Bedfont Sports are coming!

True last day of the season stuff today as safe and relegation Bedfont Sports come to play already crown champions Leatherhead. Perhaps the biggest thing on offer today is the chance for Hogan to rightfully claim his golden boot. Kick off at 3pm. See you there!

Southall 2 - 4 Tanners

The green green grass of away.  Leatherhead ticked off three of their objectives with a 4-2 win at Southall.  Remain unbeaten away from home all season, tick.  Score 100 goals, tick.  Maintain Hogan’s run in for the Golden Boot, tick.

 

Anas got us on our way before South struck back with two goals.  Then up stepped Hogan.  First a goal on 35 minutes to draw level and then late in the game to put us 3-2 up.  Gorgeous George got our 100^th goal on 90 minutes. 4-2.

 

Back to The Grove on Saturday, for the last game of the season and player presentations…

Travelling Tanners

The last away game of the season and the final game to retain our unbeaten record on the road.  To do that we face sixth place Southall who have no chance of reaching the playoffs.

The game is played at Hayes & Yeading. Hopefully the sun may warm their bar up a bit.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  Good luck fellas.

Hendon 1 - 1 Tanners

My pre-match write-up included the rather smug line of “where were you at Hendon?”, as I suspected far fewer would travel to this one than, say, Littlehampton. It was a position I almost instantly regretted as the 1 hour 15-minute journey became 1 hour 45. Throw in a surprise road closure and it was a cool two hours. It was the kind of trip that needed, in addition to a cold pint, a pulsating passage of play to get me over it. Unfortunately, I had to wait until about the 55-minute mark to get it.

 

We looked livelier than we did against Met Police, but still not the side that tore into Ks, for example. Anas went just wide on 14 minutes, but other than that we were content to keep our hosts at bay.

 

Into the clubhouse at half-time — and to catch the Grand National. My mind cast back to last year, when we were already several goals down against Uxbridge. Another reminder that I’m still owed a pint.

 

Second half, and Nathan’s run and shot ten minutes in suggested we wanted to win this game. Hendon responded three minutes later with a powerful header. 0–1.

 

It looked like Cameron Black had a quick equaliser when he hit a fierce side-volley from near the penalty spot. It seemed destined for the back of the net, but somehow the keeper managed to get two firm hands on it and keep it out.

 

All looked lost as we entered the last of the seven minutes of added time, so I drifted towards the gate. A local shouted at the ref, asking why he’d added so much time for us “twats” (I think he meant “champions”), just as we launched our final attack. A cross was met by a Hendon defender, who could only loop it into the air. The ball fell to Barrington, who hit a powerful volley that the keeper couldn’t get to this time. 1–1.

 

Hendon slumped to the floor, while we celebrated keeping our away unbeaten run intact. The last test of that record comes on Saturday, when we travel to Southall.

Travelling Tanners

The Champions travel to Hendon today as we look to sign off the season in style.  Let’s see how many of the 879 that were there Monday make this trip…

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Tanners 1 - 1 Met Police

This was always likely to happen. After the celebrations of Saturday, it felt like the mind was willing, but the body was weak — we moved the ball sharply enough, but without any real penetration or those runs that turn possession into chances. Off the pitch, too, it was a little jaded. With nearly 900 in attendance, many seemed to be there for the trophy lift, with the football a mere sideshow as people chatted away as if they were at the cricket.

 

In the first half Sonny Wheeler was forced into a good save, but very little else happened, and we went in at half-time at 0–0.

 

The second half was spearheaded by a quadruple change, and it gave us more energy going forward. Breckon took a cross to feet and placed his shot just wide five minutes after the restart. Had that gone in, it might have crushed the spirits of our guests, but they fought on and got the opener when we lost the ball deep in our own half. It looked like we’d survived the initial attack, but a well-placed strike found the far corner. 0–1.

 

All of a sudden there was a blemish on the cup — a greasy fingerprint that would be hard to buff off in the photos — so we pressed for an equaliser. Eventually it came, late in added time, when Barrington fired a powerful shot that could only be parried into the path of Jordan. From a tight angle he found the back of the net, sending the Met Police to their knees in disappointment. 1–1. A minute later we had a throw-in and, with Barrington, sent the long ball, but it was too close to the ‘keeper and any fairytale finish was lost.

 

Then we moved into the ceremony, with a plinth erected on the halfway line. It was great to be there when the cup was finally lifted. I say finally, because each player introduction felt like it took an age — I forgot whether this was for winning the league or whether we’d drifted into July and somehow won the Advertiser Trophy.

 

All in all, a good day. Such a good day, I realised about 30 minutes after getting home that I couldn’t find my cycle helmet. I still don’t know whether I left it at the ground and cycled home without it, or whether I’ve misplaced it somewhere around the house…

 

Onto the weekend, when we look to get back to winning ways and try to work on a couple more milestones — 100 goals, and Hogan’s Golden Boot.

Met Police and the Trophy are coming!

Smugness levels get to be dialled up to 11 today, as we face Met Police after clinging the title on Saturday. Hopefully the Met Police will give our players a guard of honour in full uniform before running in to get changed. Hopefully our players can shake off their hangovers as there are still targets to aim for. Hogan’s Golden Boot, 100 points and we need to be professional for the benefits of clubs like Littlehampton fighting at the bottom. Kickoff at 3 pm. See you there!

