Tanners 2-2 Ramsgate (won 6-5 after lots of saved pens)

For some reason the Ramsgate fans turned up very angry. Maybe it’s because they no longer have a ferry route, maybe it’s because they haven’t become a boujee costal chic town like Deal and Whitstable, or maybe it’s simply because we keep beating them. Who knows?!  

This became apparent when a delightful young Ramsgate supporter said to the linesman whilst he was checking the net before the game “give us some f*cking decisions you c*nt.” Not long later after he was ejected following a bizarre scene when the official security guy turned his cap round and started boxing with him. 

We started very brightly - keen to put Tuesday’s sluggish start behind us - and the prolific Tom Dryer curled a beauty into top bins to put us into an early lead. We continued to look comfortable throughout the game and looked to have sealed the deal when The Lip’s Marcel Barrington smashed the ball into the net beating the keeper at the near post. The keeper must have had déjà vu as he succumbed to the same fate during the opening game of the season (credit to Ethan for reminding me and the keeper). 

We then appeared to relax and went a bit Leather-heady. The ref must have been keen to practise officiating penalties as started giving everything to Ramsgate. He waved away a blatant handball for a penalty, fell for the Ramsgate keeper feigning a head injury when he was out of position, ignored a push on Dryer which would have been a free kick outside the box, and allowed Sonny to be elbowed in the head. 

The ref eventually got his way as Ramsgate swarmed all over us scoring on 80’ and 90’. For the first time in living memory, we weren’t allowed behind the goal where the penalties were being taken as the Ramsgate fans were still very angry. In one last gesture of Ramsgate anger their keeper scuffed up the penalty spot to receive a booking. 

Then followed the strangest of penalty shoot outs. Four successful penalties out of 5 were followed by 4 of the lamest penalties you will ever see. All were either missed or were passed gently to the keeper. 

Finally, The Lip’s Marcel Barrington and Kemall decided they’d had enough of this sh*t and scored penalties 9 and 10 to send us into the next round. 

Surrey Senior Cup holders and National League Farnham visit us on Tuesday in a stinker of a draw but a chance for the lads to pitch themselves against higher league opposition. We beat them at home in their promotion season when their (now) gaffer was sent off.

I believe the mighty Tanners have now won our last 4 penalty shoot outs. Don’t test us Farnham!

Ramsgate are coming!

The FA Sodding Trophy rears its head again, with the visit of Ramsgate.  A side that is looking for revenge for our opening game league win and desperate to avoid the 4-1 thrashing they received in the same competition at our place, last year.  Since we played in the league, Ramsgate are only two points behind us in eighth place.

 

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas!

Three Bridges 3 - 3 Tanners

Looking at the league table, I confidently told someone in the bar before the game that we would score three goals. I had no idea we would need all three just to rescue a point.

 

I also have no idea why we started so badly. Were we hungover from the battle at Ks? Did we take our hosts for granted? All I know is that by the time I’d walked from one end of the ground to the other, Three Bridges had scored. Again, I have no idea how it was scored — I’d only reached the corner flag and had my back to the action.

 

There was no mistaking the second goal. We had the ball in midfield and ran towards our own goal while under pressure. That pressure turned into Three Bridges possession, and their player made space to shoot from distance and beat Sonny with a spectacular effort. Eight minutes in, and it was 0-2.

 

Hogan had already missed one or two good chances before he got his goal. Anas rattled the crossbar, but it fell kindly to Hogan, who powerfully placed the ball into the far bottom corner from close range. 1-2. We were back in it — until five minutes later, when Three Bridges restored their lead with a breakaway goal. 1-3 at half-time.

 

Selley didn’t muck around and made a triple substitution, sending on both of the new signings, Date and Dryer, as well as Kofi. It was not an instant success, as we were trying to play with a combination of new players and a new formation. The shape was now three at the back, with two advanced wide players instead of full-backs. That left pockets of space in the corners, which Three Bridges exploited regularly, and had they worn the same shooting boots as they did in the first half, it could have been a massacre. We rode our luck.

