Westfield 0 - 2 Hanworth Villa

For two sides with average attendances in the low hundreds, it was a credit to them that nearly 1,500 turned up for this final. While impressive, as the ground offers very little in terracing it struggled to cope and it was difficult to find a comfortable spot.  By contrast, I was at the Combined Counties ground of Rusthall for their final with only 50 fewer and found it a lot more enjoyable.

 

The game itself didn’t burst into life as frenetically as it did on Wednesday — we had to wait a full 15 minutes for the first drama. A cross into the box was misjudged by a Westfield defender and the ball hit his raised arm, denying a Hanworth Villa player a chance on goal. The ref hesitated, then pointed to the spot and also brandished a yellow card. It was unclear whether the yellow was for the handball or for petulantly scuffing the penalty spot. The kick was calmly dispatched and the visitors were 1–0 up.

 

With bigger crowds come a greater number of idiots. A Hanworth Villa fan left his flag behind the goal his team were warming up in front of. He mistakenly believed it would be safe once the game kicked off and they were shooting the other way. A jaunty chorus of “we’ve got your flag” seemed like harmless banter, but the mood changed when “we’ve ripped your flag” started up and fans and security guards had to wade in and retrieve it. You stay classy, Westfield.

 

Ten minutes into the second half, the game swung well and truly in Hanworth’s favour as Westfield were reduced to ten men. The player booked for the penalty incident had already survived a poor tackle — and a warning — but then brought down a player advancing on goal. Ten minutes after that it was all sewn up when a low ball into the box bounced around before a Hanworth player prodded it past the Westfield keeper. 2–0.

 

Suddenly we were surrounded by non-league experts as they discussed what league Hanworth — and a number of other clubs — would be in next season. The general consensus was the would be in “the Southern”… along with Chertsey, and something about Chichester, with it all to be decided on 15 May.Strangely, no one mentioned Leatherhead…

 

Unsurprisingly, no one mentioned Westfield, as they were being completely battered by now. Hanworth should have scored two more in the closing minutes with two clear chances. I can only assume that, with a large sandpit in each goalmouth, the players forgot they were playing football and thought they were now competing in the long jump.

 

The full-time whistle brought a mini pitch invasion and well-earned celebrations from Hanworth Villa’s players and management. That just left Westfield — cocky and ungracious in November, distraught in May — to trudge off and eat some humble pie. Shame.

Westfield 1 - 1 AFC Portchester (7-6 on penalties)

Two glorious moments of high drama bookended a nervy game, where both sides seemed reluctant to fully commit until the dying moments — when it briefly looked like Portchester might pinch it.

 

On arrival at the ground, it looked like we were in for a sensational crowd, but on closer inspection many of the coaches were for a school trip. So, in reality, it was a more modest attendance — with a respectable number still making the journey up from the south coast.

 

The game didn’t take long to spark into life. In the opening minute, a cross-cum-shot flew in and beat the keeper (I couldn’t see if anyone got a final touch). Disaster for the visitors… until, from the restart, they lofted a ball into the box for their striker to run onto. He just beat the keeper to it and was brought down in the process. As we found away at Moneyfields, there’s no red card if there’s a genuine attempt to play the ball, so Portchester had to make do with the penalty — which they put away to make it 1–1 after just three minutes.

 

I joked about getting two goals in three minutes and it ending 1–1 — and that’s exactly how it transpired. Westfield did get a penalty on 75 minutes, but it was saved. Portchester applied real pressure in the last few minutes and throughout the six of added time, but it ended all square.

 

An interesting rule change meant extra time was scrapped. Strange, given this isn’t some poxy league cup but the culmination of a whole season, yet both sides seemed to accept their fate and set up for penalties pretty quickly.

 

The first two pairs were scored, and then Westfield missed — the ball clipped the bar, came down on the line, then clipped the keeper, who somehow reacted before it rolled in. There must be a statistic on this, but I always feel the penalty after a save is one of the hardest to take, and sure enough Portchester’s next was well saved.

