Tanners 1 - 1 Lewes

The unavailability of Mo Salah cost us today as he would have got 4 goals and we would have won 5-1.

This felt like a missed opportunity with Merstham and Worthing both losing, but with 3 games to go we still have a great chance to get into the play-offs.

Lewes started the livelier and went into the lead on 10 minutes. That was the first goal we had conceded in 5 matches. The last goal being a flukey last minute winner from Merstham on March 2nd  ( P.S. Why do people put an R in Merstham to pronounce it MerstRam? Annoying).

Jerry responded with a karate kick goal just 5 minutes later to calm the nerves and we had chances before the break to go ahead, particularly when Ibrahim was thorough on goal but it was parried away.

Half chances went begging in the 2nd half but the draw was no injustice. 

Brightlingsea have nothing to play for on Saturday except the love of the game.  Dorking have nothing to play for on Easter Monday but they didn't realise that today as they won anyway. 

Lewes are coming

Ninth placed Lewes, kings of the football poster, come to The Grove probably thinking a win would put them only one point behind us and still in the chase.

We still found ourselves just one point away.  Still an unthinkable situation given most of us handed in our season tickets on at least three occasions this season.

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas.

Tanners 1 - 0 Tonbridge

After some hasty re-branding, Leatherhead now play Away and Away from Away in order to secure a play-off place and it has already started to pay off.

Many leaving the ground commented on what a cracking game it was, but I can't help feel that is because we one.   Our Klopp of the Mole set our side out to frustrate our visitors while looking to counter with our pace.  The first half only really picked up in the last 10 minutes while the second half did at least see us play some entertaining football at times.

The goal was made and finished by our man in the mirror.  Dan Gallagher won the ball in midfield before lumping it forward and followed in up with a run into the box.  After a small mix up between our two forwards they sorted themselves out enough to pick up the run of Dan and he blasted it under the 'keeper.

Wild celebrations followed and not even the news that our neighbours had bought... I mean won the league could dampen our spirits.  Another big game Saturday then...

Tonbridge Angels are coming...

I had a cracking April's Fool joke, that in order to make The Grove feel like playing away we were going to move the Bernard Edwards' Stand to the other end of the ground.  A cracking joke, except our home form, when compared to our away form, is far from a laughing matter.

Tonbridge Angels come to The Grove, sitting in third place and will no doubt be after second spot to potentially make the play-offs slightly easier.  Although, by coming third they may get to avoid us... playing away!

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there.

Enfield Town 0 - 1 Tanners

The remarkable run of away form continued with a superb defensive display to make it 5 away wins out of 5.

With Merstham and Carshalton both losing, the play offs are closer than they have been all season. Now just 3 points. Merstham had a shocker losing at home to bottom of the table Burgess Hill Town. Shame.

The best thing about our FA Cup run may yet prove to be discovering Ibrahim at Hanwell Town. He has grown in confidence as the season has progressed and now has 12 goals. Ibrahim's goal on 23' proved to be the decisive today.

For supporters who turned right outside the ground and sat in the yellow box it will prove to be a joyful but expensive afternoon https://www.enfieldindependent.co.uk/news/14538393.council-earn-more-than-60k-in-a-month-from-fines-at-carterhatch-lane-junction/

We are now forced to play a game at home which seems a bit cruel. The club have been trying to get the game switched but so far the league have said, "no deal".

Travelling Tanners

Leatherhead's away form has been stunning in recent weeks but it will be put to the test by a strong Enfield Town and the wild Haringey-esque celebrations of last week.

Watch out for a tricky "no right turn" outside the ground! Kick off at 3pm. Good luck fellas.

Bognor Regis 0 - 4 Tanners

Can we play away every week?

We have won our last 4 away games with an aggregate score of 12-0. Unfortunately the last 4 home games have seen just one win and an aggregate score of 2-3. Those home games will probably cost us a play off place as, despite this stunning victory, we remain 5 points off the promised land.

Woody and Chloe were slightly disappointed with their fish and chips on the seafront but were delighted with a superb performance on the pitch. Chloe got so carried away that Woody decided it was better to stand on the sidelines.

A lively start and plenty of possession from the away side was rewarded with a goal from Jack on 23'. Bognor responded and hit the bar soon afterwards but we weathered the storm and went 2 up with a goal from Charlie on the stroke of half time.

Bognor hit the post in the 2nd half but the 2nd best defence in the league stood firm and the game was put beyond doubt with late goals from Ibrahim and Travis.

Nikki will have his usual beaming smile ready for the post match interview but the contrast in our home and away form will furrow his brow.

Travelling Tanners

Another one of those games where we either remain vaguely interested in the league or start to pack up for the year.  We are off to Bognor Regis.

The two clubs sit on the same points, five away from joining the end-of-season party.  I doubt a draw will do either club much good.

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas.

Tanners 0 - 0 Folkestone

The weather and a unambitious Folkestone frustrate Leatherhead as their goal scoring prowess took an indefinite leave of absence.

The biggest cheer of the day was reserved for Jerry as he notched up an impressive 351 appearances for Leatherhead.  I consider him to be the equivalent of the ravens in the Tower of London, and when he leaves everything will crumble.

Leatherhead really did failed to make the most of their first half chances.  Salmon was outstanding while Folkestone looked in disarray.

Second half and with the wind now in our faces and a determined Folkestone chances were few and far between.  When a shot was on it was quickly smothered and blocked.

A point seemed to suit our visitors.  I doubt it will be enough for us but the trip to Bognor Regis next week looks like a crucial game.

P.S. Anyone seen my son's flag?

Folkestone Invicta are coming

Leatherhead welcome Folkestone to the Grove tomorrow.    With our guests sitting one point above us, these are the kind of games you must win if you have any hope of "gate crashing" the play-off places.

Our guests smashed four goals past Lewes, so let's hope they used up all of their chances last week...

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there.

Burgess Hill 0 - 3 Tanners

The cruel spectre of hope lingers over Leatherhead thanks to comprehensive second half performance.

The first half was hard to watch.  It was that Leatherhead weren't playing good football (their 'keeper kept them in the game with three fine saves) but with the home fans insisting on being by their bar the game lacked atmosphere from a Leatherhead perspective.

Second half and regrouped we went about our business with more urgency and, more importantly, we took our chances.  The flourish of goals taken by Shaun as he broke free down the middle and nutmegged the 'keeper.

Soon after Travis lofted in a corner and Shaun was at hand to deftly lob the 'keeper to make it 2-0 and set up the perfect hat-trick.

Jack Skinner made it 3-0.  Last week we blasted a similar chance way over the Bernard Edwards Stand but this time it was calmly placed into the bottom corner.

Our hosts managed to get themselves back into the game by going down to 10 men, but luckily they left it too late to allow us to hang on.

Folkestone (a point above us) come to the Grove on Saturday...

Travelling Tanners

After two set-backs, Leatherhead travel to bottom-of-the-table Burgess Hill in search of a much needed win.  Lose this and Green Elephants will fly before we make it to the play-off places.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Tanners 0 - 1 Merstham

Leatherhead had given their fans possibly the most painful of gifts; hope.  A string of fine results put us in a position where we could dream of play-off places only to completely cock it up.  The dream isn't over but the late winner from Merstham will come as a big blow to Thomas & friends...

This was a typical local derby.  Lots of huff and puff but little in the way of entertainment.  Leatherhead did look the more adventurous of the two and created some good chances in the first half but these were squandered.  Merstham didn't have a great deal of attacking possession, but on the break they looked the most likely to score.

