Ashford Town 1 - 2 Tanners

Leatherhead win this surprisingly low key game to book their place in the 4th Qualifying Round after coming from behind.

Off the pitch, Ashford did not seem prepared for the match which was surprising since the first group of supporters must have arrived via the coach just in time for breakfast.  One person running the bar and a queue for food that rivalled Dulwich Hamlet's gourmet burger experience.

On the pitch they were far more organised and took full advantage of Leatherhead's lack of confidence by taking the game to their visitors from the start.  A mis-timed tackle in opening minutes gifted them a penalty and the lead after just two minutes.

Leatherhead, thankfully, did manage to compose themselves to respond. D'Sean was a constant threat and from set pieces our size always caused problems.  For all the skill we had our goals were forged from classic cup desperation. 

In the first half Minshull headed the ball from close range from a corner.  While winning the ball fairly he made enough contact with the 'keeper that would normally see the ref ruling it out on another day.  In the second half a goal mouth scramble saw the ball initially bundled over the line but headed out with the goal being given but Midson was at hand to side foot the ball into the net to make sure.

The visitors did pressure in the last 10 minutes, helped by an erratic ref, but we held on to book our place in the non-league final... just a game away from the big time.

Travelling Tanners

While cardboard cut-outs of the FA Cup are being wrapped in tin foil, Sammy Moore is being unwrapped from his protective layer of cotton wool.  We travel to Ashford Town in desperate need of leadership and goals.

Our hosts ply their trade in the Evo-Stik South East league and are doing very nicely, thank you very much.  They sit in third place, taking 16 points from a possible 21.

Leatherhead have lost their way after living up to their title of "ones to watch", but hopefully the returning Moore can get us firing again.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Levred 0 - 2 Margate

Leatherhead continue to flounder without their manager playing in midfield.  The club is too busy tweeting emojis to provide an official explanation but there are rumours that tonight was due to the FA Cup, which if true is a shame.  Leatherhead now look completely bereft of confidence and still have no real replacement for Chike to provide any real threat.

It was not as if Margate were all over us.  For periods of the first half we were creating some good chances, one forced Pidgley into a fine save and another bouncing off of a defender who had no idea where the ball was.  Leatherhead are proving to be brittle at the back and with Margate's few shots on target they found themselves 1-0 up.

Leatherhead fans hoped for a response and they were left disappointed.  We played even worse and probably only created one or two chances while Margate were striking the underside of the cross bar, had two goals ruled out for offside before they went 2-0 up.

You know when the squawking of a Margate supporter is the most entertaining part of the game it has been a bad night out and Ashford will be licking their lips at the prospect of facing this dross on Saturday... still at least all the players had the night off from playing and managing last week in the league cup... smart move... I mean, what could go wrong..?

Margate are coming

After taking the last 10 days off, Leatherhead will hopefully approach this game slightly more professionally than they did last week in the league cup.  We may not have the same riches as Pep Guardiola, but failure to show the game the respect it deserves resulted in 9 goals conceded and none scored over the last two games.

Perhaps this may also be put down to finding life without Chike more difficult than expected.  His pace does not look to have been replaced which proved to be so deadly up until his departure.

Margate site one place above us by virtue of scoring four more goals than us, but they will be hoping for more than 12th place and present a challenge to get all three points.

Kick off at 7.45.  See you there!

Dulwich Hamlet 4 - 0 Tanners

Leatherhead were well rested having not played mid week. Unfortunately the defence carried on resting for the first 20 minutes today by which time we 2-0 down. 

Surely the players would have been better prepared by recording a handsome victory over Chipstead rather than sitting at home?

If you enjoyed queueing for rides at Disney World, come to Dulwich. Dulwich fans spend their whole time queuing; admission, beer, tea, toilets, traffic lights, 20mph zones, bus lanes, waiting for a play-off win.

We had chances today but they were squandered. However, Dulwich could easily have had 6. There was a bit of belief lacking today. The talismanic Moore sat the game out and was sorely missed. It is assumed he was injured but no official reason was forthcoming. 

So a trying week ends on 0-9.  Ashford Town will be looking forward to the FA Cup fixture rather more than when the draw was made on Monday.