 

The remaining penalties were all scored until we reached the eighth. I’d noticed the Portchester keeper had been creeping off his line and sensed it would catch up with him. When he saved again, the ref indicated it had to be retaken. The re-take was put away to make it 7–6 to Westfield, and then up stepped “Cal”…

 

Poor Cal. He’d taken dog’s abuse from the management team all game and could do no right. When the penalty was saved, he ran forwards — either to celebrate a bit too early (Portchester would have had to score next anyway) or to remonstrate. Either way, it earned him a yellow card, which promptly incensed the Westfield bench. They were convinced it was his second and he should be off, and tried desperately to intervene… only to pipe down when Cal then skied the ball into Sheerwater and Westfield won the game.

 

I wouldn’t have predicted this, but both sides from Portsmouth lost, setting up a final between Westfield and Hanworth Villa on Sunday…

Tanners 2 - 0 Bedfont Sports

Leatherhead walked out to their last guard of honour of the season — and to a crowd of over 700 — to play out this end-of-season game. With both sides having nothing to play for, it would have been forgivable to simply go through the motions, but an entertaining game was played out.

 

Leatherhead looked like they wanted to finish with a bang. Breckon was soon firing just over, and Waters clipped the bar with a powerful shot. Breckon opened the scoring on 22 minutes. Kennett won a free-kick on the edge of the box, and it was placed onto the head of the striker, who made no mistake. 1–0.

 

Leatherhead didn’t go without the odd scare. Sonny Wheeler was forced into a good save to keep us 1–0 at half-time.

 

The half-time team talk must have focused on the need to get Hogan his outright Golden Boot, because he played like a man possessed — with his teammates determined to help. Take Jordan Gallagher, once described as a great footballer but a horrible bloke by a former chairman: he was through on goal but, rather than take the shot, tried to feed Hogan for a tap-in.

 

On 75 minutes, The Lip’s Player of the Season, Sonny Wheeler, was subbed off so he could get the standing ovation he deserved. Not a dry eye in the house. Moments later, George Hedley rose — perfectly manicured stubble and all — to head home our second and make the three points safe. 2–0.

 

The game was a fitting end to our season, and the start of a night of celebration where others picked up their awards. Now all that remains is to sit back, with a cool beer, and watch the drama of the play-offs unfold…

Bedfont Sports are coming!

True last day of the season stuff today as safe and relegation Bedfont Sports come to play already crown champions Leatherhead. Perhaps the biggest thing on offer today is the chance for Hogan to rightfully claim his golden boot. Kick off at 3pm. See you there!

Southall 2 - 4 Tanners

The green green grass of away.  Leatherhead ticked off three of their objectives with a 4-2 win at Southall.  Remain unbeaten away from home all season, tick.  Score 100 goals, tick.  Maintain Hogan’s run in for the Golden Boot, tick.

 

Anas got us on our way before South struck back with two goals.  Then up stepped Hogan.  First a goal on 35 minutes to draw level and then late in the game to put us 3-2 up.  Gorgeous George got our 100^th goal on 90 minutes. 4-2.

 

Back to The Grove on Saturday, for the last game of the season and player presentations…

Travelling Tanners

The last away game of the season and the final game to retain our unbeaten record on the road.  To do that we face sixth place Southall who have no chance of reaching the playoffs.

The game is played at Hayes & Yeading. Hopefully the sun may warm their bar up a bit.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  Good luck fellas.

Hendon 1 - 1 Tanners

My pre-match write-up included the rather smug line of “where were you at Hendon?”, as I suspected far fewer would travel to this one than, say, Littlehampton. It was a position I almost instantly regretted as the 1 hour 15-minute journey became 1 hour 45. Throw in a surprise road closure and it was a cool two hours. It was the kind of trip that needed, in addition to a cold pint, a pulsating passage of play to get me over it. Unfortunately, I had to wait until about the 55-minute mark to get it.

 

We looked livelier than we did against Met Police, but still not the side that tore into Ks, for example. Anas went just wide on 14 minutes, but other than that we were content to keep our hosts at bay.

 

Into the clubhouse at half-time — and to catch the Grand National. My mind cast back to last year, when we were already several goals down against Uxbridge. Another reminder that I’m still owed a pint.

 

Second half, and Nathan’s run and shot ten minutes in suggested we wanted to win this game. Hendon responded three minutes later with a powerful header. 0–1.