Second half and Leatherhead rarely threatened.  Shaun, despite his size, was placed in the pocket of the defence with the rest of the team trying to work out a way to threaten.  Merstham slowly went about their business and most people behind our goal sensed what was coming.  A swift move down the middle and a late goal to send their team into wild celebrations.

A disappointing day all round but a trip to Burgess Hill Town on Saturday to try and lift the spirits...

Merstham are coming

After the over celebrating at Haringey cam the short-sharp slap in the face of losing to 10 man AFC Hornchurch.  If you're going to break your run in such a way, may as well be before you play a local rival sitting in third place.

The Mick Sullivan Derby sees Merstham in a very nice position, looking to finish in the play-off places. A win would close the gap in them considerably.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there.

Tanners 1 - 2 AFC Hornchurch

I am not sure if there was a murder on the Orient Express or a suicide yesterday as Leatherhead ran out of steam when facing 10 man AFC Hornchurch.

The ref made the game impossible for us to win as early as 10 minutes when he sent off a Hornchurch player.  It was seemingly innocuous; the ball was running out of play and the striker lashed out at the defender a bit.  He probably thought it was far too early in the game to be sent off for this, but he had picked on the wrong ref.

Regular visitors to the Grove will know playing against 10 men usually signal disappointment, but when we carved out a goal - a nice move down the left, low cross, fumbled into the path of Travis - we could dare to dream we could pull off the impossible.

1-0, playing against 10 men... no need to concentrate on set pieces, it will be fine.  Alas no, the defence being the sleepers in this instance to allow a completely free header to make it 1-1.

Into the second half and the ref took centre stage.  He started blowing his whistle for everything and booking anyone in sight.  Shaun was booked for persistently trying to get the ball, their no 2 booked for a two footed - two footed! - tackle, I was booked for inappropriate tweeting and some birds were booked for persistent migrating. 

Now, we only have ourselves to blame here.  Had we maintained our lead, or even built on it, the ref's breaking up of play would have been just the ticket.  As it was, it only added to our frustration and in doing so allowed AFC Hornchuch the space to score a second and take all three points.

Into the sidings then, until next Saturday.  The big one.  Merstham are coming...

AFC Hornchurch are coming

All aboard! Leatherhead's steam train, a metaphor that was blugeoned to death in the last interview, sets off again today.  It's picked up two more passengers (Christ, now I'm doing it!) and we're ready to face AFC Hornchurch.

Our guests sit 15 points behind us but have won their last two, one of which was the semi final of the League Cup.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Haringey Borough 0 - 3 Tanners

It is easy to say after a 3-0 win, but I thoroughly enjoyed my visit to this North London community based club.  A wonderful atmosphere in a quirky little ground; like a visit to Dulwich Hamlet but without 1,500 quilted jackets and £8 burgers.

On the (3G) pitch it was equally enjoyable with two sides out to play attacking football but, with much of Haringey's first choice midfield out, Leatherhead proved to be too much for the hosts.

Haringey's 'keeper was a shadow of the 15-clean-sheet man the home supporters know.  When Travis danced passed a defender and shot the 'keeper only just about managed a dive as it bounced off of the back of the net.  Then in the second half when Olutade was through clear on goal, he failed to get a hand on a shot placed precariously close to him.  He is going to find it hard to reach the 24 clean sheets he managed last season.

Zaki by contrast, when called upon, kept the hosts at bay as Haringey seemed more up for the match at 2-0 down than they did at 0-0.

Leatherhead put the game out of the reach of Haringey when Shaun was brought down in the box.  The ref waved play on as the ball rolled freely towards the goal and a grateful Olutade.  He took his time while the ref pleaded for him to score which he duly did.  3-0.

Two point off of the play-offs now.  This is getting serious.

Travelling Tanners

A couple of months ago, the trip across London to watch Leatherhead play the top team in the league would almost seem unthinkable; a futile trip if ever there was one.  Now, with Haringey faltering and Leatherhead growing in confidence the New Ground Klaxon sounds louder than ever.

There is talk of a pre-match pub visit.  Keep your eyes open on the Twitter feed!

Directions can be found here.  Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Tanners 1 - 0 Bishop's Stortford

Beating a couple of sides that were rooted to the bottom of the table gave our league position a boost, but to really keep us up there we had to overcome a challenge from a team slightly higher in the league.  Where we crumbled when we faced Corinthian-Casuals at home, this time we pulled through.

We were good value in the first half.  We calved out some good chances with Jack Skinner being always somewhere near the action.  He was presented with a great chance, and perhaps in his mind he had already scored as he approached the ball but his first touch let him down.

Our opening goal came from Olutade, striking the ball from an angle that lobbed the 'keeper.  This was assisted by a wicked deflection off of a defender that had moments earlier dished out cheeky grins as he got up from a "head injury".

Leatherhead were not quite the potent threat they were in the first half and at one point it looked like Bishop's Stortford could walk the ball into the net, but somehow we held on.  We could have made it safe with a couple of one on one chances deep into injury time but for once we were not punished for our failure to score as the ref finally blew his whistle.

All aboard for the trip to Haringey on Saturday...

Bishop’s Stortford are coming

Four points off of the play-offs and Leatherhead face a tougher challenge than they have in recent weeks to prove they are worthy of the chase.

An Amoo-bound Bishop's Stortford arrive to the Grove, one point better off than us.

The pitch has been passed fit for purpose, hopefully the team will do the same.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there.

Whitehawk 0 - 2 Tanners

On a windswept night on the South Downs, Leatherhead took all three points to put them up into the top half and just three points - three points! - from the play-off places.

While Leatherhead dominated the game, we were no doubt helped by one man.  Yannis Ambroisine, no doubt wracked with guilt, was decisive in both our goals.  An instinctive prod of the ball nearly notched up an own goal for the paperwork-shy defender but their 'keeper blocked into the path of Salmon who slotted it away.  1-0.

A Bovril-less half time did not dishearten Leatherhead who continued to apply pressure.  So much pressure in fact that Yannis was forced to pull back Jerry at a set piece and a penalty was awarded.  Up steps Olutade to calmly make it 2-0.

So we start to get interested in the table again, but we've been here before only to get our hopes snuffed out by a club a few places higher than us.  Oh. It is Bishop's Stortford on Saturday...

Travelling Tanners

Someone at Bostik HQ must really hate us?  Who fancies a February, midweek trip to a clifftop in Sussex?  Not me, mate.  The footballing gods may have the last word as there is a pitch inspection at 2pm today...

If the game goes ahead, Whitehawk will be our hosts.  A side with big ideas a few years ago, but now sit bottom of the table, looking very sorry for themselves.

Our win, over second-to-bottom Wingate & Finchley, puts us tantalisingly close to being in the top half of the table... but we still look up and wonder how the 'eck Mertsham find themselves in third...

Kick off at 7.45 (pitch inspection pending).  Directions can be found here.  Good luck fellas.

Tanners 2 - 1 Wingate & Finchley

As the UK braces itself for one of the coldest nights on record, Nikki Bull can cuddle up to his three points well won today.  A stunning debut and a slice of luck enough to send Wingate & Finchley home empty handed.

As we have seen so often recently, Leatherhead got off to a great start.  In just the opening couple of minutes Shaun had a clear shot on goal, only for it to be pulled just wide. 

Jack Skinner was proving to be a handful down the left and it was through him we got our opening goal.  He burst into the box and, despite being pulled back, fired in a cross into Shaun he did enough to beat the 'keeper. 1-0

As we have also seen so often recently, Leatherhead fail to take advantage of their supremacy only to let the other team score.  This time just 15 minutes later, a mix up saw Zak way off his line and allow an open goal.  1-1. 

