Saturday, December 29, 2018

Dorking Wanderers 2 - 0 Tanners

In a match of David and Goliath, The Goliath of Leatherhead was slayed by the Dorking David; armed only with a sling, a free ground and a squad heavily subsidised by Denbies.

I have to say, I felt like an old man entering the ground.  Reminiscing of the natural banked terraces that could easily cope with a large crowd.  This new modern stadium seemed to lack this (the camber of the area behind the far goal seemed to ebb away, reducing the opportunity to view the game for example)  and would surely fail to live up to the 2,500 capacity it boasts.   A ten minute delay was needed for a crowd 1,000 shy of this.

Leatherhead did not really threaten.  We had a shot on goal that looked certain to beat the 'keeper that went wide but other than that it was either tame or direct at the 'keeper.  The first half was dominated by a ref that loved the attention and dished out yellow cards for not much really

Dorking hardly set the world alight but were clinical when needed.  Sole latching onto to a through ball in the first half and a clinical finish in the second.

No New Year's Day game for us; we are home to Potters Bar on Saturday...

Travelling Tanners

Finally Leatherhead get to play this rearranged fixture from March, and a chance to finally see Dorking's publicly funded new stadium.

Dorking started the season as the pacesetters but have dropped away in recent weeks.

Kick off at 3pm.  In the £1-an-hour car park by 11am.  See you there.

Friday, December 28, 2018

Tanners 1 - 0 Carshalton

A last gasp winner to warm the hearts of the Leatherhead fans who are scratching their heads over what has gone wrong this Christmas.  Normally Santa brings you presents, but this year the fat bugger appears to have made off with D'Sean and £30,000 of FA Cup winnings.

The first half was difficult to watch.  Firstly, we changed ends and played towards the Leisure Centre end which means you miss some of the game when going to the queue for the tea bar.  Also, Leatherhead continued to play some overly ambitious long diagonal balls that were cut out with ease.

Second half and we managed to string some nice moves together and looked a lot more threatening.  When Gallagher struck the bar and the follow-up blasted over it looked like our it wasn't going to be our day (Carshalton also hit the woodwork) but we found a way to break the deadlock.

The sub made a massive difference.  Rob Cullen came on and just added the composure required in these situations.  Then in the last minute of normal time a ball was swung into the box that saw Sean, Ibrrahim and a defender converge on the ball.  Some thought Sean had headed it home, I thought it was an own goal, but tit was Ibrahim with the decisive touch.

On to Saturday, and the much awaited trip to Dorking Wanderers and their flash new ground...


Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Carshalton are coming...

Shhh... don't tell the club they've forgotten to rearrange this fixture for 10am. This Boxing Day game kicks off at the optimum time of 3pm at should see a big crowd come to The Grove.

If you can have a bogey team after just a couple of games it would be Carshalton. A clear handball on the line went unpunished in the league fixture, while a stunning comeback saw us knocked out in a bizarre penalty shootout.

With a 2-0 defeat in the game before Christmas, Leatherhead will say their bad form is behind them. Oh yes it is... oh no it isn't...

Carshalton are coming...

Shhh... don't tell the club they've forgotten to rearrange this fixture for 10am. This Boxing Day game kicks off at the optimum time of 3pm at should see a big crowd come to The Grove.

If you can have a bogey team after just a couple of games it would be Carshalton. A clear handball on the line went unpunished in the league fixture, while a stunning comeback saw us knocked out in a bizarre penalty shootout.

With a 2-0 defeat in the game before Christmas, Leatherhead will say their bad form is behind them. Oh yes it is... oh no it isn't...

Sunday, December 23, 2018

Folkestone Invicta 2 - 0 Tanners

I missed this game as I made a rare trip watching Southampton away to Huddersfield.  A team that have been revitalised thanks to their new manager, "The Klopp of the Alps".  Meanwhile our very own Mansell of Hastings is struggling to maintain similar form.

Disappointing cup exits gave way to scintillating form, which gave way to crushing defeats, then green shoots of recovery then 2-0 defeats on the road to a side we were showing ambitions of overtaking.

The damage in this game, to make matter worse, was Ian Draycott.  An ex-Leatherhead player who found the net twice, which somehow feels like his goal tally for us in the 2013/14 season.

On to Boxing Day and the arrival of Bubble & Squeak, unwanted relatives and Carshalton Athletic...

Friday, December 21, 2018

Travelling Tanners

Time to avenge probably the worst Leatherhead performance in about 20 years when we travel to Folkestone tomorrow.  The 5-1 thrashing was the icing on a pretty crappy cake, having been just knocked out of the FA Cup the game before.

All eyes will also be on Harlow, following the comments from Spencer football genius Knight.  If Harlow lose (again) I can only imagine it is because he has become distracted with news linking him with the Man United job.

Back to us though.  Directions can be found here.  Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas!

Sunday, December 16, 2018

Harlow 2 - 2 Tanners

This Christmas spare a thought for those less fortunate than yourself.

Take poor Spencer Knight for example, the Harlow Town Assistant Manager. 
He thinks we "are probably ones of the worst teams he has seen in 20 years of non-league football."


Let's look at that statement more closely. Harlow are in the relegation zone, failed to beat us at home and have 7 points less than us. I suggest he sees a worse team than Leatherhead play twice a week every week.

Poor Spencer had a very average football career. He never played league football. His little team only attracted 167 souls yesterday and only average 236.  So this year spare a thought for poor Tiny Spencer and his little club and send him a message of goodwill.

Oh, by the way, Ibrahim and Shaun scored the goals for us today. Shaun now has 9 league goals for the season. Just one behind Jason Prior (who would have got Merstham promoted) and 5 behind the leader Jamie Cureton.   A fine start to the game but Harlow forced their way back into the game, making it 2-2.

Today's draw leaves us rooted to lower mid-table. We travel to Folkestone on Saturday in an attempt to avenge a horrible FA Trophy performance.  If you are desperate to avoid Christmas shopping, or countless relatives arriving from Brazil, you know where to go.

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Merstham 0 - 2 Tanners

The outstanding performance of the evening went to Mick Sullivan for insightful interviews with Nikki Bull and Hayden Bird.

The award for most stupid idea went to Merstham for switching the game and keeping the reason secret. I can only think that Hayden Bird is going to see Julian Clary in Snow White at the London Palladium on Wednesday night. Anyway Merstham were suitably punished with a crowd of 138 and a 2-0 defeat. Oh yes they were.

Nikki Bull threw in a new suggestion for the recent poor run during his post match interview. He has almost moved on from blaming the budget (although he stated that was why Charlie was not staying for another month). Apparently we haven't had a training facility for 8 weeks and the players are having to train in Richard Bligh's back garden and get changed in his kitchen. Though I understand Richard is a charming host and makes very nice mince pies.

By all accounts it was a much better performance although, like most others, I wasn't there as I had a prior engagement. Goals came from Shaun and Ibrahim.

The last word goes to Hayden Bird who claimed Merstham would be top of the league is Jason Prior played for them. Now that's a better joke than you will find in any Christmas Cracker. 

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Travelling Tanners

Merstham clearly have no interest in European football and rearrange Wednesday's game for tonight.  You could argue we have no interest either as we agreed to it.

Leatherhead will hope to avoid a rather embarrassing mirror image of their November by losing four games in a row after winning four.  Something to reflect on...

