Tanners 2 - 0 Potters Bar

Not the Great Escape we talked about in the bar while drinking half price beer before the game.  Leatherhead  did everything they could in this division but a result in Hertfordshire proved decisive.

With three games of importance happening elsewhere it was difficult to focus on the game being played out in front of you but an early award of a penalty helped focus the mind.  

Mitchall Gough stepped up to take it, in place of the suspended Paget, but it was saved.  Max Worsfold was alive to the situation and placed the rebound into the bottom right corner.  It is amazing how easy it is to follow up a penalty without a defender encroaching by about 5 yards.

Leatherhead went on to dominate the first half, carving out a couple of great chances and even striking the bar, in a half of football that usually results in disappointment in the second half... but not today.

As the second half started news was filtering that results were favourable in our league it was just Kings Langley that were proving to the game too far, still holding onto their early 1-0 against Salisbury. 

Hopes of us retaining the vital win were boosted when we scored from a corner.  The Potters Bar 'keeper got a little over excited and attempted to save a shot that was going wide; taking the ball over the line for a corner.  In the ball came and Cameron Black, with the extra spring in the step that comes with being voted The Lip's Player of the Season, rose to head it home.

Time wore on and suddenly a cry of "phenytoin Salisbury" went up and hung there in the air, suspended by the hopes of 500 Leatherhead fans who believed it was really our day.  

If the Salisbury player had put the ball the other way perhaps it would have been but the penalty was saved and the 10 men of Kings Langley bravely went on to double their lead and win 2-0.

So it ended with us going down on goal difference.  Thoughts of last minute goals (as early as the second game of the season against Wingate & Finchley) and atrocious decisions were soon put to one side to clap the team off, pack the bar for the end of season awards and start to look forward to next season...

Potters Bar

This is it then, the whole shooting match comes down to a need for one win and three losses / draws.

As if today wasn't big enough we welcome the perfect pantomime villain to the Grove.  Sammy Moore arrives, starting his fourth five year plan in four years. That said he has pulled our hosts clear of trouble and will no doubt put up stiff opposition today.

Come and see the Treasurer fight people from entering the bar until 2.01.  See you there!

Ks 2 - 2 Tanners

A game that had everything, except for a competent official, ended 2-2 in dramatic fashion to keep us in the hunt for survival.

Leatherhead approached this game very differently to the game against Folkestone, with a high press and attacking confidence.  Jermaine was unplayable with other midfielders joining in to create pressure in their back line.

It was somewhat unfortunate then that their opening goal came from such a press.  For a second it looked like we could force a mistake but one pass found a midfielder that fed it out to their impressive No8 who in turn found a cross for a powerful header.

Leatherhead responded quickly by earning a penalty when Jermain was brought down in the box.  Up stepped Paget; scorer of emphatic penalties in recent games; who struck it too close to the 'keeper and it was saved... but not completely dead.

Paget responded quickly and headed the rebound towards goal.  It looked like it was cleared off of the line by some great defending but the replay shows he had encroached by about 5 yards and the referee (who only has one job during a penalty kick) missed it.  Thanks.

Leatherhead did not lie down and soon got level when Lamont stormed through the middle and placed a low and powerful shot into the bottom left corner.  Wild celebrations followed.

Second half and the referee was at it again.  Jermaine was in receipt of a ball from midfield but rather than controlling it in front of the defender he opted to spin and let the ball bounce over their heads.  The defender was beaten and Jermaine was through on goal so opted to put both arms around him and bring him down.  

Paget saw a second yellow for this on Saturday but the ref opted to wave a dismissive finger and allow play to go on... and play on it did as Ks notched up their second goal from their second chance of the game.  Again, thanks.

The ref wasn't done there.  As the game became more tense it began to affect some of the players.  No doubt some pleasantries between two players resulted in a headbutt from a Ks player.  The off-the-ball incident was seen by the ref and play stopped, assistant consulted and only a yellow card awarded.  No please referee, the pleasure is all mine.

With Kings Langley winning (a team I hadn't heard of until recently) a loss was looking like the end of the road but then the footballing gods took pity on us.  Leatherhead pressed for the equaliser and with just two minutes of injury time to go a powerful cross caught the shin of a Ks defender and flew in via the near post.