Travelling Tanners

While our hosts are largely still never forgiving; never forgetting I believe (hope) that seeing Jimmy Bullard banging on the dressing room wall after beating the common enemy has softened them a bit.

Leatherhead fans will want to see more commitment, more first team players and more management from the shambles in the week.  Dulwich will be licking their wounds after a tricky start to the season and an FA Cup exit.

Directions can be found here.  Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas.

Chipstead 5 - 0 Tanners

After the Lord Mayor's show comes the sh*t cart.

 

A thunderous display at Ware was followed by a pathetic halfhearted effort at Chipstead. We only have two realistic chances of silverware this season. Correction, we now have one.

 

We are unlikely to win the FA Cup, and we are unlikely to tamper with Tamplin winning the league, so that leaves the Surrey Senior Cup. We don't normally enter The FA Trophy.

 

The team sheet was a huge disappointment to those supporters who made the effort to travel.  Even the player/manager decided neither to play nor manage.

 

Even more disappointing was the effort put in by the second string team. Their attitude reflected that of the management. If we are competing for the play offs come January this league cup abdication will be justified. If we are mid table and arranging friendless due to the lack of games it will prove to be a lost opportunity.

Travelling Tanners

Tonight we travel to Chipstead in the Velocity Sports Cup, which is the League Cup in old money.

This is a competition where a fair few youth players could be given a run out.  The FA Cup could prove a mighty distraction.

Kick off at 7.45z. Good luck fellas.

Travelling Tanners

Leatherhead travel to Ware to face them in the Second Qualifying Round of the FA Cup.  To win would place us in the exciting end of the competition; to lose would be very depressing indeed.

The game against Billericay showed we can present ourselves as a difficult team to beat; it also showed we lack options without the pace of Chike.

Where?  Here.  Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas!

Travelling Tanners

Leatherhead travel to Ware to face them in the Second Qualifying Round of the FA Cup.  To win would place us in the exciting end of the competition; to lose would be very depressing indeed.

The game against Billericay showed we can present ourselves as a difficult team to beat; it also showed we lack options without the pace of Chike.

Where?  Here.  Kick off at 3pm.  がんばろう!

Billericay 1 - 0 Tanners

When Leatherhead pulled off the famous victory at The Grove last season we had a side packed with pace and at full strength, which were things we lacked this trip.  Clohessy (suspended) and Chike (tapped up) were both missing which left Midson to plough a lonely furrow.

We sat deep for much of the game.  Although on 19 minutes we pushed forward as Sam Blackman and Tom Richards were causing Billericay come concern down the wings.  A long kick from the 'keeper set their striker free and he powerfully finished from an angle.

We tried to get an equaliser.  A goal bound header from Midson found the back of Jerry's head and bounced clear being our best chance in the first half.  A glimmer of hope came when the fired up Konchesky received a straight red.  Mcmanus slid in for a tackle but fell short of making contact with any Billericay player.  Konchesky either mistimed his wild swing at the ball or reacted badly to this sliding move and kicked our man while still on the ground.

The home side will feel hard done by but really the ref was far too soft on the home side.  The second half was a disgusting display of how talented players abandoned the skill they are paid so highly for but resorted to sad tactics.  Namely by diving and completely overreacting; surrounding our player and the ref in an attempt to even things up.  This worked for example with Midson, who was guilty of simply running towards the ball.  Their number two clears it and then jumps into Midson to make contact.  Grimacing with pain to the ref; winking and smiling at the travelling supporters.  A yellow card was shown and No 2 gets on with the game.

We huffed and puffed and had some good shots on goal, but their 'keeper was equal to the challenge.  Luckily so was our 'keeper who pulled of some important saves to keep us in it.

1-0 it ended, but no point dwelling on it.  We have the FA Cup to look forward to...

Travelling Tanners

Lock up your adolescent boys; put away your Soccer AM faux handshakes... we are off to Billericay Town tomorrow.

Our hosts, despite an opening awkward loss to their ex-manager's Ks team, have risen to first place.  Nothing unusual about that, given the money they are throwing at the team.  What is unusual, if you are a long term Leatherhead fan, is that we sit in second place after having only lost to third place Harrow.