Kick off at 7.45.  Directions can be found here.  Good luck fellas!

Saturday, December 08, 2018

Tanners 0 - 1 Brightlingsea Regent

After three straight defeats, that is the smile well and truly wiped of Nikki Bull's face.  With Leatherhead winning on aggregate 9-1 last season we could perhaps be forgiven for thinking this game was going to be straight forward and, dare I say it, entertaining but the game seemed boring even before kick off.

Something was missing today.  The pre-match music was subdued off the pitch and the likes of Amoo seemed quieter on it.  The visitors played their part by wasting time throughout and had the ref' well and truly sold on their defenders' falling over in the box move.

We huffed and puffed until we were stunned by a Van Basten-esque strike from a tight angle that found the side netting early in the second half.  With few supporters making the trip the goal was greeted by an eerie silence.  The goal was in fact completely missed by one supporter who commented in the car park on the way out that "at least it was a point".  I had to put him right... I had suffered 90 minutes of this crap and I was taking anyone down with me.

Off to Harlow on Saturday.  A chance to sing jingle bells and imagine what fun it would be to win away... or anywhere for that matter!

Brightlingsea Regent

Brightlingsea Regent make the long trip from their sleepy seaside town to face a Leatherhead side they've yet to beat.  

Our last encounter was a strange affair where Jerry got a hat trick by taking a penalty... imagine scoring from a penalty!

Kick off at 3pm. See you there!

Saturday, December 01, 2018

Lewis 1 - 0 Tanners

After all the excitement and hope of 4 straight wins come 2 defeats of our own making.

We lost to Corinthian Casuals through the indiscipline of our players arguing about penalty takers, and the indiscipline of our supporters who would up the opposition. Casuals lost tamely at Wingate today with no opposition supporters to motivate them.

In dreadful conditions today at Lewes, we gave the points away when Zak was beaten to a header at the far post by Will Seager. 

Where do we go from here? Is it down to the lake I fear?

Thursday, November 29, 2018

Tanners 1 - 2 Corinthian-Casuals

Leatherhead's winning streak was brought to an end by a Corinthian-Casual side that could flit from being streetwise to phsychotic with gay abandon.

The first half was a proper game of football.  End to end stuff with Leatherhead probably carving out more chances.  Charlie gave their 'keeper a warning sign when his long range shot had him scrambling across goal to only hit the side netting.  Moments later Amoo danced past a defender to slot him home via the near post.  A few weeks ago those chances would have gone out for a throw-in.

The ref played his part.  With the look of a P.E. teacher he trotted around given silly little fouls in order for him to find an excuse to run somewhere and then run back again,  As a supporter of the losing it is needless to say he was completely biased towards the visitors and it was from a very dubious foul Casuals launched the final attack of the game that made it 1-1.

The second half was a very different kettle of fish where the tone changed largely due to the ref.  He awarded a very dubious penalty... well... it wasn't a penalty at all.  The defender clearly won the ball and the visitors went ballistic, so ballistic the ref at one point turned to the crowd looking for help.  I didn't know where to put myself so suddenly found an email on my phone to attend to.  Travis stepped up and with Corinthian spirit struck it directly at the 'keeper.  Sporting.

From there on we were bullied by a side in full crazy mode as the game descended into a Sunday league style street fight.  On saving the penalty their no 10 was quick to offer a fight with any supporter who would care to listen.  He was back when they scored a tap in from a slip in defence with his excessive goading earning him a yellow card despite Casuals trying to get him subbed off.  We continued to attack and after a header went wide our attention was drawn to a Casuals player who started to violently threaten the assistant.  It took a red card and all his team mates to get him to leave the pitch under the supervision of two stewards.  The cause of the unrest was allegedly due to a comment about the player's grandfather... keep your Werther's Originals comments to yourself in future, officials!

Charlie was sent off too a few minutes later for two clumsy challenges and thus allowed the ref to tick the "evened it up" box in the unofficial law book.

So, players subbed off instead of being sent off; players sent off for attacking an official; I said something happened "more quicker"... utter chaos.  Hopefully we can all re-group and site down and ask what our mothers' would think of this all and try again Saturday with a trip to Lewes...

Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Corinthian-Casuals are coming

Storm Diana may have the final say on this one.  Persistent rain could well see this one being called off.  Hopefully a delay will not dampen the spirit in the Leatherhead team which sees us in fine form. 

Four wins all season looked unlikely a month ago but we have strung and impressive string of results against some of the best teams in the league.  Keep an eye out for possible pitch inspections etc...

Kick off at 7.45.  See you there.

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Tonbridge Angels 0 - 2 Tanners

Two sides who have had a remarkable turnaround in form met at the Longmead Stadium on a murky day.

Tonbridge have scored just 1 goal in 4 league games and couldn't score today for all the tea in China. In contrast we are on fire and have scored 11 in 4 league games.

Tonbridge is a very pleasant place to visit:

- Not too far to drive
- Ample parking
- Great burgers with imaginative names
- Civilised supporters
- A neat ground without a ludicrous numbers of stewards (ahem)
- And not a single high viz photographer in sight to spoil the view

Often that is where the hospitality ends but today the home side were subdued. We started well enough and were awarded a penalty when Amoo was bought down by the 'keeper. He converted it himself low into the corner. D'Sean added a 2nd just before half time with an accurate strike from the edge of the box.

The 2nd half saw a barn door placed behind our goal but despite countless attempts Tonbridge failed to hit it. Dan Gallagher was our man of the match today for his tireless tackling and distribution and he helped to ensure that we held on for a 2-0 win.

We now sit in 12th place and can start to look around us. There are no teams to fear in the league this season. Least of all Dorking.

Travelling Tanners

After a string of home games, Leatherhead hit the road and travel to Tonbridge Angels who sit in second place.

Despite our run of form, this will be a tough game and I predict plenty of nervous trips to the Tea Bar.

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas!

Thursday, November 22, 2018

Tanners 3 - 0 Burgess Hill Town

Whilst Sammy Moore's Dad's Army of Old Pros are starting to groan and creak on a remote marshland, Nikki Bull has been carefully building a young side full of enthusiastic players with their best years ahead of them.

This was our 3rd win on the bounce, and the team that could scarcely score a goal a couple of weeks ago are now brimming with confidence and have scored 9 goals in 3 games.

Jeremiah Amoo opened the scoring on 19' with a powerful shot from the edge of the box. The rest of the first half was closely fought and we were happy to go in to the break with a narrow lead.

We had the better of the chances in the 2nd half but it wasn't until 80' that Sean put us 2-0 up with a well taken header. A Burgess Hill sub who had only been on 2 minutes earned a straight red for a flying 2 footed challenge and Burgess Hill were finished. Jeremiah made it 3-0 whilst defenders stood around looking at each other in a feeble attempt to play offside.

There were great scenes of celebration around the ground at the final whistle but not just because of the result. It was because news had spread that the photographers and cameramen finally had enough shots of the crowd and would be moving on.

Tanners can travel to Tonbridge Angels on Saturday to see if we will maintain our progress.

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Burgess Hill Town are coming

Nikki Bull broke all records after our stunning win 4-1 over Enfield Town on Saturday when he sneaked his first smile into a post match interview. 

There were joyous scenes as the players left the pitch and no one will slope off if we win tonight. We have the chance to leapfrog 4 places into 14th leaving us just 6 points off the play-offs with a game in hand.

