Leatherhead 0 - 1 Felixstowe & Walton

One, twice, three times a lady.  Chertsey, Redhill and now Felixstow & Walton; all lower placed opposition and all have dispatched us from a cup competition this season.

The game started well for Leatherhead.  Our hosts were either tired from the journey or giving us too much respect as we piled on pressure but lacked the finishing touch.

The Lip! won't hear of a bad word said about Jerry, as yet again he gave his all for 87 minutes but when will this "up-front" experiment end?  I hear in interviews he worries defences but the only thing that hasn't been too troubled since we started playing him there is the back of the net.  Notably, midway through the first half with the ball hanging tantalisingly on the line, he headed over from point blank range.

With the first half seemingly going our way, I also found it strange Nikki would feel impassioned enough to engage with an official in a manner to get himself sent off.  He watched from the sidelines in the first half and from the bar in the second.

Out for the second half and Felixstow shook off their stage fright and worked us out.  Stop Charlie Hester-Cook from receiving the ball and put two men on Jerry from goal kicks.  Simple.

The game was still a bit of a stalemate until they appeared to get a slice of luck.  A deflected cross sailed up into the air and over Zaki like a ponytailless David Seamon.

On came Great Evans to play upfront with Jerry which did not really change the attacking dynamic and we petered out to another cup exit.

That is that then and until we hear otherwise it could well be all we see from Leatherhead this season...

Felixstow & Walton are coming!

Football returns to the Grove next Tuesday in the shape of the FA Trophy.  I haven't been a big fan of this competition over the years but if I have learned anything over the past few weeks, Leatherhead needs supporters to turn up!

Working in compliance I thought interpreting Government guidance would be easy, but it hasn't been.  The size of scotch egg needed to serve alcohol is one thing but at one point it looked unlikely the club could even offer a cup of tea... not ideal as Tuesday will no doubt be a double-socker.

Tickets are available via the new ticketing system.  Kick off at 7.45.  See you there!

Tanners 2 - 3 Redhill

Leatherhead crash out to a Redhill side placed near the foot of the table, two divisions below them on the last night of football we will see for a while.

While Redhill have been conceding goals in their league, they can score them too with 16 already this season.  Their goal scoring touch did not desert them last night as they pounced on a low cross into the box and fired a powerful shot into the bottom right and corner.

Jerry should be awarded Freedom of the Town and nothing he can do can convince me otherwise.  Playing upfront again, he showed footwork no centre back should possess when surrounded by three defenders. 

He also won a penalty, with a ball mid flight a defender cynically tripped him hoping the ref would miss the off the ball incident.  He didn't and it was promptly awarded for Great Evans to score confidently.

Into the second half and just when I felt (and ruddy tweeted) the game was heading to penalties it sprang into life.

First of all Redhill pounced - I forget the details - only for Leatherhead to get another penalty.  Hester-Cook darted into the box and was clearly tripped.  The ref took an absolute age after seemingly performing a no foul hand gesture but made the right decision and awarded it.  Great Evans, again, made no mistake.

Not soon after Redhill won a freekick on the edge of the box and sent in a beautiful cross which was met by an unmarked player, giving our deputy 'keeper no chance.

I write these reports pretending I know something about football tactics but it should be abundantly clear I do not.  I can only assume, then, the decision to throw another central defender up front with Jerry was an attempt to confuse Redhill into which direction they were playing and lure them into scoring an own goal as his presence created nothing of merit.

If it is any consolation, this is a cup that is unlikely to be concluded this season but Redhill cared not when the whistle blew.  They wildly celebrated a well deserved win as we trudged off dreaming of what could have been last year.

That's all folks until further notice...

Redhill are coming

There can be no excuses to miss this one.  The visit of Redhill sees us play in the last game for the foreseeable future in a competition we could (and last year perhaps should have) win.

Redhill ply their trade in the Combined Counties League Premier Division and sit in 18th place with a goal difference of -13... 

Kick off at 7.45.  See you there!

Tanners 3 - 1 Potters Bar

2020/21 may prove to be first season in which we remain unbeaten in the FA Trophy. Even in 1978 we lost in the final.

Despite any confidentiality clauses that may have been signed, it soon became clear that Jerry was going to be playing up front again. Chloe confirmed that we would always rather play him at the back but that we had no other options at the moment. Chloe probably wasn't aware that Peter Crouch was available and had been spotted in the town that very afternoon.

