Travelling Tanners

Love is in the air, as we travel to Hanworth Villa this Valentine's Day.  Something that isn't in the air, rain.  Which is ironic given this is a weekend the elements would find hard to spoil as our hosts have a 3G pitch.

It's second vs. first.  Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Corinthian-Casuals 0 - 5 Tanners

This was my second trip into Woking for football in four days, after watching a Binfield, that side tore into us only a couple of weeks ago, fluff their first-half chances, and then lose convincingly to Westfield on Saturday.

 

Working in Woking and being desperate for a game, I jumped at the chance to get to this friendly and realised, as I walked through the leisure centre, that I had the added bonus of ticking off a new ground.

 

Corinthian-Casuals were probably grateful for the friendly at first, but football came at them fast as a strong Leatherhead side raced into a 4-0 lead. Quick goals from Anas, Sapsford (I thought it was Hogan at the time), Hogan (penalty), and Breckon made this a non-event inside 25 minutes. If we learned anything from the first half, it's that tackles still hurt in friendlies too—Mark Waters took a couple of hefty ones.

 

I counted eight changes in the second half, which slowed our goal rate considerably. Jordan got our fifth when he ran onto a cross (one Corinthian-Casuals really should have dealt with) and smashed it into the top near corner, having just given the 'keeper "the eyes".

 

With Saturday looking in doubt, it was good to get a game under the belt, and with fixture congestion forecast as well, maybe we should appeal to the league to classify this as a league match and take the three points…

Harrow 0 - 2 Tanners

A crash on the M25 turned a one-hour journey into something a lot longer. Was I worried about getting back in time for the panto I was due to see that evening? Oh yes, I was.

 

In the opening minutes, our debutant, Sapsford, dived in for a tackle and, while making contact with the ball, also landed on the Harrow player. A lengthy delay then ensued while the player received treatment before being stretchered off to hospital, and Sapsford escaped with only a yellow card.

 

Once the game restarted, Leatherhead comprehensively dominated, but it took set pieces to score the vital goals. Nathan Hogan swung in a free kick that, as soon as it began its downward trajectory, looked destined for the net. The ball dropped between the defenders and the 'keeper with such pace that it invited either a Leatherhead header or a panicked clearance that risked an own goal. Breckon was first to it and headed the opener. He was then denied a hat-trick by two offside decisions.

 

Then, in the 11th minute of the 13 indicated, Anas sent in a corner and Black rose to head it past the 'keeper. Up until that point, Anas' corners had been somewhat lofty, but a demand for "flatter" was obeyed, and it proved far more deadly.

 

Into the second half, and the inevitable collapse and concession of three goals? Oh no they didn't. Leatherhead went on to deliver a thoroughly professional performance and left Harrow with nothing but scraps.

 

All of this played out against the backdrop of some really poor officiating. Harrow were obviously upset not to get their "stonewall" red-card decision, while Leatherhead were frustrated with assistant referees who refused to flag for fouls right under their noses, gave Harrow anything for falling over while we got little, and failed to give a back-pass decision for one of the most obvious infringements of its kind I've seen.

 

A fine win, though, and a further chance to build on this form with a visit from Chipstead on Tuesday (weather permitting)…

Travelling Tanners

A blip turned into a wobble and over two second half performances we lost 8-1… the kind of performance that creates offers of free drinks to the supporters only for that to be later retracted…

Today we travel to ninth placed Harrow Borough, a side that beat Hayes & Yeading on the week.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Leatherhead 4 - 5 Binfield

Leatherhead suffered the kind of capitulation rarely seen outside of Day 2 of the Ashes, as we conceded five – five! – second-half goals to Binfield.

In the first half, this all seemed so easy and straightforward. Anas set up Breckon for a tap-in. 1–0. Hogan shot with his right, then followed up the rebound with his left. 2–0. Then Anas scored a fine goal. 3–0. Leatherhead's potent trident were in full effect.

Half-time brought a moment to sit down with a cup of tea and contemplate how many more we would score… then things started to unravel.