First we have to find a chink in the armour of Burgess Hill Town who beat the yellow men of Merstham so convincingly at the weekend.

Saturday, November 17, 2018

Tanners 4 (four) - 1 Enfield Town

A truly outstanding attacking display in the first half marked this down as the performance of the season.

The Enfield Town players must have awarded themselves the three points before they got into their cars this morning. They were strangely lacklustre and looked annoyed that we had forced them to travel 60 miles around the M25. By the time they realised we were much better than the league table suggests it was too late. They were 3-0 down and there was only 17 minutes on the clock.

Travis had opened the scoring with a cool finish at the near post. The pace and width of Travis and Jeremiah were a handful all game and Enfield had no answer. Charlie fired in from a corner for the 2nd, and Sean got the third with a powerful header. Fetcham Grove was buzzing to the sound of an Enfield drum as went in at half time 3-0.

The second half was a more even affair but we were still creating chances. Shaun Okojie has had a frustrating season at times but he was outstanding today, full of energy, and winning every header. A stunning finish at a tight angle gave him his 2nd we were 4-0 up. An uncharacteristic error gave Enfield a consolation goal. 

Passengers flying B.A. to China were delighted to find that 17 cameras around Fetcham Grove were streaming the game live on the inflight entertainment. The cabin crew waived away complaints from one particularly awkward passenger that most of the coverage was of the supporters behind the goal.

Our fifth and final home league game in a row sees the visit of Burgess Hill Town on Wednesday. They had a good win today over the ever bitter Merstham so we can expect a tough game.

Enfield Town are coming

Another home game pops up and we entertain Enfield Town.

While a fine comeback and a win will boost the confidence, our guests sit in fourth place so will be a tougher test.

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas!

Thursday, November 15, 2018

Tanners 2 - 1 Ks

This was a very similar performance to the games v Bognor and Margate except this time the footballing gods could bear it no more and smiled down upon us.

A very early goal by the homeless Ks left the Tanners fans shaking their heads and reaching for the Valium, but Travis came to the rescue just a few minutes later with a well taken goal.

The rest of the first half was fairly even and it wasn't until 51 minutes that D'Sean showed why Jimmy Bullard played him as an attacking midfielder (to be fair Jimmy played everyone as attacking midfielders). Sean made room for himself on the edge of the box and bent the ball into the corner of the net.

The ref had seen the league table and didn't like the scoreline one bit. He proceeded to try and get a equaliser by booking 3 Leatherhead players for very little reason, and giving free kicks to Ks at every opportunity. He did his best but this time we held out for the 3 points and clawed out of the relegation zone.

The dream of scoring 3 goals in a league game lives on but for now this hard fought win will do.

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Ks are coming

After only having three home games they have come thick and fast.  While this was just one explanation as to why points were hard to come by the recent run of results does not reflect home is necessarily where the heart is.

Ks come to the Grove having come to terms with their new Tolworth home and sit in 10th place.

Kick off at 7.45.  See you there!

Sunday, November 11, 2018

Tanners 0 - 1 Margate

Another disappointing defeat yesterday as Leatherhead failed, yet again, to take advantage of their superior possession.

The One That Screams for Margate was practically an air raid siren as raid after raid on the visitors' goal was either wasted or thwarted.  None more so in the second half when he hit the bar for the third game in a row (at least).  Leatherhead are practically relying on luck to get a goal now.  We need the 'keeper to through it in the back of the net or a mole to pop up and head it home...

The second half was tricky as we were debating when we would start shouting at the ref that the game should be abandoned, such was the deluge at half time which left a large puddle in the goal mouth.  Our claims were made weaker when the ball skipped through the area perfectly into their 'keepers hands and weaker still when we conceded so late in the game.  After 80 odd minutes of diligent defending a moment lapse let a player break free with the ball and was crudely brought down to give away a penalty.  It was coolly dispatched to ruin a day that was only mildly ruined by again people dicking around with cameras behind the goal.

Ks on Wednesday then... buckle up!

Saturday, November 10, 2018

Margate are coming

Margate come to The Grove in this rearranged fixture. I feared for this one going ahead after last night's deluge, but no news is hopefully good news.

A second half performance, akin to the one we saw at Carshalton, but for 90 minutes will do the trick.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there.

Tuesday, November 06, 2018

Carshalton 2 - 2 Tanners (3-2 on penalties)

In a bid to concentrate on the league, you have to admire Leeatherhad's dedication to the cause.  To be out of all cups - three on the first time of asking - by 5 November is a truly outstanding effort.  This master plan was nearly ruined last night when a second half saw us come back from 2-0 down to take the game to penalties.

The first half was a terrible affair.  A real pre-season friendly feel to it, with both sides going through the motions.  There game was there for the taking for any side that really wanted it.  Arguably we had the most chances but it was Carshalton that were more clinical.  A cross and a thumping header for the first and some individual skill, a flick over the head of a defender and a cool finish, for the second while we hit the bar and went wide.

Second half it was a very different kettle of fish.  Leatherhead wanted something from the game, even Carshalton wanted to win, and the game was better for it.  Our opening goal came from a ball driven low into the back post, tantalising in that neither defender nor 'keeper knew who was going to deal with it.  Luckily Sean knew what to do and slipped it past the stranded 'keeper.

We pushed for an equaliser and and after seeing the ball strike the bar and then go narrowly wide we thought we had missed our chance but the ref saved us.  He was a players ref.  No bookings, full of smiles, taps on bottoms, jokes etc. and he didn't want to blow the whistle when a side was in possession and attacking.  This allowed us one last cross and Sean was at hand to score the kind of header that is a joy to watch; powerful, back across goal, unstoppable.

The ref immediately blew his whistle after the restart so momentum was truly on our side.  Memories of Hanwell were fresh in our minds; there was no way we were going to muck this up...

So it seemed when their centre back stepped up first and Zak saved.  Sean then stepped up and a small conversation broke out as to whether this goal would constitute a hat trick or not... this matter was resolved by his attempt going wide.  0-0 and my job of keeping count was being made easy.

The next two were made (1-1) and then Carshalton took the advantage (2-1).  The shoot out took a sudden twist when Zak then stepped up to take one.  While you have to admire his courage, you can't his technique as it was blasted into orbit.  Zak did make amends by saving the next one.  D'Sean scored to make it 2-2 and then into the crux of the matter... the sudden death of the fifth penalty.  Carshalton scored and then with our fifth it was all over.  Such a poor penalty would be hard to find.  For this attempt to score the 'keeper would have needed to dive the wrong way, boil an egg and then slip on something.  As it happens he guessed right and saved it with ease.

Back to league duties then, with the visit of Margate on Saturday!

Sunday, November 04, 2018

Tanners 2 - 2 Bognor Regis

Leatherhead fans needed to see signs that the club was back on the up yesterday and for much of the game they got that.  No more so in the first half where Leatherhead looked by far the most comfortable of the two sides.

Our opening goal came from Sean, a swivelling strike with a hint of miss hit that did enough to beat the 'keeper.  By contrast a similar yet more cleanly hit strike from Travis deserved a goal bu twas well saved.

On the stroke of half time we had an open goal but missed our chance... where have we seen that before...