 

The referee did not really affect the game, but he did have an annoying habit of counting down for a throw-in or for the ‘keeper to release the ball with a loud “KEEPER 1 … KEEPER 2 …” rather than the more traditional unit of time, “Mississippi”, and so appeared to award almost twice as much time. As I said, it didn’t change things, but it was a source of further frustration.

 

Then, with 10 minutes to go, Dryer showed why he was worthy of finally playing for a big club. His first shot came from just inside the box, took a deflection, and beat the ‘keeper. 2-3. If his opener was fortunate, there was nothing lucky about his second. He received the ball on the left of the box and turned quickly — you could even say he was a spin Dryer — before firing a powerful shot into the roof of the net. 3-3. Limbs!

 

Now, fair play to Three Bridges. There were still 12 minutes to go, including stoppages, and many teams we will face would have resorted to housery, but not Three Bridges. They pushed to restore the lead and gave us some real heart-in-mouth moments, but we held on and even created a bit of late drama ourselves.

 

The unbeaten away record survives by the skin of its teeth before we head into the weekend and the start of the FA Sodding Trophy…

Ks 0 - 1 Tanners

This was a rare game where the “home” supporters had a trickier journey than the away ones. The only person to endure a more difficult trip was The Lip’s Marcel Barrington, who turned up at Ashford United in Kent believing Ks ground-shared there. Give it a season, Marcel, and you may yet be right…

 

Onto the game, and it soon became clear Ks had not come out to play football so much as foul their way into the next round. Braiden Hall was the first victim and had to be subbed off after just 13 minutes. Then, on the half-hour, the referee effectively gave them the green light to carry on. Dickson went in for a tackle and was slightly late, but the referee appeared to allow play to continue; then, as the ball fell to Mark, he received a heavy challenge with a high elbow. Despite the blood now flowing from his forehead, the referee pulled it back to the original foul and only awarded Dickson the yellow.

 

Combined with dramatic yelping whenever they were touched, Ks had the better of the first half and hit the crossbar twice, but we survived and went in to regroup at 0-0.

 

The second half saw a Leatherhead side more prepared for the dirty tactics, and we took the lead. The referee awarded us a free kick on the edge of the box — having ignored what looked like a penalty in a similar area moments earlier — and Price smashed it into the top corner after the ball had bounced around the area for a while. 1-0.

 

Then it all kicked off. Similar to the incident last weekend, a Ks player came to challenge Price but met him instead with two raised hands and a forceful shove to the ground. A melee erupted and, in the middle of it, Ks’ No. 8 threw a punch at Kennett. One assistant saw it and the referee produced a red card. The other assistant then told the referee that Kennett had done something in the build-up and so he was shown a yellow. That booking meant that, when Kennett was later involved in another foul, the entire Ks bench ran onto the pitch trying to get him sent off.

 

Strangely, going 1-0 down finally persuaded Ks to start playing football and, despite being a man down, they continued to play out from the back in a style that would have made Russell Martin proud. Most of the time the ball was picked off and we could attack again, but there were moments when they looked dangerous.

 

There was still time for yet more controversy as both teams ended up seeing red. Hogan had something brewing with their No. 16 and, in a challenge for the ball in the left corner, was robustly shoved off it by the bigger player. As the ball moved on, Hogan chased and gave his adversary a reminder that he was still there, and the defender reacted. He got Nathan in a neck lock, as if he were Hulk Hogan, and wrestled him to the ground. You could still see the marks on his neck five minutes later. Another bout of handbags followed, and the Ks ‘keeper sprinted to the halfway line, got involved with Cam, went down theatrically, and so our defender also saw red.

 

It was now nine v ten, and Ks won a free kick on the edge of the box in stoppage time, but the effort sailed high and wide. The final whistle blew, another fight broke out, and a Ks child allegedly ran off with one of our footballs. All of that somehow distracted from the one thing that mattered: we are through to the next round.