 

It looked like Cameron Black had a quick equaliser when he hit a fierce side-volley from near the penalty spot. It seemed destined for the back of the net, but somehow the keeper managed to get two firm hands on it and keep it out.

 

All looked lost as we entered the last of the seven minutes of added time, so I drifted towards the gate. A local shouted at the ref, asking why he’d added so much time for us “twats” (I think he meant “champions”), just as we launched our final attack. A cross was met by a Hendon defender, who could only loop it into the air. The ball fell to Barrington, who hit a powerful volley that the keeper couldn’t get to this time. 1–1.

 

Hendon slumped to the floor, while we celebrated keeping our away unbeaten run intact. The last test of that record comes on Saturday, when we travel to Southall.

Travelling Tanners

The Champions travel to Hendon today as we look to sign off the season in style.  Let’s see how many of the 879 that were there Monday make this trip…

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Tanners 1 - 1 Met Police

This was always likely to happen. After the celebrations of Saturday, it felt like the mind was willing, but the body was weak — we moved the ball sharply enough, but without any real penetration or those runs that turn possession into chances. Off the pitch, too, it was a little jaded. With nearly 900 in attendance, many seemed to be there for the trophy lift, with the football a mere sideshow as people chatted away as if they were at the cricket.

 

In the first half Sonny Wheeler was forced into a good save, but very little else happened, and we went in at half-time at 0–0.

 

The second half was spearheaded by a quadruple change, and it gave us more energy going forward. Breckon took a cross to feet and placed his shot just wide five minutes after the restart. Had that gone in, it might have crushed the spirits of our guests, but they fought on and got the opener when we lost the ball deep in our own half. It looked like we’d survived the initial attack, but a well-placed strike found the far corner. 0–1.

 

All of a sudden there was a blemish on the cup — a greasy fingerprint that would be hard to buff off in the photos — so we pressed for an equaliser. Eventually it came, late in added time, when Barrington fired a powerful shot that could only be parried into the path of Jordan. From a tight angle he found the back of the net, sending the Met Police to their knees in disappointment. 1–1. A minute later we had a throw-in and, with Barrington, sent the long ball, but it was too close to the ‘keeper and any fairytale finish was lost.

 

Then we moved into the ceremony, with a plinth erected on the halfway line. It was great to be there when the cup was finally lifted. I say finally, because each player introduction felt like it took an age — I forgot whether this was for winning the league or whether we’d drifted into July and somehow won the Advertiser Trophy.

 

All in all, a good day. Such a good day, I realised about 30 minutes after getting home that I couldn’t find my cycle helmet. I still don’t know whether I left it at the ground and cycled home without it, or whether I’ve misplaced it somewhere around the house…

 

Onto the weekend, when we look to get back to winning ways and try to work on a couple more milestones — 100 goals, and Hogan’s Golden Boot.

Met Police and the Trophy are coming!

Smugness levels get to be dialled up to 11 today, as we face Met Police after clinging the title on Saturday. Hopefully the Met Police will give our players a guard of honour in full uniform before running in to get changed. Hopefully our players can shake off their hangovers as there are still targets to aim for. Hogan’s Golden Boot, 100 points and we need to be professional for the benefits of clubs like Littlehampton fighting at the bottom. Kickoff at 3 pm. See you there!

Littlehampton 0 - 2 Tanners

Leatherhead turned up to this one — both on and off the pitch. With an attendance of over 700, I'd estimate 500 could quite easily have come down the A24 to see us get over the line. If the players had any doubts about the size of the occasion, they certainly didn't once they walked down that long, fenced tunnel with enthusiastic — and perhaps slightly tipsy — supporters packed either side.

 

The first half didn't live up to the hype. Mark Waters hit the bar with a header but, on the whole, it was an even affair.

 

Second half, and the league was won. Our campaign started with Breckon opening the scoring at Westfield, so it was fitting that his goals delivered the three points we needed. Both were headers. The first came after a mazy run down the right, and a looping header beat the keeper. The second came from a corner, and his deft near-post header beat him again from a tight angle.

 

The game seemed to race by and soon we were in injury time, pleading for the final whistle. When it came, many had the restraint not to run on the pitch. The first to do so was a well-known supporter — and his son, who I don't think I've seen at a game for 10 or 20 years. I feel a new book coming on.

