Tanners 0 - 2 Walton & Hersham

It wasn't just a cutting edge missing today. It was the knife the bread and the butter.

Despite a more assured defensive display, Leatherhead were unable to find other players in green once they got into attacking positions and caused W&H very few problems. 

3 points from 4 games is about as welcome as a topless half time FaceTime call from the beach. 

A very disappointing start for a team fancied to be there or thereabouts at the end of the season.

If we play better in the FA Cup next week, questions will need to be asked about the effort being put into league games by players who should be getting better results. 

Walton & Hersham are coming

Bank Holiday football comes to The Grove today and this visit of ambitious local rivals, Walton & Hersham.

Our visitors knocked us out the Surrey Senior Cup last year and are tipped to be there or thereabouts this season in the league. Expect a big crowd…

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas! 

Thatcham Town 1 - 2 Tanners

Leatherhead made hard work of this one with the first half looking the most sluggish.   We controlled the game but seemed to lack a real cutting edge.

The opening goal was spectacular though.  Buchanan chased a ball to the left of goal and opted to loft the ball into the path of the on-coming Webb.  His first time volley found the bottom corner and sent the large travelling contingent into wild celebrations.

Leatherhead appeared to take the stuffing out of our hosts in the second half and really looked more likely to score.  Tarpey could have had a hatful had the ball not repeatedly got stuck under his feet or hit a bobble.

Tarpey and Buchanan are starting to understand each other though and Tarpey turned provider as his cross found Buchanan's thigh.  They all count.

Despite the dominance we somehow managed to allow Thatcham to score and set up a nervous finish.  A freekick on the edge of the box being just one nervy moment, but their 'keeper predicted it would end up in the Kennet and that's exactly what happened.

Three points and a visit of Walton & Hersham on Monday...

Travelling Tanners

The New Ground Klaxon sounds as we are off to Thatcham Town tomorrow.  By chance I have a party in Reading tonight  so this fixture worked out nicely.

Thatcham are unbeaten with two draws.  Leatherhead have been very much beaten in the league but put in a good display in the FA Cup.

Directions can be found here.  Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Tanners 3 - 0 Haywards Heath

Leatherhead looked a completely different side yesterday as they took the game to our guests and largely dominated.  The cup being the cup meant that, despite controlling the game, we couldn't really relax until the chances were capitalised on.

The first goal came via a freekick, swung in from the left then headed back across goal to the feet of Tarpey.  He landed awkwardly for him and it took him a couple of attaempts to prod it into the roof of the net.  Limbs.

Tarpey almost turned provided when he slide it into Elliot but he either mistruck it or tried to be too clever as it clipped the post and went out for a goal kick.

Second half and we needed a second goal.  Elliot broke down the right (looked offside I have to admit) and slid it into Tarpey.  We learned two things with the resulting shot; Dave Tarpey knows where the back of the net is and he knows where the camera is also as he ran to celebrate infront of the sizable lens.  Total limbs.

More pressure saw Leatherhead denied a clear penalty and Gough go narrowly wide from a low freekick.  Haywards Heath then threw on Melford Simpson, who created some havoc and saw his team carve out two chances that, had they gone in, would have shattered the dream... but one was well saved and another blasted over.

Two nil was more than comfortable until McGlashan chased a ball and got a little lucky with how the ball rebounded out infront of him from a tackle.    There was nothing lucky about his deft finish which delecately glided over the diving 'keeper.  Absolute limbs.

So now we have the draw to look forward to on Monday and the distant sound of the New Ground Klaxon as we travel to Thatcham on Saturday.

Haywards Heath are coming!

The FA Cup returns to The Grove tomorrow, with the visit of Haywards Heath.

Our guests are one of the favourites to do well in their league (same level) this season but have had a disappointing start by their standards, with just a draw to their name… a draw more than us though…

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Tanners 0 - 1 South Park

Erik ten Hag and Luke shared a glass of wine together and reflected on a difficult start to the season on Tuesday night.  A slender 1-0 defeat showed signs of improvement but still not enough to get something from the game.

I arrived at The Grove in my new Matt Bently top both shocked at how small it was and dizzy from having to breathe in so much.

Onto the game and Leatherhead looked a lot brighter.  The static side that got pumped 4-0 on Saturday were now willing to run and challenge our visitors a bit.  We looked most dangerous when playing it along the ground but still opted for some wasteful long balls that caused moans from the crowd.

South Park's goal was something of a surprise.  A long range shot went through a crowded area and neatly struck the post and snuck in.  The silence was deafening.

Football being the cruel mistress that it is, saw Gough's long range shot strike the post but sneak out.  The half ended 0-1.

Second half and I treated myself to one of our new pie range.  A pie that was rich in flavour and reasonably priced but did little for my enjoyment of wearing my new top.

