Met Police 1 - 4 Tanners

A late flurry of goals sealed a fine 4-1 win away at Met Police in this "Boxing Day" fixture.

 

The first goal alone was worth the cash-only admission. The ball moved through the box in a series of flicks and tricks until Breckon looped it into the path of Mehmet, who volleyed it into the bottom corner.

 

The Met Police then dug in and frustrated us for the rest of the half. Even after they went down to ten men, following a nasty straight-legged, studs-up challenge, they held on and managed to snatch an equaliser when we mishit a clearance, and it fell to their striker.

 

In the second half, we scored another early goal. Hogan swung in a dangerous corner to the near post, and in a flurry of activity, it snuck in. I'm not sure if it was an own goal or whether the 'keeper completely misjudged it, but we gratefully accepted the late Christmas present.

 

While The Met threatened (hitting the post and nearly pouncing on a spilled Wheeler catch), Leatherhead upped the pressure and began to dominate. The return of Anas was key, as he coolly slotted a shot around the 'keeper to make it 3-1 and then set up Hogan to make it 4-1.

 

All in all, a nice away day… but now we return home for the visit of Ks on Saturday.

Travelling Tanners

It's Day 8 of my in-laws' visit and today I woke up to a flat tyre, so I am ready for a game of football today.

Today we travel to Met Police (cash only at the gate), who are finding life a little tough in the league BUT are capable of slotting five past Hendon.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Tanners 3 - 2 Bognor Regis

On arrival at the clubhouse, it was clear this was a big showdown, as a large travelling contingent had arrived by coach and occupied many of the tables. With it being the last game before Christmas, and facing once-National-League-South opposition, the fixture was set up to be a well-attended game. 

Just before kick-off, there was a last-minute decision to change ends, and as we crossed paths, we encountered a group of gingerbread men and some elves, as several fans had come in fancy dress. Some of Santa's Little Helpers had a song with some not-so-festive words about Leatherhead, but they lost—so stick that up your chimney and smoke it.

 

Onto the game, and it did not disappoint. Both sides took turns controlling the match, with us hitting the post and Bognor being denied by two desperate goalmouth clearances. Then, as I went to the bar to try and find a table, we scored. A misplaced header went wide but was rescued by "The Lip," Logan Coles, who put the ball back into the area, and Hedley fired it home on 47 minutes.

 

You would be forgiven for thinking we could see out the half, but we conceded a foul on the edge of the box. The resulting free kick was expertly bent to the left of the diving Wheeler. "F****** get in there!" shouted a parcel of merry reindeer.

 

In the second half, Leatherhead really showed what they were made of. "The Lip," Logan Coles, was purring around midfield like a Rolls-Royce, and trying to watch Nathan Hogan was like trying to follow a ball at a tennis match as he switched sides to confuse the Bognor Regis defence. Eventually, he found space to run at goal and bent the ball past the Bognor Regis 'keeper. If we learned anything from the game so far, it's that in training, we need to work on defending set pieces and our goal celebrations, as Hogan's was both confusing and strangely erotic.

 

Hogan was on hand to make it 3-1. A similar run, but this time he fired it powerfully in at the near post, with the 'keeper feeling a sense of déjà vu and going the wrong way. Suddenly, the fancy dress costumes and the words "replacement bus service" felt a lot heavier than they did at 2:45.

 

Bognor Regis did make things a little tense when, on 90 minutes, they were awarded a penalty. However, some festive timewasting in the corner meant we held on for all three points. Onto Saturday, when we play Met Police away…

Bognor Regis are coming!

Mid-table Bognor Regis come to the Grove today for our last fixture before Christmas.  This coincides with the arrival of my in-laws from Brazil, but somehow I have been given a free pass and will not be required to drive to Heathrow to pick them up.  The miracle of Christmas!

 

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Tanners 3 - 2 Harrow Borough

Leatherhead booked their place in the Fourth Round of the FA Trophy with a hard-fought game against Harrow Borough. Our guests certainly put up more of a fight than Hampton & Richmond did, and much of that was down to Rueben Collins. A centre-back who almost single-handedly kept us at bay when we faced him in a Chertsey shirt, he now marshalled the defence at Harrow, and our players almost seemed a bit scared of him.