Littlehampton 0 - 2 Tanners

Leatherhead turned up to this one — both on and off the pitch. With an attendance of over 700, I'd estimate 500 could quite easily have come down the A24 to see us get over the line. If the players had any doubts about the size of the occasion, they certainly didn't once they walked down that long, fenced tunnel with enthusiastic — and perhaps slightly tipsy — supporters packed either side.

 

The first half didn't live up to the hype. Mark Waters hit the bar with a header but, on the whole, it was an even affair.

 

Second half, and the league was won. Our campaign started with Breckon opening the scoring at Westfield, so it was fitting that his goals delivered the three points we needed. Both were headers. The first came after a mazy run down the right, and a looping header beat the keeper. The second came from a corner, and his deft near-post header beat him again from a tight angle.

 

The game seemed to race by and soon we were in injury time, pleading for the final whistle. When it came, many had the restraint not to run on the pitch. The first to do so was a well-known supporter — and his son, who I don't think I've seen at a game for 10 or 20 years. I feel a new book coming on.

 

We then joined the players and management team to enjoy the moment. I even got a celebratory hug from Mrs Wheeler, but I fear my comment that Sonny had such a quiet game he could have pulled out a deckchair missed its mark. I'll make amends on Monday, when we also have the trophy to lift…

Travelling Tanners



OK, Leatherhead.  Let's get this done.

 

When the fixtures first came out, there were some obvious ones I looked out for.  Raynes Park Vale and Bognor, as I thought they were going to challenge for the title (yeah, I was wrong about that), but also this one.  It was on April, so I thought it would be a nice warm trip to the south coast (I was wrong about that too) and the obvious sound of the New Ground Klaxon.  Little did I know it could be the trip we clinch the title.

 

Three points is all we need to become champions.  On paper, Littlehampton provide the perfect opportunity to do that BUT factor in they are fighting to stay in the league and throw in a dose of complacency, and this could be a banana skin.

 

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Tanners 3 - 0 Ks

In reality, had we lost this game it wouldn't have changed the outcome of our season — with Westfield and Hanworth Villa playing on Monday, someone was dropping points — but it makes life a lot more comfortable going into this Easter weekend.

 

It was clear from the start: Leatherhead were up for this. We tore into Ks, making an absolute mockery of the form table, and got an early goal when Anas cushioned his volley across the keeper and into the net. 1–0. We'd seen an early goal on Saturday and still lost, but there were no signs of letting up. Not long after, Jordan was put through on goal and confidently chipped the keeper. 2–0.

 

Then came a moment that stunned every player and the 615 – 615 for a midweek game, by the way! – in attendance.  The ref heard some fruity language from Ks' number nine and produced a straight red. The rest of the half was played out by two teams of meek schoolboys, all terrified they'd be sent straight to detention as well.

 

With a man advantage it was inevitable Leatherhead would have more of the game. The score could have run away from Ks if not for the efforts of their keeper, who pulled off some magnificent saves. And 2–0 can be a dangerous scoreline, so when Sonny Wheeler produced a fingertip save it started to feel like all three points really were ours. Of course, the best thing for the nerves at 2–0 is a third goal — and George Hedley obliged, rising to meet a cross and finally spoiling their keeper's second-half performance. 3–0.

 

There it is then. Three points is all that's needed, and we can go looking for it to the tune of the New Ground Klaxon — and a trip to Littlehampton…

Ks are coming!

With last night's draw the maths has become a bit simpler.  Six points - two wins – and we win the league, and three of those may come tonight as we face Kingstonian.  

It won't be easy though as they come to us in better form than AFC Portchester did, with 15 points from six games; the same us.

 

Kick off at 7.45pm.  See you there!

Hayes & Yeading 0 - 0 Westfield

A large traveling contingent of four young Westfield supporters made the short hop to West London. On arrival they were shocked to discover that they had to pay an entry fee as home games are free to the majority of their supporters.

The referee appeared equally disinterested in this mid-table clash and couldn't be bothered to start until 19.50.

Hayes were keen to avenge the 7-0 embarrassment of 2 months ago in the reverse fixture, although since then Westfield have fallen down the form table alarmingly; resembling Fareham more than their Portsmouth area rivals.

Hayes had the better of the first half (tho' this deputy reporter is very biased) with the mild mannered and well spoken away 'keeper spilling shots and crosses on a couple of occasions. The first half missed the class of a Hogan or an Anas and remained goalless.

The 2nd half was very uneventful. Neither side seemed capable of even mustering up the dark arts and housery to liven things up.

On a mild evening there will be no need for the traditional yellow and black bobble hat to appear in the mealy-mouthed post-match interview.

The draw means that we need 6 more points to see football come home…

Tanners 2 - 3 AFC Portchester

I blame myself for this one. Prior to the game, Ian Selley was kind enough to present me with a signed squad photo for sponsoring a player. I (jokingly) chastised Ian for letting go of not one but two players I'd sponsored this season (Sam Ou Est De St Croix and Logan Coles) and this must have unsettled his pre-match preparations. Apologies.

 

Onto the game, and the large crowd didn't have to wait long for an opening goal. On the one-minute mark, Breckon was set free just left of goal and he placed his shot perfectly into the bottom corner. 1–0.