The second half was a marked contrast.  We were absolutely hopeless for about 20-25 minutes; long enough to allow our guests to score from the simplest of tap-ins at the far post.  The reaction of the Leatherhead supports was captured in High ruddy Definition as no less than three people in high-viz dicked around with three cameras; sticking them in peoples faces when really we would just like to watch the bloody game we had paid to watch.  PLEASE DO NOT REPEAT.

Leatherhead did respond.   The changes that Nikki made seemed to unsettle us, but soon they clicked and Cullen in particular lead the attack.  His classy pass fed in the newly signed Olutade who squeezed his shot under the 'keeper.  2-1!

Bognor Regis fancied their chances and piled on the pressure, narrowly going wide just before they got their goal.  Deep into stoppage time, their player danced past three tackles before finding room to shoot.  His fast feet must have allowed him to think he was Neymar as he pulled the trigger and found the top corner from distance.  A great goal, but a massive blow to Nikki Bull.

On to Carshalton and the inevitable cup exit on Monday night...


Saturday, November 03, 2018

Bognor Regis are coming

After all that unnecessary distraction of the FA Competitions, Leatherhead can concentrate on the league after freeing themselves from these shackles so brilliantly last week.

Bognor Regis will be the dose of smelling salts and a slap in the face to bring us back round; they sit in fifth place.  A raft of signings come in to help us compete at this level.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there.

Saturday, October 27, 2018

Folkestone 5 - 1 Tanners

We have had better weeks. Knocked out of 2 cups. Shipped 7 goals. Missed out on £28,250. Dropped into the relegation zone. 

From the moment Folkestone opened the scoring on 7 minutes it looked like we were going to be on the wrong end of a hiding. The players looked tired and demoralised after playing 120 minutes just 3 days ago. 

Folkestone were 3-0 up at half time and even the chalk horse up on the hill hardly needed to get out of a canter. It doesn't actually look much like a horse anyway.

After 63 minutes we were 5 down and talk turned to the last time we got battered 7 or 8 nil. Fortunately, Folkestone started to lose interest and feel sorry for us even allowing Sean a consolation goal on 79 minutes. 

It will be a long hard winter of discontent if we don't start winning some league games soon.

Friday, October 26, 2018

Travelling Tanners

As one cup door closes another one opens. Although the FA Trophy door doesn't normally stay open for too long.

We travel to Folkestone, the scene of a famous play-off victory under the leadership of Richard Brady (whatever became of him) in 2014. We won 3-1 on penalties after finishing extra time 1-1. The legendary Tom Bradbrook had put us in the lead on 13 minutes. This was revenge for a play off semi final defeat on penalties in 2010. 

Will tired legs and deflated minds recover enough for us to put in a good showing tomorrow in an attempt win £3,250? After all we are the famous Leatherhead and we've been to Wembley although there have been 40 years of hurt in this competition since then......

Thursday, October 25, 2018

Tanners 1 - 2 Hitchin Town (AET)

Hitchin Town proved to be an H too far.  In a season jam-packed with mediocre performances this game stood out from the rest. It was even worse.

Our luck in the previous three rounds of the FA Cup by drawing teams from lower leagues came to an end as we were cruelly forced to play a team at our own level.

Hitchin were more streetwise, more experienced and had a plan. We were devoid of ideas and toothless. Jerry stood out again by defending heroically, also scoring our goal, but generally we are indecisive, horribly out of form, and lacking in any confidence.

We squeezed past Hanwell from the level below with one goal in 210 minutes. In the league we have scored just 8 goals in 810 minutes. (Excluding Haverhill of Level 5) Elliot hasn't scored a single goal all season and Sean hasn't scored since September 8th.  So by having the penalty well saved on the stroke of half-time, it was always likely to be an uphill struggle.

Hitchin Town brought up extra-time with a goal on 70 minutes and from there our best hopes were in penalties, but we failed to keep the guests out who by now and the smell of blood in their nostrils.

The midfield lacks an enforcer and a leader. D'Sean was originally a winger so not sure why he is now expected to be Dennis Wise. Dan is left to valiantly try and protect the defence on his own. We set up to get the ball wide and get in crosses, but no one has noticed that we have no natural headers of the ball.

We are less than the sum of our parts.

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Hitchin Are Coming

Hitchin Town come to the Grove tonight, fresh from hobnobbing with the BBC, to decide who has the right to play Solihull Moors in the FA Cup First Round Proper.

Leatherhead may feel they missed their chance, given the "advantage" of having a man advantage for 70 minutes but will hopefully be confident given the experiences gained from our last replay.

Kick off at 7.45. Good luck fellas.

Monday, October 22, 2018

Hitchin 1 - 1 Tanners

Leatherhead get into the hat for tonight's draw, but failed again succumbed to the curse of playing a team reduce to 10 men.

Leatherhead were dealt this blow just 20 minutes into the first half.  The ref deemed a foot to be raised and so a straight red card shown. 

Early in the second half, Leatherhead scored a goal that many would have thought would be enough to take us through into the second round.  Travis pouncing on a ball in the box to prod it home from close range.

The ref was a bit of a ponce though and gave a soft penalty to HItchin to even out the soft red card which allowed the hosts to score and take this game to a replay. 

The location of the televised draw remains with the self-declared underdogs of Hitchin... but all eyes will be on who the prize of winning the replay will be.  Sunderland away anyone?

Thursday, October 18, 2018

Travelling Tanners

This is the big one.  We are off to Hitchin Town.  That said, and I don't know if it is because I am flying to Azerbaijan on Saturday, I feel the game seems to be understated this year.  Both teams seem keen to be seen as  the underdog by losing their games and tickets still remain available on the coach.

Nevertheless, tomorrow is massive.  A real shot at the £25,000 and the chance to be in the same hat as the likes of Sunderland.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  Good luck fellas.

Saturday, October 13, 2018

Wingate & Finchley 1 - 0 Tanners

Leatherhead earned the right to the title of underdogs against Hitchin with a weary first half performance that ultimately cost us the game.

After 120 minutes of commitment and hard work against Hanwell on Tuesday and £15,000 (see refund terms and conditions) it is hard to be too critical.

For Wingate & Finchley, this was the first game in charge for Nicky Shorey.  He had a quite illustrious career with Villa, Forrest and Fulham before joining West Brom for £1.3m in 2010. He went on to make 2 full international appearances for England which is two better than Jimmy Bullard.  However, if he is anything like Jimmy Bullard as a manger he will soon get bored and give up.

The usual goal against us by MCS came on just 18 minutes. We struggled to cope with Storm Callum in the first half which blew everything out of play. In the 2nd half we were much better and had numerous chances on goal. Unfortunately, our two main strikers seem to have left their shooting boots at their previous clubs.

The sooner we get to play Sunderland in the FA Cup the better. We can then concentrate on the league.

Travelling Tanners

After the drama of the penalty shoot out, Leatherhead must now focus on the the league and a trip to Wingate & Finchley.  Our hosts sit just one pont behind behind us and a loss would start to make the season look like a bit of a dog fight.  On a plus note, it my allow us to claim the "underdog" status that Hitchin were so quick to take up...

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  Good luck fellas!

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Hanwell 0 - 0 Tanners (Tanners win 4-2 on penalties)

There was no winner in this game; just a murderer and an accomplice.  On arriving at Hanwell, I was rather impressed with the outfit.  Friendly and an amazing playing surface, but any goodwill for the club soon dissipated when the rhythm of the game was constantly disrupted by cynical foul after cynical foul.  The ref appeared to prefer talking to the home side while dishing out yellows to the Tanners in the early part of the game, although this balanced itself out towards the end of the game.