Leatherhead then went through a spell of riding their luck.  The ball smacking the wood work down onto the goal line and somehow cleared being the highlight.

Then the luck,  A lofted ball from a free kick saw two defenders compete with each other for teh ball.  It bounced off of one head onto another, up over the 'keeper and in off of the far post.  2-1.

Leatherhead could have made it safe but for an outstanding save from their 'keeper, which promptly signalled the need to time waste in the corner.  A task that we achieved to secure a win.

Off to Whitehawk on Tuesday then...

Fans’ night

A reminder there is a Fans' Night at Fetcham Grove tonight, starting at 7pm.

I understand Nikki Bull will be there, as well as discussing various fan based initiatives.

Travelling Tanners

It won't be all dolphins and kiss-me-quick hats today for our trip to Margate, as we travel to Margate for the more routine matter of deciding who is more mid-table.

It is also a chance to reintroduce ourselves to ex-Leatherhead manager, Mike Sandmann.  He has been there, as joint manager, since May last year.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  Good luck fellas.

Tanners 2 - 1 Worthing

Fun fact: just under 15 years ago I held my stag-do in Worthing and I turned up thinking this would go much the same way; ending up with a spanking.  However, I was pleasantly surprised.

The first half did little to persuade me otherwise.  The crowd was unusually subdued and Leatherhead were little better.  There were some signs of promise but Worthing looked comfortable.  Their goal came from some Leatherhead pressure, where their 'keeper gathered the ball and launched a low powerful drive to their breakaway players.  A slip in defence and from our 'keeper allowed a tap in.  1-0.

The rest of the half became surreal, an innocuous coming together saw a Worthing player suffer whiplash type injuries and he lay prostate on the ground for 45 minutes until an ambulance arrived.  The last three minutes was then played out before the half time whistle was blown.

We needed a response and we got one.  Leatherhead cam out with a spring in their step and saw Worthing under pressure for much of the half.  Our opening goal came from a wickedly taken free kick which the 'keeper could only palm into the path of Olutade, who made no mistake.  Moments later we struck the bar from a similarly placed free kick.

Our day seemed to get better when their No 2 (a player with plenty to say to the ref) received his second yellow of the match and were down to ten men.  Our numerical advantage didn't seem to count for too much when Worthing won a penalty but Zak came to our rescue, pulling off a fine diving save.

A win was in the air, you could smell it, and when Shaun was able to swing a left foot on a lose ball in the box and direct it in off of the far post the three points were heading our way.

A fine win and a much needed boost before the long trip to Margate...

Worthing are coming!

Worthing travel up the A24 for this league fixture.  Our guests are flirting with the play-off places, but got the cold shoulder in the week when they were at the wrong end of a 4-1 beating at the hands of Dorking Wanderers.

Leatherhead's mixed form continues.  It is anyone's guess as to how we get on against a team looking to bounce back.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there.

Corinthian-Casuals 2 - 1 Tanners

Leatherhead complete an unfortunate double, losing 2-1 home and away to Corinthian-Casuals.  For the first seven to eight minutes we were sensational and could have notched up a healthy 3-0 lead had we taken the clear chances that fell our way.  We put away our third chance when the 'keeper could only pat Shaun's powerful shot into the path of Wallace who placed the ball into the back of the net.

At 1-0 there was a certain feeling that the rest of the game would be academic - Leatherhead meant business - but that soon dissipated as we went on to play 80 minutes of mediocre football.

The hosts played their part, applying pressure for ten minutes where they looked very dangerous but we appeared to have weathered that storm when they struck.  They broke away from our corner and slotted it past Zak.

Fifteen minutes into the second half and Corinthian-Casuals took the lead.  A cross and a tap in doing the damage this time.

I am not saying this game was boring but my son informed me seven trains passed by during the game.  I wish he had alerted me to this sideshow earlier as it could have spared me watching Leatherhead surrender possession within midfield with alarming regularity.  I could have admired the latest South West Trains livery instead of the slumped shoulders of players that looked very much beaten.

So it is home to Worthing next Saturday.  No trains to watch but we are on a flight path, so passenger plane spotting could be on the cards...

Travelling Tanners

Lock up your referee assistants, we are going to Corinthian-Casuals.  We travel to Tolworth in search of a little bit of revenge.  In the home game, in truth, we were bullied a bit by a side pumped up on the injustice of a dodgy penalty.  They also took their chances where we fluffed our lines.

The table proves to be as dynamic as ever this year, with us returning to the comfort of mid table but a loss would send our hosts above us.

Kick-off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there.

Tanners 2 - 1 Potters Bar

This game was quickly chalked up to be a "must win" as a loss would see our guests go above us while make the relegation zone loom large.  Therefore both clubs set out with the task of who could look more average.

Potters Bar certainly looked more average than us, by virtue of the fact we were looking distinctly lacking in most departments.  The warning signs were there before Potters Bar scored, in the end a simple through ball and a confident finish made it 0-1.

Thankfully Leatherhead upped their game.  Dan Gallagher bossed midfield while Travis looked lively.  It was through Travis we equalised; latching onto a calmly placed Jerry pass to beat the 'keeper near post.

Into the second half and Leatherhead looked a lot better and it wasn't long after the restart we made it 2-1.  Amoo, back to his lively self, sent in a perfect ball for Olutade to get his head onto.  Normally we would expect a diving header to fly over the bar but he found the roof of the net to score a goal to be proud of.

The ref', who had quite a good first half, then took centre stage,  Leatherhead would feel they could have had two penalties, certainly the second appeal looked more certain when the defender took out Sean first before even getting close to the ball. 

Try as he might, the ref' couldn't bring about the equaliser - despite some good pressure from the visitors - and the must win was won.

Corinthian Casuals next week, I hope it is a calmer affair than the last game...

Potters Bar are coming

After the disappointment of the Mole Valley derby, we entertain Potters Bar today and a real chance to get back to winning ways.

Potters Bar have enjoyed a similar journey in the league to us; sitting just one point behind us.

Kick off at 3pm, see you there.

Dorking Wanderers 2 - 0 Tanners

In a match of David and Goliath, The Goliath of Leatherhead was slayed by the Dorking David; armed only with a sling, a free ground and a squad heavily subsidised by Denbies.

I have to say, I felt like an old man entering the ground.  Reminiscing of the natural banked terraces that could easily cope with a large crowd.  This new modern stadium seemed to lack this (the camber of the area behind the far goal seemed to ebb away, reducing the opportunity to view the game for example)  and would surely fail to live up to the 2,500 capacity it boasts.   A ten minute delay was needed for a crowd 1,000 shy of this.

Leatherhead did not really threaten.  We had a shot on goal that looked certain to beat the 'keeper that went wide but other than that it was either tame or direct at the 'keeper.  The first half was dominated by a ref that loved the attention and dished out yellow cards for not much really

Dorking hardly set the world alight but were clinical when needed.  Sole latching onto to a through ball in the first half and a clinical finish in the second.

No New Year's Day game for us; we are home to Potters Bar on Saturday...

Travelling Tanners

Finally Leatherhead get to play this rearranged fixture from March, and a chance to finally see Dorking's publicly funded new stadium.

Dorking started the season as the pacesetters but have dropped away in recent weeks.

Kick off at 3pm.  In the £1-an-hour car park by 11am.  See you there.

Tanners 1 - 0 Carshalton

A last gasp winner to warm the hearts of the Leatherhead fans who are scratching their heads over what has gone wrong this Christmas.  Normally Santa brings you presents, but this year the fat bugger appears to have made off with D'Sean and £30,000 of FA Cup winnings.