 

Any thoughts that the win was somehow inevitable were short-lived, as an AFC Portchester player was given far too much space to side-volley a shot powerfully down the middle of the goal. 1–1.

 

We did manage to restore the lead when Seb went full Ronaldinho and sent in a lofty cross to the far post — but it perfectly lobbed the keeper and nestled into the goal. 2–1, but there were signs we weren't quite at the races.

 

Second half, and AFC Portchester looked sharper all over the pitch. Ryan Pennery was certainly more alert when he pounced on a ball ricocheting around the six-yard box and bundled it in. 2–2. He then made space for himself and bent a shot in from just inside the area. 3–2.

 

Leatherhead changed it up, with Marcel Barrington coming on, and started to regain some control. He was at the centre of our best chance to equalise. A ball ballooned up in the air and dropped to him in the box with a clear sight of goal. It was one of those that seemed to take an eternity to come down, so he opted to head it towards the far post. In stormed Breckon, who improvised an attempt with his shoulder, but the ball — and he — crashed into the post.

 

So, after seven straight wins, we suffer defeat, but with a healthy gap of 11 points we can go into Wednesday's game without the need to panic…

AFC Portchester are coming!

After a very respectable second place, finish in the Tanners Quiz Night, I hope to take some of that confidence into today's game when we face fifth placed AFC Portchester.

Our guests have 11 points from their last six games, and are a worthy addition to the play-off places. I very much enjoyed the reverse fixture, with a healthy support that they had on a Tuesday night.

Kick off at 3pm. See you there!

Horndean 0 -3 Tanners

On arrival at the ground, any pre-match confidence I'd built up on the drive down suddenly disappeared as we were greeted by a windswept pitch and horizontal rain. Nothing saps the quality from a game more than gale-force wind. Walking into the bar, there was a notable absence of home supporters. We did strike up a conversation with a young striker who looked to have been ruled out. I looked at the size of him, then considered the size of Niran, and commented that he'd had a lucky escape.

 

One of the many quirks of the Horndean ground is that you can't watch the game from behind one of the goals. We found a corner that somehow created a wind vortex, with the rain sailing over our heads and into the faces of the supporters on the far side, and settled in to (hopefully) watch us take three points. When you're used to watching from behind the goal, everything looks a little different from the corner, but one sight remains familiar: Hogan running clear on goal. A through ball set him free and he confidently stroked it into the back of the net. Hogan has been known to run over and celebrate with the crowd, but on looking over and seeing three middle-aged men with their arms open wide to greet him, he suddenly appeared less confident and chose the warmer embrace of his teammates. I don't blame him. 1–0.

 

The rest of the half was a dogged affair, and we were pleased to get back into the clubhouse with a cup of soup.

 

For the first five to ten minutes of the second half, Horndean rallied and had a couple of chances. We survived the scare, made a few changes, and started to dominate again. Anas was influential with his pace down the right. He won the corner that was sent to the far post to Waters, who headed back across goal for Barrington to open his account with The Tanners. 2–0.

 

At 2–0 things felt comfortable, but what impressed me was that Leatherhead were still after more — chasing down balls and creating chances. Anas again won a corner from a cross, which arguably should have been a penalty when the defender stuck out a hand to block it. The Leo Sayer look-a-like lino did not make me feel like dancing when he failed to spot it, but we were dancing the night away eventually when Hedley headed home the resulting corner. 3–0.

 

A well-fought win and three points to keep us clear at the top of the table — a useful buffer as we face a very strong AFC Portchester on Saturday…

Travelling Tanners

A midweek trip to yet another Portsmouth-based club, as we look to secure three vital points.

Horndean sit in second to last place, and also lost 6-1 on the same night we beat RVP by the same score line.

Kick off at 7.45. See you there!

RPV are coming!

I love days like this - ironically , I'm away - when the footballing gods throw up a double header like this. All the events and tensions of the previous game roll seamlessly into the next… and there is plenty to roll over.

Hopefully everyone can turn up to this game and enjoy it for the game of football it is. Hopefully Leatherhead can be ready for a RPV backlash.

Kick off at 3pm. Good luck fellas!

RPV 1 - 6 Tanners

I was nervous coming into this game. After a hard-fought win on Saturday, I worried the players might be a little flat or complacent, but those fears were quickly put to bed.

 

Within the first couple of minutes we whistled a shot just over the bar — and then Gallagher struck. A through ball put him clear just left of goal, and his near-post finish was too good for the 'keeper. 1-0. Then the floodgates opened.

 

Ten minutes later: corner; Cam Black; 2-0.  Nine minutes later: Hogan breaks free; across-goal finish; 3-0.  Eight minutes later: long ball; Seb rolls his man; shoots; 4-0.  Five minutes later: penalty; Hogan; 5-0.

 

Forty minutes in, and Leatherhead had sent a message to the rest of the league.

 

Then Kane went down with a twisted knee while relentlessly chasing down RPV. Seeing him stretchered off was sobering, and from there we chose to manage the game more conservatively.

 

RPV applied more pressure and pulled one back on 52 minutes. Any hopes of a Binfield-esque collapse were ended soon after when Breckon met a knock-down from Cam Black (from a corner) and buried a side-volley into the far corner. 6-1.

