Horsham 0 - 1 Tanners

Oh.  Oh my.

Only a win would do today as we look to achieve the "Great Escape" and thanks to some committed defending we managed it.

Our goal was stunning as it was simple.  Horsham were clearly confident about getting the win so decided to play party games; the first being musical statues.  Just as Max drove in a low ball, the music stopped and they froze.  

For most players the ball would be described as chest height but for Cameron it was at knee level; perfect to caress into the bottom corner.

Leatherhead then were put under increasing amounts of pressure as Horsham tried to respond which only got worse when McAuley saw a second yellow on the stroke of half time.  At the time I thought the ref had got it badly wrong when his attempt at a tackle didn't make contact with the Horsham player but I understand it was down to him controlling the ball with his hand to prevent a breakaway.

The second half was all about digging in and sticking to the task.  Leatherhead had some luck but we deserved it.  Jacob Adams made some incredible saves.  Cameron and Mitchel threw themselves in front of every attempt they could. 

Eventually we saw out the 45 minutes and moved into injury-time... it was almost like starting the half again as the referee added on minute after minute.  We watched in disbelief as everytime we cleared the ball, Horsham were allowed to reclaim and recycle the ball without the referee so much as looking at his watch.  

With the clocks going forward at 1am there was a risk of 60 minutes being instantly added but eventually the ref found his whistle and sent players and travelling supporters into wild celebrations.

Four points behind Cray... guess who rocks up the Grove on Saturday..?

Travelling Tanners

The A24 Derby is upon us as we play our old friends Horsham in their new home for only the second time.

We lost 3-1 at our place earlier in the season where we caught them just as they turned a corner following a string of defeats in the league (although doing very well, thankyou, in the FA Cup).

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Travelling Tanners

For some this will be the second trip to Enfield - well at least the second trip South Mims on the M25 - as this game was called off late in the day.

We're going on the back of two wins but our hosts will pose a very different problem to solve.

Kick off at 7.45. Good luck fellas.

Tanners 3 - 1 East Thurrock

Home success at last as Leatherhead snatched a win in the last few minutes where it looked like it was heading for a draw or worse.

The first thing that was apparent was that a number of East Thurrock yoof had taken advantage of the free coach travel and, armed with cans of their dads' beer, decided to stand with the home fans behind the goal.

The cherubs fell a little silent when Gough pounced on a ball in the box and headed past the stranded 'keeper.  Leatherhead looked the brighter side and went into halftime feeling confident.

The confidence should have been rewarded with a second goal when Jermaine was through one on one with the 'keeper but missed his chance to make it comfortable.

Inevitably this lifted East Thurrock who forced a good save before slotting home an equaliser after a spell of pressure.  Suddenly the sugar rush from the fizzy pop kicked in and the East Thurrock boys were full of it.

Leatherhead were nervous as the game entered the final minutes and it looked like a meaningless draw was fast approaching.  Suddenly Oyeboya (I think) found himself on the right hand edge of the box with only the 'keeper for company.  

The 'keeper tried to make a tackle but missed and brought our player down.  The ref' went for the default option of waving it away but amazingly the referee assistant (who clearly isn't in the officials' "Let's stitch up Leatherhead" WhatsApp group) waved his flag.  The referee then gave the penalty.  Begrudgingly.

Louie Paget stepped up and scored via the post to wild celebrations but with five minutes to go the supporters knew it wasn't over just yet.

Then the lively Oyeboya, in stoppage time, made a good run and latched onto a ball in front of goal and slid it under the 'keeper.  3-1 and surely we had all three points.  I realised, being the grown up, it would be wrong to gloat in front of the visiting kids.  Instead I adopted a dignified celebration to not make them feel any worse than they already did.  Well.  I should have done those things...

Three points and while the league is still not pretty reading it looks a lot better than it could have done had we lost as we now plan for a difficult trip to Enfield on Tuesday...

East Thurrock are coming

We've been here before. A big must-win home game where we turn up full of hope but leave with our tails between our legs.  Let's hope today is different.

East Thurrock arrive at the Grove, just one place above us and maintained their gap thanks to a fine win last weekend.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Corinthian-Casuals 1 - 2 Tanners

A vital three points on the road as we beat Corinthian-Casuals 2-1.  Not for the first time we got the winner in the dying minutes, but where we had a period of exciting "will they, won't they?" in those games this was more "they probably won't".

Leatherhead were on the whole the better side and deserved the three points but when the Casuals opened the scoring it looked like it was going to be another of those days.

As the first half drew to a close we needed something to lift us and it came in the unlikely shape of Mitchell Gough who launched into a flying header, the kind of which still has Trevor Brooking heralded by West Ham.

The second half and our hosts were really quite happy with a point and we were probably too nervous to try and change their minds.  The game seemed certain for a draw until we got a corner in the last minute of the game.  Corinthian-Casuals dealt with the first ball in but could not prevent the second ball sailing onto the head of Cameron Black, who deftly guided it into the bottom corner.

