Tanners 3 - 0 AFC Croydon Athletic

With an FA Cup tie ahead and good weather forecast, I decided to cycle to the game yesterday, spending a little time beforehand cleaning and oiling the chain. It proved a fitting start to the afternoon: my bike purred smoothly up and over Ranmore Common, and Leatherhead approached the game in much the same way — quietly, efficiently, and always in control.

 

The last time our visitors were here, I leaned heavily into the Stormzy references, but I resisted the temptation this time as there was no sign whatsoever of him or co-owner Zaha. They did not even have a shirt sponsor, which felt slightly odd given the profile of the club’s owners.

 

As for the game itself, Leatherhead struck early. Dicko let fly from around 20 yards out on the left, and with the goalkeeper overcommitted to covering his far post, the ball flew in through the near one. 0-1.

 

AFC Croydon Athletic’s keeper, Amadou, played for Leatherhead not so long ago, and I did wonder if he still had a soft spot for us. He certainly seemed to have a soft spot in his gloves, because in the second half Murphy hit a powerful effort straight at him, only for it to squirm through his hands and drift into the far corner. 2-0.

 

We thought we had a third when The Lip’s Barrington launched a long throw that bounced in via the far post. Cam Black celebrated as though he had got the touch, and it initially looked as though the referee had given it. Somehow, though, the assistant intervened, and apparently as he had not seen a touch through a crowd of players it was enough to rule it out.

 

The AFC Croydon Athletic manager’s post-match interview suggested the better team lost and that his side had controlled the game. Personally, I suspect that was all part of the plan. Leatherhead were happy to let them have the ball in safe areas and then catch them on the break. That was certainly how it played out in the closing minutes, when Hall was sent clean through the middle and calmly slotted away his one-on-one chance. You certainly cannot blame the keeper for that one.

 

Safely through to the second qualifying round, and now a trip to Aveley on Saturday awaits…

AFC Croydon Athletic are coming!

FA Cup action returns as we welcome AFC Croydon Athletic to The Grove today.  We last played this side two years ago was in a friendly where we drew 1-1 and I perhaps over did it with the Stormzy references.

 

Our guests play in the Isthmian South East division and sit just outside the play-off places with two wins and two losses.

 

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Tanners 2 - 3 Dulwich Hamlet

Leatherhead’s players could not match the speed and accuracy of the bar service at the new pop-up bar as they succumbed to their second home defeat of the season.

 

The contrast between home and away defensive performances remains a growing concern. Eight goals conceded in three home games compared with just three away tells its own story.

 

The original linesman appeared to have chosen a village fair over an afternoon at Fetcham Grove and, much like one of our supporters, dropped out at the last minute. Thankfully, a late replacement stepped in — a chap resembling Brian Murphy, who saved the day. He was not exactly overworked, though, and his main contribution was to rule out one of our goals for offside. For the rest of the match, he mostly seemed to wait for the referee’s decision and then agree with it.

 

Leatherhead started the brighter side, but after Dulwich had offered very little for the opening 25 minutes, they were handed a soft penalty. One of their players was judged to have been brought down by Sonny, even though the ball had already gone out for a corner.

 

That left Leatherhead 0-1 down at half-time, which must at least have made it easier for the absent to focus on the craft stalls and the “better than ever” dog show.

 

The second half began with Leatherhead firing on all cylinders. Nathan turned back the clock to last season with a free-kick whipped into the bottom corner, leaving Hudson Sands — on loan from Chelsea and contracted until 2029 — rooted to the spot. If Alonso watches the highlights tonight, he may be tempted to loan him to Westfield at Step 8 instead.

 

Leatherhead were well on top when Kofi’s deflected shot put them into the lead. Then it all unravelled. Dulwich introduced five substitutes, all with pace and power, while Leatherhead looked to be running out of legs. Two of those subs went on to score — the equaliser arriving on 71 minutes when Sonny was lobbed, and the winner in the 92nd minute when a cross was not dealt with.

 

Ten points from the first six games is probably a couple fewer than performances have deserved.

 

FA Cup action follows next week but, more importantly, does anyone know who won the “Best Young Dog Handler” award at Peaslake Fair..?

Dulwich Hamlet are coming!

Old friends , Dulwich Hamlet travel to visit us today, for a Bank Holiday fixture that could see a big crowd at The Grove. While it’s been eight years since we played them in the league, it was only two years ago we beat 1-0 in the FA Cup. Kick off at 3pm. See you there!