 

But Rueben couldn't be everywhere, and when a partially cleared corner fell to Breckon, he had the time and space to find the bottom corner. A nice early goal to settle the nerves. 1-0.

 

Our nerves only remained at ease for 15 minutes, as a corner was swung in and headed home. 1-1. Leatherhead returned the favour on the stroke of half-time when Niran Butler rose to head home a corner and restore the lead. 2-1.

 

Onto the second half, and things were getting tense as both sides looked for the all-important next goal. On 63 minutes, it looked like the game was safe when Breckon rose to meet a cross and glanced it into the far corner. 3-1.

 

This two-goal cushion lasted just a few minutes, as Harrow worked some space in the box and fired a shot at goal, which took a massive deflection and beat Wheeler. 3-2.

 

Leatherhead dug in, and finally, the referee called the game to an end. Winners and off to the Fourth Round for the first time in approximately 50 years, with dreams of venturing north for some glamour ties…

Harrow Borough are coming!

Despite all of the rain, over recent days, we wake up to a morning so dray and crisp that even Raynes Park Vale would struggle to get the game called off.  So today we welcome Harrow Borough to The Grove to play this FA (sodding) Trophy Third Round Fixture.  

 

A win will see us through to the round where it goes fully national and a chance to go "up north"… but first we must get past a Harrow side that only lost to in-form Moneyfields 3-2 and knocked three past AFC Portchester recently.

 

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Tanners 5 - 2 Southall

Leatherhead bounced back from the defeat at the weekend to notch up an impressive 5-2 scoreline, despite letting a two-goal lead slip.

 

If we've learned anything in the last few weeks, it's that racing to a 2-0 lead inside the first 15 minutes generally means good things. So, everything looked fine when we raced to a two-goal lead. First, Halim reacted to yet another ball bouncing off the crossbar to continue his good start, and then Gallagher tapped in a well-placed cross from Paget. 2-0, easy.

 

Then things started to unravel — fast. Southall's goals came directly from their pace down the flanks and were in no way Sonny Wheeler's fault. The fact that I say this just after meeting both of Sonny's parents, so they now know my identity, is neither here nor there. Within the space of two minutes (and just four minutes after we had gone 2-0 up), we were pegged back to 2-2.

 

Leatherhead now resembled a battered boxer, stumbling around while Southall looked to apply the killer punch. Within the next ten minutes, we could have found ourselves 4-2 down but for a close-range shot blasted wide and (Mr. and Mrs. Wheeler, please take note) a fine save to Sonny's left. But somehow, we made it to the bell, slumped down into the corner, had water squirted into our faces, while Selley shouted instructions into their ears.

 

In the second half, Leatherhead regained their composure and patiently went about their business while looking for the winner. At around the 60-minute mark, Southall abandoned their attacking approach and started going down injured a lot more.

 

Finally, the pressure told, and Halim was set up by another Paget cross and slotted it away on 75 minutes. 3-2, and the floodgates were about to open.

 

Two substitutes made the game safe in quick succession. First, Massango pounced on a loose ball, ran into the box, and delicately chipped the 'keeper. 4-2. Then, The Lip's Logan Coles came on with a point to prove. Cruelly omitted from having an official player photo or announcing his sponsorship details, he saw the ex-Tanner Mitchal Gough on the ball and pounced. Stealing it from him, he marched on goal, calmly rounded the 'keeper, and found the back of the empty net. 5-2 and a timely reminder that this quality player is in the squad and has been sponsored…

 

Poor Mitchal would not have enjoyed his return to The Grove, as he was involved in both of the last two defensive errors, providing the kind of contribution Fareham's No. 12 still has nightmares about.

 

So, the five-point gap is restored, but now we go on again and face our old friends Raynes Park Vale on Saturday…

Southall are coming!

It looks like we have a game on! I feared last night's rain would ruin our chances, but a day of largely clear sky has meant we can put Saturday behind us and get get on with it.

Tonight we welcome Southall, who sit just one point above the relegation zone.

Kick of at 7.45pm. See you there!

Tanners 2 - 3 Westfield

Leatherhead failed to grab the chance to move eight points clear of Westfield following a disappointing 3-2 loss at The Grove.