Their 'keeper is a chatty type, who received dog's abuse in the home tie, who engaged in friendly "banter but I can't help feel he talks a lot of crap.  He started by telling me their scoreboard was donated from Brentford, which turned out to be not quite true.  He then went on to say the pitch was maintained by the centre back, number 6 was Glenn Tamplin's cousin and they had subbed off their two best penalty takers.  Well, the last part may be true...

The game was horrible.  A pre-match interview on Talk Sport had Nikki Bull saying how he wanted the young team to express themselves.  Unless he has picked the dullest bunch of players ever assembled that never really happened.  There were flashes of mediocrity to lift the mood, but any advance down the wing was turn turned into an array of backward and side ways passes.  Hanwell were well organised and gratefully accepted the gift and played their part in making the game as dull as possible.

In the second half was perhaps our better half where we struck the woodwork twice from set pieces.  That said Zak needed to be pretty decisive in some of his saves.  Extra time, Jesus... what was the point?  Hanwell probably edged it but certainly they seemed happy to go into penalties.

There is only one thing more disappointing in life than not getting what you want and that is getting it.  Hanwell wanted penalties and they were given a masterclass in how to save them from Zak.  Their first spot kick had Zak guessing correctly, with two hands behind it, but some how it squirmed in.  We then levelled.  Then a special word for their number 7, happy to blow ironic kisses at the travelling fans when we accused of him of diving and wasting time (which he was) only for him to miss the first with the worst kick of the night.  Pucker up!  The 'keeper regained his pantomime villain status by flicking the ball over D'Sean's head as he approached the spot to try and add to the pressure; it didn't matter, he scored.

Zak got his and to the next penalty but it went in off of the post.  Where are we, I've lost count?  We scored to make it 3-2 and then Zak saved again giving us a chance to win with the next kick.  Cooney stepped up and slotted it home to book us into the next round and add another £15,000 to the FA Repayment Fund.

Great times.




Tuesday, October 09, 2018

Travelling Tanners

Yesterday's draw of Hitchin Town (new ground klaxon) makes this replay even more significant.  For the second year running we have avoided teams higher in the pyramid and while Hitchin are at the same level, it could have been a lot worse.  We could have be drawn against Dover or something.

However, tonight's hosts will have aspirations of travelling to Hertfordshire themselves and if they equip themselves as well as they did on Saturday they may achieve that.

Kick off at 7.45pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Saturday, October 06, 2018

Tanners 1 - 1 Hanwell Town

Very heavy weather indeed and then it started to rain.

Alfie Cue scored in injury to spare our blushes and also spared Hanwell £15,000. Well at least for now.

It wasn't just at Fetcham Grove that people were worried. There were furrowed brows at the F.A. as well. After all, Hanwell may be well organised enough to keep their winnings.

Leatherhead huffed and puffed and played more backwards and sideways passes than Kevin Spacey at a drama school. We dominated possession but were mostly toothless and bereft of creative ideas against a well organised and totally committed Hanwell defence who only had 10 men for 40 minutes.

Never mind. All is forgiven. Let's play better on Tuesday. Much better.

Friday, October 05, 2018

Hanwell Town are coming

I'm going to stick my neck out here and say two sides have never met before. Tomorrow we welcome Hanwell town to fetch some growth in this FA Cup third qualifying round tie.

Winning this will officially see us on a cup run.  Lose it and it's over to Crowd Funding for repairs.

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas.

Saturday, September 29, 2018

Plastic Pitch 1 - 1 Tanners

A unnatural bounce took Zak by surprise and prevented us from taking all 3 points away from Sussex by the Sea.

A superb crowd of 906 weren't afraid to leave the in laws at home and came to watch the Levred.

Woody and Chloe had enjoyed a pre-match Cod and Chips on the seafront and all was going wonderfully until the 89th minute and that bounce.

Nevertheless this was probably our best performance of the season especially the first half when we were lively and creative. 
Wednesday's home league game has been postponed as Corinthian Casuals have a cup match.

Travelling Tanners

Today's game couldn't get much tougher.  A trip to Worthing is a tricky affair at the best of times, chuck in their form and plastic pitch and this could head south quickly.

Leatherhead have shown real progress though, and scoring a few goals in the FA Cup can only boost confidence.

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas.

Monday, September 24, 2018

Hanwel Town at home

The reward for getting through to the third qualifying round is a home tie to Hanwell Town.  A team going quite well (7th) in the Bostik South Central Division. 

The game is to be played on yet another weekend I find myself away!  6 October.

Saturday, September 22, 2018

Haverhill 0 - 6 Tanners

This was a case of Men v Boys. The Men went to watch an FA Cup game at Haverhill. The Boys went to pick up in-laws on the instruction of the wife.

This was one of the easiest draws we could have got as Haverhill are at level 5 but that hasn't stopped us losing to teams at this level in years gone by.

Haverhill have a tidy ground and a superb pitch and slightly American Football style supporters with a silly drum and trumpet. Mostly they were here to enjoy the day and no one seemed that concerned when we opened the scoring through Sean on 8 minutes.

Man for man we were too strong for Haverhill despite their henpecking, and it never looked likely that we would be under the thumb for too long. Robert added a 2nd and we went into the convivial bar 2 up. 

We started the 2nd half with real purpose and soon went 3 up thru Elliott then 4 up thru Elliott. He then got promptly subbed. That will teach him to score 2 goals. He didn't want a hat trick anyway.

Travis made it 5-0 from the spot then scored again for 6-0 to complete a comprehensive win.  As a lucky omen, I also missed the game we scored heavily last year... Let's hope for a nice home draw in the next round.

Travelling Tanners

I'm not having the best of weekends.  After months of training, the 100 mile ride I was going to undertake (the Velo South) was cancelled due to bad weather.  In addition, my Brazilian family land from Brazil at 4pm and we need two cars pick them up, which results in me missing this tantalising game. 

That wouldn't have been so bad as I had an AirBNB booked for myself just outside Chicester by a country pub tonight for myself but I am not going there either ON ACCOUNT OF THE BLOODY RIDE BEING CALLED OFF!

...and breathe.  The new ground klaxon sounds as you lot travel to Haverhill of the Eastern Counties League Premier Division.  They sit near the bottom with only a win and a draw, but have played a couple of games less while they enjoy their progress in the Cup.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  Good luck fellas.

Monday, September 17, 2018

Potters Bar 0 - 1 Tanners

Everything about this game screamed scrappy. Arduous road conditions, the scrap to find a parking space... hell, it was so scrappy the lady in the tea bar needed to take a break 15 minutes into the game and shut up shop for 10 minutes.

On the pitch Leatherhead equipped themselves well and certainly were the better team in the first half.  Our goal came from Cullen, who struck his shot from just inside the area into the top corner after the home side failed to clear. 

We struck the bar from distance too but, on the whole , chances were hard to come by but we went off the happier side.  As Nikki Bull strode off I was impressed with his maintaining of the high line with regards to his tie; the point coming halfway down his chest.  I assume this is because he allows for some dramatic unloosening of it as the stress levels build in the second half.