The first half was difficult to watch.  Firstly, we changed ends and played towards the Leisure Centre end which means you miss some of the game when going to the queue for the tea bar.  Also, Leatherhead continued to play some overly ambitious long diagonal balls that were cut out with ease.

Second half and we managed to string some nice moves together and looked a lot more threatening.  When Gallagher struck the bar and the follow-up blasted over it looked like our it wasn't going to be our day (Carshalton also hit the woodwork) but we found a way to break the deadlock.

The sub made a massive difference.  Rob Cullen came on and just added the composure required in these situations.  Then in the last minute of normal time a ball was swung into the box that saw Sean, Ibrrahim and a defender converge on the ball.  Some thought Sean had headed it home, I thought it was an own goal, but tit was Ibrahim with the decisive touch.

On to Saturday, and the much awaited trip to Dorking Wanderers and their flash new ground...

Carshalton are coming...

Shhh... don't tell the club they've forgotten to rearrange this fixture for 10am. This Boxing Day game kicks off at the optimum time of 3pm at should see a big crowd come to The Grove.

If you can have a bogey team after just a couple of games it would be Carshalton. A clear handball on the line went unpunished in the league fixture, while a stunning comeback saw us knocked out in a bizarre penalty shootout.

With a 2-0 defeat in the game before Christmas, Leatherhead will say their bad form is behind them. Oh yes it is... oh no it isn't...

Carshalton are coming...

Shhh... don't tell the club they've forgotten to rearrange this fixture for 10am. This Boxing Day game kicks off at the optimum time of 3pm at should see a big crowd come to The Grove.

If you can have a bogey team after just a couple of games it would be Carshalton. A clear handball on the line went unpunished in the league fixture, while a stunning comeback saw us knocked out in a bizarre penalty shootout.

With a 2-0 defeat in the game before Christmas, Leatherhead will say their bad form is behind them. Oh yes it is... oh no it isn't...

Folkestone Invicta 2 - 0 Tanners

I missed this game as I made a rare trip watching Southampton away to Huddersfield.  A team that have been revitalised thanks to their new manager, "The Klopp of the Alps".  Meanwhile our very own Mansell of Hastings is struggling to maintain similar form.

Disappointing cup exits gave way to scintillating form, which gave way to crushing defeats, then green shoots of recovery then 2-0 defeats on the road to a side we were showing ambitions of overtaking.

The damage in this game, to make matter worse, was Ian Draycott.  An ex-Leatherhead player who found the net twice, which somehow feels like his goal tally for us in the 2013/14 season.

On to Boxing Day and the arrival of Bubble & Squeak, unwanted relatives and Carshalton Athletic...

Travelling Tanners

Time to avenge probably the worst Leatherhead performance in about 20 years when we travel to Folkestone tomorrow.  The 5-1 thrashing was the icing on a pretty crappy cake, having been just knocked out of the FA Cup the game before.

All eyes will also be on Harlow, following the comments from Spencer football genius Knight.  If Harlow lose (again) I can only imagine it is because he has become distracted with news linking him with the Man United job.

Back to us though.  Directions can be found here.  Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas!

Harlow 2 - 2 Tanners

This Christmas spare a thought for those less fortunate than yourself.

Take poor Spencer Knight for example, the Harlow Town Assistant Manager. 

He thinks we "are probably ones of the worst teams he has seen in 20 years of non-league football."

https://www.youtube.com/embed/wzZ31KgEmiA

Let's look at that statement more closely. Harlow are in the relegation zone, failed to beat us at home and have 7 points less than us. I suggest he sees a worse team than Leatherhead play twice a week every week.

Poor Spencer had a very average football career. He never played league football. His little team only attracted 167 souls yesterday and only average 236.  So this year spare a thought for poor Tiny Spencer and his little club and send him a message of goodwill.

Oh, by the way, Ibrahim and Shaun scored the goals for us today. Shaun now has 9 league goals for the season. Just one behind Jason Prior (who would have got Merstham promoted) and 5 behind the leader Jamie Cureton.   A fine start to the game but Harlow forced their way back into the game, making it 2-2.

Today's draw leaves us rooted to lower mid-table. We travel to Folkestone on Saturday in an attempt to avenge a horrible FA Trophy performance.  If you are desperate to avoid Christmas shopping, or countless relatives arriving from Brazil, you know where to go.

Merstham 0 - 2 Tanners

The outstanding performance of the evening went to Mick Sullivan for insightful interviews with Nikki Bull and Hayden Bird.

The award for most stupid idea went to Merstham for switching the game and keeping the reason secret. I can only think that Hayden Bird is going to see Julian Clary in Snow White at the London Palladium on Wednesday night. Anyway Merstham were suitably punished with a crowd of 138 and a 2-0 defeat. Oh yes they were.

Nikki Bull threw in a new suggestion for the recent poor run during his post match interview. He has almost moved on from blaming the budget (although he stated that was why Charlie was not staying for another month). Apparently we haven't had a training facility for 8 weeks and the players are having to train in Richard Bligh's back garden and get changed in his kitchen. Though I understand Richard is a charming host and makes very nice mince pies.

By all accounts it was a much better performance although, like most others, I wasn't there as I had a prior engagement. Goals came from Shaun and Ibrahim.

The last word goes to Hayden Bird who claimed Merstham would be top of the league is Jason Prior played for them. Now that's a better joke than you will find in any Christmas Cracker. 

Travelling Tanners

Merstham clearly have no interest in European football and rearrange Wednesday's game for tonight.  You could argue we have no interest either as we agreed to it.

Leatherhead will hope to avoid a rather embarrassing mirror image of their November by losing four games in a row after winning four.  Something to reflect on...

Kick off at 7.45.  Directions can be found here.  Good luck fellas!

Tanners 0 - 1 Brightlingsea Regent

After three straight defeats, that is the smile well and truly wiped of Nikki Bull's face.  With Leatherhead winning on aggregate 9-1 last season we could perhaps be forgiven for thinking this game was going to be straight forward and, dare I say it, entertaining but the game seemed boring even before kick off.

Something was missing today.  The pre-match music was subdued off the pitch and the likes of Amoo seemed quieter on it.  The visitors played their part by wasting time throughout and had the ref' well and truly sold on their defenders' falling over in the box move.

We huffed and puffed until we were stunned by a Van Basten-esque strike from a tight angle that found the side netting early in the second half.  With few supporters making the trip the goal was greeted by an eerie silence.  The goal was in fact completely missed by one supporter who commented in the car park on the way out that "at least it was a point".  I had to put him right... I had suffered 90 minutes of this crap and I was taking anyone down with me.

Off to Harlow on Saturday.  A chance to sing jingle bells and imagine what fun it would be to win away... or anywhere for that matter!

Brightlingsea Regent

Brightlingsea Regent make the long trip from their sleepy seaside town to face a Leatherhead side they've yet to beat.  

Our last encounter was a strange affair where Jerry got a hat trick by taking a penalty... imagine scoring from a penalty!

Kick off at 3pm. See you there!

Lewis 1 - 0 Tanners

After all the excitement and hope of 4 straight wins come 2 defeats of our own making.

We lost to Corinthian Casuals through the indiscipline of our players arguing about penalty takers, and the indiscipline of our supporters who would up the opposition. Casuals lost tamely at Wingate today with no opposition supporters to motivate them.

In dreadful conditions today at Lewes, we gave the points away when Zak was beaten to a header at the far post by Will Seager. 