Potters Bar never really got going and seemed as disinterested in the FA Trophy as some of our less resilient supporters who would rather brave the winds and go for a blow on Worthing pier.

Joe Leslie is proving to be our Olivier Award winner this season and completed a fine hat trick. Let's hope that Woking don't find out how well he is playing, although they will be allowed to play when we won't so I guess it won't matter.

There is no apparent reason why we can't play Redhill in the Surrey Senior Cup on Tuesday but that could be it until December 5th at least. Our non-elite status, which has benefited us so far by allowing us to attend games, is likely to prevent us from playing.

Potters Bar are coming

Tomorrow sees the arrival of Potters Bar in the FA Trophy, on what is forecast to be a blustery day all round.

I am not a big fan of this competition, but I appreciate that with an early FA Cup exit such competitions allow us to potentially build up some much needed income.

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas.

Corithinian-Casuals 0 - 0 Tanners

The highlight of the day, for me, was the Toby Carvery I sat down to before the game.  A plate, piled so high with meaty finery, I didn't know whether to eat it or climb it.

As the game began, I started to take stock of the situation.  A bogey ground and difficult conditions did not, in itself, make for a great game for Leatherhead.  Then it became apparent Jerry was playing upfront.  This was either an act of desperation or it was Jerry's birthday.  A penny for Great Evans's thoughts though...

The advanced Jerry did cause some problems and nearly set up a goal in the opening minutes.  Overall though, it was a fairly tame and evenly balanced game.

In the second half, the home side came closest to scoring.  A desperate goalline clearance prevented a certain goal but fell to a Casuals player who fired it back in to force Zak into a fine save.

While we did warm the glove of the 'keeper once, we did very little to really threaten the goal.  In the dying minutes Joe Leslie, who has been a joy to watch over the last few games, infuriated the travelling support by blasting over with two wild left foot shots from distance.

0-0 it ended in front of a 600 crowd (where did all these Corinthian-Casuals supporters come from!?) and now we prepare for the complete waste of time that is the FA Trophy.

Brightlingsea 3 - 0 Tanners

Tanners fell foul to new-manager syndrome last night, losing 3-0 to Brighlingsea and almost doubled their point tally in doing so.

The damage was done in the first half and Leatherhead trudged into the dressing room 3-0 and feeling every yard of the 200 mile round trip.

The game is closer to home on Saturday with a trip to the bogey ground that is Corinthian-Casuals...

Tanners 2 - 0 Folkestone

Leatherhead took all three points against a much-fancied team despite the sudden absence of two players due to COVID.

It could not have started any better.  A long ball from the back from Zak was touched into the path of Crossley who took the ball into stride and hit a low powerful shot into the bottom right after just 14 seconds.  

He could have doubled the lead a few minutes later but opted to side foot the ball rather than a header, which may have been easier to direct on goal.

Leatherhead defender really well.  While Folkestone got more into the game after 20 minutes, we always looked comfortable throughout the first half.

It was a rather miserable day for Sammy Moore.  He did pull off a handful of stunning passes, that we remember well, but other than that his contributions were mainly falling over, telling other people what to do and watching helplessly while Andrew Briggs bent a freekick over his head and into the goal. 

Folkestone did have a brief spell of pressure.  The brunt of this pressure was felt by Will Seager's face as he put his body on the line to prevent a near certain goal at point blank range.

An impressive display, but impressive enough to tempt me to make the trip to Brightlingsea?  We will see...

Folkestone are coming

A rare mid-week off from football, but time to focus on the game and the visitors tomorrow.

Football is a fickle beast.  Lead Leatherhead to the Second Round of the FA Cup and the final of the Surrey Senior, you'd expect to get a hero's welcome.  Leave suddenly, with broken 5-year-plan promises, having made agreements before said final and you can kiss that welcome goodbye...

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Enfield Town 1 - 0 Tanners

Having shipped 9 goals in their last two games, Enfields set up proved to be solid and difficult for us to break down, with the exception of a Will Salmon header in the first half I cannot remember another close effort. 

Enfield, on the other hand, have a potent striker at their disposal in the form of Bricknell.  He was good enough to be on Billericay's high-flying payroll and he is good enough now.  He took his chance and it was enough to grab all three points.

No mid-week game to look forward but we welcome back the dodgy knees and five year plan of Sammy Moore when he returns to the Grove with Folkestone on Saturday...

