Tanners 1 - 0 Bowers Pitsea

Leatherhead get their first win of the season thanks to my positivity and an Olutade goal.

We started brightly.  Travis was causing problems down our right and it was from him we got our goal.  We pounced on a cross and fired powerfully at the 'keeper who could only spill it into the path of Ibz who instinctively headed it home.

Second half and Leatherhead started the game with their trademark laissez faire approach and were it not for an excellent save from Zak we would have conceded.  This was a storm we had to weather for 15 minutes before the sense of inevitability subsided.

Then we looked a decent side again and on two occasions we went narrowly wide of the post.  We also were spared by a ref who adjudged a foul to have occurred outside the box where some may have seen it another way.

Three points in the bag and Nikki can finally be himself again in front of the cameras again.  Bognor Regis Town on Tuesday...

Bowers & Pitsea are coming

I have been told The Lip isn't as positive as it could be.  A little shocked by this I took a look at the table and can announce we are just 11 points off of the play-off places with it all to play for.

That starts, again, tomorrow with the visit of Bowers & Pitsea.  We could have met our new friends last week, but for a last minute goal at Lewes that sent us to penalties in the FA Cup.  Our guests sit in 14th place and have a Third Qualifying Round to look forward to.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Worthing 5 - 5 Tanners

Bloody hell.  What must Leatherhead do to win a game this season?

Some fifteen years ago, Worthing was the venue for my stag-do where my pants were pulled down and I was given a good spanking.  It was that in mind I entered the stadium and the opening few minutes did little to convince we another humiliating good hiding wasn't going to be dished out today.  Yeah, it was some tidy footwork to beat our defender to set up the goal but on two minutes you fear the worst.

Leatherhead did not lie down though and some equally smart move down our right and a good low cross allowed Travis to fire home to make it 1-1.  Hester-Cook guided the ball home from the edge of the area shortly after to make it 2-1 and Worthing looked a little shell-shocked.  The ref too was clearly confused with what was going on and awarded us a penalty for something that was not immediately obvious.  He was too handsome to argue with and so DSane stepped up but scuffed his shot right at the 'keeper.

Leatherhead were really dominating this game and limited Worthing to just two chances.  A pity they scored from both of them as we allowed them to cross and head home with ease.  Nikki Bull was ruddy furious and there is a water bottle that will never see action again.

Second half and it all went off.  Worthing repeated their trick of scoring in the opening minutes and the curse of a complete second half collapse went on, despite Nikki Bull coming out from the dressing room 5 minutes early.  Then Leatherhead came into their own.  A swinging cross found Tommy Wood's head and the ball rocketed into the back of the net. 3-3.  Otulade then broke free and fired the ball into the top corner. 4.3. Tommy Wood repeated his trick, albeit less convincingly as he ball found the net via his neck then shoulder.  They all count.

5-3 the good.  This was it, the first win.  Supporters were so relaxed they argued the subject a former teacher taught at school.  Then, it happened.

A rather harmless ball was aimed into the box but it had a touch of spin that deceived Will Salmon sending it behind him instead of bouncing up onto his chest as he ran onto it.  He had a choice, let it go and try and recover or "innocently" leave the trailing arm out to be struck.  Amazingly he opted for the latter and the statuesque ref awarded the most obvious penalty you will see.  5-4.

At 5-4 the equaliser was just a matter of time and sure enough some balls-up of sorts allowed them to fire a shot through a crowd of players to ruin what would have been a lovely away trip.

As away trips go though it wasn't all that bad.  There was a light festival on the beach, which my wife saw online and insisted on going to.  I bumped into a couple of their fans and it appeared they were as disappointed with a draw as we were.  Ten goals and neither side happy.  First World problems, I guess.  After that the ten goal thriller, Nikki Bull has given the side the weekend off.  No action this week...

Travelling Tanners

Out of the cup, winless and bottom of the league; is a plastic pitch the place to go today?  Probably not, but that's the task at hand when we travel to Worthing today.

Worthing have nine points to their name while Leatherhead have two "new" on-loan signings.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Lewes 2 - 2 Tanners (Lewes win 3-1 on penalties)

We conceded on 5 minutes but heads stayed up and we responded well with D'Sane converting a clear penalty on 18 minutes.

We continued to show great levels of energy. Tommy Wood finishing confidently to put us 2-1 up on 23 minutes. This wasn't the stroll in Tivoli Gardens that Lewes might have expected and it certainly wasn't the place for Little Mermaids. 

The 2nd half was a significant improvement on previous efforts this season. The energy levels and commitment were back to the levels Nikki has been crying out for. Passions were running high with everyone hoping £4,500 would end up in the right hands. 

A stunning save from Zak kept our dreams alive until the last moment of normal time when Lewes equalised with a disputed "was it over the line?" goal. Zak and Will were booked for their protestations making a costly 5 bookings on the night for the Tanners.

