Saturday, July 11, 2026

Dorking Wanderers are coming!

After a game I couldn’t see and then midweek commitments, The Lip! comes out of its annual hibernation for the start of the season. Today we host Dorking Wanderers in the Advertiser Trophy. A game where the away fans can enter, drink and stand where they like. The civilised half of this annual competition. Kick off at 3pm. See you there!

Tuesday, May 05, 2026

Westfield 0 - 2 Hanworth Villa

For two sides with average attendances in the low hundreds, it was a credit to them that nearly 1,500 turned up for this final. While impressive, as the ground offers very little in terracing it struggled to cope and it was difficult to find a comfortable spot.  By contrast, I was at the Combined Counties ground of Rusthall for their final with only 50 fewer and found it a lot more enjoyable.

 

The game itself didn’t burst into life as frenetically as it did on Wednesday — we had to wait a full 15 minutes for the first drama. A cross into the box was misjudged by a Westfield defender and the ball hit his raised arm, denying a Hanworth Villa player a chance on goal. The ref hesitated, then pointed to the spot and also brandished a yellow card. It was unclear whether the yellow was for the handball or for petulantly scuffing the penalty spot. The kick was calmly dispatched and the visitors were 1–0 up.

 

With bigger crowds come a greater number of idiots. A Hanworth Villa fan left his flag behind the goal his team were warming up in front of. He mistakenly believed it would be safe once the game kicked off and they were shooting the other way. A jaunty chorus of “we’ve got your flag” seemed like harmless banter, but the mood changed when “we’ve ripped your flag” started up and fans and security guards had to wade in and retrieve it. You stay classy, Westfield.

 

Ten minutes into the second half, the game swung well and truly in Hanworth’s favour as Westfield were reduced to ten men. The player booked for the penalty incident had already survived a poor tackle — and a warning — but then brought down a player advancing on goal. Ten minutes after that it was all sewn up when a low ball into the box bounced around before a Hanworth player prodded it past the Westfield keeper. 2–0.

 

Suddenly we were surrounded by non-league experts as they discussed what league Hanworth — and a number of other clubs — would be in next season. The general consensus was the would be in “the Southern”… along with Chertsey, and something about Chichester, with it all to be decided on 15 May.Strangely, no one mentioned Leatherhead…

 

Unsurprisingly, no one mentioned Westfield, as they were being completely battered by now. Hanworth should have scored two more in the closing minutes with two clear chances. I can only assume that, with a large sandpit in each goalmouth, the players forgot they were playing football and thought they were now competing in the long jump.

 

The full-time whistle brought a mini pitch invasion and well-earned celebrations from Hanworth Villa’s players and management. That just left Westfield — cocky and ungracious in November, distraught in May — to trudge off and eat some humble pie. Shame.

Thursday, April 30, 2026

Westfield 1 - 1 AFC Portchester (7-6 on penalties)

Two glorious moments of high drama bookended a nervy game, where both sides seemed reluctant to fully commit until the dying moments — when it briefly looked like Portchester might pinch it.

 

On arrival at the ground, it looked like we were in for a sensational crowd, but on closer inspection many of the coaches were for a school trip. So, in reality, it was a more modest attendance — with a respectable number still making the journey up from the south coast.

 

The game didn’t take long to spark into life. In the opening minute, a cross-cum-shot flew in and beat the keeper (I couldn’t see if anyone got a final touch). Disaster for the visitors… until, from the restart, they lofted a ball into the box for their striker to run onto. He just beat the keeper to it and was brought down in the process. As we found away at Moneyfields, there’s no red card if there’s a genuine attempt to play the ball, so Portchester had to make do with the penalty — which they put away to make it 1–1 after just three minutes.

 

I joked about getting two goals in three minutes and it ending 1–1 — and that’s exactly how it transpired. Westfield did get a penalty on 75 minutes, but it was saved. Portchester applied real pressure in the last few minutes and throughout the six of added time, but it ended all square.

