Cray Wanderers 0 - 1 Tanners

Whilst some supporters lounged around at home watching a very poor premier league side on TV, the true fans made their way to Hayes Lanes. After all, you could still watch the Tanners and get home in plenty of time to watch the best club side in the world at 8pm.

Guy did well to ignore advice from an old Leatherhead stalwart who advised him that Cray were playing at their old ground. Meanwhile, Jerry looked disconsolate as he scoured the terraces for his No. 1 fan but to no avail. 

Bromley have replaced the old broken wooden benches and nails behind the far goal with a shiny new stand. You just aren't allowed to go in it in case you make it dirty. 

The first 10 minutes were all Tanners as several half chances were created. Then the game quickly started to get boring. So boring in fact that the Cray manager hopped over the fence and started running up and down the terraces coaching his defence...."Sorry lads, they weren't listening to me" .....he told us as he finally returned to his technical area.

The refurbished bar is fantastic. TVs everywhere and as warm as toast. It was a wrench to leave it but very soon Callum warmed the chestnuts with a goal early in the 2nd half. The game improved slightly although the Cray 'keeper mulled that it was a very poor match which he put down to gluttony and slothfulness.

Cray very nearly ruined the day for us in injury time when an open goal was missed from just 8 yards out. The referee finally bought a cold afternoon to an end and we edge closer to the play off zone. 

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way 
Oh what fun it was to see the Levred win away 
(Instead of slobbing around at home). Hey.

Travelling Tanners

Boxing Day and it's the bumper festive fixture of Cray Wanderers away.  Kingstonian / Corinthian-Causuals or Merstham would be too obvious.

Kick off at 3pm.  Bah humbug.

Happy Christmas!

From all of us here at The Lip, Happy Christmas!  I hope you all kept the receipt for the league's choice of Boxing Day fixture...

Travelling Tanners

While The Mole threatens to rise again, Leatherhead travel to Margate to play on their all-weather pitch.

Our hosts sit one place and two points behind us so looks to be a close game.  Never mind that though.  An envious look at their fixtures show they have a local derby of Folkestone on Boxing Day... while we have a trip to Cray Wanderers...

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas.

Ks are coming

I have left it as long as I could but I am going to tempt fate now and say Ks are coming to the Grove tonight.

One time tenants; now sneering at our irrelevance and pub-team-esque stature, they come to the Grove sitting five places below us in the table.

Kick off at 7.45pm.  See you there!

Leatherhead 1 - 0 Brightlingsea Regent

Leatherhead fielded a full strength side although still awaiting international clearance for Zeus and Hades. 

Brightlingsea Regent are struggling in the league so they were unlikely to come bearing any gifts. Meanwhile we were desperate not to come acropolis in a winnable Homer fixture. On a cold day such as this a Baklava would have been very useful.

Brigtlingsea created the first goal when a defender headed the ball square into his team mates face and flattened him. Will Salmon made full use of the space created to make it 1-0 after just one minute. 

We dominated the opening exchanges and Ibrahim and Tommy Wood both went close whilst Jerry rose like an Adonis to send a cross soaring over the Bernard EdwardsStand. Chloe shrugged claiming it was nothing to do with her. Mensah had the next chance firing the ball straight at the keeper when one-on-one.

Unfortunately I had to leave at half time as I had a date with Julian Clary so the rest of the game was behind me but the score remained 1-0. With several teams not playing the 3 points elevated us up to 10th in our league Odyssey and just about Virgil on the play-offs.

No one likes a big one more than Julian so he would love to squeeze in the the visit of K's on Tuesday even with cold balls.

Brightlingsea Regent are coming

Leatherhead's position in the league still looks rather low despite the recent string on wins.  The distraction of the Trophy is to blame as we have about three games in hand.

Our coastal friends come to the Grove today in a rather precarious position; hovering around the relegation places.

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas.

Tanners 2 - 0 RVP

Despite there being no serious trouble at The Grove for 20 years (with the exception of Jamie O'Hara punching a child) the club has decided it is money well spent to employ several security staff bearing cameras. On this rainy evening they were able to man mark the supporters rather than adopt a zonal defence.