We had the best chance of the 1st period when Hester Cook just missed out on converting a One-on-One. Still 2-2 and the 2nd period saw us kicking towards the no-man's-land end. The end nearest the car park as the crow flies but the furthest away when walking as they don't bother to open the gate.

Make that 6 bookings. Our 6th turning from a gentle yellow into a nasty red. Luckily it came with just 7 minutes left before penalties.

Penalties. Lost. Good night.

Travelling Tanners

The first round of "Everywhere we go..." will quietly start at 4pm today, reaching a crescendo on reaching Lewes an hour later when fans step off of the coach wondering why the bloody hell did they get to the ground nearly three hours before kick-off.  This will no doubt be cleared up upon entering the first pub...

On the pitch, Leatherhead are still looking for their first win over 90 minutes.  If the game was only 45 minutes we'd be laughing with 8 points and £4,500 in the bank.

Kick off at 7.45.  Good luck fellas.

Tanners 2 - 2 Lewes

Into to the Dripping Pan and out of desire.

Leatherhead squandered a two goal lead to take this tie into a replay.  It was a very different Leatherhead performance in the first half and Lewes looked quite ratted by the new presence upfront we had.  We were positive and threatening which had the Lewes defenders exchanging nervous glances.

The nervous levels rose further as Jerry stepped up for set pieces and his presence paid off with two goals. One seemed to glance off of his shoulder and the other a powerful header that gave the 'keeper no chance.

2-0 and we mused over where we would like to play in the next round.  A nice trip to Weston-super-Mare or Truro... I may even make a weekend of it.  Now, whatever Nikki says at half time he should stop, pull up a chair in the bar with a beer and stay out of it as what happened next was typical of what we have seen this season so far.

It was a completely different team that turned out and Lewes now looked like the confident team.  Tommy Wood who looked so promising now had a touch of the Joe Sheerin about him.  With only three subs there was little inspiration on the bench and when they did come on they appeared a yard off of the pace.

The result was an emphatic Lewes comeback as they pulled the two goals back with little resistance.  In the dying minutes a powerful shot looked destined to send us crashing out of the cup, but fortunately it crashed against the post and bounced safely away.

Wednesday night for the replay.  I'm in Copenhagen so will miss all the fun...

Lewes are coming. Again.

As so often is the case, a cup fixture follows with the same opposition you have shortly faced (or will face) in the league and so that is tomorrow.  Lewes were a side that looked ripe for the picking but that was overlooking just how bloody poor we have been this season.

The shenanigans off the pitch no doubt played a major part in this.  Bland club statements and stiff-upper lip can only take you so far when you then let a few things slip to the local press.

On to tomorrow we go then.  A flurry of new signings and the prospect of winning and keeping some FA Cup prize money (I meant due to having registered players, obviously) will hopefully lift the side.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Tanners 1 - 4 Lewes

Leatherhead must be held to account for a heavy loss today as Lewes cashed in with 4 goals.

One recent departure that will will be sorely missed is Dan Gallagher, after his long stretch at the club. His honesty and commitment to the club has never been in doubt. His absence left a gaping hole in midfield.

This game certainly wasn't stolen by Lewes and we now sit sadly at the bottom of the league. Lewes took an early lead when they helped themselves to an early goal on 9 minutes. The ball was bundled into the net again on 26 minutes and we went into half time 2 down. It was enough to make you keep returning to the tea bar throughout the game.

Lewes plundered 2 more goals in the 2nd half and probably felt robbed when we scored a consolation goal. It started to rain and got rather chilly but not bad enough for hands to be put in other people's pockets.

We have won a huge amount of FA Cup money in the past couple of seasons. It would nice to keep some of this loot when we play Lewes again next week.

Lewes are coming

Our old friends, Lewes, come back to the Grove today for this league encounter.

Hopefully futures have been considered and we have all the resignations done and dusted for the week.  Some good news is that International Clearance has been received for one player to make their debut.

Kick off at 3pm.  I'm considering to go... 

Travelling Tanners

Looking at the other teams in the league, this fixture has now been upgraded to "local derby".  Looking at the league it has also been upgraded to "must win". 

We travel to Carshalton Athletic today, a team that have won the last two games and scoring seven goals in doing so.

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas.

Tanners 1 - 2 Enfield Town

Second half blues and absent friends.

If all our games ended at half time we'd have 8 points and be 4th. As it is we have 2 points and we're 5th bottom. That's a mystery for Nikki to solve and hopefully quite quickly. 

More of a mystery is the curt statement announcing the departure of Richard Brady. No best wishes. No thanks for the promotion and many years of service. No mention of the FA Cup run. Will the long suffering members ever find out the truth......based on recent history probably not.

Enfield Town are coming

After a disappointing last minute equaliser at Folkestone (a match report I now see will be assigned to the "draft folder" forever) we continue to search for our first win.