At half-time, Massango made way for Charlie Kennett at left-back and things seemed OK. Binfield came out looking for a way back into the game, but we were comfortable. Their opener was perhaps a little fortuitous, taking a massive deflection to beat Sonny. Nothing to worry about: 3–1.

Then we made a double substitution that probably turned the game. Gallagher and Hogan went off. Suddenly, all of the swagger and potency left the pitch, and our left-hand side were new to a game where the pace was about to step up. Three quick goals followed from Binfield, all attacks down their right, fired in with a pace that Leatherhead seemed unwilling or unable to deal with. 3–4.

With 15 minutes to go, even with the shock of now losing a game we had looked certain to win, I thought we could bounce back… but then we gave away a penalty and the visitors made it 3–5, despite Sonny diving the right way.

To Leatherhead's credit, we tried to salvage a point. Hedley headed home, and Binfield survived two scares when they were able to head the ball off the line and their 'keeper dived sharply to his left to stop a deflected shot from creeping in.

This is the kind of result that, had we seen Moneyfields, Westfield, etc. do this, we would have wet ourselves laughing. As it is, we are the wetees and not the wetor.

Tanners 2 - 3 Horsham

Leatherhead didn't have enough in the tank to see the job out against their National League South opposition after taking a first-half 2-0 lead.

 

Over 1,600 fans came to see the showdown, and Leatherhead not only avoided a perhaps expected early battering but took the game to Horsham. The first goal came after just seven minutes when Anas was allowed far too much space on the ball to run into the box and pick out Hogan. His finish was crisp, to the near post, and beat the hapless 'keeper with ease. 1-0.

 

With Hogan playing through the middle, Jordan Gallagher was given the freedom to play down the right, and he relished the task. Like Anas, the Horsham defence found him difficult to handle, and on 36 minutes, he drove into the box. Two or three defenders tried to stop the attack, but none of them fully committed, and with the 'keeper also coming off his line, Jordan simply rolled it into an open net. 2-0.

 

Moments later, Jordan attempted to curl one into the same corner from further out. Had it not been just a foot wide, a 3-0 lead might have been too much for Horsham to bounce back from. But wide it went, and we went into the break 2-0 up…

 

The second half was a very different story. Horsham had regrouped and came out with purpose, whereas we largely looked like we only wanted to defend our lead. That lead was halved just four minutes into the half when some tight passing through the middle freed a striker to advance on goal and coolly finish. 2-1.

 

On the hour mark, it was all square when Horsham broke away from our corner. We had just gotten back into the game and were applying pressure when Anas completely mistimed a shot, allowing the ball to be stolen and pushed up the pitch. During the pre-match warm-up, Horsham had exhibited some of the most clinical practice shots I've ever seen. I barely feared for my face or cup of tea once. One player stood out in particular—Ola Ogunwamide—who fired a powerful, dipping shot over Sonny and into the side netting from the edge of the box. 2-2.

 

The game remained even, and just as we debated which end penalties would be taken at, disaster struck. A well-worked move down the left allowed for a cross across the face of our goal, and a Horsham player was on hand to slide in and prod it home. 3-2.

 

So, the FA Sodding Trophy adventure ended exactly how I feared it would: losing to a local rival we know too well, as opposed to the delight of losing 5-0 away at Carlisle or somewhere similar. Now we can get back to the business of trying to win the league, and I wonder how many of the Leatherhead-based 1,600 will be donning two pairs of socks for the visit of Moneyfields on Tuesday…

Horsham are coming!

Trophy fever comes to The Grove today, as we host old friends Horsham today.

Their manager complained of being to the "bare bones" due to injuries in the week, but given their place in their league I'm sure they have good bones.

Kick off at 3pm. See you there!

Met Police 1 - 4 Tanners

A late flurry of goals sealed a fine 4-1 win away at Met Police in this "Boxing Day" fixture.

 

The first goal alone was worth the cash-only admission. The ball moved through the box in a series of flicks and tricks until Breckon looped it into the path of Mehmet, who volleyed it into the bottom corner.

 

The Met Police then dug in and frustrated us for the rest of the half. Even after they went down to ten men, following a nasty straight-legged, studs-up challenge, they held on and managed to snatch an equaliser when we mishit a clearance, and it fell to their striker.