 

The final whistle went and what should have been a joyful occasion was marred by some of the newer "supporters". If you're a young lad who turns up, makes a nuisance of yourself all game, then gets called out, takes offence, and plays up like a princess who's been asked to sleep on a hundred mattresses and a pea: stay at home, lad. You're not wanted.

 

Meanwhile, tonight Leatherhead fans can pull up a chair with a glass of wine, see how the other result pans out, and look forward to Saturday — hoping that this result doesn't breed any complacency…

Travelling Tanners

After a long wait, we travel to see some familiar faces tonight when we take on Raynes Park Vale.  They are looking to be more in form than they were when we were first scheduled to play, so we are going to need to play as well as we did on Saturday to get all three points.

 

Kick off at 7.45.  Direction can be found here.  See you there!

Moneyfields 0 - 1 Tanners

One-nil doesn't quite tell the full story. Leatherhead played without the kind of fear that has previously allowed Moneyfields to bully us, and instead with a level of dominance and control that really ought to have produced three or four goals.

 

One thing I wasn't expecting on arrival was the club's new crèche set-up. Apparently, on matchdays you can drop off your ten-year-old and they'll be entertained with loudhailers and Anglo-Saxon language. Leatherhead, meanwhile, kept Moneyfields pinned back in their own half, so, like any under-10s match, the kids simply followed the ball. They tried watching from behind our goal, but were swiftly moved on by the stewards.

 

Then came the breakthrough. Breckon latched onto a clever through ball, broke free, and ran clear on goal. In strode their cocky number 6, who brought Breckon down in the box. He was the last man, but the referee decided — conveniently — that it was a genuine attempt to play the ball and only showed a yellow. Back came the kids to try to put off Hogan, but there was only one winner. 1-0.

 

Moments later, Kane got tangled in the box and Moneyfields' number 5 took exception. As he got up, he "accidentally" kneed Kane in the back of the head. The ref saw it and, despite us receiving a red card for less in the same fixture last year, let him off with a warning.

 

Dickson was a standout in the first half, but he picked up an injury late on. I worried we'd lose momentum, but Seb came in and did well. We went into half-time 1-0 up.

 

In the second half, the Moneyfields we know and love turned up. They hadn't had much chance to play-act while they were chasing the game, so they made up for it by screaming louder and rolling around more dramatically in the hope of forcing us into card trouble — and the ref lapped it up.

 

At one point, two of their defenders went down in a synchronised display of dying, and they must have been disappointed that only one yellow was issued. Meanwhile, Breckon was being manhandled every time the ball went up to him, but because he left the Oscar performances to Hollywood, he got nothing from the referee.

 

When we were allowed to play, Leatherhead dominated and missed chance after chance. Hogan could have added two more: first from a cross that found him alone in the box (and then again from the follow-up), and later from a shot that nearly dipped under the bar. But we couldn't find the second goal to give ourselves a vital cushion.

 

I don't remember seeing a board for added time in either half, so we were left guessing as Moneyfields rallied for a late equaliser. A cheer went up from some of the travelling support at news Westfield had conceded late, just as a cross dropped to number 5 alone in front of goal. Thankfully, he ballooned it over, and the referee blew shortly after, sparking wild celebrations behind the far goal.

 

A steward then came over to advise us we needed to stay inside until they dispersed the prepubescent ultras. It's happened to me before, but I was away at Steaua Bucharest over 20 years ago — so it was strange to have the same thing at a non-league match in Portsmouth. When we eventually left, they were still outside with flares, so the move felt somewhat futile.

 

Somehow, we got out of the ground alive and look forward to the trip to Raynes Park Vale on Tuesday…

Travelling Tanners

Three times we have played Moneyfields and three times we have lost. Everytime we, and the referee, get sucked into their perfectly executed game of the dark arts; and if they score, forget about it.  They will be flopping down all over the pitch.  Let's hope for better today when we travel down to Portsmouth to face our third place rivals.

We appear to be travelling in numbers, and the pub to be is the Jolly Taxpayer.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Tanners 3 - 1 Egham

While sipping a pre-match drink, I was handed the team sheet and noticed something strange: the away team had been allowed to play in lime green while we were also in green and white. Talk turned to Manchester's grey-kit debacle at Southampton, but who would be the ones ruing this decision? Luckily, Leatherhead's own Ken Monkou, Neil Shipperley and Matt Le Tissier were on hand to make sure it wasn't us.

 

The opening 25 minutes were everything the vast majority of last Saturday's game wasn't: high tempo and ruthless. The opener came after just ten minutes when a penalty was awarded for handball. Harsh on the defender, who had his arm outstretched to break his fall as he dived to block the shot, but the ball struck it and the referee pointed to the spot. Hogan stepped up for his 21st goal of the season. 1-0.

 

Jacob Breckon hasn't been on the scoresheet much recently, so it was good to see him cleverly make room for himself inside the box and fire into the bottom corner on 16 minutes. Mark Waters made it three when he pounced on a loose ball at the far post and side-volleyed in from a tight angle just six minutes later. 3-0.

 

With 25 minutes gone, a group of home supporters started the chant: "Can we play you every week?" It was far too early for such gloating, and Egham scored on the break. IDIOTS! 3-1. That shook Leatherhead a bit, and we had to work hard to regain control and see the half out.