 

After 15 minutes, I understood how Hampton & Richmond fans felt a couple of weeks ago as we allowed our guests to rush to a 2-0 lead.  Selley described our three conceded goals as sloppy, but I feel that is a little harsh as the opener was created from their No 9 plucking the ball from the air to create the perfect run at goal.  Wheeler came out to close this down, but the composed striker went by him and rolled it into the empty net.  0-1.

 

The second goal, fair play, was poor defending as we had about two or three opportunities to deal with the situation before the ball was played into the area for a tap in.  0-2.

 

Leatherhead fans had something to cheer about when Halim was brought down by either a defender or 'keeper (they both slid in and made contact while both pleaded their innocence) and Hogan stepped up to find the back of the net, despite the 'keeper guessing the right way. 1-2.

 

Surely, we would now go on and win this game… but alas Westfield got a third on the 37-minute mark.  It looked like Kane was pulled back to prevent him from dealing with the loose ball on the edge of the box, but the ref didn't see it that way and the Westfield player nipped around him and slotted in a through ball that was prodded home.  1-3.

 

After the break, we needed an early goal and got one.  Anas was provided with the ball inside the box and fired his shot into the roof of the net.  2-3 and game on.

 

Alas, despite applying good spells of pressure the equaliser didn't come.  Gallagher came the closest when he pounced on a loose ball, but his effort hot the crossbar and bounced clear.  Westfield held on to take all three points, but still sit two points behind us as we look to rebuild and face Southall (subject to the weather) at home on Tuesday…

Westfield are coming!

This is a big game.  This is a Sky-Sports-12.30-kick-off type of game as the top two face off together, at The Grove.  Out guests sit five points behind us but have scored two more goals… arguably those goals came against Hayes & Yeading, as they beat them 7-0 in October whereas we could "only" must five mideweek.

 

Kick-off at 3pm.  See you there!

Hayes & Yeading 0 - 5 Tanners

You know it's going to be an unpleasant journey when Waze reroutes you through the fifth busiest airport in the world. So, after 90 minutes of driving just 20 miles from Woking, it was with some relief that I made it to a freezing cold bar, sat down with a pint, and unwound before the game.

 

Leatherhead came out firing, taking their frustrations from the traffic out on the hosts and looking for goals from the very first minute. We thought we had the breakthrough when Hogan smashed home a low cross into the box, but the flag went up 2-3 seconds after the referee had awarded the goal. New-boy Halim also put the ball into the net a few minutes later, but the flag went up well beforehand, and he was lucky to escape without a yellow card.

 

Then came the goals. First, Hogan darted in from the left and smashed the ball across the face of the goal, past the diving Roger Daltrey lookalike in goal. Matters got worse for Hayes & Yeading just five minutes later, when a cross was blocked by a raised arm in the box. A penalty was awarded and neatly dispatched by Kane, despite the 'keeper diving the right way and the distraction of a supporter live-streaming the spot kick to someone at home, shouting, "Can you see it?" as Kane took the run-up.

 

Hogan made it a brace as we queued for a warming cup of tea, latching onto a spilled save at close range to send us into halftime 3-0 up.

 

The second half made me wish I'd taken my own advice and worn two pairs of socks. Leatherhead eased off the gas a little but still controlled the game while maintaining a respectable amount of attacking intent. Hayes & Yeading took advantage of this and created some good chances for themselves, but Sonny and the crossbar proved to be too good for them.

 

Leatherhead then added a couple of cherries to the cake. Anas cheekily chipped the ball over a diving 'keeper for a goal, and Halim scored on his debut with a powerful side volley into the corner.

 

A five-goal win, away at a side just outside the play-offs, is just the boost we need as we head into an almighty showdown with Westfield on Saturday…

Travelling Tanners

Leatherhead travel to a side that will be looking to get into the play-off places with any kind of results against us tonight.  We have been relying on late goals, in the league, to keep us top but hopefully we can make things a bit more comfortable tonight.  The weather certainly won't as it could be the first Double Socker of the season.

 

Kick off at 7.45pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Travelling Tanners

into the play-off places with any kind of results against us tonight.  We have been relying on late goals, in the league, to keep us top but hopefully we can make things a bit more comfortable tonight.  The weather certainly won't as it could be the first Double Socker of the season.

