Marlow 3 - 1 Tanners

No promotion for Leatherhead, as second-place Marlow proved to be too much for us in the second half.  A gutsy first half couldn't be replicated, and three quick goals finished us off.

 

There was something rather blasé about Marlow before the game.  They were far too relaxed in the bar for a game of this importance and Leatherhead came out and , seemingly, took advantage of it.  For the first time in three games, we were in control and putting them under pressure.  The poor-man's Ben White certainly didn't like it and tried some "housery" of headbutting Ibz then going down himself while holding his head.

 

Despite the pressure no goal came and we went into the break feeling optimistic of the next 45 minutes.  Little did we know disaster had just turned off the A404… due to a misunderstanding, my son was unaware today was the final and asked my wife to drive him there from Guildford (thus nullifying my environmentally friendly route of bicycle, two trains and a lift share).  I did not expect my wife to join him and as she looked excitedly into my eyes, I knew in the pit of my stomach we were about to lose.  After celebrating 20 years of marriage only 10 days before, I have had plenty of experiences of Southampton collapsing from far superior positions for the mere act of joining me on the sofa, so in person this effect could only be magnified.

 

Our hold on the game lasted barely ten minutes.  Their left-hand side was already a major problem and when they got a corner on the same side, they were well drilled and capitalised.  The next ten minutes was an absolute nightmare.  We had no response as they smelled blood and went to add to their lead.  A freekick.  Boom.  2-0.  Then the ref joined in, overlooking a foul on us in a dangerous position and letting Marlow tear down the other end to get a corner.  Boom. 3-0.

 

Hayden rang the changes, bringing on Trevan, and we tried to make a game of it.  On 87 minutes Trevan turned in a cross from close range, and had Ollie Cook's header not gone just wide it may have created some genuine concern but Marlow had more than enough left in the tank.

 

On the final whistle, their 'keeper opted to return some of the pleasantries he had received from some of our newer supporters.  Why he didn't opt to run to his supporters first, I do not know.  Perhaps they were too hard to find as of the 1,500 in attendance we had brought the lion's share… but the footballing gods care not for this and Marlow, finishing impressively in second place, win the final.

 

So, another season comes to an end and I have just realised it concludes the twentieth – twentieth! – season of The Lip! having started this back in preseason of 2003.  Onto next season then…

Travelling Tanners

This is it then; the whole shooting match.  Leatherhead travel, with two coaches, to Marlow tomorrow for the play-off final.

 

Plenty to think about with this game.  Not least the 6-0 aggregate scoreline they have over us… we are the third best away team in the league while Marlow are only the 6^th best home side.  Marlow are the highest scoring team in the league, while we have the joint best defending record.  The things you look up while trying to distract yourself the day before a final…

 

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there! 

Tanners 1 - 1 Southall (3-2 on penalties)

Leatherhead progress to the final the hard way, winning on penalties in front of over 1,000 supporters last night.

 

The away encounter showed what a difficult side Southall could be to beat, but defeat came only when we were down to 10 men so there must have been belief we could win this semi-final.  It certainly looked like they had belief, as we took the game to Southall for the first 35 minutes.  Ibz and Trevan probably having the best of our chances.  Then Southall won a corner and it seemed they managed to keep the ball in our half for the remainder of the game.

 

Into the second half and Southall scored early.  Alpha could not have anticipated the quality of the pass that went over his head and into the path of a player down the left wing.  The Southall player advanced into the ball and appeared to cross the ball but, by all accounts, it took a deflection and found its way into the bottom corner.  Given the events of Saturday, the Southall fans took a vow of silence, and we didn't hear a peep from them.

 

Predictably, Southall attempted to go into timewasting mode.  Their 'keeper, who had previous in the away game, "accidently" kicked the ball into the corner while picking the ball up.  The ref spotted it and warned him.  Moments later, Southall kicked the ball away after a foul was awarded and issued a yellow card.  This refereeing limited their "housery".

 

We needed a response and got one.  Tyler Cox danced past two players and fired a curling shot into the far corner.  Mr Tyrannosaurus Rex arms couldn't reach it and into the corner it flew.  For the next ten minutes, momentum was well and truly with Leatherhead.  Dan Hector headed onto the post and a freekick for a back pass on the 6-yard line hit a defender onto the post and bounced down and was cleared.   A goal did not come in that period and soon both teams wound down for extra time.