This happens at home with the visit of Enfield Town tomorrow, a side that lost 4-1 to Horsham...

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck Tanners.

Travelling Tanners

Leatherhead search for their first win against Folkestone Invicta this weekend.  Conditions are not forecast to be the best, certainly not a day to have hopes of much play at Lords for example.

Our hosts have two wins to their name, beating Worthing and Cray Wanderers already.  No easy task for us then...

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  Good luck fellas.

Tanners 2 - 3 Haringey

The omens were not good as on arrival to the club house we quickly saw the curry was late while a frantic Richard Bligh tried to locate the mildly spiced buffet.  Haringey arrived at the Grove, armed with cake, in reasonable numbers given it was a mid-week game and the distance etc.

I did manage to sneak in a plate of "seconds" so waddled around to the pitch just in time to see the ball strike the hand of Haringey player in the box.  This was far to early for the ref' to make such a decision and you would need to wait about 15 minutes for the game to bed in before getting a penalty for this... On 17 minutes the ball struck Jerry's hand and a penalty was awarded.  0-1.

It was a shame as Leatherhead were on top and were showing good promise.  Leatherhead continued to press for a goal and got it on the stroke of half time when a clumsy challenge brought a penalty to Leatherhead and DSane continued his scoring run.  1-1.

Second half was a very different affair though and despite Nikki's claim of a bright opening 5-10 minutes I thought he had it right before he corrected himself of the time scale being in seconds.  We failed to respond to the increased effort from Haringey and they made us pay.

The first goal came from a ball into the box that was not cleared but placed into the path of a striker who was afforded enough time to pick his spot. 1-2.  Not too long after we conceded again, a header from a corner.

The game appeared all over when Dan Gallagher calmly volleyed a ball into the side netting to set up a finish to the game we barely deserved.  That finish nearly came when Jerry, pushed up front, was free in the box with the ball at his feet.  Striking the ball, while falling backwards, it went just wide and Haringey survived the scare.

Folkestone away Saturday...

Haringey Borough are coming

The team many thought (hoped) would win the league last year, come to the Grove tonight with a win already under their belts. 

The away fixture to North London, last season, will go down with many as one of the highlights of the campaign and showed just how important players like Travis are to our chances... and he is back!

Curry plates up at 6.30.  Kick off at 7.45.  See you there.

Horsham 1 - 1 Tanners

I was expecting a bit more from the trip to Horsham, although holidays and replacement bus services may have reduced the crowd a little. 

On getting there it had a feel of a big game that only comes from parking a five minute walk from the ground.  On entering, the atmosphere was lively but I was expecting t see grown men cry upon entering their new stadium.

On the pitch and Leatherhead can be reasonably content.  This time last year, we were given a sound thrashing at the hands of a newly promoted side but this time we more than held our own.

There was a patient composure to our build up play and in the first half I would say we, overall, controlled it.  Our goal came from a DSane penalty which was won through a challenge where the ball appeared to be won but at the expense of taking out the striker.

DSane could have double his tally but for the intervention of Ekpiteta who struck, albeit a powerful shot, while lying on the ground.

Horsham then struck.  We fell asleep and the ball was worked into the box and slipped into the back of the net, beating Zak at his near post.

Second half and Horsham really did compete.  We headed off of the line at least once and saw the ball less in dangerous positions.  Jerry had two great chances to take the lead.  A powerful volley going just wide of the right post and a glances headed even closer to the left.

Just as I thought we deserved more, Zak pulled off a miraculous save to justify the honours being even.  On to Tuesday's curry night...

Travelling Tanners

So, here we go again.  Another season starts following, result wise, a disappointing pre-season.  However, let's cheer ourselves up the glorious sound that is the NEW GROUND KLAXON.

Tomorrow we travel to our old friends Horsham.  A team that drifted down the leagues and even out of Horsham due to their ground sharing arrangements.  That is behind them as they join us in the Isthmian Premier League in their new ground.

Parking advice has been given and we should aim to park in the RSPCA and take a shuttle bus.  There is also a Park & Ride opposite and details can be found here.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Farnborough Town are coming

Leatherhead take in Farnborough in a round of strange exhibition games; two games lasting 60 minutes each.  To accommodate this they kick off at 2.30.

A pity, as after our first win in the week it would be good to set ourselves out again but I doubt a settled side will be played today.

Good luck fellas.

Travelling Tanners

I'm back from Serbia, where it has been difficult to keep up to date with the friendly results.  I've heard "unlucky", "great effort" and "grand stand finish"... all bywords for losing each game I am guessing...

Onto tonight where we play Greenwich Borough of the Isthmian League South East Division.  Despite the prospect of a new ground, I was unable to make this game.  Hopefully some updates will come from somewhere.

Kick off at 7.45.  Good luck fellas.