 

Kick off at 7.45pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Bedfont Sports 2 - 2 Tanners

If Leatherhead had played like they did in the last 10 minutes, this game would have been put away with ease. However, as it happened, we struggled against a side that came with a plan.

 

For the majority of the game, Leatherhead were like modern jazz: not incredibly entertaining, full of hopeful long balls for Breckon to deal with, and notable for the players who weren't being played. Cameron Black was strangely absent, and we were served by neither Butler.

 

One thing Bedfont managed well was frustrating our attacking players by playing a high line, which caught us offside more than in any other game I can remember. It was like having Dave Stevens back in the squad. The long balls to Jacob were also a source of frustration, as they were often overhit or too straight to do anything with. To make matters worse, Jacob suffered a nasty cut to the face from a clash of heads and was whisked away to hospital.

 

That said, we did manage to get the ball in the back of the net, but it was ruled out for offside. Anas also came close when his shot looked certain to find the back of the net, only to hit the post and bounce to safety. Bedfont opened the scoring by working the ball into the box and firing it past Wheeler. 0-1.

 

Anas did eventually get on the scoresheet by chasing a ball down the right and lobbing it towards the far post. Someone was there to tap it in, but it had already crossed the line. 1-1.

 

I thought the second half would be dramatically different, and that we would take control of the game, but alas, it was more of the same. Bedfont scored again with a close-range goal, and we were behind once more.

 

A couple of changes saw us start to look livelier, while Bedfont seemed less confident in their high line, though they somehow managed to soak up the pressure. Just as six minutes of added time were announced, we got the equaliser. Our long ball tactic was abandoned in favour of our more familiar ball-to-feet approach, and a swift cross found an unmarked Anas, who prodded it home on his second attempt. 2-2.

 

With four minutes of added time still to play, we pressed hard for a winner and nearly got it, only to be thwarted by an excellent save and an incredible goal-line clearance from their No. 7. So, we settle for a point—but it's a point more than Westfield managed, and we now have the chance to pull further ahead when we play mid-week at Hayes & Yeading…

Travelling Tanners

Back from the distraction of the Trophy and onto this league game, away at Bedfont Sports.

Our hosts have slipped down the league, having not won for six games, although a recent interview indicates they are ready to get back to the style that saw them win games.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Tanners 2 - 0 Hampton & Richmond

When the Hampton & Richmond manager, Alan Julian, last came to the Grove to face Leatherhead, he was with a Billericay side where Glen Tamplin shouted at him to shut his eyes while singing "The World's Greatest." No doubt he wished he could shut his eyes again and make it all go away, as Leatherhead ran riot over his side today.

 

Following the toss, we were forced to change ends, and we barely had time to get behind the goal before we were 1-0 up. A blistering run from Anas and a deadly cross found Seb Tauta Caballero, who headed it home with less than two minutes on the clock. 1-0.

 

Had we scored too early? No, because it only got worse for our National League South guests. Another cross from Anas went long and found Gallagher alone, who stroked it into an empty net. 2-0.

 

From then on, Leatherhead were firmly in control. Towards the end of the first half, the ball got stuck under Hogan's foot; otherwise, he would have been clear on goal. In the dying minutes, Ty Butler did manage to break away, but the 'keeper got a vital touch to keep it out. In between, I was more concerned about conceding at Fareham than I was against this team.

 

I sometimes find that referees, when they come from the same level as the higher-division side, often lean towards the more familiar team. This was certainly the case in the last few minutes, as the referee turned a blind eye to some terrible tackles from the frustrated Hampton & Richmond players. Sadly, this boiled over, and yet another FA Trophy game ended in a kerfuffle.

 

That was a mere distraction, though, as the win was secure. Now we go into the draw on Monday, dreaming of trips to Carlisle or Rochdale…

Hampton & Richmond are coming!

Game on! Storm Claudia did not deliver the devastation it did in other parts of the country.

Our old friends, play in the National League South but have suffered a string of disappointing results. Some of their fans think this is a "great draw" though…

Kick off at 3.03pm. See you there!