Where do we go from here? Is it down to the lake I fear?

Tanners 1 - 2 Corinthian-Casuals

Leatherhead's winning streak was brought to an end by a Corinthian-Casual side that could flit from being streetwise to phsychotic with gay abandon.

The first half was a proper game of football.  End to end stuff with Leatherhead probably carving out more chances.  Charlie gave their 'keeper a warning sign when his long range shot had him scrambling across goal to only hit the side netting.  Moments later Amoo danced past a defender to slot him home via the near post.  A few weeks ago those chances would have gone out for a throw-in.

The ref played his part.  With the look of a P.E. teacher he trotted around given silly little fouls in order for him to find an excuse to run somewhere and then run back again,  As a supporter of the losing it is needless to say he was completely biased towards the visitors and it was from a very dubious foul Casuals launched the final attack of the game that made it 1-1.

The second half was a very different kettle of fish where the tone changed largely due to the ref.  He awarded a very dubious penalty... well... it wasn't a penalty at all.  The defender clearly won the ball and the visitors went ballistic, so ballistic the ref at one point turned to the crowd looking for help.  I didn't know where to put myself so suddenly found an email on my phone to attend to.  Travis stepped up and with Corinthian spirit struck it directly at the 'keeper.  Sporting.

From there on we were bullied by a side in full crazy mode as the game descended into a Sunday league style street fight.  On saving the penalty their no 10 was quick to offer a fight with any supporter who would care to listen.  He was back when they scored a tap in from a slip in defence with his excessive goading earning him a yellow card despite Casuals trying to get him subbed off.  We continued to attack and after a header went wide our attention was drawn to a Casuals player who started to violently threaten the assistant.  It took a red card and all his team mates to get him to leave the pitch under the supervision of two stewards.  The cause of the unrest was allegedly due to a comment about the player's grandfather... keep your Werther's Originals comments to yourself in future, officials!

Charlie was sent off too a few minutes later for two clumsy challenges and thus allowed the ref to tick the "evened it up" box in the unofficial law book.

So, players subbed off instead of being sent off; players sent off for attacking an official; I said something happened "more quicker"... utter chaos.  Hopefully we can all re-group and site down and ask what our mothers' would think of this all and try again Saturday with a trip to Lewes...

Corinthian-Casuals are coming

Storm Diana may have the final say on this one.  Persistent rain could well see this one being called off.  Hopefully a delay will not dampen the spirit in the Leatherhead team which sees us in fine form. 

Four wins all season looked unlikely a month ago but we have strung and impressive string of results against some of the best teams in the league.  Keep an eye out for possible pitch inspections etc...

Kick off at 7.45.  See you there.

Tonbridge Angels 0 - 2 Tanners

Two sides who have had a remarkable turnaround in form met at the Longmead Stadium on a murky day.

Tonbridge have scored just 1 goal in 4 league games and couldn't score today for all the tea in China. In contrast we are on fire and have scored 11 in 4 league games.

Tonbridge is a very pleasant place to visit:

- Not too far to drive
- Ample parking
- Great burgers with imaginative names
- Civilised supporters
- A neat ground without a ludicrous numbers of stewards (ahem)
- And not a single high viz photographer in sight to spoil the view

Often that is where the hospitality ends but today the home side were subdued. We started well enough and were awarded a penalty when Amoo was bought down by the 'keeper. He converted it himself low into the corner. D'Sean added a 2nd just before half time with an accurate strike from the edge of the box.

The 2nd half saw a barn door placed behind our goal but despite countless attempts Tonbridge failed to hit it. Dan Gallagher was our man of the match today for his tireless tackling and distribution and he helped to ensure that we held on for a 2-0 win.

We now sit in 12th place and can start to look around us. There are no teams to fear in the league this season. Least of all Dorking.

Travelling Tanners

After a string of home games, Leatherhead hit the road and travel to Tonbridge Angels who sit in second place.

Despite our run of form, this will be a tough game and I predict plenty of nervous trips to the Tea Bar.

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas!

Tanners 3 - 0 Burgess Hill Town

Whilst Sammy Moore's Dad's Army of Old Pros are starting to groan and creak on a remote marshland, Nikki Bull has been carefully building a young side full of enthusiastic players with their best years ahead of them.

This was our 3rd win on the bounce, and the team that could scarcely score a goal a couple of weeks ago are now brimming with confidence and have scored 9 goals in 3 games.

Jeremiah Amoo opened the scoring on 19' with a powerful shot from the edge of the box. The rest of the first half was closely fought and we were happy to go in to the break with a narrow lead.

We had the better of the chances in the 2nd half but it wasn't until 80' that Sean put us 2-0 up with a well taken header. A Burgess Hill sub who had only been on 2 minutes earned a straight red for a flying 2 footed challenge and Burgess Hill were finished. Jeremiah made it 3-0 whilst defenders stood around looking at each other in a feeble attempt to play offside.

There were great scenes of celebration around the ground at the final whistle but not just because of the result. It was because news had spread that the photographers and cameramen finally had enough shots of the crowd and would be moving on.

Tanners can travel to Tonbridge Angels on Saturday to see if we will maintain our progress.

Burgess Hill Town are coming

Nikki Bull broke all records after our stunning win 4-1 over Enfield Town on Saturday when he sneaked his first smile into a post match interview. 

There were joyous scenes as the players left the pitch and no one will slope off if we win tonight. We have the chance to leapfrog 4 places into 14th leaving us just 6 points off the play-offs with a game in hand.

First we have to find a chink in the armour of Burgess Hill Town who beat the yellow men of Merstham so convincingly at the weekend.

Tanners 4 (four) - 1 Enfield Town

A truly outstanding attacking display in the first half marked this down as the performance of the season.

The Enfield Town players must have awarded themselves the three points before they got into their cars this morning. They were strangely lacklustre and looked annoyed that we had forced them to travel 60 miles around the M25. By the time they realised we were much better than the league table suggests it was too late. They were 3-0 down and there was only 17 minutes on the clock.

Travis had opened the scoring with a cool finish at the near post. The pace and width of Travis and Jeremiah were a handful all game and Enfield had no answer. Charlie fired in from a corner for the 2nd, and Sean got the third with a powerful header. Fetcham Grove was buzzing to the sound of an Enfield drum as went in at half time 3-0.

The second half was a more even affair but we were still creating chances. Shaun Okojie has had a frustrating season at times but he was outstanding today, full of energy, and winning every header. A stunning finish at a tight angle gave him his 2nd we were 4-0 up. An uncharacteristic error gave Enfield a consolation goal. 

Passengers flying B.A. to China were delighted to find that 17 cameras around Fetcham Grove were streaming the game live on the inflight entertainment. The cabin crew waived away complaints from one particularly awkward passenger that most of the coverage was of the supporters behind the goal.

Our fifth and final home league game in a row sees the visit of Burgess Hill Town on Wednesday. They had a good win today over the ever bitter Merstham so we can expect a tough game.

Enfield Town are coming

Another home game pops up and we entertain Enfield Town.

While a fine comeback and a win will boost the confidence, our guests sit in fourth place so will be a tougher test.

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas!

Tanners 2 - 1 Ks

This was a very similar performance to the games v Bognor and Margate except this time the footballing gods could bear it no more and smiled down upon us.

A very early goal by the homeless Ks left the Tanners fans shaking their heads and reaching for the Valium, but Travis came to the rescue just a few minutes later with a well taken goal.