Travelling Tanners

Today Leatherhead travel to Enfield town for this league cup fixture. It is ticket in advance and the last time I looked they were only 20 tickets so make sure you buy before you travel.

Leatherhead are playing not just with an elephant in the room, it is more than that. The elephant is the room.  Hopefully they will focus on the game today.

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas.

Tanners 4 - 3 Worthing

Up until tonight, there were students on campus that were having more shots than Leatherhead so it was inconceivable that we could go on and score four goals... but somehow we did in an absolute thriller.

Leatherhead, again, looked bright in their passing game.  While there is always a danger this peters out but Dan Rowe collected the ball in the box and cleverly found the bottom right corner.

Worthing struck back with a spectacular freekick awarded by a ref who would go on to award any flop or yelp coming from the south coast side; and there were plenty of those.

1-1 at half time and Worthing came out with a real purpose.  It looked inevitable that a rout would soon follow until Joe Leslie pulled off a small piece of magic.  A lofted ball sent him chasing and as it arrived, perfectly, to him on the edge of the box there was already a lot to do.  

Under pressure and with the angle on the goal not getting any wider he brought it down and quickly sent it into the bottom right. He has looked like our most threatening player over the last two games so fitting he would finally get his reward.

The game then appeared to swing firmly in the favour of the visitors.  First there was a free header to make it 202.  The 'keeper sensed the game had swung and made a point of directing his celebration to the home fans.  Mistake.

Soon it was 2-3 with a penalty.  It looked to me like our defender was initially fouled.  As he stumbled to regain his footing the Worthing player turned into him and took a flop.  Zak guessed the right way but it was too high and powerful.

At 3-2 I decided the game was far enough beyond our reach that I chose the moment to inform my friends of a new free source of firewood that would see me through winter.  An anecdote so dull it lulled the defence into a coma and we mounted our counter-attack.

First of all Stefan Brown swivelled and fired past the 'keeper before a dramatic attack saw the ball strike the post only for it to fall to the head of Crossley Lema's head who sent it into the back of the net.

Wild celebrations and prolonged scenes of appreciation to a side that has really started to play smart attacking football.  A change of this formation, with returning players, could really be a Great mistake...

Tanners 0 - 0 Margate

It is amazing how opinions on football differ.  Listening to interviews, people indicated the second half was more enjoyable but I found something beautiful in the first.

We were playing ball to feet in intricate play rather than hoof-and-hope football we have seen recently.  It was like watching a team of pond skaters as they glided and skipped around the stubborn Margate defense.

It's true; we only asked basic questions such as what is the capital of France? and what is the square root of 16?  and not challenging ones such as What are the Articles of Association of a company used for?  Answers to the latter, you just can't make up and wing...

Second half we did come out more but so did Margate when they were through one on one but their shot went well wide.

Something to build on and take into tonight's game when our old friends come up the A24; Worthing are our visitors and it is a 7.45 kick off.

Margate are coming...

Off the pitch, the "whodunit mystery" appears to be turning into a who-didn't one as Twitter is ablaze with rumour and counter rumour.  Meanwhile my CV lies on a boardroom floor; shredded into a thousand pieces...

In other news, Margate come to the Grove if the weather allows.  Today's storm and tonight's rain may have the last word on the game.

Keep an eye out for updates and juicy gossip!

Haringey 0 - 1 Tanners

Match report via Jeremy Smith

Well in the absence of our media crew and our board a hastily set up committee was formed in the Tanners Tour Bus to take advantage of going to one of the best grounds in the Isthmian League, Haringey Borough.

 

Early auspices were not great with a player missing, though Nikki was looking particularly dapper and while Haringey took to the field looking like gladiators awaiting the arrival of a lambs to be slaughtered, the Leatherhead players crept out of the dressing room like naughty schoolboys clutching their bottoms.

 

However, this was a different Leatherhead team from Saturday, Stefan Brown was back at no. 9 and so was Crossley Lema. Jack Currie is now with us till January and we looked solid at the back for the first time this season.  The first half was reminiscent of the Horsham match and we should have been three ahead with a great looping drive from Dan Rowe in the opening minutes and several other shots. Will Seager was imperious in defense (I bet Bryan is looking that word up in the dictionary this morning) and Will Salmon came forward to great advantage, though had to run back pretty quickly as well. Haringey too looked dangerous on the break and if they hadn't gone for a conversion rather than a goal from about 12 yards out, we would have been one down.  They also had what was agreed to be one of the worst shots in the history of the modern game, a low rasping drive heading for the corner flag.