 

Despite only three minutes being indicated, the referee allowed an extra three or four before Egham finally sauntered out for the second half. They had the manner of a group about to undertake a 45-minute spell of gardening rather than a football match. It was as if they had decided to topple their king over and declare, and we gratefully accepted. The second half was not much of a spectacle. We only had two shots: one from Kane that went just wide, and a dipping free kick from Hogan.

 

On 60 minutes, the Egham 'keeper went down with the kind of mysterious cramp the league should keep an eye on. All too often, an opposition 'keeper collapses holding his leg to receive "treatment" while the rest of the team have an ad hoc coaching session and a drink, only to play on without so much as a limp.

 

Three points notched up, though, and now we prepare for the trip to Moneyfields on Saturday…

Egham are coming!

A big night for the Isthmian South Central as 1st plays 8th and 3rd plays 10th at home in a wonderful piece of footballing symmetry.

Our guests have been chugging along quite nicely, only losing to Westfield and Portchester this year.

Kick off at 7.45pm. See you there!

Tanners 2 - 1 Fareham

As was the case when we met in November, Leatherhead needed a last-gasp goal to take all three points against a bottom-of-the-table side.

 

There was something not quite right about Leatherhead's performance. For long spells it was flat and lacked the urgency needed to maintain our position at the top. We did force the Fareham defence — and their TikTok 'keeper — into a few saves in the first half, but we went in at 0-0.

 

The second half started in much the same way until we gifted Fareham their chance. Wheeler completely mishit a pass straight into a striker. It looked like we'd survived the initial scare, but the ball was eventually smashed into the top corner from a tight angle. Just two minutes into the half, and it was 0-1.

 

Leatherhead continued to huff and puff, but we still created chances. When Anas scored his winner in November, there was a touch of luck in how the ball got to him, and the same was true here. A hopeful through ball should have been cut out easily by two well-placed defenders, but they both left it to each other and Anas was allowed to run on. The TikTok 'keeper dived towards his 360-degree camera for likes, and Anas sent the ball the other way. 1-1.

 

In the first half, Wheeler was booked for politely enquiring why he wasn't allowed to play on after an offside decision. No Fareham player was booked for similar "discussions" with the ref about why Anas wasn't deemed offside.

 

Leatherhead still looked flat until about ten minutes to go, when Kane started to lift the side by the bootstraps. He drove us forward and raised the tempo as we searched for a winner. Someone from Moneyfields must have texted the Fareham bench to ask why the TikTok 'keeper hadn't gone down injured for no reason, and down he went to receive "treatment" with only a few minutes of normal time left.

 

We went into stoppage time, and the news that Westfield had conceded an equaliser looked like it might be a silver lining — until Gallagher broke down the right. His cross found Hogan and, despite a Leatherhead player being dangerously close to blocking the effort, he placed his shot into the side netting to send the home support crazy.

 

Fareham slumped to the floor. Their valiant effort to cling on for a point — one that would do little to change the course of their season — had come to an end, and we could head home still top. Three points secured, but we can't repeat a performance like that and expect to get away with it, especially with Egham coming on Tuesday and a trip to Moneyfields on Saturday…

Fareham are coming

Bottom-of-the-table Fareham come to The Grove today, like a slippery banana skin threatening to ruin the results of last weekend.

This team have previous with us, only losing in the last minute following a fortunate flick on by a newly introduced Fareham sub.

Kick off at 3pm. See you there!

Ascot 1 - 2 Tanners

"A place for everything, and everything in its place", as my mother used to say — and this was a well-balanced Leatherhead side, with the key players in the positions that cause (and limit) the most damage. Well, almost everyone: Waters was absent, so Paget stepped in and did a good job. Importantly, Anas was back and out wide, alongside Hogan.

 

As the players came out of the tunnel, someone shouted, "Keep it cool, Sonny," to our 'keeper, who turned and laughed. It lightened the mood, but it was a shadow of last year's game in terms of the home crowd. Their run of results has kept the floating supporters away, though those who were there were welcoming.

 

Initially, Ascot set themselves up to defend robustly at set pieces. Their number 2 decided Niran needed some manhandling and began a series of pushes and nudges. The ball came in, and number 2 was suddenly on his backside. He didn't try that again. It's good to have Niran back.

 

Leatherhead settled the nerves of the travelling support after just seven minutes. A cross was floated in and found Hogan unmarked in the middle, where he caressed the ball into the side netting. 1-0.

 

The second goal came in similar fashion. A corner was lofted in and this time Cameron Black was on hand to place the ball into the same corner. Two goals from lofted balls dropping to unmarked feet in the area tells you all you need to know about why this Ascot side has been struggling at the moment.

 

In the dying minutes of the first half, we swung in another cross that Breckon met, but his stooping header went just wide. 2-0 at half-time.

 

Early in the second half we nearly got off to the perfect start again, when Anas broke free on the right but shot uncharacteristically wide. At 2-0 we still looked comfortable, and we could spend the game glancing at other results and seeing things go our way.

 

Then came that sinking feeling: an Ascot player let fly with an ambitious shot-cum-cross from a tight angle and it found the top corner. 2-1. By then, Paget had to move back to right-back and we had the less defensively minded Logan Coles (sponsored by The Lip!) on, so Ascot had their tails up and started to press. The ref found seven minutes of stoppage time — which makes a mockery of the six that were awarded on Tuesday night, given the lengthy spells of timewasting Moneyfields enjoyed — but we held on for the win to move back to the top.