We also have a new sleeping policeman at the entrance to the car park which is so high as to potentially damage a sports car. I hope the club is insured. There are normally 3 stewards standing there anyway so it all seems rather unnecessary.

As you can probably tell the match was a low key affair. So low key that you could leave your piano at home. Leatherhead had all the best chances in the first half including a goal through a hole in the side netting. The referee initially gave it whilst the Tanners sneaked back to the half way line giggling. The linesman had spotted it however and a corner was given as a compromise even though it was a goal kick.

In the 2nd half RPV (from 2 leagues below) became embarrassed by our attempts to beat them so one of their defenders neatly finished off a cross by Ibrahim. Travis added a well taken goal late on to ensure the victory and round off a game that will live short in the memory.

Raynes Park Vale are coming!

Scrap that!  I've just been informed the game was switched to Fetcham Grove.

Kick off still at 7.45 though...

Travelling Tanners

A chilly night is in store for tonight's Surrey Senior Cup game away at Raynes Park Vale.

Cherrypickers have picked the new lights up and hopefully this time it will go ahead without a hitch.

Kick off at 7.45.  Good luck fellas.

Lewes 0 - 1 Tanners

It was a bleak wintry day by the South Downs. Roll on spring when young lambs will be gaily frolicking in the meadows amongst the pansies. Despite the cold weather a healthy sized group of travelling supporters made the journey, braving the average speed checks and demands to go Christmas shopping from tyrannical wives.

The usual Lewes parking dilemma has been solved somewhat unsatisfactorily by a local college exploiting their local football club by charging £2 to park in their empty car parks. Jeremy Corbyn has promised to set aside £31 billion to provide free car parking and free soup at all non-league football grounds. Boris Johnson has rejected the idea suggesting that footballers should put on gloves and throw the ball against a wall.

The game couldn't have started much better when on just 4 minutes Simon Mensah drifted past a defender and passed the ball into the net. Lewes spent the rest of the first half rolling on the floor in agony and rather strangely wasting time. The referee bought much of the feigned injury and awarded about 20 fouls making for a messy first half.

The strangest moment of the 2nd half was the announcement that the crowd was 524 when it looked to be about 300. The next weird moment was the substitution of Ibrahim on 56 minutes which seemed to turn the game. The chances we were creating dried up and suddenly Lewes were all over us like a cheap suit in the FA Cup at Torquay.

In the end we were hanging on and Lewes will feel unlucky not to have stolen a point in the last few minutes. Man of the match goes to Charlie Hester Cook for his tireless work in midfield and defence. He certainly earned his free cab ride home although he wasn't allowed to eat in the back.

The three points see us sitting comfortably in mid table with a couple of games in hand and plenty to play for in the league. Meanwhile, a win over Raynes Park Vale in the Surrey Cup on Tuesday will give us a home tie with Sutton.

Travelling Tanners

A trip to the south coast(ish) is on offer today for mid table football with limited parking.

Lewes sit beneath us in the table but are unbeaten in their last three, including a very credible draw against Folkestone.

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas.

Ramsgate 2 - 3 Tanners

The home side appear to be quite down after this defeat, where they felt they did enough to win or at least take this game into the lottery of penalties... but Ibz had other ideas.

A masterclass from our infirm striker.  He found the net in the opening minutes and the few supporters that made the trip could have been forgiven for believing the win would be straight forward.

The hosts had other ideas; scoring not once but twice to take the lead and look favourites to progress but Leatherhead had other ideas...

Jerry popped up on 89 minutes (although Ibz appears to claim it himself via Twitter) and Ibz in stoppage time to grab the late win.

One long distance trip is followed by another; Lewes away on Saturday....

Travelling Tanners

Leatherhead dip their toe into the League Cup tonight with a rather unenviable trip to Ramsgate.

Our old friends play their trade a level below, in the Isthmian South East, and are having a horrible time sitting in 19th place.

Kick off at 7.45.  Directions can be found here.  Good luck fellas!