The rest of the first half was fairly even and it wasn't until 51 minutes that D'Sean showed why Jimmy Bullard played him as an attacking midfielder (to be fair Jimmy played everyone as attacking midfielders). Sean made room for himself on the edge of the box and bent the ball into the corner of the net.

The ref had seen the league table and didn't like the scoreline one bit. He proceeded to try and get a equaliser by booking 3 Leatherhead players for very little reason, and giving free kicks to Ks at every opportunity. He did his best but this time we held out for the 3 points and clawed out of the relegation zone.

The dream of scoring 3 goals in a league game lives on but for now this hard fought win will do.

Ks are coming

After only having three home games they have come thick and fast.  While this was just one explanation as to why points were hard to come by the recent run of results does not reflect home is necessarily where the heart is.

Ks come to the Grove having come to terms with their new Tolworth home and sit in 10th place.

Kick off at 7.45.  See you there!

Tanners 0 - 1 Margate

Another disappointing defeat yesterday as Leatherhead failed, yet again, to take advantage of their superior possession.

The One That Screams for Margate was practically an air raid siren as raid after raid on the visitors' goal was either wasted or thwarted.  None more so in the second half when he hit the bar for the third game in a row (at least).  Leatherhead are practically relying on luck to get a goal now.  We need the 'keeper to through it in the back of the net or a mole to pop up and head it home...

The second half was tricky as we were debating when we would start shouting at the ref that the game should be abandoned, such was the deluge at half time which left a large puddle in the goal mouth.  Our claims were made weaker when the ball skipped through the area perfectly into their 'keepers hands and weaker still when we conceded so late in the game.  After 80 odd minutes of diligent defending a moment lapse let a player break free with the ball and was crudely brought down to give away a penalty.  It was coolly dispatched to ruin a day that was only mildly ruined by again people dicking around with cameras behind the goal.

Ks on Wednesday then... buckle up!

Margate are coming

Margate come to The Grove in this rearranged fixture. I feared for this one going ahead after last night's deluge, but no news is hopefully good news.

A second half performance, akin to the one we saw at Carshalton, but for 90 minutes will do the trick.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there.

Carshalton 2 - 2 Tanners (3-2 on penalties)

In a bid to concentrate on the league, you have to admire Leeatherhad's dedication to the cause.  To be out of all cups - three on the first time of asking - by 5 November is a truly outstanding effort.  This master plan was nearly ruined last night when a second half saw us come back from 2-0 down to take the game to penalties.

The first half was a terrible affair.  A real pre-season friendly feel to it, with both sides going through the motions.  There game was there for the taking for any side that really wanted it.  Arguably we had the most chances but it was Carshalton that were more clinical.  A cross and a thumping header for the first and some individual skill, a flick over the head of a defender and a cool finish, for the second while we hit the bar and went wide.

Second half it was a very different kettle of fish.  Leatherhead wanted something from the game, even Carshalton wanted to win, and the game was better for it.  Our opening goal came from a ball driven low into the back post, tantalising in that neither defender nor 'keeper knew who was going to deal with it.  Luckily Sean knew what to do and slipped it past the stranded 'keeper.

We pushed for an equaliser and and after seeing the ball strike the bar and then go narrowly wide we thought we had missed our chance but the ref saved us.  He was a players ref.  No bookings, full of smiles, taps on bottoms, jokes etc. and he didn't want to blow the whistle when a side was in possession and attacking.  This allowed us one last cross and Sean was at hand to score the kind of header that is a joy to watch; powerful, back across goal, unstoppable.

The ref immediately blew his whistle after the restart so momentum was truly on our side.  Memories of Hanwell were fresh in our minds; there was no way we were going to muck this up...

So it seemed when their centre back stepped up first and Zak saved.  Sean then stepped up and a small conversation broke out as to whether this goal would constitute a hat trick or not... this matter was resolved by his attempt going wide.  0-0 and my job of keeping count was being made easy.

The next two were made (1-1) and then Carshalton took the advantage (2-1).  The shoot out took a sudden twist when Zak then stepped up to take one.  While you have to admire his courage, you can't his technique as it was blasted into orbit.  Zak did make amends by saving the next one.  D'Sean scored to make it 2-2 and then into the crux of the matter... the sudden death of the fifth penalty.  Carshalton scored and then with our fifth it was all over.  Such a poor penalty would be hard to find.  For this attempt to score the 'keeper would have needed to dive the wrong way, boil an egg and then slip on something.  As it happens he guessed right and saved it with ease.

Back to league duties then, with the visit of Margate on Saturday!

Tanners 2 - 2 Bognor Regis

Leatherhead fans needed to see signs that the club was back on the up yesterday and for much of the game they got that.  No more so in the first half where Leatherhead looked by far the most comfortable of the two sides.

Our opening goal came from Sean, a swivelling strike with a hint of miss hit that did enough to beat the 'keeper.  By contrast a similar yet more cleanly hit strike from Travis deserved a goal bu twas well saved.

On the stroke of half time we had an open goal but missed our chance... where have we seen that before...

The second half was a marked contrast.  We were absolutely hopeless for about 20-25 minutes; long enough to allow our guests to score from the simplest of tap-ins at the far post.  The reaction of the Leatherhead supports was captured in High ruddy Definition as no less than three people in high-viz dicked around with three cameras; sticking them in peoples faces when really we would just like to watch the bloody game we had paid to watch.  PLEASE DO NOT REPEAT.

Leatherhead did respond.   The changes that Nikki made seemed to unsettle us, but soon they clicked and Cullen in particular lead the attack.  His classy pass fed in the newly signed Olutade who squeezed his shot under the 'keeper.  2-1!

Bognor Regis fancied their chances and piled on the pressure, narrowly going wide just before they got their goal.  Deep into stoppage time, their player danced past three tackles before finding room to shoot.  His fast feet must have allowed him to think he was Neymar as he pulled the trigger and found the top corner from distance.  A great goal, but a massive blow to Nikki Bull.

On to Carshalton and the inevitable cup exit on Monday night...

Bognor Regis are coming

After all that unnecessary distraction of the FA Competitions, Leatherhead can concentrate on the league after freeing themselves from these shackles so brilliantly last week.

Bognor Regis will be the dose of smelling salts and a slap in the face to bring us back round; they sit in fifth place.  A raft of signings come in to help us compete at this level.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there.

Folkestone 5 - 1 Tanners

We have had better weeks. Knocked out of 2 cups. Shipped 7 goals. Missed out on £28,250. Dropped into the relegation zone. 

From the moment Folkestone opened the scoring on 7 minutes it looked like we were going to be on the wrong end of a hiding. The players looked tired and demoralised after playing 120 minutes just 3 days ago. 

Folkestone were 3-0 up at half time and even the chalk horse up on the hill hardly needed to get out of a canter. It doesn't actually look much like a horse anyway.

After 63 minutes we were 5 down and talk turned to the last time we got battered 7 or 8 nil. Fortunately, Folkestone started to lose interest and feel sorry for us even allowing Sean a consolation goal on 79 minutes. 

It will be a long hard winter of discontent if we don't start winning some league games soon.

Travelling Tanners

As one cup door closes another one opens. Although the FA Trophy door doesn't normally stay open for too long.

We travel to Folkestone, the scene of a famous play-off victory under the leadership of Richard Brady (whatever became of him) in 2014. We won 3-1 on penalties after finishing extra time 1-1. The legendary Tom Bradbrook had put us in the lead on 13 minutes. This was revenge for a play off semi final defeat on penalties in 2010. 

Will tired legs and deflated minds recover enough for us to put in a good showing tomorrow in an attempt win £3,250? After all we are the famous Leatherhead and we've been to Wembley although there have been 40 years of hurt in this competition since then......