Predictably it was indeed Potters Bar who came out firing and were now creating some clear cut chances; Zac earning every penny of his clean sheet bonus.

Nikki Bull's tie would have been nestling perfectly on his belt as Sean missed a one on one with the 'keeper at a time when we really needed the second goal but we held on to get a valuable win on the road.

FA Cup duty next week!

Friday, September 14, 2018

Travelling Tanners

Tomorrow we travel to newly promoted Potters Bar FC in the league after the distraction of the cup games.  Both clubs are safely through to the next round in the FA Cup while deciding that the league cup is too much effort and crashing out.

NEW GROUND KLAXON!

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Tanners 0 - 1 Worthing

A smattering of 1st team players.

A modicum of interest amongst the supporters.

More than a hint of Autumn in the air.

A strong Worthing side full of confidence.

A weakened Tanners side with unfamiliar faces.

The predictable late Worthing goal.

The regular early League Cup exit.

Worthing Are Coming

The Velocity Trophy (!?) tonight and Worthing arrive to the Grove in fine form. Second place and going well.

The FA Cup will hopefully provide a boost to the team both in terms of the result and the draw taking us to pastures new.

Kick off at 7.45.  Good luck fellas.

Saturday, September 08, 2018

Tanners 2 - 0 Herne Bay

Leatherhead book a place in a bag to have Trevor Brooking fondle us into the next round.  Herne Bay are not enjoying life in the league below, so without form on their side they would just have to go toe to toe with us and in th first half we proved too strong. 

A great deal of possession and creativity, particularly from D'Sean, was rewarded when Sean tucked away a shot from close range via the post.

Second half and Leatherhead started slipping down the gears effortlessly.  From dominant, to comfortable to defencive to pensive.  It was at this moment I sensed it was the moment to give Leatherhead their important second goal by loudly announcing I needed the toilet.

It worked as a long ball and found Deacon on the wing; under pressure he moved past the returning defenders to power a shot into the bottom corner.

2-0 the game safe and everyone felt relieved.  The draw in Monday...

Herne Bay are coming

The "magic" of the cup comes to Leatherhead today at a difficult time for Leatherhead.  Any progress shown since the opening game of the season took a knock wih the defeat last weekend, where in the second half we looked rather lost.

Leatherhead have been boosted with the return of two of last year's FA Cup heroes, plus a further signing which will hopefully allow the side to bounce back.

Pulitzer prize winning interviews at 2.30; kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Saturday, September 01, 2018

Tanners 1 - 3 Harlow Town

Disappointing.  Leatherhead fans probably went into this game fancying their chances.  We have shown some good signs of making progress, while our opposition is having a torrid time (albeit after just a handful of games).

Despite Harlow missing a free header, it was Leatherhead who started the game looking the most accomplished.  Harlow's defence was easily fooled and we pulled them apart like a well done chicken.  Sean forcing a good save before Robert had free range down the middle to slot home his first goal for the club.

Then, it all just started falling apart.  Our defence became disorganised; a good save from Bull was not followed up by our defenders and they scored from the rebound first their first while gifting enough space for Bull to be beaten near post.

Soon we became despondent, as what ever Bull said at half time failed to do the trick.  Harlow making it 3-1 just 38 seconds into the second half.  Later we were dishevelled as we missed a penalty.  A chance to make it 3-2 and the ball wrestled from Sean, never mind a player who score 40 goals last season he was the player most likely to score today.  The biggest player won the battle for the opportunity but his kick was obvious, wrong height and well saved.

Not even the spectacle of a drink break - a drink break! - could lift the home side that goes into the FA Cup tie against Herne Bay looking rather disillusioned...

Friday, August 31, 2018

Harlow Town are coming

Nikki has been so brutally honest in his post match interviews that they have now received a 12A rating. If we fail to beat bottom of the table Harlow Town on Saturday they may be reclassified as 15.

A win would see us nudge safely into mid table. A defeat would see us blocking Sammy and Jack and their little friends from Twitter. 

There may be scouts and guides from Herne Bay watching the game. You will easily spot them eating bananas and not disposing of the litter in the black bins provided.

Monday, August 27, 2018

Carshalton 2 - 1 Tanners

Nikki is starting to let things slip. He wasn't wearing a suit but still looked rather nice in blazer and tie.


Carshalton are newly promoted but their budget doesn't yet stretch to real grass. They called an emergency supporters meeting in a pub but there was no appetite for it.


Both sets of supporters approached this game in a low key manner with low expectations. Those expectations were well met in a scrappy first half.


The 2nd half was much livelier. Early on a goal mouth scramble saw the ball hit the bar but it was Carshalton who took the lead on 64' through a similar scramble, then fired in a long range effort a few minutes later to go 2 up.


Robert Cullen grabbed one back with a diving header. The referee then showed he was a wimp by choosing to ignore a handball right in front of his nose when a Carshalton defender deliberately prevented a header going into the net.


We can feel very unlucky to only get a single point from 2 hard fought bank holiday weekend games.


It's not all bad news though. At least we didn't lose 5-0 at home. A long way to go to take a few photos and tweet.

Travelling Tanners

Leatherhead's Bank Holiday travels continue with a trip to Carshalton Athletic.
We have just one more point than them, and it could have been more but for a last minute equaliser.
Kick off at 3pm. Good luck fellas.

Saturday, August 25, 2018

Tanners 1 - 1 Bishops Stortford

The loud and passionate Leatherhead supporters, well Woody and Gary, travelled the 60 miles to Hertfordshire and returned with a hard earned point. 

Rod had dispensed with his "RE" touchline jacket and was loitering behind the goal incognito. He explained that as company secretary he was still very much entitled to wear the jacket but he just wasn't in the mood. 

Rod was however in nostalgic mood tenderly carrying an FA Cup 1st Round programme of Leatherhead v Bishops Stortford from 1976.  Nikki was bang up to date though. He was sporting a glorious bespoke saville row suit in dashing grey. Ooh! Suits you sir.

Meanwhile on the pitch, Bishops Stortford had the best of the first half having a penalty saved and missing a one on one, but it was the Tanners who went in 1 up at half time with a header from Sean Okojie on 43'.

We were quite comfortable in the 2nd half and looked the more likely to score until a late equaliser on 89' prevented our first away win of the season. It was probably a fair result yet somewhat disheartening.

Nous voyageons a Carshalton jour ferie lundi.

Friday, August 24, 2018

Travelling Tanners

There is great anticipation surrounding the trip to Hertfordshire on Saturday. Will Nikki wear the same suit, a different suit, or casual clothing? Will he smile?

These are just some of the important issues facing us as we travel to Bishops Stortford who have made a sideways move from the Southern Premier. They have had a poor start to the season with just one point so will be anxious to chalk up their first win.  Meanwhile Sean and Travis will be looking to add to their goal tally and propel us further up the league.

Exciting times. You certainly wouldn't want to be driving around France for 2 weeks when Devon is just as nice.  Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas!

Sunday, August 19, 2018

Levred 2 - 1 Haringey

Nikki Bull showed our previous managers how to look the part today. 

Gone. The tracksuit of some Mooro. 
Gone. The skinny jeans and man bun of the Bulldog.
Gone. The homeless beard and pocket billiards.

What we saw instead was a wonderful elegant blue suit so it was fortunate that Nikki was not in goal today or it would have got crumpled. He was replaced by a very competent Craig Ross who had made 39 appearances for Barnet last season.

