Ks 0 - 4 Tanners

All the goals Leatherhead could have scored over the last few games, to give our play-off chances real hope, were piled onto Ks to ensure at least one Surrey based club feels worse than us going into the closed season.

No one could have predicted that so many goals would be scored from the first half, such was the lack of quality from both sides.  This was the very worst of all end-of and pre season games I have seen for a long while, with neither team looking likely to try let alone try to score.

Half time and a few changes later, we were a different side and soon gave Ks a good thrashing.  First it was Travis, a player that was unlucky not to receive either of the fans' awards, as he cut inside and placed a curling shot past the 'keeper.

Dan Gallagher must have heard such mutterings of the unlucky Travis and calmly side footed a cross into the same corner.  He soaked up the adulation, this time without tripping over anything.

It has to be said, their 'keeper took some painkillers in the first half so was perhaps not as mobile as he could be but there was little he could do about the third.  A ball that was cleverly lobbed to the far post was headed into the roof of the net by Olutade to prove he is still a Tanner...

The fourth goal was the icing on the cake.  Travis sent in a free kick that Shaun leapt for but failed to get his head on it, with the 'keeper assuming there would be contact was deceived by the dummy and in it went.  Shaun tried to claim it, briefly, but the goal was Travis'.

The players and management tea, were given a hearty send off.  See you next season.  We hope.

Travelling Tanners

For the last time this season, Leatherhead hit the road and take on Kingstonian.

If Nikki is still having wayward-player issues, I hope he at least sets out the team in a reasonable manner.  Notably, a striker upfront and our best midfielders in midfield.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there.

Dorking revisited

A football coach I know visited The Grove Saturday and sent me his appraisal of the game, which I post now...

Enjoyed the game Monday, Dorking just showed their experience.

I would have played Travis up front.  Danny G worked hard but was no goal threat and played well in midfield against Lewes.

You should have been ahead before they scored. The first corner and a bit later when Jerry turned the ball in from the right would both have been almost tap ins had there been a more experienced cam playing but everyone had joined the charge of the light brigade towards the goal line. The 3 quality free kicks from the right showed you had no centre forward.  Everyone made runs perpendicular to the flight and moved late.

Their first goal was predictable the moment no.9 flicked it and then had the nouse to stay put. Quality strike though.  Second goal we predicted the moment your no.7 didn't react to a ball in towards the middle edge of your box. Allowed the Dorking player through in an overload. 2 passes goal, just because no.7 was 4ft to far to his right.  Third goal the left back was really poor. Needed to be much stronger and a bit more canny.  He knew who had isolated him and needed to get underneath him sharpish. Also too much time given to crosser.

Overall though we were very impressed. The team set up worked, the players competed really well, pressed as team and had some great moments, they just didn't gift you the crucial openings you gave them.  A far better display than Worthing put up against Dorking.  You need to keep the players you've got and ad a proper striker.

Impressed with your youngsters who all listened to and carried out the coach's instruction except your left back who moaned all the time and didn't listen much.

We really enjoyed it though.

Tanners 0 - 3 Dorking Wanderers

On arrival at the ground I witnessed a throng of Dorking fans behind the goal, looking stunning in bright crisp red and white stripes; the sharpness of colour you can expect with merchandise so recently taken out of its cellophane packaging.

On the pitch Nikki Bull had something more serious to contemplate; how to deal with such a big game and manage his squad.  A post match interview would indicate that a couple of our strikers have announced they are too good for Leatherhead and want to play elsewhere next season. 

It is a pity they did not back these thoughts of grandeur up with a few more bloody goals in recent games, as then we would be looking at a play-off place.  Their punishment for this petulance was to sit on the bench and enjoy the sun.  This meant Dan Gallagher was pushed up-front to make a nuisance of himself against a rather robust defence.

Leatherhead did try and compete.  Dan did indeed make a nuisance of himself, playing like a long-haired Naill Quinn by mixing it up, winning the ball and moving the ball onto attacking players around him.  Sadly none of them were Kevin Phillips.

Dorking were ruthless and showed why they won the league.  From a soft free kick in their own half, they swept the ball forward and with their first shot made it 0-1.