Not the win we truly wanted but with kind results we may just survive yet.  Mathematical geniuses have modelled the best result for us tonight... all we know is that we have to win on Saturday...

Travelling Tanners

Never before, in the history or relegation battles, has so much been asked of so few… Leatherhead travel to Ks today in this crucial game.

Last away game of the season, so make the short trip and support the Tanners.

Kick off at 3pm.   You know the way by now.  See you there!

Tanners 0 - 1 Folkestone Invicta

This fixture always sat awkwardly in our run-in as being one that posed the most problems and so it turned out.

Folkestone arrived having scored 80 goals this season, the exact same as we had conceded, so we set out to frustrate.  This largely worked a treat as we limited them to long range potshots for much of the game.

We offered little by way of attack. There was genuine excitement when Jermaine received the ball but often it was pumped to Eshun who had the tough job of trying to build anything when martialled by such an organised defence.  He got clobbered several times with Olivia needing to run on and water him like a freshly potted plant.

A credible draw looked likely until the moment that changed the game.  Paget skillfully martialed a long ball out from Folkestone (after one of our attacks broke down) and let it bounce over his head.  99 times out of 100 the ball wouldn't be allowed to bounce again but alas this time it did.  

The moment's lapse allowed the Folkestone player to get the beating of Paget and he brought him down as he tried to recover the situation.  A second yellow was shown and off he went.

The resulting freekick looked wild but took a kind deflection and found the back of the net.  0-1.

He tried to rally and while we forced a corner, nothing really came of it.  Ks on Monday it is then...

Folkestone Invicta are coming

Folkestone arrive to the Grove, like us, just one point from their objective.  Of the last three games we have this is by the toughest.

A last minute goal last week keeps us in the chase but we'll need two wins somewhere… let's hope one is today…

Kick off at 3pm. See you there.

Wingate & Finchley 1 - 1 Tanners

It remains to be seen if this was a must win but it felt like it was. 

The first half was dull with very few chances created. The most excitement was created when Chloe noticed that Luke was absent from the bench. 

Supporters were despatched to various parts of the ground to try and find him. He was finally spotted up with the pigeons in the rafters of the main stand. The spotting of Luke certainly calmed nerves but there was there little else to coo about in the first half. 

It seemed that Wingate were falling right into our trap of creating very little and looking very average. They made the mistake of scoring which, as usual, turned us into a completely different side. It was like we had just brought on Salah, Mane, and Firmino to replace the Southampton forward players (whoever they may be).

The Wingate keeper who had spent most of the game smirking, shouting "BALDY" at a  mild mannered green grocer, and muttering "you're going down" suddenly had work to do. 

Jermaine left it far too late to bring himself on but his appearance on 80 minutes changed the game. A goal on 90 minutes followed the first real period of pressure on the Wingate goal and it could have been all 3 points in the dying seconds but it wasn't to be this time.

The Wingate keeper waived a cheery fare thee well and safe travels to the Leatherhead supporters. He knew that the chances of seeing us again next season has been sadly diminished.

All is not yet lost so don't book your holidays in Devon just yet.

Travelling Tanners

Bom dia, from Cascais!

I can't be at today's game, a shame as it's a massive one. We could catapult ourselves out of the relegation zone today with a win and a fair wind.  We're off to Wingate & Finchley!

Kick off at 3pm.  Boa sorte!

Tanners 2 - 1 Cray Wanderers

Leatherhead stole all three points from the jaws of abject-boredom and defeat when it looked like we were finished for the season.

Considering how big this game was it was surprising just how flat the atmosphere was, both on and off the pitch.  Cray were determined not to lose and we happily obliged.  Jermaine was our main threat but when he limped off in the first half we were looking very average.

Second half and Max started to dominate a little more down the left started to cause Cray some problems.  A low cross, fired into the far post, was left by a defender who wanted to avoid an own goal and fell to a surprised Eshun who blasted wide from just a few yards.

Disaster struck when Cray decided that there was more than a draw on offer and put on a spell of pressure.  After about 10 minutes the pressure told and they headed home for what looked to be the winner on 70 minutes.

Eshun was replaced by Tayo and suddenly the pace on the left started to worry Cray.  This perhaps caused enough space for a ball chipped down the middle to leave Achie free and one on one with the 'keeper.  

There was a period where time stood still as the ball seemed to get stuck at his feet and just as we prepared for a shot to be hit straight at the 'keeper a panicked defender lunged in from behind, taking out Archie before he got to the ball.  Penalty.