 

In the second half, we scored another early goal. Hogan swung in a dangerous corner to the near post, and in a flurry of activity, it snuck in. I'm not sure if it was an own goal or whether the 'keeper completely misjudged it, but we gratefully accepted the late Christmas present.

 

While The Met threatened (hitting the post and nearly pouncing on a spilled Wheeler catch), Leatherhead upped the pressure and began to dominate. The return of Anas was key, as he coolly slotted a shot around the 'keeper to make it 3-1 and then set up Hogan to make it 4-1.

 

All in all, a nice away day… but now we return home for the visit of Ks on Saturday.

Travelling Tanners

It's Day 8 of my in-laws' visit and today I woke up to a flat tyre, so I am ready for a game of football today.

Today we travel to Met Police (cash only at the gate), who are finding life a little tough in the league BUT are capable of slotting five past Hendon.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Tanners 3 - 2 Bognor Regis

On arrival at the clubhouse, it was clear this was a big showdown, as a large travelling contingent had arrived by coach and occupied many of the tables. With it being the last game before Christmas, and facing once-National-League-South opposition, the fixture was set up to be a well-attended game. 

Just before kick-off, there was a last-minute decision to change ends, and as we crossed paths, we encountered a group of gingerbread men and some elves, as several fans had come in fancy dress. Some of Santa's Little Helpers had a song with some not-so-festive words about Leatherhead, but they lost—so stick that up your chimney and smoke it.

 

Onto the game, and it did not disappoint. Both sides took turns controlling the match, with us hitting the post and Bognor being denied by two desperate goalmouth clearances. Then, as I went to the bar to try and find a table, we scored. A misplaced header went wide but was rescued by "The Lip," Logan Coles, who put the ball back into the area, and Hedley fired it home on 47 minutes.

 

You would be forgiven for thinking we could see out the half, but we conceded a foul on the edge of the box. The resulting free kick was expertly bent to the left of the diving Wheeler. "F****** get in there!" shouted a parcel of merry reindeer.

 

In the second half, Leatherhead really showed what they were made of. "The Lip," Logan Coles, was purring around midfield like a Rolls-Royce, and trying to watch Nathan Hogan was like trying to follow a ball at a tennis match as he switched sides to confuse the Bognor Regis defence. Eventually, he found space to run at goal and bent the ball past the Bognor Regis 'keeper. If we learned anything from the game so far, it's that in training, we need to work on defending set pieces and our goal celebrations, as Hogan's was both confusing and strangely erotic.

 

Hogan was on hand to make it 3-1. A similar run, but this time he fired it powerfully in at the near post, with the 'keeper feeling a sense of déjà vu and going the wrong way. Suddenly, the fancy dress costumes and the words "replacement bus service" felt a lot heavier than they did at 2:45.

 

Bognor Regis did make things a little tense when, on 90 minutes, they were awarded a penalty. However, some festive timewasting in the corner meant we held on for all three points. Onto Saturday, when we play Met Police away…

Bognor Regis are coming!

Mid-table Bognor Regis come to the Grove today for our last fixture before Christmas.  This coincides with the arrival of my in-laws from Brazil, but somehow I have been given a free pass and will not be required to drive to Heathrow to pick them up.  The miracle of Christmas!

 

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Tanners 3 - 2 Harrow Borough

Leatherhead booked their place in the Fourth Round of the FA Trophy with a hard-fought game against Harrow Borough. Our guests certainly put up more of a fight than Hampton & Richmond did, and much of that was down to Rueben Collins. A centre-back who almost single-handedly kept us at bay when we faced him in a Chertsey shirt, he now marshalled the defence at Harrow, and our players almost seemed a bit scared of him.

 

But Rueben couldn't be everywhere, and when a partially cleared corner fell to Breckon, he had the time and space to find the bottom corner. A nice early goal to settle the nerves. 1-0.

 

Our nerves only remained at ease for 15 minutes, as a corner was swung in and headed home. 1-1. Leatherhead returned the favour on the stroke of half-time when Niran Butler rose to head home a corner and restore the lead. 2-1.