 

Onto Saturday, then, when Fareham come to the Grove…

Travelling Tanners

With some overnight rain, it is a relief to be travelling to a 3G pitch with some assurance the game will be on.

On the form guide, our hosts sit bottom with just one point from six games.  Let's not get carried away, though.  We only have seven…

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Tanners 0 - 1 Moneyfields

Leatherhead played out a game that was as depressing as it was predictable, as Moneyfields executed their usual game plan to perfection.

 

We started with a fluid shape. Players were popping up everywhere, switching sides and rotating constantly. It was like watching the balls bounce around inside a lottery machine, but Moneyfields didn't roll over. From start to finish they frustrated us with players falling over, screaming in pain at the slightest touch, then jogging off for a drinks break while someone received "treatment". That's fine if the referee adds the time on, but he didn't.

 

Leatherhead have the tools to deal with this, but too many players looked out of place. Bancroft has shown he can cause defenders problems when bursting into the box; he also showed he lacks the pace and trickery to pull off a winger's role. When he eventually settled out wide near the halfway line, we effectively lost the right flank. Hogan is our top scorer and is most dangerous when starting wide, yet he was used through the middle. And Waters has been influential both in breaking up play and creating chances, but here he was positioned too deep to do the latter.

 

At least Sonny Wheeler was where he should be, but he was powerless to stop Moneyfields' second-half goal. A low corner was cut out too easily and they scored on the break, despite two defenders getting back and attempting to stop the attack.

 

It could have been different. Breckon let fly with a powerful left-footed shot towards the near post, but their 'keeper stuck out a foot and saved it. He also struck the bar in the dying minutes.

 

The referee didn't cover himself in glory either, allowing blatant play-acting and timewasting without properly adding it on at the end. In the second half, one player needed five minutes of treatment and walking-off time, yet only six minutes were added despite numerous other stoppages, substitutions and a goal. To add insult to injury, the ref then wasted time explaining to the Moneyfields defenders how to jump in the wall, and blew up around ten seconds short of the six minutes he'd indicated.

 

That result sees us drop to third place — the first time we haven't been top since August. But we go again on Saturday, away at Ascot, looking to make amends…

Moneyfields are coming!

Portsmouth comes at Leatherhead hard and fast, with our second team in a week from the south.

Our guests are breathing down our necks, level on points but having played more games.

Kick off at 7.45. See you there!

Tanners 1 - 2 Hayes & Yeading

Is there a world where we can win a game without Anas and Nathan? I hope so, but on the evidence of a few second-half collapses — and this one, after Nathan was withdrawn — it feels doubtful. With Anas away and Nathan nursing a midweek illness, it all compounded a leggy display that suggested last Tuesday had taken its toll.

 

Hayes & Yeading brought more fans than I remember seeing at their place when we played them last year. Perhaps they were there then, but had little to shout about as we ran away 5-0 winners. This time they certainly had more to celebrate, as their player cut across the face of the box, evaded three challenges, and blasted powerfully past Sonny Wheeler. 0-1.

 

Second half and Leatherhead needed to step it up, as Nathan made way for fresh legs. The change had an immediate impact as their 'keeper failed to deal with a ball into the box and Hedley prodded it home from close range. 1-1.

 

We started to look much livelier and nearly took the lead when Bancroft broke free for a one-on-one with the 'keeper. Twice before he'd had similar chances, but from the left of goal, and checking back for a right-footed shot gave the defence time to recover and block. This time he was on the right, so he could send the 'keeper the wrong way and drive a powerful effort towards the near post. It rattled the post and bounced into a dangerous area in the goalmouth, but no one was there to follow up.

 

Not even a trip to the toilet could conjure the decisive goal we needed, and with ten minutes to go it got worse as Hayes & Yeading scored on the break. 1-2. Any energy we had left soon dissipated, and they held on for a win that keeps us looking over our shoulder.

 

Onto Tuesday and another tough game, with the visit of Moneyfields…

Hayes & Yeading are coming!

Another tough game, today, as sixth-placed Hayes & Yeading come to the Grove today.

We beat them 5-0 earlier in the season and just lost to the same score line to AFC Portchester, but you don't sit in sixth without posing a threat.

Kick off at 3pm. See you there!

AFC Portchester 0 - 3 Tanners

Leatherhead pulled off a statement result with a fine 3-0 win away at AFC Portchester. After a pre-match pint in one of the two bars serving supporters, I emerged into the new ground to hear their manager had just been presented with Manager of the Month. The kiss of death had been administered.

 

The first half was a cagey affair, but it sprang into life when one of their players saw red for a high tackle. Did the AFC Portchester player make significant contact with Massango? I don't care. He dived in with the ball out of reach, straight leg, knee height. The red card however, if anything, prompted a robust response from the hosts, and Leatherhead did well to stand up to it.

 

In the second half, it was difficult to tell who had ten men as AFC Portchester pegged us back. Sensing we needed a goal, I hauled myself from my spot behind the goal to a new position out wide, near the toilets. The switch brought my third goal in two games as Hedley headed in a Paget cross.