Louie Le Tissier Paget stepped up and scored yet another penalty for Leatherhead.  Finding the side netting, giving the 'keeper no chance despite diving the right way.

A draw felt like relief but the winner brought wild jubilation.  In the last few minutes the ball fell to Max; marked and at a tight angle he made just enough room for himself to send a shot at goal.  It didn't have power, it didn't need to.  It was just placed - nay, tickled - right at the far post beyond the reach of the 'keeper to send Cray to their knees.

Wingate & Finchley remains a big game after all...

Cray Wanderers are coming

We welcome Cray Wanderers today in yet another must win game.  With East Thurrock playing Merstham today it proves to be even more decisive.  

Should both ourselves and Eath Thurrock win, we would find ourselves bottom despite winning four out of the last five games.  Things are getting tight.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Horsham 0 - 1 Tanners

Oh.  Oh my.

Only a win would do today as we look to achieve the "Great Escape" and thanks to some committed defending we managed it.

Our goal was stunning as it was simple.  Horsham were clearly confident about getting the win so decided to play party games; the first being musical statues.  Just as Max drove in a low ball, the music stopped and they froze.  

For most players the ball would be described as chest height but for Cameron it was at knee level; perfect to caress into the bottom corner.

Leatherhead then were put under increasing amounts of pressure as Horsham tried to respond which only got worse when McAuley saw a second yellow on the stroke of half time.  At the time I thought the ref had got it badly wrong when his attempt at a tackle didn't make contact with the Horsham player but I understand it was down to him controlling the ball with his hand to prevent a breakaway.

The second half was all about digging in and sticking to the task.  Leatherhead had some luck but we deserved it.  Jacob Adams made some incredible saves.  Cameron and Mitchel threw themselves in front of every attempt they could. 

Eventually we saw out the 45 minutes and moved into injury-time... it was almost like starting the half again as the referee added on minute after minute.  We watched in disbelief as everytime we cleared the ball, Horsham were allowed to reclaim and recycle the ball without the referee so much as looking at his watch.  

With the clocks going forward at 1am there was a risk of 60 minutes being instantly added but eventually the ref found his whistle and sent players and travelling supporters into wild celebrations.

Four points behind Cray... guess who rocks up the Grove on Saturday..?

Travelling Tanners

The A24 Derby is upon us as we play our old friends Horsham in their new home for only the second time.

We lost 3-1 at our place earlier in the season where we caught them just as they turned a corner following a string of defeats in the league (although doing very well, thankyou, in the FA Cup).

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Travelling Tanners

For some this will be the second trip to Enfield - well at least the second trip South Mims on the M25 - as this game was called off late in the day.

We're going on the back of two wins but our hosts will pose a very different problem to solve.

Kick off at 7.45. Good luck fellas.

Tanners 3 - 1 East Thurrock

Home success at last as Leatherhead snatched a win in the last few minutes where it looked like it was heading for a draw or worse.

The first thing that was apparent was that a number of East Thurrock yoof had taken advantage of the free coach travel and, armed with cans of their dads' beer, decided to stand with the home fans behind the goal.

The cherubs fell a little silent when Gough pounced on a ball in the box and headed past the stranded 'keeper.  Leatherhead looked the brighter side and went into halftime feeling confident.

The confidence should have been rewarded with a second goal when Jermaine was through one on one with the 'keeper but missed his chance to make it comfortable.

Inevitably this lifted East Thurrock who forced a good save before slotting home an equaliser after a spell of pressure.  Suddenly the sugar rush from the fizzy pop kicked in and the East Thurrock boys were full of it.

Leatherhead were nervous as the game entered the final minutes and it looked like a meaningless draw was fast approaching.  Suddenly Oyeboya (I think) found himself on the right hand edge of the box with only the 'keeper for company.  

The 'keeper tried to make a tackle but missed and brought our player down.  The ref' went for the default option of waving it away but amazingly the referee assistant (who clearly isn't in the officials' "Let's stitch up Leatherhead" WhatsApp group) waved his flag.  The referee then gave the penalty.  Begrudgingly.

Louie Paget stepped up and scored via the post to wild celebrations but with five minutes to go the supporters knew it wasn't over just yet.