 

Onto the second half, and things were getting tense as both sides looked for the all-important next goal. On 63 minutes, it looked like the game was safe when Breckon rose to meet a cross and glanced it into the far corner. 3-1.

 

This two-goal cushion lasted just a few minutes, as Harrow worked some space in the box and fired a shot at goal, which took a massive deflection and beat Wheeler. 3-2.

 

Leatherhead dug in, and finally, the referee called the game to an end. Winners and off to the Fourth Round for the first time in approximately 50 years, with dreams of venturing north for some glamour ties…

Harrow Borough are coming!

Despite all of the rain, over recent days, we wake up to a morning so dray and crisp that even Raynes Park Vale would struggle to get the game called off.  So today we welcome Harrow Borough to The Grove to play this FA (sodding) Trophy Third Round Fixture.  

 

A win will see us through to the round where it goes fully national and a chance to go "up north"… but first we must get past a Harrow side that only lost to in-form Moneyfields 3-2 and knocked three past AFC Portchester recently.

 

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Tanners 5 - 2 Southall

Leatherhead bounced back from the defeat at the weekend to notch up an impressive 5-2 scoreline, despite letting a two-goal lead slip.

 

If we've learned anything in the last few weeks, it's that racing to a 2-0 lead inside the first 15 minutes generally means good things. So, everything looked fine when we raced to a two-goal lead. First, Halim reacted to yet another ball bouncing off the crossbar to continue his good start, and then Gallagher tapped in a well-placed cross from Paget. 2-0, easy.

 

Then things started to unravel — fast. Southall's goals came directly from their pace down the flanks and were in no way Sonny Wheeler's fault. The fact that I say this just after meeting both of Sonny's parents, so they now know my identity, is neither here nor there. Within the space of two minutes (and just four minutes after we had gone 2-0 up), we were pegged back to 2-2.

 

Leatherhead now resembled a battered boxer, stumbling around while Southall looked to apply the killer punch. Within the next ten minutes, we could have found ourselves 4-2 down but for a close-range shot blasted wide and (Mr. and Mrs. Wheeler, please take note) a fine save to Sonny's left. But somehow, we made it to the bell, slumped down into the corner, had water squirted into our faces, while Selley shouted instructions into their ears.

 

In the second half, Leatherhead regained their composure and patiently went about their business while looking for the winner. At around the 60-minute mark, Southall abandoned their attacking approach and started going down injured a lot more.

 

Finally, the pressure told, and Halim was set up by another Paget cross and slotted it away on 75 minutes. 3-2, and the floodgates were about to open.

 

Two substitutes made the game safe in quick succession. First, Massango pounced on a loose ball, ran into the box, and delicately chipped the 'keeper. 4-2. Then, The Lip's Logan Coles came on with a point to prove. Cruelly omitted from having an official player photo or announcing his sponsorship details, he saw the ex-Tanner Mitchal Gough on the ball and pounced. Stealing it from him, he marched on goal, calmly rounded the 'keeper, and found the back of the empty net. 5-2 and a timely reminder that this quality player is in the squad and has been sponsored…

 

Poor Mitchal would not have enjoyed his return to The Grove, as he was involved in both of the last two defensive errors, providing the kind of contribution Fareham's No. 12 still has nightmares about.

 

So, the five-point gap is restored, but now we go on again and face our old friends Raynes Park Vale on Saturday…

Southall are coming!

It looks like we have a game on! I feared last night's rain would ruin our chances, but a day of largely clear sky has meant we can put Saturday behind us and get get on with it.

Tonight we welcome Southall, who sit just one point above the relegation zone.

Kick of at 7.45pm. See you there!

Tanners 2 - 3 Westfield

Leatherhead failed to grab the chance to move eight points clear of Westfield following a disappointing 3-2 loss at The Grove.

 

After 15 minutes, I understood how Hampton & Richmond fans felt a couple of weeks ago as we allowed our guests to rush to a 2-0 lead.  Selley described our three conceded goals as sloppy, but I feel that is a little harsh as the opener was created from their No 9 plucking the ball from the air to create the perfect run at goal.  Wheeler came out to close this down, but the composed striker went by him and rolled it into the empty net.  0-1.