 

The second goal was karma served on a plate. AFC's number 6, Jack Lee, spent much of the game bullying and diving rather than playing football—a tactic that worked for him at Moneyfields last year, when one of our players was sent off following his playacting. This time, a corner was swung in and Lee was so preoccupied with trying to win a foul off Kane that he failed to notice Cameron Black steaming in. Black met the ball cleanly and thumped it into the net.

 

At 2-0, AFC Portchester probably felt they had us exactly where they wanted us and fancied a route back into it, but we found a third to kill it off. Bancroft was brought on, this time as a straight swap for Breckon, keeping the structural integrity of the formation that was working so well intact. With renewed power and pace up front, he calmly ran onto a long diagonal ball, brought it down, and poked it into the far corner. 3-0.

 

A great win, and a relatively easy midweek drive home—without the Hindhead Tunnel closing on us. Onto Saturday, and the visit of Hayes & Yeading…

Travelling Tanners

The New Ground Klaxon sounds with a trip to AFC Portchester this Shrove Tuesday.  And I will be flipping annoyed if we conspire to give up a two goal lead again.

Our hosts have hit some form, so we will need to be on our game for the whole 90 minutes.

Kick off at 7.45pm. Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Hanworth Villa 3 -3 Tanners

Another squandered lead yesterday, when it looked like we were well worth all three points.

Leatherhead dominated the first half and missed two good chances before Hanworth grabbed a goal against the run of play. Hogan rattled the crossbar and Breckon blasted over from close range. Typical that our hosts scored with their first shot on goal. 0–1.

As the half was drawing to a close, I decided that walking around for a cup of tea would bring Leatherhead goals, and I was not disappointed. First, Anas latched onto a cross and fired it into the roof of the net, and then we won a penalty that Hogan slotted away. 2–1. You're welcome.

In the second half, we were soon in table-topping dreamland as Hogan bore down on goal and slotted a long-range effort into the bottom corner. 3–1.

Then it all changed. Up until the 68th minute, we had dominated midfield with three in the centre and two explosive wingers who were posing a threat (and scoring). Then off came Anas (not sure why), and on came Jacob Bancroft, leaving us with only four in midfield. He put himself about a bit, but the midfield battle was starting to be lost and the pressure grew.

Just eight minutes later, Hanworth scored to set up a nervous ending. To help out, Bancroft moved into a left-wing role but lacked the pace to pull this off. Jordan Gallagher was so keen to get involved that he pretended to take a corner while warming up and got booked. Interestingly, the Hanworth player who attempted to pull Anas off the pitch when he was subbed off only got a talking-to.

The game wore on and finally we could see light at the end of the tunnel. We were past 90 minutes and through the four minutes of added time when Hanworth won a corner. The referee treated the time like the final drive in rugby and played on, and the resulting corner was swung in and met by a Hanworth header that was thundered in. The ref blew his whistle no sooner than the ball had hit the back of the net. 3-3.

Disappointing and entirely avoidable. Again. Onto Tuesday, and the New Ground Klaxon sounds again with the trip to AFC Portchester.

Travelling Tanners

Love is in the air, as we travel to Hanworth Villa this Valentine's Day.  Something that isn't in the air, rain.  Which is ironic given this is a weekend the elements would find hard to spoil as our hosts have a 3G pitch.

It's second vs. first.  Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Corinthian-Casuals 0 - 5 Tanners

This was my second trip into Woking for football in four days, after watching a Binfield, that side tore into us only a couple of weeks ago, fluff their first-half chances, and then lose convincingly to Westfield on Saturday.

 

Working in Woking and being desperate for a game, I jumped at the chance to get to this friendly and realised, as I walked through the leisure centre, that I had the added bonus of ticking off a new ground.

 

Corinthian-Casuals were probably grateful for the friendly at first, but football came at them fast as a strong Leatherhead side raced into a 4-0 lead. Quick goals from Anas, Sapsford (I thought it was Hogan at the time), Hogan (penalty), and Breckon made this a non-event inside 25 minutes. If we learned anything from the first half, it's that tackles still hurt in friendlies too—Mark Waters took a couple of hefty ones.

 

I counted eight changes in the second half, which slowed our goal rate considerably. Jordan got our fifth when he ran onto a cross (one Corinthian-Casuals really should have dealt with) and smashed it into the top near corner, having just given the 'keeper "the eyes".

 

With Saturday looking in doubt, it was good to get a game under the belt, and with fixture congestion forecast as well, maybe we should appeal to the league to classify this as a league match and take the three points…

Harrow 0 - 2 Tanners

A crash on the M25 turned a one-hour journey into something a lot longer. Was I worried about getting back in time for the panto I was due to see that evening? Oh yes, I was.

 

In the opening minutes, our debutant, Sapsford, dived in for a tackle and, while making contact with the ball, also landed on the Harrow player. A lengthy delay then ensued while the player received treatment before being stretchered off to hospital, and Sapsford escaped with only a yellow card.

 

Once the game restarted, Leatherhead comprehensively dominated, but it took set pieces to score the vital goals. Nathan Hogan swung in a free kick that, as soon as it began its downward trajectory, looked destined for the net. The ball dropped between the defenders and the 'keeper with such pace that it invited either a Leatherhead header or a panicked clearance that risked an own goal. Breckon was first to it and headed the opener. He was then denied a hat-trick by two offside decisions.