A strong first half performance and goals from Okojie and Gregory gave us our first win of the season leaving us just 3 points off the play offs. Next up we are away to Bishops Stortford and a chance to see if Nikki has more than one suit.

Meanwhile, the Haringey Borough manager played the part of a sore loser going berserk at the final whilst trying to attack our manager. He was found not guilty of affray so you knew it was bad. Apparently he wasn't offended by the suit but livid about alleged  time wasting as we ran out of balls in the final few minutes. Hardly our fault though as his players had hoofed them all into the car park and the river.

Thursday, August 16, 2018

Tanners 1 - 1 Whitehawk

The mysterious cloud of what really happened at the end of last season is still lingering over Fetcham Grove. 

Jack Midson continues to tweet snidey remarks and laughing emojis but won't actually say anything of interest. Meanwhile Nikki Bull is valiantly trying to build a side of players that can compete in the league after Sammy and Jack decimated the side. Their bold 5 year plan, explained with such passion at the fans' forum, turned into a one year then run off to a salt marsh plan.

After a worrying display at Hornchurch, this was a much more encouraging performance and the Tanners were unlucky not to take all 3 points. Sean Okojie smashed the ball into the net to equalise in the first half, but will be disappointed that he didn't convert one of 2 golden chances to win the game.

There were also encouraging performances from new boys Robert Cullen and Travis Gregory, whilst Jerry and Dan Gallagher showed those in Essex that the words loyalty and commitment weren't just catchphrases.

3 points on Saturday and all will begin to be forgotten......

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Whitehawk are coming

Whitehawk put down an early marker at the weekend, and come to Leatherhead no doubt full of confidence.  Leatherhead meanwhile try to find their feet after a disjointed performance away at AFC Hornchurch over the week.

Kick off at 7.45.  See you there!

Saturday, August 11, 2018

AFC Hornchurch 3 - 0 Tanners

Too early to say what this result truly means for the season; our hosts could be a big spending team on the up or a side punching above their weight.  That said, those in attendance will be leaving with a sense of foreboding.  This could be a long season.

When the first goal came we were quietly going about our business.  Travis looked strong and confident on the ball and our J League signing was spraying the ball around nicely.  After the goal our work became quieter, practically a whimper.

In the second half Leatherhead mustered a tame shot on goal and a free kick that was tipped around the post.  Meanwhile AFC Hornchurch grew in confidence, something you can win in pre-season, and went on to score two more.

Whitehawk on Wednesday, a side with ambitions to get promoted...

Friday, August 10, 2018

Travelling Tanners

Here we go again.  Another season starts tomorrow after one of the lowest of low key pre-seasons I can recall.  Nikki seems confident in this approach but I can't help feel a comfortable win against Knaphill or Guildford United would go a long way to build some confidence on and off the pitch.
Our hosts were last year's Isthmian North Champions and they, by stark contrast, have enjoyed their pre-season.  Winning three games against Dulwich Hamlet, Concord and Enfield.
Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Saturday, August 04, 2018

Travelling Tanners

The last friendly and a trip to Farnborough as we hope Leatherhead can transition from "coming together" to "come together" by getting our first win.
Kick off at 3pm. Good luck fellas.

Saturday, July 28, 2018

Reading U23 are coming

The last home friendly today, and after losing all of the previous ones I wonder whether we should rearrange this and welcome Reading U13s to try and get a win.
The manager seems happy with the progress (and process, as is fashionable to say) and a few stars have been emerging.
Kick off at 3pm. Good luck with the process, fellas!

Saturday, July 21, 2018

Eastleigh are coming

After a tough test against Aldershot, which didn't go too well as it ended 0-4, we face Eastleigh in another preseason friendly.
Kick off at 3pm.  Hope the preparation for the season goes well!

Saturday, July 14, 2018

Aldershot Town are coming

A blast from the past today as we host Aldershot Town, a club we faced as the Phoenix outfit came through our league a while ago.
Kick off at 3pm. There may even be an international friendly on the bar TV too...

Friday, July 13, 2018

Fixtures are out

The fixtures are out, and we start with a trip to top of the league AFC Hornchurch.  This is then followed by Whitehawk at home.

Monday, June 25, 2018

Official site update

The Lip's link to the official site has been updated... yes, it has been a slow news month.

Wednesday, May 02, 2018

Merstham 3 - 1 Tanners

Twice now we have arrived at Sutton for the Surrey Senior Cup with a back story.  Last time we had only just won the play-offs and were clearly deflated, last night we had news of a pending departure and it appeared to have an equally unsettling effect.

We did open well, but soon Merstham got into their stride and on the whole we were second best.  There were some good performanced.  Niall was always willing to run at defenders, Jerry committed as ever and Jack looked up for it but this was mainly down to a running battle between him and their no6.

One goal came in the first half (looked like a mishap in defence when we failed to clear), and then two in the second (sloppy half-arsed pass that was cut out and a powerful shot from distance).

We did get one back, a Jack Midson header but we were soon heading out the well disguised exit.

Merstham were the better side all round, but one cannot help feel the timing of the negotiations coming to a conclsuion ruined any chance we had to even compete.  The search for a new manager continues...

Tuesday, May 01, 2018

The final...

Tonight Leatherhead take on Merstham in the Surrey Senior Cup final.  A side that always seems to find an extra gear when we face each other, or indeed an extra hand when blocking shots on the line.

A new elephant has entered the room.  Football finds it hard to keep a secret at the best of times but the timing of the latest story to break is very unfortunate.

Off to Gander Green we go then.  Kick off at 7.45.  Directions can be found here. See you in the queue to get in about 6pm!

Friday, April 27, 2018

Travelling Tanners

Two teams will face each other that probably hoped for more.  Tonbridge Angels would have started the season believing they had an outside chance of sneaking in, and while our hopes were muted for much of the season the final run in gave us real hope.

Of course there is a chance we could steal a place, but it would mean a goal swing of 13 goals and with Hendon sure to be there I cannot believe they are going to put Leiston to the sword.

Still a season to be proud of though and with the Surrey Senior Cup still to play for it could get even better.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.

Thursday, April 26, 2018

Tanners 1 - 2 Hendon

A game too far for Leatherhead as they fall short (subject to a miracle) of the play-offs, despite some heroic performances in recent weeks.

It was a shambolic start to the match, with Leatherhead not being able to do any of the basics right.  Balls were bouncing off of shins and passes going astray.  Hendon pounced on this uncertainty and hammered in their opening goal.  This then set the tone for some time wasting of the highest order.

We thought we had a first half equaliser, but no Russian lino at hand to see if the ball had crossed the line or not.

The second half needed a response and we got it, but it came at a cost.  So thin is our squad, changes could only be made internally within the starting eleven.  Gallagher and Midson both advanced with others forced to shuffle back and play out of position.

It initially paid off, with Midson heading home and the 'keeper pulling off two top saves.  Tom Richards gave way to Calum and the defencive frailty was exposed as Hendon scored late to cement their place in the play-offs and ours outside of them.

Disappointment but from a team that only had real purpose in the last few weeks of last season to where we are today, chuck in the FA Cup and the pending Surrey Senior Cup it has been a great season.  We just now hope they can stick together and have no one Wander off... 

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Hendon are coming

Hendon arrive at the Grove tonight for out last home game and to play out a very important game indeed. 