Since their opening day loss, Billericay have thought nothing about putting four or five goals past their opposition, so we could either be lambs to the slaughter or could we perhaps put together the resilient display that saw Jimmy Bullard singing "The World's Greatest" last season..?

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there...

Tanners 6 - 0 Cray Valley PM

After a plucky start from our guests the superiority that comes by being two divisions higher and in good form told.  Leatherhead put away four goals in the first half (three coming in quick succession) and two in the second to see us through to today's draw.

For 30 minutes a cautious Leatherhead approach to the game allowed Cray Valley to dare to dream about winning this game.  On several occasions they mounted attacks that kept our defence busy.  Then came our goal...

While a youthful crowd behind the goal, their 'keeper was not short of "your mum" jokes and he bit a little too early in the game.  Perhaps distracted he failed to deal with a cross properly that fell on the line for Chike to prod home.

Midson soon got on the act.  A flying header from distance and a glancing one from close range made it 2 and 3 nil in quick succession.  Then Cray lost the ball from the restart and Chike was played in to slot it past the 'keeper who was now wishing he had stayed quiet for 15 minutes longer.  The battle for the hat trick was on though...

Chike won this battle after his shot was too strong for the hand of the diving 'keeper and in crawled in.  Then Sam Blackman came on with his usual creativity and pace.  He won the ball through sheer determination and then lobbed the 'keeper deftly to make it 6-0.  The loudest cheer only coming when their female physio had to tend to an injury in front of the bar area... Karen Brady would not have been amused...

On to the draw then...

Cray Valley PM are coming

I was trying to think of a good paper joke, but they were all tearable...

Cray Valley come to the Grove tomorrow to face us in the FA Cup.  A competition that we, frankly, have been bloody useless in over the past few years.  I sense that the FA Cup this year will be taken a lot more seriously but with us an banana skin is only 90 minutes away.

The Eltham based club currently play in the Southern Counties East League Premier Division.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there.

Tanners 1 - 0 Met Police

There were more fouls today than there are tweets and emojis on match day. A horrible game to watch but one that ended with a deserved 3 points and joint top of the league with the obnoxious classless egotistical wide boys of Essex.

The game started cagily with a typically niggly spoiling Met Police side looking for a draw or maybe to sneak an odd goal. The weather was dangerously hot by British standards as it was almost 26 degrees celsius. How they manage without drinks breaks in Spain when it is 35 degrees we will never know.

The first half saw very few chances. The biggest concern was a misbehaving yellow motorbike until the usually superb Clohessy had a rush of blood to the head. An off the ball incident noticed by the assistant referee saw him receive a straight red. No one complained much so the decision must have been correct.

Met Police almost tried to launch the occasional attack when we were down to 10 men but it was half hearted. We went into half time on level terms but slightly hot and bothered.

Despite their player advantage, Met Police created few real chances in the 2nd half and it wasn't long before one of their number (who should have been keeping people safe in Notting Hill) was shown a 2nd yellow. Our spirits rose and the boss brought himself on. We started to control the game and we searched for a winner which finally came in the form of the influential Blackman and the lively Chike.

A superb start to the season and a well deserved 2 week rest from league action. Onto the FA Cup where last year a dreadful performance under a hapless Sandman saw us crash out at Hythe. 

This year will be different. Mooro stared down Steven Gerrard in the FA Cup not that long ago so surely will not fold against Cray Paper Mills from 2 leagues below. The friendly against Glebe showed we can not afford to be complacent . An A1 sized performance will be required, not A3 or A4.

Tanners 4 - 0 Ks

You would be forgiven for thinking this was a thrilling game, but strangely it wasn't as both the players and supporters participated in a low-key manner.

It never quite got to the frenetic levels as it did against Harrow, but today the goals went in.  This was certainly the case where a cross into the box was met by Minshull's neck / shoulder but somehow had enough power to beat the 'keeper.

There was nothing fortunate about Midson's header.  That had all of the power and accuracy of a Moab missile and their 'keeper had no chance.

Second half and it was much of the same.  The home supporters did manage a quick song of "Sh** ground, no fans" which was firmly met by "No ground, **** fans" just as Chike tiptoed past three defenders to make enough room for a low powerful shot.  3-0.

