fine save.

While we did warm the glove of the 'keeper once, we did very little to really threaten the goal.  In the dying minutes Joe Leslie, who has been a joy to watch over the last few games, infuriated the travelling support by blasting over with two wild left foot shots from distance.

0-0 it ended in front of a 600 crowd (where did all these Corinthian-Casuals supporters come from!?) and now we prepare for the complete waste of time that is the FA Trophy.

Brightlingsea 3 - 0 Tanners

Tanners fell foul to new-manager syndrome last night, losing 3-0 to Brighlingsea and almost doubled their point tally in doing so.

The damage was done in the first half and Leatherhead trudged into the dressing room 3-0 and feeling every yard of the 200 mile round trip.

The game is closer to home on Saturday with a trip to the bogey ground that is Corinthian-Casuals...

Tanners 2 - 0 Folkestone

Leatherhead took all three points against a much-fancied team despite the sudden absence of two players due to COVID.

It could not have started any better.  A long ball from the back from Zak was touched into the path of Crossley who took the ball into stride and hit a low powerful shot into the bottom right after just 14 seconds.  

He could have doubled the lead a few minutes later but opted to side foot the ball rather than a header, which may have been easier to direct on goal.

Leatherhead defender really well.  While Folkestone got more into the game after 20 minutes, we always looked comfortable throughout the first half.

It was a rather miserable day for Sammy Moore.  He did pull off a handful of stunning passes, that we remember well, but other than that his contributions were mainly falling over, telling other people what to do and watching helplessly while Andrew Briggs bent a freekick over his head and into the goal. 

Folkestone did have a brief spell of pressure.  The brunt of this pressure was felt by Will Seager's face as he put his body on the line to prevent a near certain goal at point blank range.

An impressive display, but impressive enough to tempt me to make the trip to Brightlingsea?  We will see...

Folkestone are coming

A rare mid-week off from football, but time to focus on the game and the visitors tomorrow.

Football is a fickle beast.  Lead Leatherhead to the Second Round of the FA Cup and the final of the Surrey Senior, you'd expect to get a hero's welcome.  Leave suddenly, with broken 5-year-plan promises, having made agreements before said final and you can kiss that welcome goodbye...

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Enfield Town 1 - 0 Tanners

Having shipped 9 goals in their last two games, Enfields set up proved to be solid and difficult for us to break down, with the exception of a Will Salmon header in the first half I cannot remember another close effort. 

Enfield, on the other hand, have a potent striker at their disposal in the form of Bricknell.  He was good enough to be on Billericay's high-flying payroll and he is good enough now.  He took his chance and it was enough to grab all three points.

No mid-week game to look forward but we welcome back the dodgy knees and five year plan of Sammy Moore when he returns to the Grove with Folkestone on Saturday...

Travelling Tanners

Today Leatherhead travel to Enfield town for this league cup fixture. It is ticket in advance and the last time I looked they were only 20 tickets so make sure you buy before you travel.

Leatherhead are playing not just with an elephant in the room, it is more than that. The elephant is the room.  Hopefully they will focus on the game today.

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas.

Tanners 4 - 3 Worthing

Up until tonight, there were students on campus that were having more shots than Leatherhead so it was inconceivable that we could go on and score four goals... but somehow we did in an absolute thriller.

Leatherhead, again, looked bright in their passing game.  While there is always a danger this peters out but Dan Rowe collected the ball in the box and cleverly found the bottom right corner.

Worthing struck back with a spectacular freekick awarded by a ref who would go on to award any flop or yelp coming from the south coast side; and there were plenty of those.

1-1 at half time and Worthing came out with a real purpose.  It looked inevitable that a rout would soon follow until Joe Leslie pulled off a small piece of magic.  A lofted ball sent him chasing and as it arrived, perfectly, to him on the edge of the box there was already a lot to do.  

Under pressure and with the angle on the goal not getting any wider he brought it down and quickly sent it into the bottom right. He has looked like our most threatening player over the last two games so fitting he would finally get his reward.

The game then appeared to swing firmly in the favour of the visitors.  First there was a free header to make it 202.  The 'keeper sensed the game had swung and made a point of directing his celebration to the home fans.  Mistake.

Soon it was 2-3 with a penalty.  It looked to me like our defender was initially fouled.  As he stumbled to regain his footing the Worthing player turned into him and took a flop.  Zak guessed the right way but it was too high and powerful.

At 3-2 I decided the game was far enough beyond our reach that I chose the moment to inform my friends of a new free source of firewood that would see me through winter.  An anecdote so dull it lulled the defence into a coma and we mounted our counter-attack.

First of all Stefan Brown swivelled and fired past the 'keeper before a dramatic attack saw the ball strike the post only for it to fall to the head of Crossley Lema's head who sent it into the back of the net.

Wild celebrations and prolonged scenes of appreciation to a side that has really started to play smart attacking football.  A change of this formation, with returning players, could really be a Great mistake...