 

Extra time was nervy for both sides and fruitless so onto penalties.  We missed our opener, but I have noticed the following penalty seems the hardest to score in these situations and Amadou saved.  The next two rounds of penalties were scored to make it 2-2.  Then we stepped up to make it 3-2 and Amadou again saved to mean all we had to do was score.  Jerry stepped up and approached the penalty like Paul Pogba; an age passed as he tiptoed up to the the ball, and it was saved.  A chance for Southall to equalise but Amadou was simply too impressive and made another save to set up a final, away at Marlow…

Southall are coming!

Over the three games Southall and Leatherhead have played this season, Leatherhead edge this 5-3 on aggregate but all of that counts for nothing tonight in this play-off semi-final.

 

A big crowd is expected, so it may be wise to buy tickets in advance.

 

Kick off at 7.45pm.  See you there!

Tanners 3 - 0 Hartley Wintney

Leatherhead secured their place in the top half of the play-offs in style as they ran out 3-0 winners against Hartley Wintney.  In front of a big crowd, Leatherhead turned a slow start into a comprehensive win that sets us up for the week ahead.

 

Perhaps our players sensed there was a queue outside as the game kicked off, that they decided to hold off on attacking until we were all in.  The signal to attack was made by Ollie Cook, who hit a long range piledriver that the 'keeper did well to keep out.  Ibz forced a good save from a header, too, moments later.

 

Then the opening goal.  A lose ball in the box was pounced upon by two players, but Sow beat Robinson to it and slotted it past the keeper.  1-0.

 

Diallo then won a penalty.  For about 10 seconds he mesmerised his defender with an array of stepovers, before bamboozling him enough to force a clumsy tackle.  Masikini's penalty found the side netting, leaving the 'keeper no chance even if he had guessed the right way.

 

Half time and the bar was lively and getting ready for the party.  So busy that I missed the Ibz goal to make it 3-0.

 

Onto the play-offs and there is doubt on who we will play as the Southall v Chipstead game was abandoned.  Hopefully confirmation will come soon….

Hartley Wintney are coming!

Barring a huge shift in goal difference, Leatherhead are fighting for third place today with a point being enough to keep Southall at bay.  Across the three other teams that will be in the mix, they have lost just one game across 18 games between them… but let's worry about that on Wednesday.

 

Our guests beat Guernsey in the week but had shipped seven goals in the two previous games against Marlow and Southall… but let's worry about that on Wednesday.

 

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Hanworth Villa 2 - 1 Tanners

Not even updating my spreadsheet to reflect my first visit to Rectory Meadow - *sigh* ground three hundred and thirty t-t-t-two… *sobs* - could take away the disappointed of yesterday's results.  Marlow's trip to South Park was always going to be difficult and while Hanworth Villa are no pushovers to be eighth, there was hope we could seize the initiative and take second place.

 

Leatherhead never really looked likely to benefit for the draw being played out near Reigate.  Tyler Cox, for one, appeared to be in a very deep role that prevented him from embarking on some of the runs that have entertained us so much recently.  A tepid first half ended goalless.

 

Second half and the hosts started to enjoy their last home game of the season.  We helped facilitate this by failing to clear a ball in the box and allowing their striker to smash it into the roof of the net, from close range.  Things got worse moments later when a shot, from distance, through a crowded box found the back of the net.

 

Leatherhead did pull one back, on 75 minutes, from a Beanie penalty.  Ibz brought down crudely from behind by their number 3, who was booked for his troubles.  The ref reached for his pocket moments later when the same player aggressively prevented us from getting the ball back to the halfway line, but he realised that would mean a red card so put it away again.

 

Hanworth Villa forced the ref's hand on 90 minutes when a player did see a second yellow, just as nine minutes of stoppage time came up.  To add to the pressure, an injury meant that Hanworth Villa were left with nine men as they had used all of their substitutions.  Despite the two-man advantage, we could not get an equaliser and now need a Hanworth Villa to do us a favour, when they make the trip to Marlow on Saturday…

Travelling Tanners

Hold the phone.  I thought I had been to Hanworth Villa, but on checking I see the New Ground Klaxon sounds for the second time in three days.

 

Less than 48 hours ago, the Don't Panic Klaxon was sounding though as it looked like we were about to throw away 3 vital points.  We held on and go into this game against 8^th placed Hanworth Villa looking to keep the pressure on Marlow.

 

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Badshot Lea 2 - 3 Tanners

This wasn't quite the message we wanted to send to Marlow, last night.  A loud "we're coming for you", suddenly disappeared to the mosquito-hum of "we're still here", irritatingly.

 

The first half went, pretty much, to script though.  Despite a slow start, which invited Badshot Lea to have a couple of good shots, we soon took advantage of tired legs and looked to blow the opposition away.