Tanners 1 - 2 Hitchin Town (AET)

Hitchin Town proved to be an H too far.  In a season jam-packed with mediocre performances this game stood out from the rest. It was even worse.

Our luck in the previous three rounds of the FA Cup by drawing teams from lower leagues came to an end as we were cruelly forced to play a team at our own level.

Hitchin were more streetwise, more experienced and had a plan. We were devoid of ideas and toothless. Jerry stood out again by defending heroically, also scoring our goal, but generally we are indecisive, horribly out of form, and lacking in any confidence.

We squeezed past Hanwell from the level below with one goal in 210 minutes. In the league we have scored just 8 goals in 810 minutes. (Excluding Haverhill of Level 5) Elliot hasn't scored a single goal all season and Sean hasn't scored since September 8th.  So by having the penalty well saved on the stroke of half-time, it was always likely to be an uphill struggle.

Hitchin Town brought up extra-time with a goal on 70 minutes and from there our best hopes were in penalties, but we failed to keep the guests out who by now and the smell of blood in their nostrils.

The midfield lacks an enforcer and a leader. D'Sean was originally a winger so not sure why he is now expected to be Dennis Wise. Dan is left to valiantly try and protect the defence on his own. We set up to get the ball wide and get in crosses, but no one has noticed that we have no natural headers of the ball.

We are less than the sum of our parts.

Hitchin Are Coming

Hitchin Town come to the Grove tonight, fresh from hobnobbing with the BBC, to decide who has the right to play Solihull Moors in the FA Cup First Round Proper.

Leatherhead may feel they missed their chance, given the "advantage" of having a man advantage for 70 minutes but will hopefully be confident given the experiences gained from our last replay.

Kick off at 7.45. Good luck fellas.

Hitchin 1 - 1 Tanners

Leatherhead get into the hat for tonight's draw, but failed again succumbed to the curse of playing a team reduce to 10 men.

Leatherhead were dealt this blow just 20 minutes into the first half.  The ref deemed a foot to be raised and so a straight red card shown. 

Early in the second half, Leatherhead scored a goal that many would have thought would be enough to take us through into the second round.  Travis pouncing on a ball in the box to prod it home from close range.

The ref was a bit of a ponce though and gave a soft penalty to HItchin to even out the soft red card which allowed the hosts to score and take this game to a replay. 

The location of the televised draw remains with the self-declared underdogs of Hitchin... but all eyes will be on who the prize of winning the replay will be.  Sunderland away anyone?

Travelling Tanners

This is the big one.  We are off to Hitchin Town.  That said, and I don't know if it is because I am flying to Azerbaijan on Saturday, I feel the game seems to be understated this year.  Both teams seem keen to be seen as  the underdog by losing their games and tickets still remain available on the coach.

Nevertheless, tomorrow is massive.  A real shot at the £25,000 and the chance to be in the same hat as the likes of Sunderland.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  Good luck fellas.

Wingate & Finchley 1 - 0 Tanners

Leatherhead earned the right to the title of underdogs against Hitchin with a weary first half performance that ultimately cost us the game.

After 120 minutes of commitment and hard work against Hanwell on Tuesday and £15,000 (see refund terms and conditions) it is hard to be too critical.

For Wingate & Finchley, this was the first game in charge for Nicky Shorey.  He had a quite illustrious career with Villa, Forrest and Fulham before joining West Brom for £1.3m in 2010. He went on to make 2 full international appearances for England which is two better than Jimmy Bullard.  However, if he is anything like Jimmy Bullard as a manger he will soon get bored and give up.

The usual goal against us by MCS came on just 18 minutes. We struggled to cope with Storm Callum in the first half which blew everything out of play. In the 2nd half we were much better and had numerous chances on goal. Unfortunately, our two main strikers seem to have left their shooting boots at their previous clubs.

The sooner we get to play Sunderland in the FA Cup the better. We can then concentrate on the league.

Travelling Tanners

After the drama of the penalty shoot out, Leatherhead must now focus on the the league and a trip to Wingate & Finchley.  Our hosts sit just one pont behind behind us and a loss would start to make the season look like a bit of a dog fight.  On a plus note, it my allow us to claim the "underdog" status that Hitchin were so quick to take up...

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  Good luck fellas!

Hanwell 0 - 0 Tanners (Tanners win 4-2 on penalties)

There was no winner in this game; just a murderer and an accomplice.  On arriving at Hanwell, I was rather impressed with the outfit.  Friendly and an amazing playing surface, but any goodwill for the club soon dissipated when the rhythm of the game was constantly disrupted by cynical foul after cynical foul.  The ref appeared to prefer talking to the home side while dishing out yellows to the Tanners in the early part of the game, although this balanced itself out towards the end of the game.

Their 'keeper is a chatty type, who received dog's abuse in the home tie, who engaged in friendly "banter but I can't help feel he talks a lot of crap.  He started by telling me their scoreboard was donated from Brentford, which turned out to be not quite true.  He then went on to say the pitch was maintained by the centre back, number 6 was Glenn Tamplin's cousin and they had subbed off their two best penalty takers.  Well, the last part may be true...

The game was horrible.  A pre-match interview on Talk Sport had Nikki Bull saying how he wanted the young team to express themselves.  Unless he has picked the dullest bunch of players ever assembled that never really happened.  There were flashes of mediocrity to lift the mood, but any advance down the wing was turn turned into an array of backward and side ways passes.  Hanwell were well organised and gratefully accepted the gift and played their part in making the game as dull as possible.

In the second half was perhaps our better half where we struck the woodwork twice from set pieces.  That said Zak needed to be pretty decisive in some of his saves.  Extra time, Jesus... what was the point?  Hanwell probably edged it but certainly they seemed happy to go into penalties.

There is only one thing more disappointing in life than not getting what you want and that is getting it.  Hanwell wanted penalties and they were given a masterclass in how to save them from Zak.  Their first spot kick had Zak guessing correctly, with two hands behind it, but some how it squirmed in.  We then levelled.  Then a special word for their number 7, happy to blow ironic kisses at the travelling fans when we accused of him of diving and wasting time (which he was) only for him to miss the first with the worst kick of the night.  Pucker up!  The 'keeper regained his pantomime villain status by flicking the ball over D'Sean's head as he approached the spot to try and add to the pressure; it didn't matter, he scored.

Zak got his and to the next penalty but it went in off of the post.  Where are we, I've lost count?  We scored to make it 3-2 and then Zak saved again giving us a chance to win with the next kick.  Cooney stepped up and slotted it home to book us into the next round and add another £15,000 to the FA Repayment Fund.

Great times.

Travelling Tanners

Yesterday's draw of Hitchin Town (new ground klaxon) makes this replay even more significant.  For the second year running we have avoided teams higher in the pyramid and while Hitchin are at the same level, it could have been a lot worse.  We could have be drawn against Dover or something.

However, tonight's hosts will have aspirations of travelling to Hertfordshire themselves and if they equip themselves as well as they did on Saturday they may achieve that.

Kick off at 7.45pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Tanners 1 - 1 Hanwell Town

Very heavy weather indeed and then it started to rain.

Alfie Cue scored in injury to spare our blushes and also spared Hanwell £15,000. Well at least for now.

It wasn't just at Fetcham Grove that people were worried. There were furrowed brows at the F.A. as well. After all, Hanwell may be well organised enough to keep their winnings.

Leatherhead huffed and puffed and played more backwards and sideways passes than Kevin Spacey at a drama school. We dominated possession but were mostly toothless and bereft of creative ideas against a well organised and totally committed Hanwell defence who only had 10 men for 40 minutes.

