Monday, April 20, 2026

Southall 2 - 4 Tanners

The green green grass of away.  Leatherhead ticked off three of their objectives with a 4-2 win at Southall.  Remain unbeaten away from home all season, tick.  Score 100 goals, tick.  Maintain Hogan’s run in for the Golden Boot, tick.

 

Anas got us on our way before South struck back with two goals.  Then up stepped Hogan.  First a goal on 35 minutes to draw level and then late in the game to put us 3-2 up.  Gorgeous George got our 100th goal on 90 minutes. 4-2.

 

Back to The Grove on Saturday, for the last game of the season and player presentations…

Saturday, April 18, 2026

Travelling Tanners

The last away game of the season and the final game to retain our unbeaten record on the road.  To do that we face sixth place Southall who have no chance of reaching the playoffs.

The game is played at Hayes & Yeading. Hopefully the sun may warm their bar up a bit.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  Good luck fellas.

Tuesday, April 14, 2026

Hendon 1 - 1 Tanners

My pre-match write-up included the rather smug line of “where were you at Hendon?”, as I suspected far fewer would travel to this one than, say, Littlehampton. It was a position I almost instantly regretted as the 1 hour 15-minute journey became 1 hour 45. Throw in a surprise road closure and it was a cool two hours. It was the kind of trip that needed, in addition to a cold pint, a pulsating passage of play to get me over it. Unfortunately, I had to wait until about the 55-minute mark to get it.

 

We looked livelier than we did against Met Police, but still not the side that tore into Ks, for example. Anas went just wide on 14 minutes, but other than that we were content to keep our hosts at bay.

 

Into the clubhouse at half-time — and to catch the Grand National. My mind cast back to last year, when we were already several goals down against Uxbridge. Another reminder that I’m still owed a pint.

 

Second half, and Nathan’s run and shot ten minutes in suggested we wanted to win this game. Hendon responded three minutes later with a powerful header. 0–1.

 

It looked like Cameron Black had a quick equaliser when he hit a fierce side-volley from near the penalty spot. It seemed destined for the back of the net, but somehow the keeper managed to get two firm hands on it and keep it out.

 

All looked lost as we entered the last of the seven minutes of added time, so I drifted towards the gate. A local shouted at the ref, asking why he’d added so much time for us “twats” (I think he meant “champions”), just as we launched our final attack. A cross was met by a Hendon defender, who could only loop it into the air. The ball fell to Barrington, who hit a powerful volley that the keeper couldn’t get to this time. 1–1.

 

Hendon slumped to the floor, while we celebrated keeping our away unbeaten run intact. The last test of that record comes on Saturday, when we travel to Southall.

Saturday, April 11, 2026

Travelling Tanners

The Champions travel to Hendon today as we look to sign off the season in style.  Let’s see how many of the 879 that were there Monday make this trip…

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Tuesday, April 07, 2026

Tanners 1 - 1 Met Police

This was always likely to happen. After the celebrations of Saturday, it felt like the mind was willing, but the body was weak — we moved the ball sharply enough, but without any real penetration or those runs that turn possession into chances. Off the pitch, too, it was a little jaded. With nearly 900 in attendance, many seemed to be there for the trophy lift, with the football a mere sideshow as people chatted away as if they were at the cricket.

 

In the first half Sonny Wheeler was forced into a good save, but very little else happened, and we went in at half-time at 0–0.

 

The second half was spearheaded by a quadruple change, and it gave us more energy going forward. Breckon took a cross to feet and placed his shot just wide five minutes after the restart. Had that gone in, it might have crushed the spirits of our guests, but they fought on and got the opener when we lost the ball deep in our own half. It looked like we’d survived the initial attack, but a well-placed strike found the far corner. 0–1.

 

All of a sudden there was a blemish on the cup — a greasy fingerprint that would be hard to buff off in the photos — so we pressed for an equaliser. Eventually it came, late in added time, when Barrington fired a powerful shot that could only be parried into the path of Jordan. From a tight angle he found the back of the net, sending the Met Police to their knees in disappointment. 1–1. A minute later we had a throw-in and, with Barrington, sent the long ball, but it was too close to the ‘keeper and any fairytale finish was lost.

 

Then we moved into the ceremony, with a plinth erected on the halfway line. It was great to be there when the cup was finally lifted. I say finally, because each player introduction felt like it took an age — I forgot whether this was for winning the league or whether we’d drifted into July and somehow won the Advertiser Trophy.

 

All in all, a good day. Such a good day, I realised about 30 minutes after getting home that I couldn’t find my cycle helmet. I still don’t know whether I left it at the ground and cycled home without it, or whether I’ve misplaced it somewhere around the house…

 

Onto the weekend, when we look to get back to winning ways and try to work on a couple more milestones — 100 goals, and Hogan’s Golden Boot.

Monday, April 06, 2026

Met Police and the Trophy are coming!

Smugness levels get to be dialled up to 11 today, as we face Met Police after clinging the title on Saturday. Hopefully the Met Police will give our players a guard of honour in full uniform before running in to get changed. Hopefully our players can shake off their hangovers as there are still targets to aim for. Hogan’s Golden Boot, 100 points and we need to be professional for the benefits of clubs like Littlehampton fighting at the bottom. Kickoff at 3 pm. See you there!

Sunday, April 05, 2026

Littlehampton 0 - 2 Tanners

Leatherhead turned up to this one — both on and off the pitch. With an attendance of over 700, I'd estimate 500 could quite easily have come down the A24 to see us get over the line. If the players had any doubts about the size of the occasion, they certainly didn't once they walked down that long, fenced tunnel with enthusiastic — and perhaps slightly tipsy — supporters packed either side.

 

The first half didn't live up to the hype. Mark Waters hit the bar with a header but, on the whole, it was an even affair.

 

Second half, and the league was won. Our campaign started with Breckon opening the scoring at Westfield, so it was fitting that his goals delivered the three points we needed. Both were headers. The first came after a mazy run down the right, and a looping header beat the keeper. The second came from a corner, and his deft near-post header beat him again from a tight angle.

 

The game seemed to race by and soon we were in injury time, pleading for the final whistle. When it came, many had the restraint not to run on the pitch. The first to do so was a well-known supporter — and his son, who I don't think I've seen at a game for 10 or 20 years. I feel a new book coming on.

 

We then joined the players and management team to enjoy the moment. I even got a celebratory hug from Mrs Wheeler, but I fear my comment that Sonny had such a quiet game he could have pulled out a deckchair missed its mark. I'll make amends on Monday, when we also have the trophy to lift…