Then the lively Oyeboya, in stoppage time, made a good run and latched onto a ball in front of goal and slid it under the 'keeper.  3-1 and surely we had all three points.  I realised, being the grown up, it would be wrong to gloat in front of the visiting kids.  Instead I adopted a dignified celebration to not make them feel any worse than they already did.  Well.  I should have done those things...

Three points and while the league is still not pretty reading it looks a lot better than it could have done had we lost as we now plan for a difficult trip to Enfield on Tuesday...

East Thurrock are coming

We've been here before. A big must-win home game where we turn up full of hope but leave with our tails between our legs.  Let's hope today is different.

East Thurrock arrive at the Grove, just one place above us and maintained their gap thanks to a fine win last weekend.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Corinthian-Casuals 1 - 2 Tanners

A vital three points on the road as we beat Corinthian-Casuals 2-1.  Not for the first time we got the winner in the dying minutes, but where we had a period of exciting "will they, won't they?" in those games this was more "they probably won't".

Leatherhead were on the whole the better side and deserved the three points but when the Casuals opened the scoring it looked like it was going to be another of those days.

As the first half drew to a close we needed something to lift us and it came in the unlikely shape of Mitchell Gough who launched into a flying header, the kind of which still has Trevor Brooking heralded by West Ham.

The second half and our hosts were really quite happy with a point and we were probably too nervous to try and change their minds.  The game seemed certain for a draw until we got a corner in the last minute of the game.  Corinthian-Casuals dealt with the first ball in but could not prevent the second ball sailing onto the head of Cameron Black, who deftly guided it into the bottom corner.

Two crucial goals scored by centre-backs which sets us up nicely for the massive game on Saturday...

Travelling Tanners

For what feels like the 10th time this season we travel to Tolworth in search of a must needed win.  Today we face Corinthian-Casuals as we attempt to climb off the bottom of the table.

It won't be easy as they sit mid-table and have had two credible draws against Lewes and Bognor Regis in the league while holding Carshalton to a 0-0 in the Surrey Senior Cup.

Kick off at 3pm.  You should know the directions by now.  Good luck fellas.

Tanners 0 - 1 Lewes

A result as tough to take as it was to watch in parts; spoilt mainly by a ref who managed to award a soft penalty and book four of our players while sparing any punishment for any of the visitors.

Leatherhead started the game well with Jermaine spearheading our attack.  Then midway through the first half he had a one one one with the keeper but scuffed his shot and pulled a hamstring at the same time.  He limped off with our chances of getting a win from the game.

The ref then saw to it to remove any hope of a draw in the second half when he saw two hands rest on a striker's back and when he flopped down awarded the penalty.

Our players became frustrated with this.  None more so than the also impressive Archie Burnett who was booked for a mere coming together but did not see anything go the other way when one of his runs were brought to an abrupt and cynical end.

Corinthian-Casuals on Saturday...

Lewes are coming

Lewes come to the Grove as we search for our first win of the season.  The reverse fixture was a baptism of fire for one of the previous management teams.  A good start soon fell apart when we had a player sent off and the resulting free kick took a wicked deflection to make 2-0... and from there it got worse.

A new striker arrives at The Grove to try and make the same impact that Merstham's two new signings did for them on Saturday.

Kick off at 7.45.  See you there!

Merstham 2 - 1 Tanners

Before the game I was commended for my optimism.  Should I express similar sentiments after this result I would expect to be taken away in a straight jacket.  Neither the performance nor the result give us any real hope of pulling off the Great Escape this season.

It all started so well.  A blind backpass was pounced on by Jermaine who calmly slotted it past the 'keeper on just 15 minutes.  That was the height of Leatherhead excitement as the attacking threat of our new players - dare I call the Christos Palace!? - dried up.

By the half hour mark it was Merstham that looked the most likely to score and after a string of corners to build the pressure they equalised.  Leatherhead defence stood off enough to allow a simple tap in.

Second half and Leatherhead needed a response that on the whole did not come.  We had a couple of flashes but there was no real death or glory mentality to really take the game to the hosts.

If our defence was indifferent to allow the first goal it was indecisive to allow the second.  A high ball was allowed to bounce up over the head of the defender and the Merstham striker ran in behind and placed his free shot on goal into the corner.

The game finished 2-1 and left me to go home and check my passport is up to date for trips to Guernsey.