Never mind. All is forgiven. Let's play better on Tuesday. Much better.

Hanwell Town are coming

I'm going to stick my neck out here and say two sides have never met before. Tomorrow we welcome Hanwell town to fetch some growth in this FA Cup third qualifying round tie.

Winning this will officially see us on a cup run.  Lose it and it's over to Crowd Funding for repairs.

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas.

Plastic Pitch 1 - 1 Tanners

A unnatural bounce took Zak by surprise and prevented us from taking all 3 points away from Sussex by the Sea.

A superb crowd of 906 weren't afraid to leave the in laws at home and came to watch the Levred.

Woody and Chloe had enjoyed a pre-match Cod and Chips on the seafront and all was going wonderfully until the 89th minute and that bounce.

Nevertheless this was probably our best performance of the season especially the first half when we were lively and creative. 
Wednesday's home league game has been postponed as Corinthian Casuals have a cup match.

Travelling Tanners

Today's game couldn't get much tougher.  A trip to Worthing is a tricky affair at the best of times, chuck in their form and plastic pitch and this could head south quickly.

Leatherhead have shown real progress though, and scoring a few goals in the FA Cup can only boost confidence.

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas.

Hanwel Town at home

The reward for getting through to the third qualifying round is a home tie to Hanwell Town.  A team going quite well (7th) in the Bostik South Central Division. 

The game is to be played on yet another weekend I find myself away!  6 October.

Haverhill 0 - 6 Tanners

This was a case of Men v Boys. The Men went to watch an FA Cup game at Haverhill. The Boys went to pick up in-laws on the instruction of the wife.

This was one of the easiest draws we could have got as Haverhill are at level 5 but that hasn't stopped us losing to teams at this level in years gone by.

Haverhill have a tidy ground and a superb pitch and slightly American Football style supporters with a silly drum and trumpet. Mostly they were here to enjoy the day and no one seemed that concerned when we opened the scoring through Sean on 8 minutes.

Man for man we were too strong for Haverhill despite their henpecking, and it never looked likely that we would be under the thumb for too long. Robert added a 2nd and we went into the convivial bar 2 up. 

We started the 2nd half with real purpose and soon went 3 up thru Elliott then 4 up thru Elliott. He then got promptly subbed. That will teach him to score 2 goals. He didn't want a hat trick anyway.

Travis made it 5-0 from the spot then scored again for 6-0 to complete a comprehensive win.  As a lucky omen, I also missed the game we scored heavily last year... Let's hope for a nice home draw in the next round.

Travelling Tanners

I'm not having the best of weekends.  After months of training, the 100 mile ride I was going to undertake (the Velo South) was cancelled due to bad weather.  In addition, my Brazilian family land from Brazil at 4pm and we need two cars pick them up, which results in me missing this tantalising game. 

That wouldn't have been so bad as I had an AirBNB booked for myself just outside Chicester by a country pub tonight for myself but I am not going there either ON ACCOUNT OF THE BLOODY RIDE BEING CALLED OFF!

...and breathe.  The new ground klaxon sounds as you lot travel to Haverhill of the Eastern Counties League Premier Division.  They sit near the bottom with only a win and a draw, but have played a couple of games less while they enjoy their progress in the Cup.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  Good luck fellas.

Potters Bar 0 - 1 Tanners

Everything about this game screamed scrappy. Arduous road conditions, the scrap to find a parking space... hell, it was so scrappy the lady in the tea bar needed to take a break 15 minutes into the game and shut up shop for 10 minutes.

On the pitch Leatherhead equipped themselves well and certainly were the better team in the first half.  Our goal came from Cullen, who struck his shot from just inside the area into the top corner after the home side failed to clear. 

We struck the bar from distance too but, on the whole , chances were hard to come by but we went off the happier side.  As Nikki Bull strode off I was impressed with his maintaining of the high line with regards to his tie; the point coming halfway down his chest.  I assume this is because he allows for some dramatic unloosening of it as the stress levels build in the second half.

Predictably it was indeed Potters Bar who came out firing and were now creating some clear cut chances; Zac earning every penny of his clean sheet bonus.

Nikki Bull's tie would have been nestling perfectly on his belt as Sean missed a one on one with the 'keeper at a time when we really needed the second goal but we held on to get a valuable win on the road.

FA Cup duty next week!

Travelling Tanners

Tomorrow we travel to newly promoted Potters Bar FC in the league after the distraction of the cup games.  Both clubs are safely through to the next round in the FA Cup while deciding that the league cup is too much effort and crashing out.

NEW GROUND KLAXON!

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there

Tanners 0 - 1 Worthing

A smattering of 1st team players.

A modicum of interest amongst the supporters.

More than a hint of Autumn in the air.

A strong Worthing side full of confidence.

A weakened Tanners side with unfamiliar faces.

The predictable late Worthing goal.

The regular early League Cup exit.

Worthing Are Coming

The Velocity Trophy (!?) tonight and Worthing arrive to the Grove in fine form. Second place and going well.

The FA Cup will hopefully provide a boost to the team both in terms of the result and the draw taking us to pastures new.

Kick off at 7.45.  Good luck fellas.

Tanners 2 - 0 Herne Bay

Leatherhead book a place in a bag to have Trevor Brooking fondle us into the next round.  Herne Bay are not enjoying life in the league below, so without form on their side they would just have to go toe to toe with us and in th first half we proved too strong. 

A great deal of possession and creativity, particularly from D'Sean, was rewarded when Sean tucked away a shot from close range via the post.

Second half and Leatherhead started slipping down the gears effortlessly.  From dominant, to comfortable to defencive to pensive.  It was at this moment I sensed it was the moment to give Leatherhead their important second goal by loudly announcing I needed the toilet.

It worked as a long ball and found Deacon on the wing; under pressure he moved past the returning defenders to power a shot into the bottom corner.

2-0 the game safe and everyone felt relieved.  The draw in Monday...

Herne Bay are coming

The "magic" of the cup comes to Leatherhead today at a difficult time for Leatherhead.  Any progress shown since the opening game of the season took a knock wih the defeat last weekend, where in the second half we looked rather lost.

Leatherhead have been boosted with the return of two of last year's FA Cup heroes, plus a further signing which will hopefully allow the side to bounce back.

Pulitzer prize winning interviews at 2.30; kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Tanners 1 - 3 Harlow Town

Disappointing.  Leatherhead fans probably went into this game fancying their chances.  We have shown some good signs of making progress, while our opposition is having a torrid time (albeit after just a handful of games).

Despite Harlow missing a free header, it was Leatherhead who started the game looking the most accomplished.  Harlow's defence was easily fooled and we pulled them apart like a well done chicken.  Sean forcing a good save before Robert had free range down the middle to slot home his first goal for the club.

Then, it all just started falling apart.  Our defence became disorganised; a good save from Bull was not followed up by our defenders and they scored from the rebound first their first while gifting enough space for Bull to be beaten near post.

Soon we became despondent, as what ever Bull said at half time failed to do the trick.  Harlow making it 3-1 just 38 seconds into the second half.  Later we were dishevelled as we missed a penalty.  A chance to make it 3-2 and the ball wrestled from Sean, never mind a player who score 40 goals last season he was the player most likely to score today.  The biggest player won the battle for the opportunity but his kick was obvious, wrong height and well saved.

Not even the spectacle of a drink break - a drink break! - could lift the home side that goes into the FA Cup tie against Herne Bay looking rather disillusioned...