Eastbourne Borough 0 - 1 Tanners

After last week’s 4-1 loss, I drove to this game with a sense of dread, fearing Leatherhead fans might have to come to terms with two grim realities: a world without Dolly Parton — although Stretch’s slurred tribute made it sound as though he would always love Joey Barton — and what it feels like to lose away from home. Luckily, Leatherhead approached this one with a cup of ambition and snatched all three points at the end.

 

Leatherhead rode their luck, though. Despite having plenty of the ball and looking dangerous down the right wing, it was Eastbourne who clattered the woodwork twice — once in the first half from a powerful header, and then again in the second half from a looping shot.

 

Then, in the second half, the game swung in our favour. It was the referee’s first game at this level, and I thought he did rather well by letting the game flow and certainly not falling for the “touch and flop” antics of the Eastbourne defence. None more so than their captain, who was becoming increasingly frustrated that throwing himself to the floor was not bringing the reward he was used to.

 

He was eventually shown red after two quick yellow cards. The first was a nailed-on booking for a late tackle. For the second, he tried to be cute by bringing our player down from behind — not with a tackle, but by “accidentally” tripping over and rolling into his legs. The referee did the brave thing and sent him off, then heard language he probably would not expect to hear while teaching PE.

 

With the extra man, we pressed for a winner, and just like last season, it arrived in the closing minutes. A low cross from the right was helped on at the near post by The Lip’s Barrington, with Kofi on hand to bundle it in at the far post. 1-0.

 

Injury time seemed to last forever, but full-time finally came, and the players celebrated as though they knew they had come through a real battle. It was a huge three points that lifted us into fourth, but tough opposition awaits in the shape of our old friends Dulwich Hamlet tomorrow…

Travelling Tanners

Today we make the long trip Eastbourne Borough, where we meet a rival with exactly the same points, goals scored and conceded as us after four games.  An away draw, anyone?

 

For me the New Ground Klaxon sounds.  For some, they would have been here in 1997 when they beat us 2-1 in the FA Cup under the name Langney Sports.

 

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Tanners 1 - 4 Maldon & Tiptree

Today was a sobering slap in the face for Leatherhead. After going three games unbeaten, perhaps we had started to get a little carried away, but this was a heavy defeat against a side just as new to the league as we are.

 

Leatherhead looked surprisingly flat compared with the performances we had seen so far. We had plenty of the ball but did little with it. The game was defined by the overhit cross. Time after time, we worked the ball into promising positions, only for the final delivery to sail over the heads of any Leatherhead player hoping to get on the end of it.

 

Then, on the stroke of half-time, we conceded. A simple ball to the far post was met with a side volley and, despite Sonny’s attempt to save it, the ball crept over the line at the far post. 0-1.

 

The second half looked as though it was going the same way until we made a few changes. Kofi’s introduction allowed Hogan to play in a freer role and suddenly we sparked into life.

 

On 54 minutes, Hogan received the ball on the edge of the box, shaped to shoot, then slipped in Anas, who made no mistake to level the score at 1-1. From there, we battered the visitors, with shots going agonisingly wide and one effort blocked on the line.

 

Malden & Tiptree broke away and sent a lofted ball into the box, which was nodded down into the path of an unmarked player and powerfully smashed home on 77 minutes. 1-2. But we still had time and momentum to find an equaliser and perhaps even win it. Then it all fell apart.

 

On 89 minutes, they scored a third. I do not remember too much about it, as I was distracted by a butterfly on the pitch. I will never forget the fourth goal, though. Jackson was around 30 to 40 yards from goal when he received the ball out wide.

 

Inexplicably, he played a lofted no-look pass back towards Sonny, when, had he played a look-pass, he might have noticed Sonny was nowhere near his goal at the time. Given today’s crossing performance, any other Leatherhead pass would probably have sailed harmlessly over for a corner, but this perfectly measured effort lobbed the retreating Sonny, landed on the line, and bounced into the net. 1-4.

 

So, the first defeat of the season is on the board, and now we have seven days to dust ourselves down before the Bank Holiday fixtures against Eastbourne Borough and Dulwich Hamlet.

Maldon & Tiptree are coming!

When I see this club’s name I think of British hotels and small pots of jam, but cannot think of a footballing reason we know them.  Partly as they only became Maldon & Tiptree in 2010 and prior to that they played in the Isthmian League Division One North until they won their league last year.

 

Our guests had a tough start to their Premier campaign, losing 6-0 to Dulwich, but bounced back with a win against Averley (only to then go on and lose to Dartford).

 

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!