 

Half time came with honours about even.  I felt that at the time, I would have happily walked away with a draw, but after going round the one way system to buy a hot dog from the empty tea bar (***** with lots of onions), I went to try and find our illustrious match day secretary in the stand. I had just sat down on the middle of about 50 raucous Haringey fans when Dan Rowe scored a wonder goal.  My celebrations were muted but the Haringey guys behind me did ask if we were the same team that got slaughtered 7:0 on Saturday as they thought we were rather good. Though, those may not have been their exact words.

 

I had to leave the stand after another 20 minutes of "Tom Loizou's Blue and Yellow Army" to join the committee behind the goal in time to witness Zaki making yet another fantastic save.  It was also the first time in living memory that he never kicked the ball so hard it went for a goal kick at the other end.  We should have scored at least three more, Stefan had one disallowed for offside, Dan Rowe just missed a cross goal pass and Ryan Huckle should have scored with a header (his dad and brother is going to have words with him on that!).

 

And then came then the end-game, Misha )whose shorts seem to get longer every week), Dan Hector and Jerry came on and we started to get deeper and deeper but held out to the end. We did seem to still be passing the ball out to Great Evans who wasn't there (hope he's OK!!). I would have thought that keeping possession when 1:0 up with ten minutes left would seem to be quite a sensible game plan which we should practice more rather than kicking the ball out to the centre spot where there was no-one there.  Possibly slightly better than keeping giving away corners which luckily Haringey (unlike Horsham) where pretty shit at.

 

Anyway, a fantastic win, all Counsellors appointments cancelled, Valium thrown down the loo and Bowers and Pitsea is forgotten.  The League is ours together with the Velocity Cup, the FA Trophy, the Surrey Senior Cup and the Mrs Joyful Prize for Rafia Work.

 

Man of the match – could be Will Seager cos' his Dad bought me a pint but in reality it was Dan Rowe. Him and Stefan Brown really play well together.  Joe Leslie also put in a stint but like Travis last season, he needs to lay off the ball before going past the umpteenth defender.  Cracking free-kick though.

 

All in all a great game but it made me a little sad seeing the enthusiasm and friendliness of the Haringey fans, the number of volunteers and the wonderful community set-up.  This is what non-league football should be about.

Bowers & Pitsea 7 - 0 Tanners

I reflected Saturday night on the two games of football I had seen that day.  First up was my son's Under 17 team.  They had depleted numbers with only 12 turning up but Peter pulled up injured in the warm up, so they had no subs.  Their defensive midfielder then went off injured after 15 minutes, so they played one of the strongest sides with only 10 players.  They also had to contend with an incompetent referee's assistant (me), unable to keep up with play.  This team managed to keep the score to six and battled on to grab a goal themselves. 

Their manager, someone who attended this game also, told them that they should be proud of their hard work and fighting spirit; neither of which could be applied to Leatherhead .  It is hard to find players to praise.  Perhaps with a clever use of punctuation I could say Charlie, Hester & Cook to convince myself we had three worthy of praise... other than that I am struggling.

Toothless upfront we never looked like scoring apart from striking the bar from a well struck Charlie shot.  This gave Bowers & Pitsea free range to attack.  They opened the scoring with a freekick before a mix up gifted them the second.

The first half was a disaster, but we had the gale at our backs.  Now we faced an up-wind battle to get anything from the game and failed miserably as four goals - of which became such a blur I cannot begin to describe them - in twelve minutes.  I stayed on out of morbid curiosity to see how big the score could become but did leave early enough to be spared their seventh.

Haringey will be licking their lips for tonight's game, as we travel to North London... kick off at 7.45.

Travelling Tanners

Off to Basildon way for today's league fixture, after the bitter disappointment of the cup mid-week.

This was the game where we first saw Sherringham, a striker that strutted around like he had a famous dad but little desire.

Kick off at 3pm. See you there.

Tanners 0 - 0 Cheatsey (Leatherhead lose 4-5 on penalties)

With the ref's whistle still ringing in their ears, from having three players sent off on Saturday, Chertsey set their stall out to get in the faces of Leatherhead and get on top of the referee.  It worked, beautifully.  

Their bench stood on the touchline, ready to leap out and complain while their players surrounded the ref and pushed and shoved to get a reaction.  The writing was on the wall as early as the fourth minute when Charlie Hester-Cook got involved with a committed tackle (but nothing out of the ordinary) and up they all went and got him a yellow card (how he managed to stay on the pitch is beyond me).