The play-offs are within touching distance but, with our goal difference, a win is likely to be the only result that will see us have a realistic chance when we face Tonbridge Angels on Saturday.

Kick off at 7.45pm.  Car park to be full by 6.45pm.  See you there!

Monday, April 23, 2018

Tanners 2 - 2 Leiston

Twists and turns a plenty in the second half to earn a point that could still prove to be enough, although probably favours the visitors.

The first half was largely scrappy.  For the second game in a row a shot struck an outstretched hand in the box, only for the ref to wave it away.  Derry struck close to half time with a poacher's goal.  A Nana shot was parried down on the line and Derry was the first to react.

Second half and it all went off.  Twice a Leiston player could not get to his feet after falling to the ground, the fact we were attacking was purely coincidence no doubt.  The second time they benefited as they returned the ball to Manny who was promptly put under pressure with his kick.  He fluffed it and they scored with the resulting attack.

We thought justice would be done when Derry was presented with a similar chance.  He stumbled over it a bit, and their 'keeper made a valiant effort to save it but he found the net to put us 2-1.

Leiston really did not want to lose to us and so piled on the pressure and thumped a call into the back of the net.

Could we come back and score a winner?  It looked like we were going to as D'Sean crossed in (after the lino tried flagging for a free kick long after it was obvious we had the advantage) which found Tom Richards.  His shot seemed destined to find the back of the net, but their 'keeper pulled off an amazing save.

Hendon or bust.

Saturday, April 21, 2018

Leiston are coming...

Layston? Lieston? Leeston? I have no idea how to pronounce our visitors, all I know is we have to beat them to stand a chance of getting in the play-offs.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Your players of the season are...

You've been voting for the Lip's Player of the Season and the winners are...

Fans' Player of the Season - Niall McManus
"Neil Grant Buzzing Development" player of the year - Reece Williams-Bowers
Ex-Leatherhead player of the year - Zaki Oualah
Best Ineligible Player - Yannis Ambroisine

Congratulations. You don't win anything, but the accolade should be more than enough.

Thursday, April 19, 2018

Tanners 0 - 1 Dulwich

Leatherhead had 45,501 reasons to feel hard done by last night as Dulwich stole all three points at the death.  Last minute action could decide our season, with a back-heel that did not go in at Merstham and this late blow last night.


The first half was tame.  Dulwich probably had the game under control, but it had a feel of pre-season friendly where Crystal Palace turn up with a load of youth players you have never heard of.  You should care about the score, but it was a nice evening so better to stand there and soak it in.


Second half and Leatherhead came out with a purpose.  Their 'keeper did not help matters for them by placing four or five goal kicks into the tea bar queue, but we managed to mount attack after attack and keep them hemmed in for much of the second half.


Then a tale of two corners.  With the game almost over, we launched a ball into the box that was gathered.  Leatherhead returned the favour by gifting them a sloppy corner and they sent in a similar ball.  The difference being they had three players of Jerry's stature waiting at the back post and managed to steer a header on target. 


1-0 and celebrations as if they had won the league.  With Billericay faltering, they may just have.

Our big games keep coming though.  Leiston come on Saturday...

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Dulwich Hamlet are coming

With their first wall gag under their belts already, Dulwich Hamlet arrive at the Grove tonight with a real shot of winning the title.  Hopefully the club won't surrender the three points as quickly as they did the bar takings as we are in need of both of those too.

Sometimes when a team scores more than 4 the wind goes out their sails a bit on the following game, but Dulwich should provide enough motivation for that not to happen.

Kick off at 7.45.  See you there!

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Brightlingsea 0 - 7 Tanners

A long trip, but worth it.  True the meal we had before hand was below par but the game more than made up for it.  Plenty of goals and, due to the distance, with a more select travelling support we could enjoy the game without a constant string of obscenities being launched at the ref and opposition.  The F word was rarely used, no one dropped the C-bomb and no player had their parentage doubted.

It was clear after just a few minutes Leatherhead, if they wanted to, could help themselves to a bag full of goals last night.  The newly promoted side have achieved their objective of survival with a youthful side, and as a result gifted us with ample space in which to run unhindered.  For the opening 10 minutes they did try to impose themselves with a few rash tackles but they soon got bored of that and it was open season.

The goal that opened the floodgates was meekly claimed by Nana.  I truth Nana's run on goal forced a covering tackle from behind which lofted the ball over the diving 'keeper.  There was nothing lucky about the second goal though.  A cross to Tom Richards invited a volley which flew into the net to continue his run.

2-0 at half time and little indication of what was to come.  In hindsight it was obvious.  Brightlingsea were struggling outfield as it was, then they had to sub their injured for a 17 year old 'keeper who would have struggled against the likes of Jerry in the box against a disinterested team.  Our tails were up and so he was forced to endure a torrid second half.

Two headers from Jerry put this game to bed.  Nana got a goal he could claim without swearing on his daughter's life.  Calum Davies added salt into the wound before a true talking point of the game... penalty-gate.

The penalty was won and Jerry ran to the ball to take it and claim his penalty.  D'Sean was the named penalty taker and so demanded he fulfil his responsibility.  The travelling supporters' chant of Jerry was unrelenting though, so he was allowed to step up and calmly claim the match ball ("I'll pay for it myself" he was heard saying after a local fan took umbrage to this).

With a healthy boost to our goal difference we are looking like a real contender for the play-offs... just a small matter of playing three of the other contenders in our last four games though...

Monday, April 16, 2018

Travelling Tanners

NEW GROUND KLAXON

Tonight Leatherhead make the long journey to Brightlingsea to play a genuine game in hand as the other offering is only K's and Merstham.  Four points from the play-offs, a win today would start placing a bit more hope on the "there" rather than the "there-abouts".

It is going to be one hell of a drive, so set off soon!  Directions can be found here.  Kick off at 7.45.  Unbelievably... see you there!

Saturday, April 14, 2018

Merstham 1 - 1 Tanners

After a long week in Bratislava, I woke to a bright crisp morning and the prospect of a wonderful day's football.  A Full English was washed down with a sturdy cup of tea and the preparation for the day was complete.

After watching the first 60 minutes of Southampton v Chelsea I skipped to the car; Southampton had a commanding 2-0 lead and nothing could spoil my day.  Fifteen sodding minutes later and the crappy footballing gods had turned.

So I turned up at the Moat-crappy-side in less than a good mood, knowing full bloody well Merstham would raise their game against their local rivals.  Leatherhead's first half did little to lift it, with Derry forced out right and Gallagher playing admirably in the back four our midfield was second best and so Merstham had the better of the game.  They got their goal, on the stoke of half-time, as I sat down to a cup of tea so I missed it.

Leatherhead made two changes and that improved things but without the running of Nana I doubt we would have got anything out of the game.

Pressure was building constantly until we got our goal.  A low ball into the area was struck and it ricocheted through the defence and beat their time-wasting 'keeper.

We pressed for the winner and in the last minute it looked like we would get it.  A powerful shot was spilled by the 'keeper and Midson ran to collect but only had time and space to back heel it into a seemingly open goal.  A defender slid in from nowhere and it stuck his arm at close range.  The fans instinctively shouted for a penalty but it did not pass the "would you be gutted to concede one like that" acid test.

The Shakespeare plot continues as we make the long journey to Brightlingsea Regent on Monday...