South Park 0 - 2 Tanners

As the teams lined up in their dressing rooms to come out, the home captain let out a battle cry to "let them know how ******** good we are." However, it was clear from the outset that South Park hadn't come to play football but instead came to show us how "hard" they were by trying to kick lumps out of us. Throw in a wet, slippery, plastic pitch, and it's understandable that we found it difficult to settle.

 

But settle we did, and we got a first-half goal from a hotly disputed corner (I don't know why they disputed the corner—it was as clear as day). The resulting long ball fell to The Lip's Logan Coles (replacing my sponsorship of Sam ou est de St Croix), who smashed it in off the far post.

 

In the second half, one-nil down, the penny finally dropped for the home side that they were going to need to play football a little bit to get a goal back. This made for a more entertaining game all round, and we felt the pressure a bit.

 

But from pressure comes great opportunities, and towards the end of the game, Body was set free in a one-on-one with the 'keeper. We've grown used to players like Anas and Hogan finding a way to slip it past the 'keeper, so when Body took an extra touch to round the 'keeper, I thought he'd blown it. However, he had the speed to catch up and slot the ball into the empty net.

 

Two-nil, and with the game safe, South Park reverted to their old ways and tried to start a fight by the corner flag. The weak officials could have prevented this by giving a foul when Anas's shirt was pulled up over his head, but the tussle was allowed to carry on until things boiled over.

 

On to Saturday, and hopefully the rain doesn't spoil the visit of Hampton & Richmond tomorrow…

Travelling Tanners

Looking back at this fixture, over the last ten games we have won six of them and drawn one… but it somehow feels a lot worse as I only seem to recall disappointment when playing our hosts.   Added to the fact that we are second (on goal difference) in the form guide and South Park are third, this looks to be a tense game.

 

Kick off at 7.45.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Fareham Town 1 - 2 Tanners

A smash-and-grab job for Leatherhead in Portsmouth, as a last-minute winner breaks Fareham hearts and keeps us clear of Westfield.

 

A big travelling crowd came to see Leatherhead on the south coast, probably expecting to see a hatful of goals against bottom-of-the-table Fareham, but spent most of the game watching in frustration as our hosts took the game to us.

 

In a cagey chess opening 15 minutes we, once again as we did at Egham, got caught out with the same King's Indian Attack, with a sudden long ball into to right hand side and a free run on goal.  A powerful finish beat Rileigh and put the home side 1-0 up.  Strangely, a home supporter in a red tracksuit decided this was the game to "give it large" when facing both the top of the table team and the largest travelling support of the season.

 

The first half was not pretty.  Fareham were a niggly side that both worked hard and played dirty (I haven't seen so much shirt pulling in a game, for example), and it looked like we were expecting an easier ride.  We did get a goal to ease the nerves when on out-swinging corner was met by Cameron Black around the penalty spot who deftly guided a looping header over the No 3 on the line and into the back of the net.

 

While the ref let a lot of shirt pulling go, he also overlooked a reaction from Gallagher that could have seen him sent off on the stroke of halftime, but he survived, and we went in 1-1.

 

Changes were made and we started to look a lot more urgent.  Fareham were asking their own questions of us but it seemed like it was inevitable that we would score… until it didn't.  A minute when in a minute's silence seems like an eternity, but when chasing a goal they start to fly by.

 

Enter stoppage time, and if their manager has anything about him, he would have gone into the dressing room after the game and apologised to his hard-working team for losing this game.  A substitution in the 91^st minute is done simply to waste time, certainly when you place a five-foot something player in the back three.  There was something special about this player (Number 12) as the crowd let out a large cheer when his name was announced and a few went over to rub his bald head for luck.  He needed it, as the once comfortable defence that kept us at bay was now unsettled.

 

In the 92^nd minute Cameron lofted a long ball into the box towards Breckon.  Breckon was being manhandled so it went over his head and fell into a space in front of the Number 12.  What he lacked in height he made up for in enthusiasm and leapt to clear it, but physics came at him fast; it glanced off his head and into the path of Anas who smashed it home.  Limbs.  Number 12 could not have placed the ball more perfectly if he had tried.  The only thing more precise was the finish itself.

 

We held out a spirited spell of pressure from Fareham, as they attempted to get a point they probably deserved but we held out.  Onto Tuesday and the bogey ground of South Park.