 

We then joined the players and management team to enjoy the moment. I even got a celebratory hug from Mrs Wheeler, but I fear my comment that Sonny had such a quiet game he could have pulled out a deckchair missed its mark. I'll make amends on Monday, when we also have the trophy to lift…

Travelling Tanners



OK, Leatherhead.  Let's get this done.

 

When the fixtures first came out, there were some obvious ones I looked out for.  Raynes Park Vale and Bognor, as I thought they were going to challenge for the title (yeah, I was wrong about that), but also this one.  It was on April, so I thought it would be a nice warm trip to the south coast (I was wrong about that too) and the obvious sound of the New Ground Klaxon.  Little did I know it could be the trip we clinch the title.

 

Three points is all we need to become champions.  On paper, Littlehampton provide the perfect opportunity to do that BUT factor in they are fighting to stay in the league and throw in a dose of complacency, and this could be a banana skin.

 

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Tanners 3 - 0 Ks

In reality, had we lost this game it wouldn't have changed the outcome of our season — with Westfield and Hanworth Villa playing on Monday, someone was dropping points — but it makes life a lot more comfortable going into this Easter weekend.

 

It was clear from the start: Leatherhead were up for this. We tore into Ks, making an absolute mockery of the form table, and got an early goal when Anas cushioned his volley across the keeper and into the net. 1–0. We'd seen an early goal on Saturday and still lost, but there were no signs of letting up. Not long after, Jordan was put through on goal and confidently chipped the keeper. 2–0.

 

Then came a moment that stunned every player and the 615 – 615 for a midweek game, by the way! – in attendance.  The ref heard some fruity language from Ks' number nine and produced a straight red. The rest of the half was played out by two teams of meek schoolboys, all terrified they'd be sent straight to detention as well.

 

With a man advantage it was inevitable Leatherhead would have more of the game. The score could have run away from Ks if not for the efforts of their keeper, who pulled off some magnificent saves. And 2–0 can be a dangerous scoreline, so when Sonny Wheeler produced a fingertip save it started to feel like all three points really were ours. Of course, the best thing for the nerves at 2–0 is a third goal — and George Hedley obliged, rising to meet a cross and finally spoiling their keeper's second-half performance. 3–0.

 

There it is then. Three points is all that's needed, and we can go looking for it to the tune of the New Ground Klaxon — and a trip to Littlehampton…

Ks are coming!

With last night's draw the maths has become a bit simpler.  Six points - two wins – and we win the league, and three of those may come tonight as we face Kingstonian.  

It won't be easy though as they come to us in better form than AFC Portchester did, with 15 points from six games; the same us.

 

Kick off at 7.45pm.  See you there!

Hayes & Yeading 0 - 0 Westfield

A large traveling contingent of four young Westfield supporters made the short hop to West London. On arrival they were shocked to discover that they had to pay an entry fee as home games are free to the majority of their supporters.

The referee appeared equally disinterested in this mid-table clash and couldn't be bothered to start until 19.50.

Hayes were keen to avenge the 7-0 embarrassment of 2 months ago in the reverse fixture, although since then Westfield have fallen down the form table alarmingly; resembling Fareham more than their Portsmouth area rivals.

Hayes had the better of the first half (tho' this deputy reporter is very biased) with the mild mannered and well spoken away 'keeper spilling shots and crosses on a couple of occasions. The first half missed the class of a Hogan or an Anas and remained goalless.

The 2nd half was very uneventful. Neither side seemed capable of even mustering up the dark arts and housery to liven things up.

On a mild evening there will be no need for the traditional yellow and black bobble hat to appear in the mealy-mouthed post-match interview.

The draw means that we need 6 more points to see football come home…

Tanners 2 - 3 AFC Portchester

I blame myself for this one. Prior to the game, Ian Selley was kind enough to present me with a signed squad photo for sponsoring a player. I (jokingly) chastised Ian for letting go of not one but two players I'd sponsored this season (Sam Ou Est De St Croix and Logan Coles) and this must have unsettled his pre-match preparations. Apologies.

 

Onto the game, and the large crowd didn't have to wait long for an opening goal. On the one-minute mark, Breckon was set free just left of goal and he placed his shot perfectly into the bottom corner. 1–0.