 

An interesting rule change meant extra time was scrapped. Strange, given this isn’t some poxy league cup but the culmination of a whole season, yet both sides seemed to accept their fate and set up for penalties pretty quickly.

 

The first two pairs were scored, and then Westfield missed — the ball clipped the bar, came down on the line, then clipped the keeper, who somehow reacted before it rolled in. There must be a statistic on this, but I always feel the penalty after a save is one of the hardest to take, and sure enough Portchester’s next was well saved.

 

The remaining penalties were all scored until we reached the eighth. I’d noticed the Portchester keeper had been creeping off his line and sensed it would catch up with him. When he saved again, the ref indicated it had to be retaken. The re-take was put away to make it 7–6 to Westfield, and then up stepped “Cal”…

 

Poor Cal. He’d taken dog’s abuse from the management team all game and could do no right. When the penalty was saved, he ran forwards — either to celebrate a bit too early (Portchester would have had to score next anyway) or to remonstrate. Either way, it earned him a yellow card, which promptly incensed the Westfield bench. They were convinced it was his second and he should be off, and tried desperately to intervene… only to pipe down when Cal then skied the ball into Sheerwater and Westfield won the game.

 

I wouldn’t have predicted this, but both sides from Portsmouth lost, setting up a final between Westfield and Hanworth Villa on Sunday…

Wednesday, April 29, 2026

Tanners 2 - 0 Bedfont Sports

Leatherhead walked out to their last guard of honour of the season — and to a crowd of over 700 — to play out this end-of-season game. With both sides having nothing to play for, it would have been forgivable to simply go through the motions, but an entertaining game was played out.

 

Leatherhead looked like they wanted to finish with a bang. Breckon was soon firing just over, and Waters clipped the bar with a powerful shot. Breckon opened the scoring on 22 minutes. Kennett won a free-kick on the edge of the box, and it was placed onto the head of the striker, who made no mistake. 1–0.

 

Leatherhead didn’t go without the odd scare. Sonny Wheeler was forced into a good save to keep us 1–0 at half-time.

 

The half-time team talk must have focused on the need to get Hogan his outright Golden Boot, because he played like a man possessed — with his teammates determined to help. Take Jordan Gallagher, once described as a great footballer but a horrible bloke by a former chairman: he was through on goal but, rather than take the shot, tried to feed Hogan for a tap-in.

 

On 75 minutes, The Lip’s Player of the Season, Sonny Wheeler, was subbed off so he could get the standing ovation he deserved. Not a dry eye in the house. Moments later, George Hedley rose — perfectly manicured stubble and all — to head home our second and make the three points safe. 2–0.

 

The game was a fitting end to our season, and the start of a night of celebration where others picked up their awards. Now all that remains is to sit back, with a cool beer, and watch the drama of the play-offs unfold…

Saturday, April 25, 2026

Bedfont Sports are coming!

True last day of the season stuff today as safe and relegation Bedfont Sports come to play already crown champions Leatherhead. Perhaps the biggest thing on offer today is the chance for Hogan to rightfully claim his golden boot. Kick off at 3pm. See you there!

Monday, April 20, 2026

Southall 2 - 4 Tanners

The green green grass of away.  Leatherhead ticked off three of their objectives with a 4-2 win at Southall.  Remain unbeaten away from home all season, tick.  Score 100 goals, tick.  Maintain Hogan’s run in for the Golden Boot, tick.

 

Anas got us on our way before South struck back with two goals.  Then up stepped Hogan.  First a goal on 35 minutes to draw level and then late in the game to put us 3-2 up.  Gorgeous George got our 100th goal on 90 minutes. 4-2.

 

Back to The Grove on Saturday, for the last game of the season and player presentations…

Saturday, April 18, 2026

Travelling Tanners

The last away game of the season and the final game to retain our unbeaten record on the road.  To do that we face sixth place Southall who have no chance of reaching the playoffs.

The game is played at Hayes & Yeading. Hopefully the sun may warm their bar up a bit.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  Good luck fellas.