Leatherhead dominated much of the second half but South Park managed to block everything that we threw at them. Elliot came on to add some height and strength upfront but it did not change our luck.

Onto the FA Cup on Saturday then...

South Park are coming

Both sides go into this game on the back of a 4-0 loss on the opening day of the season, looking to make amends.

Leatherhead, by all accounts, have made a couple of changes to gear up for tonight.  A night that will no doubt be a lot cooler than the conditions of Saturday.

Kick off at 7.45.  See you there!

Tanners 0 - 4 Westfield

Luke said he thought we needed a few games to get going, I didn't believe him thinking Tarpey alone would be enough but he was right.

Tarpey looked to get the season off to the perfect start when he pounced on a ball and prodded it beyond the reach of the 'keeper.  His guilty glance to the lino caused the flag to be raised but amatuer-VAR showed he was onside.

Westfield then decided to take the game to Leatherhead and we failed to respond.  They got the opening goal, scored by Bradley Walsh.  This caused some amusement for the home supporters... but the good humour was short-lived as the game went from bad to worse when they made it 2-0... then (onto the second half now) 3 and then 4...

Meanwhile, Leatherhead looked hot and tired and failed to register much more than one or two shots on target.

Leatherhead tick off another point of the compass on Tuesday with the visit of South Park... a side who also lost 4-0 today...

 

Westfield are coming!

Our new friends from Woking arrive at the Grove today as we get the season underway.  Some mixed results in friendlies BUT with some outstanding performances means we have shot to the top of the "fans' pick" for the title this season.  No pressure then.

Kick off at 3pm. See you there!

Burgess Hill are coming

Get your sun cream on, Burgess Hill are coming for the last pre-season of the season.

Hopefully all our players will come through unscathed as we look to be ready for this exciting season…

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Tanners 3 - 0 Epsom & Ewell

Leatherhead notch up their second trophy of the pre-season with a comfortable 3-0 over our tenants.

While we are the higher ranked side, it was Epsom & Ewell who forced the first save.  A looping shot that seemed destined to lob our 'keeper but he did enough to tip it over.

From there on though it was largely Leatherhead who controlled the game.  At the centre of it is the player who is looking like the real deal as we approach the start of the season; Dave Tarpey.

On 9 minutes the ball fell to him roughly on the penalty spot and he clinically finished to set us on our way.  Little else happened in the first half but in the second there was more drama and tragedy.

Into the second half and Max went down hard under a challenge and had to be stretchered off.  We still await the results but it sounds serious...

That didn't phase Tarpey though who chased a ball, jinked around the 'keeper and calmly placed it into the back of the net.  Not long after he flicked a ball into the path of our No 3 (still no names, sorry!) who calmly finished low into the far corner.

Epsom & Ewell had already lost their 'keeper by the time the third went in and then the outfield player in gloves found himself facing a Tarpey penalty.  Word must have got around that I was now paying £10 a goal and he took pity on me by calmly planting it directly on the post.  Top lad.

No sooner had the penalty been missed the referee blew his whistles and the voice of Freddie Mercury hung in the air as we were now champions of another trophy... 

Back to ordinary friendlies on Saturday with the visit of Burgess Hill...

Ks are coming!

After the drama of last Saturday, we turn our attention to the visit of local rivals and ex-tenants; Kingstonian.

I won't be at the game, as I'm off to Leicester, but will looking out for the score and bar sales from afar.

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas! 

Travelling Tanners

A rather long trip for a pre-season friendly tonight with a trip to Hungerford Town.  This is a club I have wanted to tick off for a while but visitors from Brazil mean this trip will have to wait...

The Leatherhead & Dorking Advertiser Trophy winners will no doubt need some shuffling after the effort of the weekend but go in good spirits.

Kick off at 7.45.  Directions can be found here.  Good luck fellas.

Tanners 3 - 2 Dorking Wanderers

Since the competition's rebirth it has been very much one way traffic, with Leatherhead only scoring one goal in the previous three meetings... but that was all about to change.

Change did not seem on the cards after 20 minutes when they notched up a 2-0 after having a goal ruled out for offside but when new-boy Tarpey met a lofted cross and guided it in off the far post the comeback was on.

The equalising goal I missed.  With a long queue in the bar and a freshly stocked "fanzone" bar full of various beer bottles, I relived my bar-working Uni days and plugged away there for half an hour.

I did make it out in time to see Leatherhead maintain some possession and then flick a ball through the middle to set up the winner.  Limbs.

Dorking decided to try and get something from the game but Leatherhead mastered the art of defending and held on to become the only team in Surrey.

The long trip to Hungerford is in store on Tuesday for the next friendly...

Dorking Wanderers are coming!

After a summer break The Lip is back in action along with the Tanners back at the Grove, hosting Dorking Wanderers.