 

Any thoughts that the win was somehow inevitable were short-lived, as an AFC Portchester player was given far too much space to side-volley a shot powerfully down the middle of the goal. 1–1.

 

We did manage to restore the lead when Seb went full Ronaldinho and sent in a lofty cross to the far post — but it perfectly lobbed the keeper and nestled into the goal. 2–1, but there were signs we weren't quite at the races.

 

Second half, and AFC Portchester looked sharper all over the pitch. Ryan Pennery was certainly more alert when he pounced on a ball ricocheting around the six-yard box and bundled it in. 2–2. He then made space for himself and bent a shot in from just inside the area. 3–2.

 

Leatherhead changed it up, with Marcel Barrington coming on, and started to regain some control. He was at the centre of our best chance to equalise. A ball ballooned up in the air and dropped to him in the box with a clear sight of goal. It was one of those that seemed to take an eternity to come down, so he opted to head it towards the far post. In stormed Breckon, who improvised an attempt with his shoulder, but the ball — and he — crashed into the post.

 

So, after seven straight wins, we suffer defeat, but with a healthy gap of 11 points we can go into Wednesday's game without the need to panic…

AFC Portchester are coming!

After a very respectable second place, finish in the Tanners Quiz Night, I hope to take some of that confidence into today's game when we face fifth placed AFC Portchester.

Our guests have 11 points from their last six games, and are a worthy addition to the play-off places. I very much enjoyed the reverse fixture, with a healthy support that they had on a Tuesday night.

Kick off at 3pm. See you there!

Horndean 0 -3 Tanners

On arrival at the ground, any pre-match confidence I'd built up on the drive down suddenly disappeared as we were greeted by a windswept pitch and horizontal rain. Nothing saps the quality from a game more than gale-force wind. Walking into the bar, there was a notable absence of home supporters. We did strike up a conversation with a young striker who looked to have been ruled out. I looked at the size of him, then considered the size of Niran, and commented that he'd had a lucky escape.

 

One of the many quirks of the Horndean ground is that you can't watch the game from behind one of the goals. We found a corner that somehow created a wind vortex, with the rain sailing over our heads and into the faces of the supporters on the far side, and settled in to (hopefully) watch us take three points. When you're used to watching from behind the goal, everything looks a little different from the corner, but one sight remains familiar: Hogan running clear on goal. A through ball set him free and he confidently stroked it into the back of the net. Hogan has been known to run over and celebrate with the crowd, but on looking over and seeing three middle-aged men with their arms open wide to greet him, he suddenly appeared less confident and chose the warmer embrace of his teammates. I don't blame him. 1–0.

 

The rest of the half was a dogged affair, and we were pleased to get back into the clubhouse with a cup of soup.

 

For the first five to ten minutes of the second half, Horndean rallied and had a couple of chances. We survived the scare, made a few changes, and started to dominate again. Anas was influential with his pace down the right. He won the corner that was sent to the far post to Waters, who headed back across goal for Barrington to open his account with The Tanners. 2–0.

 

At 2–0 things felt comfortable, but what impressed me was that Leatherhead were still after more — chasing down balls and creating chances. Anas again won a corner from a cross, which arguably should have been a penalty when the defender stuck out a hand to block it. The Leo Sayer look-a-like lino did not make me feel like dancing when he failed to spot it, but we were dancing the night away eventually when Hedley headed home the resulting corner. 3–0.

 

A well-fought win and three points to keep us clear at the top of the table — a useful buffer as we face a very strong AFC Portchester on Saturday…

Travelling Tanners

A midweek trip to yet another Portsmouth-based club, as we look to secure three vital points.

Horndean sit in second to last place, and also lost 6-1 on the same night we beat RVP by the same score line.

Kick off at 7.45. See you there!

RPV are coming!

I love days like this - ironically , I'm away - when the footballing gods throw up a double header like this. All the events and tensions of the previous game roll seamlessly into the next… and there is plenty to roll over.

Hopefully everyone can turn up to this game and enjoy it for the game of football it is. Hopefully Leatherhead can be ready for a RPV backlash.

Kick off at 3pm. Good luck fellas!