There was something inevitable about the fourth.  A free kick was set up about 30 yards out and the Ks defence really didn't fancy it.  The ball was initially flicked onto the post but fell to Ambroisine who smashed it into the back of the net.

Leatherhead push up into the play off places again and now await the visit of Met Police.  A side that has conceded 12 goals so far this season...

Travelling Tanners

In any other year, Ks away would have been one of the first fixtures to look for but THIS year it takes on a new meaning while they share with us.

Ks earned a lot of brownie points on the first day of the season by beating Billericay, but that counts for nothing as we renew acquaintances in familiar surroundings.  At least we know where the yellow hatchings are at Fetcham Grove.

Leatherhead go into the game with something a defensive concern.  We have lost three defenders in the last week (two through injury and one returning to Peterborough), so a flat back one may be needed.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Tanners 0 - 2 Harrow

After two relatively straightforward games, Leatherhead perhaps turned up thinking a win was inevitable as long as they stuck to their game plan.  Harrow turned up with a determined game plan of their own, to slow the game down and frustrate, and took the initiative away from the hosts in the first half to run away with a two goal cushion.

You could not fault Leatherhead's effort.  On another day we would have won this easily with the chances that did not quite come off but Harrow's ascent to the top of the league does not look to be an accident.  From early in the game Leatherhead struggled to break them down.  The usual format of our attack (everything via Clohessy) seemed to be nullified by Harrow so we tried to work out a different route to goal.

Meanwhile, Harrow snatched a two goal lead.  First a ball to the back post was headed across goal only to be met by a powerful header into the top right corner; then a powerful run into the box brushed aside our defence to shoot into the bottom corner.

Leatherhead got some help from the referee on about 30 minutes when he sent off their left back.  Chike's heel was clipped and he went down, too theatrically for the defender who confronted our striker and then pushed him in the chest.  Chike went down holding his face and the ref showed the red.  Perhaps the defender thought the ref was a soft touch as he had allowed such blatant time wasting.  Notably kicking the ball out of Moore's hands as he placed it to take a free kick.  Either way, I don't think anyone covered themselves in glory in this passage of play.

Leatherhead, with the man advantage, went for the all out attack but were denied by a good 'keeper, brave defending and a slice of luck.  Notable efforts were Chike's goal bound shot being blocked on the line by a covering defender; Calum clipping the bar; Midson grazing the ball wide off of his studs; and pulling off a triple save from Chike.

Disappointing but we have the Ks fixture to look forward on Saturday.  Two of their stewards were out our game getting some match practice in to keep us off any hatched areas and stop any fun.

Harrow Borough are coming

A Marc Charles-Smith-less Harrow come to the Grove tomorrow in good form.  They have taken the opportunity of remaining in the league, after last season's reprieve from relegation, by winning their opening two games.  Only a goal prevents them from being top over us.

A big crowd was present for the win over Worthing and now we sit top perhaps even bigger figures can be hoped for...

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there.

Tanners 3 - 0 Worthing

The A24 will feel a lot longer on the trip home for our visitors as they were largely outclassed tonight.  A 3-0 win takes us to the top of the league, but both of our victims have yet to win so we'll try and keep our feet on the ground and dressing room walls lion free.

Leatherhead could have been a couple up in the opening few minutes.  A cross in the box was slashed at twice before it ballooned off of a shin.  Chike missed from about 6 yards too add to the first half nerves.

The nerves were eased when a corner was firmly met by Jerry and the ball powered into the back of the net.  1-0 at half time and Jerry nearly repeated the trick early in the second half but the 'keeper saved well.

The 'keeper turned out to be a bit of an enigma.  Saving well on the one hand but inviting trouble on the other.  As a result Leatherhead seemed applied more and more pressure until the goals came.

Sean Clohessy's crossing has been impressive and it was from another of his corners we scored.  Midson thought he had done enough but it rebounded off of the crossbar, but only as far as Chike who added to his tally from point blank range.

Sammy Moore took himself off to watch the game from the side lines and introduced the more attack-minded Sam Blackman.  Some individual skill from him saw him with room to shoot and he put it away to make it three.

High flying Harrow come to the Grove Saturday to test our winning streak...