Two crucial goals scored by centre-backs which sets us up nicely for the massive game on Saturday...

Travelling Tanners

For what feels like the 10th time this season we travel to Tolworth in search of a must needed win.  Today we face Corinthian-Casuals as we attempt to climb off the bottom of the table.

It won't be easy as they sit mid-table and have had two credible draws against Lewes and Bognor Regis in the league while holding Carshalton to a 0-0 in the Surrey Senior Cup.

Kick off at 3pm.  You should know the directions by now.  Good luck fellas.

Tanners 0 - 1 Lewes

A result as tough to take as it was to watch in parts; spoilt mainly by a ref who managed to award a soft penalty and book four of our players while sparing any punishment for any of the visitors.

Leatherhead started the game well with Jermaine spearheading our attack.  Then midway through the first half he had a one one one with the keeper but scuffed his shot and pulled a hamstring at the same time.  He limped off with our chances of getting a win from the game.

The ref then saw to it to remove any hope of a draw in the second half when he saw two hands rest on a striker's back and when he flopped down awarded the penalty.

Our players became frustrated with this.  None more so than the also impressive Archie Burnett who was booked for a mere coming together but did not see anything go the other way when one of his runs were brought to an abrupt and cynical end.

Corinthian-Casuals on Saturday...

Lewes are coming

Lewes come to the Grove as we search for our first win of the season.  The reverse fixture was a baptism of fire for one of the previous management teams.  A good start soon fell apart when we had a player sent off and the resulting free kick took a wicked deflection to make 2-0... and from there it got worse.

A new striker arrives at The Grove to try and make the same impact that Merstham's two new signings did for them on Saturday.

Kick off at 7.45.  See you there!

Merstham 2 - 1 Tanners

Before the game I was commended for my optimism.  Should I express similar sentiments after this result I would expect to be taken away in a straight jacket.  Neither the performance nor the result give us any real hope of pulling off the Great Escape this season.

It all started so well.  A blind backpass was pounced on by Jermaine who calmly slotted it past the 'keeper on just 15 minutes.  That was the height of Leatherhead excitement as the attacking threat of our new players - dare I call the Christos Palace!? - dried up.

By the half hour mark it was Merstham that looked the most likely to score and after a string of corners to build the pressure they equalised.  Leatherhead defence stood off enough to allow a simple tap in.

Second half and Leatherhead needed a response that on the whole did not come.  We had a couple of flashes but there was no real death or glory mentality to really take the game to the hosts.

If our defence was indifferent to allow the first goal it was indecisive to allow the second.  A high ball was allowed to bounce up over the head of the defender and the Merstham striker ran in behind and placed his free shot on goal into the corner.

The game finished 2-1 and left me to go home and check my passport is up to date for trips to Guernsey.

Travelling Tanners

I have just realised I have neglected to write up Saturday's match report.  We lost.  2-0.

Our push for survival was never going to truly rest in February.  That was a sticker of a month.  It was always, sadly, going to be about our last 11 games and could we win 7 of them.... and that starts tomorrow with the trip to Merstham.

Merstham, a trip of mixed results of ever there was one.  Hopefully the club can march to the beat of the same drum and get a result...

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Hornchurch are coming

Fifth place Hornchurch come to the Grove today, in what will be a tough game.

The away fixture was a one-that-got-away fixture as we took an early lead, failed to double the lead moments later and then conceded a very late equaliser (while almost losing it with a save in the last few seconds).

The sun is out; bar open; kick off at 3pm.  See you there! 

Travelling Tanners

A long trip to face a high flying Enfield Town is in store for Leatherhead today.  

Sitting in third place with the second highest number of goals will mean all of the newly formed resilience we have seen will be fully tested today.  Hopefully they will put up a better fight than some of my fence panelling.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  Good luck fellas!

Tanners 2 - 2 Bognor Regis

It looked like a well earned point, until you see the video evidence and you realise a terrible decision costs us yet again...

Leatherhead again looked competitive but this time with a more attacking edge.  The first half wasn't exactly all out attack but we had two penalty shouts waved away (standard) and the ball struck the bar after forcing their 'keeper into a fine save.

Second half is where it all really happened.  Lamont opened the scoring past an injured injured 'keeper, whose damaged hand was not strong enough to keep his long range out.  Bognor's choice to play an injured 'keeper was bold, but when you haven't scored at home for nearly 6 hours it probably didn't seem like such a gamble at the time.

1-0 and we were starting to drop deeper to defend and were faced with a string of opportunities to clear a ball but failed.  1-1.

Then the controversy.  At the time, from 100 yards away it looked a bizarre decision and the video evidence doesn't make much more sense either.

A ball into the box was collected by our 'keeper... he got their first and turns his back to protect himself from the challenging player who, if anything, makes a late tackle (a yellow card?).  The striker then hauls our 'keeper to the floor (a further yellow card or straight red?) and the ref runs backwards while looking at all of this to make up his mind... penalty to Bognor and one yellow to their player.