At half time we sat next to some Dorking fans speculating about all of the new grounds they probably wouldn't go to.

Second half and nothing much changed, except we threatened less and they score more.  Two more ruthless finishes were more than enough to make a bad day for Nikki even worse and comprehensively ceil the win.

It was my full intention to clap our team off of the pitch, but in the distance I saw a Dorking fan admire my son's homemade flag and after some deliberation he managed to "accidently" place it in his bag.  So when I should have been thanking my team for a season hard fought I was in fact sprinting around The Grove to retrieve my property.  I did make it back in time to present The Lip's Player of the Season Award to Dan Gallagher... if only I prepared a speech... and had a hair cut... or shaved... oh well, there is always next season.

Dorking Wanderers are coming...

After the disappointing result at Brightlingsea, it would appear time has been called on our season.  Whether it is kidology, before today's game, or a realistic view that four sides are unlikely to cock it up in the last two games.

That just leaves us with the last two games.  Two games that would be the first to look for when the fixture list comes out and the first of which is Dorking.  Dorking Wanderers have won the league in style this year; most goals scores, biggest goal difference and now have the highest gif per tweet ratio in the league.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there.

Travelling Tanners

The prospect of facing two more cup finals proved too much for Man City, yet somehow the Tanners have to dig deep and play I three.

The first is away to Brighlingsea Regent, a side that made many changes last time we faced them which allowed us to score nine goals; with a Jerry hat trick thrown in for good measure.  I doubt they will be that charitable again.  I certainly hope the game is more open than many of their pubs that night though.

We know what we need to do.  Worthing's draw last night puts them two points ahead and one less game to play... blimey.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  Good luck fellas.

Tanners 1 - 1 Lewes

The unavailability of Mo Salah cost us today as he would have got 4 goals and we would have won 5-1.

This felt like a missed opportunity with Merstham and Worthing both losing, but with 3 games to go we still have a great chance to get into the play-offs.

Lewes started the livelier and went into the lead on 10 minutes. That was the first goal we had conceded in 5 matches. The last goal being a flukey last minute winner from Merstham on March 2nd  ( P.S. Why do people put an R in Merstham to pronounce it MerstRam? Annoying).

Jerry responded with a karate kick goal just 5 minutes later to calm the nerves and we had chances before the break to go ahead, particularly when Ibrahim was thorough on goal but it was parried away.

Half chances went begging in the 2nd half but the draw was no injustice. 

Brightlingsea have nothing to play for on Saturday except the love of the game.  Dorking have nothing to play for on Easter Monday but they didn't realise that today as they won anyway. 

Lewes are coming

Ninth placed Lewes, kings of the football poster, come to The Grove probably thinking a win would put them only one point behind us and still in the chase.

We still found ourselves just one point away.  Still an unthinkable situation given most of us handed in our season tickets on at least three occasions this season.

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas.

Tanners 1 - 0 Tonbridge

After some hasty re-branding, Leatherhead now play Away and Away from Away in order to secure a play-off place and it has already started to pay off.

Many leaving the ground commented on what a cracking game it was, but I can't help feel that is because we one.   Our Klopp of the Mole set our side out to frustrate our visitors while looking to counter with our pace.  The first half only really picked up in the last 10 minutes while the second half did at least see us play some entertaining football at times.

The goal was made and finished by our man in the mirror.  Dan Gallagher won the ball in midfield before lumping it forward and followed in up with a run into the box.  After a small mix up between our two forwards they sorted themselves out enough to pick up the run of Dan and he blasted it under the 'keeper.

Wild celebrations followed and not even the news that our neighbours had bought... I mean won the league could dampen our spirits.  Another big game Saturday then...

Tonbridge Angels are coming...

I had a cracking April's Fool joke, that in order to make The Grove feel like playing away we were going to move the Bernard Edwards' Stand to the other end of the ground.  A cracking joke, except our home form, when compared to our away form, is far from a laughing matter.

Tonbridge Angels come to The Grove, sitting in third place and will no doubt be after second spot to potentially make the play-offs slightly easier.  Although, by coming third they may get to avoid us... playing away!

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there.