 

On 9 minutes, Ibz flicked on a corner and found Travis who did enough to get the ball over the line.  One goal in 9 minutes and we were on our way needed to get the 9-10 goals needed to make the goal difference with Marlow remotely interesting.

 

On 24 minutes, Tyler Cox (who had dazzled defenders down our left wing) made space for himself and curled his shot through the hands of the diving 'keeper to make it 2-0.  Three minutes later it was 3-0, when Beanie sent in a freekick and in it went.  Ibz tried to claim he got a touch but "snicko" was inconclusive.  A goal every 9 minutes… hold on…

 

Into half time where the Badshot Lea players were no doubt given talking to and, seemingly, a blood transfusion as they came out completely revitalised.  We appeared to humour them by letting them have their fun, possibly believing they were never going to score, until the ref awarded a soft penalty, and it was 3-1.

 

We did try to rally, and perhaps we could have settled if the ref had seen an obvious pull on Tyler Cox which would have awarded us a free kick and let us compose ourselves… but it wasn't and within one or two minutes they made it 3-2.  A cross from the left found an unmarked man and slotted it into an unguarded net.

 

This was worrying.  Another substitution to try and control the game, which worked but there was blood in the water and Badshot Lea were up for it.  They won a freekick about 40 yards out, sent on a unprepared sub, and then sent the ball too long and out for a goal kick which brought about the end of the game and a much needed three points.  Marlow are still very much in charge of their destiny, but have a tricky away game at South Park this Saturday…

Travelling Tanners

It had better be a good game of football, as I was all set for a night in with The Apprentice Final tonight.  The disappointment will be masked by the joyous sound of the New Ground Klaxon as we finally make a trip into Wrecclesham.

 

Our hosts will no doubt be feeling a little leggy.  They have nine games to play in April and have conceded 10 in the last three games.  Meanwhile Leatherhead, who have score eight in our last tree games, need to dust off the disappointment of the trip to Southall.

 

Kick off at 7.45.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Southall 1 - 0 Tanners

The next time a manager wins Manager of the Month we should just send it straight back.  Thanks, but no thanks; as we lose against a side that offered little today.

The conditions were as bad as I thought.  Windy wind and a bouncy pitch.  That said, we took the game to the home side and it looked like we took the lead when a goal line clearance looked suspiciously over the line (at the time... less so when we looked on an iphone-filmed replay.

Ibz then forced a fingertip save, which went on to hit the pot.  Two great chances but no goal as we went into half time.

Second half and things soon started to go south.  Puma, who had just been booked, launched into a ridiculous challenge and fouled his man.  It could not have happened in a worse place on the pitch, being near the Southall dugout.  Out came the second yellow and we were down to 10.

The game was quite stale at this point, so we hoped for a draw (which with Marlow losing, was a bonus)... but this hope came to an end when Suthall broke down the left and crossed to allow an easy tap in.  Our players appeared to be upset that a foul off the ball went unnoticed.

The ref went on to frustrate us by doing things that only he knows why... like playing on after a bad challenge when there was no advantage and then suggesting our players wanted advantage (when they didn't) so not going back for a free kick or even giving a yellow card.

This frustration boiled over on the final whistle when a scuffle broke out.  The ref awarded a post match yellow to a Southall player.

Marlow would have been total limbs, as they came from 4-1 down to win 5-4.  No games for us for a couple of weeks to lck our wounds though...

Travelling Tanners

Leatherhead make their second trip to Southall, having played there in the FA Sodding Trophy, for this crucial fixture.

On the one hand, we are the most in-form team in the league.  On the other, we are playing on a tricky 3G surface with strong winds and with the curse of just being awarded Manager of the Month.

Kick off at pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

It’s off

Dry your salty tears, league officials. It's off. No game tonight, away at Badshot Lea. Spare them a thought though, with 9 games (including one cup) game left to play.

Corinthian-Casuals 2 - 3 Tanners

A strangely spirited and incredibly tall Corinthian Casuals side made this a much more exciting game than anyone had expected. The Fiel Londres were there in numbers to create a good atmosphere and make up for those sob o polegar da esposa.

Tanners attempted to start the game in our usual way by passing the ball around gently amongst ourselves but it soon became clear that Casuals weren't in the mood to watch and admire.

After 13 minutes a long range effort gave Casuals the lead soon followed by Amadou limping off the park. Fortunately we had an able deputy on the bench in the form of Harvey Keogh but he was unable to prevent Casuals making it 2-0 after 38 minutes. 

We normally try and pass the ball into the net but strangely today we supplied the tallest team in the league with a barrage of crosses. After a ugly goalmouth scramble we bundled a goal back from Ollie just before half time. 