2-1 it looked like we were robbed of anything until the ref did see and obvious push in the box.  Up stepped German, who had missed a one on one earlier, to grab an equaliser.  

Jermain was brought down in  the box minutes later but the ref's incompetence didn't stretch to awarding the same team two penalties.  Archie Burnett had the ball in the back of the net but the assistant decided, unlike his incompetent opposite number at the other end, to assist and rule it out for offside.

Frustrating but on we go with a visit from Lewes on Tuesday...

Bognor Regis Town are coming

Tuesday night saw a battling performance against Margate rewarded with a point.  It could have been more when a defender "unintentionally" batted the ball away to safety with his hand in the second half.

Tomorrow we place similarly placed opposition in Bognor Regis.  A side that narrowly beat us 3-2 earlier in the season after we took an early lead.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Margate are coming

Saturday saw a battling performance away at Cheshunt which resulted in a 1-0 loss.  Our last 15 minutes could have been worth more but we were thwarted by an excellent 'keeper.  That said, our new 'keeper pulled off a fine doble save in the first half.

Tonight we continue with our run of tough games with the visit of 9th placed Margate.  A side that we lost 4-2 away earlier in the season.  Some loan recalls and injuries means a couple of new signings will be on show tonight...

Kick off at 7.45.  See you there!

Travelling Tanners

A long trip today against another well placed side in Cheshunt.

I thought we had turned a corner when we faced them at home.  We had just won 2-0 and the then goal hero struck early… we went on to be worn down for a 2-1 loss.

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas!

Tanners 0 - 0 Bishop's Stortford

After the euphoria of the away win it was down to the mucky business of grinding out any kind of result at home.  If we only played away, we would be in a comfortable 13th place but for some reason the green green grass of the Grove has not proved to be a happy hunting ground.

There were three moments that summed this game up for me.  A headed clearance off our line in the first half; along with a dive and a struck post in the second.  On another day that would be two conceded goals and a penalty kick awarded against us.  Not today.

Another key moment came in the second half when their no 14, already booked for not retreating 10 yards for a freekick, decided he wanted to pull one of our players down by the neck.  A brief mele followed and the ref dished out several yellow cards; one of which was to the instigator who now saw red.

The visitors are a tough side and despite facing 10 men for the second time in a row our main objective was to compete and keep them at bay.

So, after the heavy defeat at Worthing we have gone on to collect 5 points from three games and suddenly Cheshunt just seems a few miles closer...

Bishop Stortford are coming?

Have I been to Bishop Stortford? That doesn't matter now as the third place team are coming to The Grove.

Our home record is a disaster but the away win and new look team may give them a surprise.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Haringey 2 - 3 Tanners

A fantastic day on the road all round for Leatherhead as we get a vital win on the road.

The day started early for me, in a pub that was stated as being in the top 6 pubs in Kings Cross but certainly wasn't.  I had somehow persuaded Guy to join me and we discussed our chances.  

After a couple of Madris we headed to Wood Green where Guy insisted we buy a "walking beer"... a can of Polish beer for the journey.  I could feel my membership to the Institute of Chartered Accountants of England & Wales being revoked with every step.

Onto the game and a bright start was soon replaced by Haringey pressure.  Suddenly a cross was met by a player who cleverly adjusted his run to beat his marker to head it home for 1-0 to the hosts.

The half wore on and as the pressure grew so did the need for me to stare at my feet and there between the gaps in the decking I spotted the wink of Winston Churchill.  A not-so-crisp £5 note lay there and with no obvious tools I employed child labour and the hand of Chloe to grab it.  It was that "we will never surrender" spirit that soon filtered out onto the pitch.

The first miracle was that we were awarded a penalty kick.  A clear mistimed tackle was spotted and up stepped Bohui to send the 'keeper the wrong way.  We should have had a penalty moments later when not one but two players were pulled back when trying to run onto a through ball... but ref had deployed the only one penalty per team law.

Going in 1-1 would have been something to celebrate, so when Archie Burnett pounced on a loose ball in the box and smashed it home from close range to make it 2-1 it caused pints of Guinness to be splattered everywhere.

Second half and normal service resumed when the ref saw a ball strike the hand and awarded the 12th penalty kick against us.  It struck the post but snuck in.

The game did swing back in our favour when one of their players saw his second yellow but Haringey had nothing to lose and still looked to win the game.  At this point the ref went a little bit rogue and failed to see an obvious foul on the edge of the box.  This coincided with my third pint of Guinness, so for the resulting tarade I issued I am truly sorry.

We wanted to win it too as opportunities like this won't come often and it came when a saved shot fell to McGlashan who slotted it under the 'keeper on 89 minutes. Wild scenes followed and well throughout the final few minutes until the handsome ref blew for full time.

Off we marched to Finsbury Park for a couple of Neck Oils to finish off a night that ended with a missed train and a lost bag.

Quite the match to set us up for a friendly Tuesday before another big game on Saturday...