Last season was not pretty to watch.  A jewel-encrusted Marc White led his team to a comfortable win against a side that lacked any kind of depth.  This year, Luke and Jermaine have built something more stable BUT still face the same problem of facing a side where the gap in leagues has now grown by two.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Tanners 2 - 0 Potters Bar

Not the Great Escape we talked about in the bar while drinking half price beer before the game.  Leatherhead  did everything they could in this division but a result in Hertfordshire proved decisive.

With three games of importance happening elsewhere it was difficult to focus on the game being played out in front of you but an early award of a penalty helped focus the mind.  

Mitchall Gough stepped up to take it, in place of the suspended Paget, but it was saved.  Max Worsfold was alive to the situation and placed the rebound into the bottom right corner.  It is amazing how easy it is to follow up a penalty without a defender encroaching by about 5 yards.

Leatherhead went on to dominate the first half, carving out a couple of great chances and even striking the bar, in a half of football that usually results in disappointment in the second half... but not today.

As the second half started news was filtering that results were favourable in our league it was just Kings Langley that were proving to the game too far, still holding onto their early 1-0 against Salisbury. 

Hopes of us retaining the vital win were boosted when we scored from a corner.  The Potters Bar 'keeper got a little over excited and attempted to save a shot that was going wide; taking the ball over the line for a corner.  In the ball came and Cameron Black, with the extra spring in the step that comes with being voted The Lip's Player of the Season, rose to head it home.

Time wore on and suddenly a cry of "phenytoin Salisbury" went up and hung there in the air, suspended by the hopes of 500 Leatherhead fans who believed it was really our day.  

If the Salisbury player had put the ball the other way perhaps it would have been but the penalty was saved and the 10 men of Kings Langley bravely went on to double their lead and win 2-0.

So it ended with us going down on goal difference.  Thoughts of last minute goals (as early as the second game of the season against Wingate & Finchley) and atrocious decisions were soon put to one side to clap the team off, pack the bar for the end of season awards and start to look forward to next season...

Potters Bar

This is it then, the whole shooting match comes down to a need for one win and three losses / draws.

As if today wasn't big enough we welcome the perfect pantomime villain to the Grove.  Sammy Moore arrives, starting his fourth five year plan in four years. That said he has pulled our hosts clear of trouble and will no doubt put up stiff opposition today.

Come and see the Treasurer fight people from entering the bar until 2.01.  See you there!

Ks 2 - 2 Tanners

A game that had everything, except for a competent official, ended 2-2 in dramatic fashion to keep us in the hunt for survival.

Leatherhead approached this game very differently to the game against Folkestone, with a high press and attacking confidence.  Jermaine was unplayable with other midfielders joining in to create pressure in their back line.

It was somewhat unfortunate then that their opening goal came from such a press.  For a second it looked like we could force a mistake but one pass found a midfielder that fed it out to their impressive No8 who in turn found a cross for a powerful header.

Leatherhead responded quickly by earning a penalty when Jermain was brought down in the box.  Up stepped Paget; scorer of emphatic penalties in recent games; who struck it too close to the 'keeper and it was saved... but not completely dead.

Paget responded quickly and headed the rebound towards goal.  It looked like it was cleared off of the line by some great defending but the replay shows he had encroached by about 5 yards and the referee (who only has one job during a penalty kick) missed it.  Thanks.

Leatherhead did not lie down and soon got level when Lamont stormed through the middle and placed a low and powerful shot into the bottom left corner.  Wild celebrations followed.

Second half and the referee was at it again.  Jermaine was in receipt of a ball from midfield but rather than controlling it in front of the defender he opted to spin and let the ball bounce over their heads.  The defender was beaten and Jermaine was through on goal so opted to put both arms around him and bring him down.  

Paget saw a second yellow for this on Saturday but the ref opted to wave a dismissive finger and allow play to go on... and play on it did as Ks notched up their second goal from their second chance of the game.  Again, thanks.

The ref wasn't done there.  As the game became more tense it began to affect some of the players.  No doubt some pleasantries between two players resulted in a headbutt from a Ks player.  The off-the-ball incident was seen by the ref and play stopped, assistant consulted and only a yellow card awarded.  No please referee, the pleasure is all mine.

With Kings Langley winning (a team I hadn't heard of until recently) a loss was looking like the end of the road but then the footballing gods took pity on us.  Leatherhead pressed for the equaliser and with just two minutes of injury time to go a powerful cross caught the shin of a Ks defender and flew in via the near post.

Not the win we truly wanted but with kind results we may just survive yet.  Mathematical geniuses have modelled the best result for us tonight... all we know is that we have to win on Saturday...

Travelling Tanners

Never before, in the history or relegation battles, has so much been asked of so few… Leatherhead travel to Ks today in this crucial game.

Last away game of the season, so make the short trip and support the Tanners.

Kick off at 3pm.   You know the way by now.  See you there!