 

The second goal, fair play, was poor defending as we had about two or three opportunities to deal with the situation before the ball was played into the area for a tap in.  0-2.

 

Leatherhead fans had something to cheer about when Halim was brought down by either a defender or 'keeper (they both slid in and made contact while both pleaded their innocence) and Hogan stepped up to find the back of the net, despite the 'keeper guessing the right way. 1-2.

 

Surely, we would now go on and win this game… but alas Westfield got a third on the 37-minute mark.  It looked like Kane was pulled back to prevent him from dealing with the loose ball on the edge of the box, but the ref didn't see it that way and the Westfield player nipped around him and slotted in a through ball that was prodded home.  1-3.

 

After the break, we needed an early goal and got one.  Anas was provided with the ball inside the box and fired his shot into the roof of the net.  2-3 and game on.

 

Alas, despite applying good spells of pressure the equaliser didn't come.  Gallagher came the closest when he pounced on a loose ball, but his effort hot the crossbar and bounced clear.  Westfield held on to take all three points, but still sit two points behind us as we look to rebuild and face Southall (subject to the weather) at home on Tuesday…

Westfield are coming!

This is a big game.  This is a Sky-Sports-12.30-kick-off type of game as the top two face off together, at The Grove.  Out guests sit five points behind us but have scored two more goals… arguably those goals came against Hayes & Yeading, as they beat them 7-0 in October whereas we could "only" must five mideweek.

 

Kick-off at 3pm.  See you there!

Hayes & Yeading 0 - 5 Tanners

You know it's going to be an unpleasant journey when Waze reroutes you through the fifth busiest airport in the world. So, after 90 minutes of driving just 20 miles from Woking, it was with some relief that I made it to a freezing cold bar, sat down with a pint, and unwound before the game.

 

Leatherhead came out firing, taking their frustrations from the traffic out on the hosts and looking for goals from the very first minute. We thought we had the breakthrough when Hogan smashed home a low cross into the box, but the flag went up 2-3 seconds after the referee had awarded the goal. New-boy Halim also put the ball into the net a few minutes later, but the flag went up well beforehand, and he was lucky to escape without a yellow card.

 

Then came the goals. First, Hogan darted in from the left and smashed the ball across the face of the goal, past the diving Roger Daltrey lookalike in goal. Matters got worse for Hayes & Yeading just five minutes later, when a cross was blocked by a raised arm in the box. A penalty was awarded and neatly dispatched by Kane, despite the 'keeper diving the right way and the distraction of a supporter live-streaming the spot kick to someone at home, shouting, "Can you see it?" as Kane took the run-up.

 

Hogan made it a brace as we queued for a warming cup of tea, latching onto a spilled save at close range to send us into halftime 3-0 up.

 

The second half made me wish I'd taken my own advice and worn two pairs of socks. Leatherhead eased off the gas a little but still controlled the game while maintaining a respectable amount of attacking intent. Hayes & Yeading took advantage of this and created some good chances for themselves, but Sonny and the crossbar proved to be too good for them.

 

Leatherhead then added a couple of cherries to the cake. Anas cheekily chipped the ball over a diving 'keeper for a goal, and Halim scored on his debut with a powerful side volley into the corner.

 

A five-goal win, away at a side just outside the play-offs, is just the boost we need as we head into an almighty showdown with Westfield on Saturday…

Travelling Tanners

Leatherhead travel to a side that will be looking to get into the play-off places with any kind of results against us tonight.  We have been relying on late goals, in the league, to keep us top but hopefully we can make things a bit more comfortable tonight.  The weather certainly won't as it could be the first Double Socker of the season.

 

Kick off at 7.45pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Travelling Tanners

into the play-off places with any kind of results against us tonight.  We have been relying on late goals, in the league, to keep us top but hopefully we can make things a bit more comfortable tonight.  The weather certainly won't as it could be the first Double Socker of the season.

 

Kick off at 7.45pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!