The ref won't be on our Christmas card list as he went on to not give three potential penalties.  First Charlie was brought down and while the ball did move it was from a touch from the falling Leatherhead player as the defender got nowhere near it. Then the 'keeper dropped a ball, went to kick it, missed and cleared out a Leatherhead player with a high boot.  Finally, Jerry was clattered into as he waited for a header by a player making no attempt to win the ball.  There was even talk of a handball to make it four.

Then the moment that really changed the game.  A long ball and the chasing Evans was offside but either didn't hear the whistle or didn't care and carried on.  The 'keeper, oh so innocent despite being sent off on Saturday, came out and they met with a bang.  Both with legs raised but the lino only saw one guilty party and Great Evans joins the ranks of Joe Sheerin, Sammy Moore and Dave Stevens for being sent off for violent conduct in a FA competition.

Leatherhead, with ten men, went onto work; hard.  Chertsey had one or two chances but had no real answer to the defensive problem Leatherhead had set.

Leatherhead were further incensed when he awarded Chertsey a penalty in the last few minutes.  The ball clearly struck the raised arm of a Leatherhead defender but he didn't give it.  After three or four seconds, our old mate the lino stepped in and gave it.  Their number five, who may as well have taken the whistle off of the ref, stepped up and smashed it into the bar.  Justice was, temporarily, served.

Under the new format, there is no replay nor - thankfully - extra time.  Just straight to penalties.  Supporting Leatherhead is much like supporting England.  The hope and endeavour, only to bravely lose and I was reminded of England v Argentina as we stepped up to take our penalties.

All of Chertsey's penalties were confident and gave Zak no chance.  Our first two were unconvincing but did the job.  Our third looked dodgy from the start; I never like a player that takes an extra hop, skip or jump and that's what he did before sending it into orbit.  

Our fourth was well taken and then Zak stood up to take one.  Those who travelled to Charshalton were already heading for the door but he probably took our best penalty, powerfully sending it to the side netting.  Credit then to the Number 5 who, having missed one, must have felt the pressure but powered his penalty into the top corner.

Out of the FA Cup we crash and no lick our wounds for the trip to Bowers & Pitsea on Saturday...

Travelling Tanners

Tonight we travel to Chertsey for this banana peel of a game.  Our hosts know all about FA competitions; winning the FA Vase in 2019, beating our old friends Cray Valley PM in the final.

While it is always disappointing conceding a relatively late equaliser, a 1-1 draw against Horsham isn't to be sniffed at.  Apply the same intensity and we should be fine...

Directions can be found on your printed ticket (not on pink paper please!).  Kick off at 7.45.  See you there!

Tanners 1 - 1 Horsham

The league's biggest crowd turned up to watch the A24 Derby and they were in for a treat, as the two sides gave it their all.

Horsham like to build their play from the back, so Leatherhead pressed them hard from the start and got their reward.  I missed the opening goal as I turned to stand on the correctly coded step, but looked back in time to see their 'keeper flailing in the air as the ball powerfully shot into the side netting.  What a strike from Misha (so I'm told).

With pressing so high Leatherhead were always going to be subject to a ball over the top but other than a couple of chances, Leatherhead dominated and really should have built on their lead.  They didn't though and so into the second half with the usual sense of inevitability.

Sure enough, Horsham came out a different side and for the first 15 minutes I have no idea how we held on.  We did though and went on to turn the tables and pile the pressure back on Horsham.  Then we needlessly lost possession from a throw in and the game shifted back with Horsham getting their equaliser from a set piece.

Great Evans struck the bar and in the last minute was pulled down in the box but the ref, far too high in the FA to be bothered with decisions like that, waved it away with confidence bordering arrogance.

A repeat of the opening game last season then and all eyes now focus on the FA Cup on Tuesday...

Horsham are coming

Opening game of last season we were treated to a new ground and a one all draw with our newly promoted local rivals.  This season sees us return the favour, hosting our old friends at the Grove.

Attending football is a privilege. A privilege I can't see us enjoying beyond October, so make sure you get to The Grove and enjoy it.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

It is Chertsey Away

Leatherhead face Chertsey away in the FA Cup in a banana skin of a game.  Game to be played on 22 September.

Oh, and while you are there.  The Ramsgate friendly has been cancelled as our visitors have suffered a string of injuries. 

