Thursday, April 30, 2026

Westfield 1 - 1 AFC Portchester (7-6 on penalties)

Two glorious moments of high drama bookended a nervy game, where both sides seemed reluctant to fully commit until the dying moments — when it briefly looked like Portchester might pinch it.

 

On arrival at the ground, it looked like we were in for a sensational crowd, but on closer inspection many of the coaches were for a school trip. So, in reality, it was a more modest attendance — with a respectable number still making the journey up from the south coast.

 

The game didn’t take long to spark into life. In the opening minute, a cross-cum-shot flew in and beat the keeper (I couldn’t see if anyone got a final touch). Disaster for the visitors… until, from the restart, they lofted a ball into the box for their striker to run onto. He just beat the keeper to it and was brought down in the process. As we found away at Moneyfields, there’s no red card if there’s a genuine attempt to play the ball, so Portchester had to make do with the penalty — which they put away to make it 1–1 after just three minutes.

 

I joked about getting two goals in three minutes and it ending 1–1 — and that’s exactly how it transpired. Westfield did get a penalty on 75 minutes, but it was saved. Portchester applied real pressure in the last few minutes and throughout the six of added time, but it ended all square.

 

An interesting rule change meant extra time was scrapped. Strange, given this isn’t some poxy league cup but the culmination of a whole season, yet both sides seemed to accept their fate and set up for penalties pretty quickly.

 

The first two pairs were scored, and then Westfield missed — the ball clipped the bar, came down on the line, then clipped the keeper, who somehow reacted before it rolled in. There must be a statistic on this, but I always feel the penalty after a save is one of the hardest to take, and sure enough Portchester’s next was well saved.

 

The remaining penalties were all scored until we reached the eighth. I’d noticed the Portchester keeper had been creeping off his line and sensed it would catch up with him. When he saved again, the ref indicated it had to be retaken. The re-take was put away to make it 7–6 to Westfield, and then up stepped “Cal”…

 

Poor Cal. He’d taken dog’s abuse from the management team all game and could do no right. When the penalty was saved, he ran forwards — either to celebrate a bit too early (Portchester would have had to score next anyway) or to remonstrate. Either way, it earned him a yellow card, which promptly incensed the Westfield bench. They were convinced it was his second and he should be off, and tried desperately to intervene… only to pipe down when Cal then skied the ball into Sheerwater and Westfield won the game.

 

I wouldn’t have predicted this, but both sides from Portsmouth lost, setting up a final between Westfield and Hanworth Villa on Sunday…

Wednesday, April 29, 2026

Tanners 2 - 0 Bedfont Sports

Leatherhead walked out to their last guard of honour of the season — and to a crowd of over 700 — to play out this end-of-season game. With both sides having nothing to play for, it would have been forgivable to simply go through the motions, but an entertaining game was played out.

 

Leatherhead looked like they wanted to finish with a bang. Breckon was soon firing just over, and Waters clipped the bar with a powerful shot. Breckon opened the scoring on 22 minutes. Kennett won a free-kick on the edge of the box, and it was placed onto the head of the striker, who made no mistake. 1–0.

 

Leatherhead didn’t go without the odd scare. Sonny Wheeler was forced into a good save to keep us 1–0 at half-time.

 

The half-time team talk must have focused on the need to get Hogan his outright Golden Boot, because he played like a man possessed — with his teammates determined to help. Take Jordan Gallagher, once described as a great footballer but a horrible bloke by a former chairman: he was through on goal but, rather than take the shot, tried to feed Hogan for a tap-in.

 

On 75 minutes, The Lip’s Player of the Season, Sonny Wheeler, was subbed off so he could get the standing ovation he deserved. Not a dry eye in the house. Moments later, George Hedley rose — perfectly manicured stubble and all — to head home our second and make the three points safe. 2–0.

 

The game was a fitting end to our season, and the start of a night of celebration where others picked up their awards. Now all that remains is to sit back, with a cool beer, and watch the drama of the play-offs unfold…

Saturday, April 25, 2026

Bedfont Sports are coming!

True last day of the season stuff today as safe and relegation Bedfont Sports come to play already crown champions Leatherhead. Perhaps the biggest thing on offer today is the chance for Hogan to rightfully claim his golden boot. Kick off at 3pm. See you there!

Monday, April 20, 2026

Southall 2 - 4 Tanners

The green green grass of away.  Leatherhead ticked off three of their objectives with a 4-2 win at Southall.  Remain unbeaten away from home all season, tick.  Score 100 goals, tick.  Maintain Hogan’s run in for the Golden Boot, tick.

 

Anas got us on our way before South struck back with two goals.  Then up stepped Hogan.  First a goal on 35 minutes to draw level and then late in the game to put us 3-2 up.  Gorgeous George got our 100th goal on 90 minutes. 4-2.

 

Back to The Grove on Saturday, for the last game of the season and player presentations…

Saturday, April 18, 2026

Travelling Tanners

The last away game of the season and the final game to retain our unbeaten record on the road.  To do that we face sixth place Southall who have no chance of reaching the playoffs.

The game is played at Hayes & Yeading. Hopefully the sun may warm their bar up a bit.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  Good luck fellas.

Tuesday, April 14, 2026

Hendon 1 - 1 Tanners

My pre-match write-up included the rather smug line of “where were you at Hendon?”, as I suspected far fewer would travel to this one than, say, Littlehampton. It was a position I almost instantly regretted as the 1 hour 15-minute journey became 1 hour 45. Throw in a surprise road closure and it was a cool two hours. It was the kind of trip that needed, in addition to a cold pint, a pulsating passage of play to get me over it. Unfortunately, I had to wait until about the 55-minute mark to get it.

 

We looked livelier than we did against Met Police, but still not the side that tore into Ks, for example. Anas went just wide on 14 minutes, but other than that we were content to keep our hosts at bay.

 

Into the clubhouse at half-time — and to catch the Grand National. My mind cast back to last year, when we were already several goals down against Uxbridge. Another reminder that I’m still owed a pint.

 

Second half, and Nathan’s run and shot ten minutes in suggested we wanted to win this game. Hendon responded three minutes later with a powerful header. 0–1.

 

It looked like Cameron Black had a quick equaliser when he hit a fierce side-volley from near the penalty spot. It seemed destined for the back of the net, but somehow the keeper managed to get two firm hands on it and keep it out.

 

All looked lost as we entered the last of the seven minutes of added time, so I drifted towards the gate. A local shouted at the ref, asking why he’d added so much time for us “twats” (I think he meant “champions”), just as we launched our final attack. A cross was met by a Hendon defender, who could only loop it into the air. The ball fell to Barrington, who hit a powerful volley that the keeper couldn’t get to this time. 1–1.

 

Hendon slumped to the floor, while we celebrated keeping our away unbeaten run intact. The last test of that record comes on Saturday, when we travel to Southall.

Saturday, April 11, 2026

Travelling Tanners

The Champions travel to Hendon today as we look to sign off the season in style.  Let’s see how many of the 879 that were there Monday make this trip…

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!