 

Then, in the 11th minute of the 13 indicated, Anas sent in a corner and Black rose to head it past the 'keeper. Up until that point, Anas' corners had been somewhat lofty, but a demand for "flatter" was obeyed, and it proved far more deadly.

 

Into the second half, and the inevitable collapse and concession of three goals? Oh no they didn't. Leatherhead went on to deliver a thoroughly professional performance and left Harrow with nothing but scraps.

 

All of this played out against the backdrop of some really poor officiating. Harrow were obviously upset not to get their "stonewall" red-card decision, while Leatherhead were frustrated with assistant referees who refused to flag for fouls right under their noses, gave Harrow anything for falling over while we got little, and failed to give a back-pass decision for one of the most obvious infringements of its kind I've seen.

 

A fine win, though, and a further chance to build on this form with a visit from Chipstead on Tuesday (weather permitting)…

Travelling Tanners

A blip turned into a wobble and over two second half performances we lost 8-1… the kind of performance that creates offers of free drinks to the supporters only for that to be later retracted…

Today we travel to ninth placed Harrow Borough, a side that beat Hayes & Yeading on the week.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Leatherhead 4 - 5 Binfield

Leatherhead suffered the kind of capitulation rarely seen outside of Day 2 of the Ashes, as we conceded five – five! – second-half goals to Binfield.

In the first half, this all seemed so easy and straightforward. Anas set up Breckon for a tap-in. 1–0. Hogan shot with his right, then followed up the rebound with his left. 2–0. Then Anas scored a fine goal. 3–0. Leatherhead's potent trident were in full effect.

Half-time brought a moment to sit down with a cup of tea and contemplate how many more we would score… then things started to unravel.

At half-time, Massango made way for Charlie Kennett at left-back and things seemed OK. Binfield came out looking for a way back into the game, but we were comfortable. Their opener was perhaps a little fortuitous, taking a massive deflection to beat Sonny. Nothing to worry about: 3–1.

Then we made a double substitution that probably turned the game. Gallagher and Hogan went off. Suddenly, all of the swagger and potency left the pitch, and our left-hand side were new to a game where the pace was about to step up. Three quick goals followed from Binfield, all attacks down their right, fired in with a pace that Leatherhead seemed unwilling or unable to deal with. 3–4.

With 15 minutes to go, even with the shock of now losing a game we had looked certain to win, I thought we could bounce back… but then we gave away a penalty and the visitors made it 3–5, despite Sonny diving the right way.

To Leatherhead's credit, we tried to salvage a point. Hedley headed home, and Binfield survived two scares when they were able to head the ball off the line and their 'keeper dived sharply to his left to stop a deflected shot from creeping in.

This is the kind of result that, had we seen Moneyfields, Westfield, etc. do this, we would have wet ourselves laughing. As it is, we are the wetees and not the wetor.

Tanners 2 - 3 Horsham

Leatherhead didn't have enough in the tank to see the job out against their National League South opposition after taking a first-half 2-0 lead.

 

Over 1,600 fans came to see the showdown, and Leatherhead not only avoided a perhaps expected early battering but took the game to Horsham. The first goal came after just seven minutes when Anas was allowed far too much space on the ball to run into the box and pick out Hogan. His finish was crisp, to the near post, and beat the hapless 'keeper with ease. 1-0.

 

With Hogan playing through the middle, Jordan Gallagher was given the freedom to play down the right, and he relished the task. Like Anas, the Horsham defence found him difficult to handle, and on 36 minutes, he drove into the box. Two or three defenders tried to stop the attack, but none of them fully committed, and with the 'keeper also coming off his line, Jordan simply rolled it into an open net. 2-0.

 

Moments later, Jordan attempted to curl one into the same corner from further out. Had it not been just a foot wide, a 3-0 lead might have been too much for Horsham to bounce back from. But wide it went, and we went into the break 2-0 up…

 

The second half was a very different story. Horsham had regrouped and came out with purpose, whereas we largely looked like we only wanted to defend our lead. That lead was halved just four minutes into the half when some tight passing through the middle freed a striker to advance on goal and coolly finish. 2-1.

 

On the hour mark, it was all square when Horsham broke away from our corner. We had just gotten back into the game and were applying pressure when Anas completely mistimed a shot, allowing the ball to be stolen and pushed up the pitch. During the pre-match warm-up, Horsham had exhibited some of the most clinical practice shots I've ever seen. I barely feared for my face or cup of tea once. One player stood out in particular—Ola Ogunwamide—who fired a powerful, dipping shot over Sonny and into the side netting from the edge of the box. 2-2.

 

The game remained even, and just as we debated which end penalties would be taken at, disaster struck. A well-worked move down the left allowed for a cross across the face of our goal, and a Horsham player was on hand to slide in and prod it home. 3-2.

 

So, the FA Sodding Trophy adventure ended exactly how I feared it would: losing to a local rival we know too well, as opposed to the delight of losing 5-0 away at Carlisle or somewhere similar. Now we can get back to the business of trying to win the league, and I wonder how many of the Leatherhead-based 1,600 will be donning two pairs of socks for the visit of Moneyfields on Tuesday…

Horsham are coming!

Trophy fever comes to The Grove today, as we host old friends Horsham today.

Their manager complained of being to the "bare bones" due to injuries in the week, but given their place in their league I'm sure they have good bones.

Kick off at 3pm. See you there!