In the second half we started to move the ball more quickly and Ollie equalised with another bundled goal on 53'. There was more than half an hour left to get the winner and the lumbering Casuals defenders started to tire and feign injury. The referee grew agitated with the huge Casuals players rolling on the floor disrupting play and awarded a soft penalty as a punishment. 

The Casuals manager disagreed with the decision and got sent off. If his team had showed this much passion in previous games they might have more than 15 points. Ghus Sow calmly slotted the penalty away on 87' to limbs. There was a cast iron penalty just a few minutes later but a rattled referee waved it away wishing he had found a different hobby. 

After an intransigent jobsworth league decision we have to play again on Thursday evening but it will be Marlow choking on their overpriced Michelin star burgers tonight as we open up a 3 point gap.

Travelling Tanners

It has been a long season for Corinthian-Casuals, this year.  Just 15 points to their name and 4-1 beating by Marlow on Saturday... but Leatherhead be warned... the bogey ground klaxon sounds today.

The league handed us Corinthian-Casuals as our festive opponent and we won 1-0 in the reverse fixture on Boxing Day.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  Good luck fellas.

Tanners 5 - 1 South Park

I got this one completely wrong.  I have been disappointed by South Park too many times and feared a draw, and an early calamity did little to ease my fears.  A hopeful ball was met by our 'keeper but a cruel bounce deceived him and allowed an easy tap in for our guests.

Our response was swift and decisive.  First Ibz; unplayable today; used his strength to hold off a defender and create a one on one chance which he slotted under the 'keeper.

The South Park 'keeper then made it 1-1 on massive errors when he saved a shot from Atewologun but then only managed to push it into his own net.  2-1.

Taking an early lead can sometime mean we start to play sideways, but we were far from being done.  The next goal was not only the best of the game but contender for the season.  

Tyler Cox deceiving the defence with a I'm-going-to-the-corner-flag-oh-no-I'm-not move and then fired in a cross to Ibz.  Ibz let the ball cross his body and then powerfully guided it into the top corner with the outside of his boot.  "GOLAÇO!!!!" said my nephew, when I sent him the footage.  3-1.

Ibz then pounced on a spilled save to make it 4-1 to get his hattrick and we even had a goal ruled out for offside in the last few minutes.

Again I was wrong.  I predicted the 4-1 scoreline would stay the same but the downtrodden South Park defence gave Trevan too much space on the edge of the box and his low shot beat the 'keeper and into the bottom corner.

A performance so stunning I didn't feel the need to embellish it with Easter Egg puns; and the fact my wife forgot to buy me one is entirely coincidental.

Off to Corinthian Casuals on Monday then...

South Park are coming

A rare glimpse of the sun, this morning, gives hope that the first of four games will be played today and this Easter fixture sees seventh place South Park come to the Grove.

The league has mandated we must play Badshot Lea on Thursday (although the weather may have the last word on that), so we are going to have a busy week.

Our guests are unbeaten in their last four games while we go into the game top of the form league... but this is a bogey team...

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

It’s off

Put the klaxon away. Heavy rain has ruined our evening.

Travelling Tanners

The sound of the New Ground Klaxon is itself a joyous thing, but the true joy comes from moving up to second place but first we must overcome another slippery banana skin of Badshot Lea.

Badshot Lea, who have back to back 3-1 wins, sit in 11th place.  With Marlow not in action tonight, a draw or better would see us climb to second.

Kick off at 7.45pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Tanners 2 - 0 Binfield

Binfield came into the game having conceded 96 goals, so with a 3 goal a game average we could either get a hatful or score early and struggle to find the back of the again... and for a large part of the game it looked like it was the latter.

For the opening 10 minutes it was clear who was chasing promotion and who was staring down the barrel of relegation.  Leatherhead were pulling them apart and could have scored two or three before our goal eventually came.

Trevan was set free down the right and sent a low cross into Ibz, who slotted his shot under the polite and friendly 'keeper.

Then a combination of missed chances and easing off the pressure took us into halftime 1-0.

As the second half wore on we slowly built up the pressure again and on 72 minutes we got the goal that made the three points feel a lot safer.  

A ball was spread out wide to Tyley Cox and with the ball falling slightly behind him he flicked back his right foot and sent the ball perfectly over his head and into his path to run onto.  His cross found Masikini who finished into the far corner.  

A third goal could have been added just moments later which made me think a thrashing was coming but suddenly the plucky visitors rallied and could have grabbed one back but the spectacular volley went just over.

Onto Tuesday then and the NEW GROUND KLAXON sounds for the trip to Badshot Lea...