 

Onto Tuesday, when we play Three Bridges, who refreshingly play in Three Bridges.

Travelling Tanners

There is no day more exciting than FA Cup Day, as we travel to our old friends Kingstonian.  This will mean a trip to Ashford as that is what they call home this year.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

AFC Whyteleafe are coming!

AFC Whyteleafe, fresh from their 4-0 win at the weekend, come to The Grove for tonight’s league fixture. Our guests will look to try and keep themselves out of the relegation zone, while we hope to cement ourselves in the playoff positions. I’ll be flying in from Estonia, but unlikely to make it to the game in time. Kick off at 7.45pm. Good luck fellas.

Aveley 1 - 2 Tanners

The away form of the mighty travelling Tanners continued with a fantastic hardworking team performance on the wrong side of the Dartford Tunnel (check that you paid the toll). On the other hand the referee was dreadful. I can’t remember ever seeing a player run 30 yards off the ball to elbow one of our players to the ground and only receive a yellow. He needs to get a new hobby, or work his way back down the levels so he can referee at Westfield. The newish Aveley ground - built in 2017 - is impressive if a little sterile and lacking in character. Talking of sterile - after all the high fives at the end of the game - Carex products will be in high demand. Aveley started the game strongly and got an early goal after 5 minutes. After this shock we settled into the game and started to create some chances. Anas - who is now joint top league goal scorer with 6 - pounced on a loose ball at close range to send us into the break on level terms. It was a dogged second half as well, but better than arriving in Tallinn 2 days later than planned due to broken Britain’s ATC systems. This Tanners side has great attitude and fitness and it paid off on 67’ when Anas slid the ball past the keeper for the winner. Despite Aveley pressure we hung on to bag all 3 points. Onto Tuesday and the chance to win a league game at home v Whyteleafe. Vamos!!

Travelling Tanners

Leatherhead make the trip to Aveley today, in a close game as they sit above us on goal difference.

Meanwhile, I get to sing “oh, Leva, Leva. Leva, leva, leva Levadia in Estonia.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.   Good luck fellas!

Tanners 3 - 0 AFC Croydon Athletic

With an FA Cup tie ahead and good weather forecast, I decided to cycle to the game yesterday, spending a little time beforehand cleaning and oiling the chain. It proved a fitting start to the afternoon: my bike purred smoothly up and over Ranmore Common, and Leatherhead approached the game in much the same way — quietly, efficiently, and always in control.

 

The last time our visitors were here, I leaned heavily into the Stormzy references, but I resisted the temptation this time as there was no sign whatsoever of him or co-owner Zaha. They did not even have a shirt sponsor, which felt slightly odd given the profile of the club’s owners.

 

As for the game itself, Leatherhead struck early. Dicko let fly from around 20 yards out on the left, and with the goalkeeper overcommitted to covering his far post, the ball flew in through the near one. 0-1.

 

AFC Croydon Athletic’s keeper, Amadou, played for Leatherhead not so long ago, and I did wonder if he still had a soft spot for us. He certainly seemed to have a soft spot in his gloves, because in the second half Murphy hit a powerful effort straight at him, only for it to squirm through his hands and drift into the far corner. 2-0.

 

We thought we had a third when The Lip’s Barrington launched a long throw that bounced in via the far post. Cam Black celebrated as though he had got the touch, and it initially looked as though the referee had given it. Somehow, though, the assistant intervened, and apparently as he had not seen a touch through a crowd of players it was enough to rule it out.

 

The AFC Croydon Athletic manager’s post-match interview suggested the better team lost and that his side had controlled the game. Personally, I suspect that was all part of the plan. Leatherhead were happy to let them have the ball in safe areas and then catch them on the break. That was certainly how it played out in the closing minutes, when Hall was sent clean through the middle and calmly slotted away his one-on-one chance. You certainly cannot blame the keeper for that one.

 

Safely through to the second qualifying round, and now a trip to Aveley on Saturday awaits…