Tanners 0 - 1 Beaconsfield

Not a Great day all round... I woke to find my garage had been stripped on two of my bikes, my son's football team were soundly beaten in their first league game and Leatherhead had a home friendly.

10 minutes into a good contest Tanners break through only to be felled by a defender.  Penalty and red card surely.  No, the ref bottles it. Unbelievable.  Then on 25 mins Tanners were one down.  A well-worked move on the left finished and off at the far post. Bit against the run but the ref was Beaconsfields 12th man at this point.

In the dying minutes of the first half Leatherhead finally got a penalty and up stepped Great Evans to equaliser.  His attempt was a far cry from the instinctive finishing we had seen at Whyteleafe.

The Lip often shys away from singling out players but Great did not go on to have a good game.  He seemed to lack power and any desire to impose himself on the game.  Much depends on him to drive our season forward, so I hope for a return to form soon.

Strangely we have a fixture just a few days before the start of the season, a visit from Ramsgate on Tuesday...

Whyteleafe 3 - 4 Tanners

Back to the 'Leafe and what a thoroughly enjoyable experience it was.  On arrival we signed in at a table manned by two non-uniformed volunteers.  A quick squirt of hand sanitizer and into the ground where we took responsibility for our actions without the need for marshals, just a couple of volunteers standing by the main gate.  No hi-viz.  No radios.  No body cameras.  Super.  Smashing.  Great.  Unbelievably, I could also walk in and out of the ground with gay abandon (although, their tea bar etc. is beyond the turnstyle to be fair).

On the pitch, it turned out to be one of the best friendlies I have seen Leatherhead play in.  Both sides were committed to winning and refused to give an inch as the tackles and goals flew in.

Leatherhead did not get off to a good start, perhaps failing to adjust to the artificial surface, and went 0-1 to a penalty.  Great Evans, who had just missed a clear header, instinctively spun and struck a ball into the box to make it 1-1.

Not soon after we were down again.  Whyteleafe were given too much space inside the box and a low strike across goal made it 2-1.  Rumours now started circulating that Whyteleafe had a wonder-kid that was being looked at by Man City and West Ham... that explained it... but then it turned out he was already on trial and we were, in fact, losing to the robust combative Whyteleafe I remember well.

Stefan Brown hit a powerful shot into the roof of the net to make it 2-2 and into half time.  The half time interval was a very polite affair.  

Normally players have loud "bants" and practice aimlessly blasting the ball into spectators behind the goal.  Not tonight.  They quietly passed the ball around and when they did practice shooting, Andrew Briggs stood out as he purposefully bent freekicks passed the reserve 'keeper.

The second half saw Leatherhead race to a 4-2 lead.  Great Evans showed his instinct for goal agan with a powerful shot, seemingly coming from nowhere, into the bottom right.  Then Ryan Huckle latched onto a cross with a powerful header to make it 4-2.

Satisfied with the decision to make the trip, I left early and missed Whyteleafe's third goal.  We are scoring, which is a plus, but conceding three may be a concern for Nikki as will missing two one-on-one chances which you would hope would be slotted away.

Beaconsfield on Saturday at The Grove then...

Travelling Tanners

I don't think I have been to Whyteleafe for 17 odd years, but there is a chance to reacquaint myself with the ground when we face them in a friendly tonight.

Five goals against Staines was very encouraging.  Let's hope that continues against a side who have already won a competitive game in the FA Cup, beating Glebe 3-1 away.

Kick off at 7.45.  Directions can be found here.

Tanners 5 - 0 Staines

On the form he was in, if Leatherhead had played Percy upfront he would have no doubt scored a hattrick.  While pleas for help to clear the car park went out, one man single handedly sorted it all out.  As it happens, Great took his spot and responded accordingly.

Leatherhead have been a bit goal shy over the last couple of games and today proved to be a chance for people to find their scoring boots.  Hester-Cook being the first to take his opportunity with a trademark run into the box and a cool low finish via the near post.

Great Evans showed he could be the ideal poacher for his next two goals.  A Will Salmon header had lobbed the 'keeper and the ball was undoubtedly heading over the line but Great made sure.  Hester-Cook then stung the hands of the 'keeper and Great was at hand to follow-up the rebound.

Into the second half and the goal of the day.  A free kick on the edge of the box was powered into the top right corner by Andrew Briggs.  4-0 and with the game over you would expect it to peter out but a moment of madness from madness conceded a 89th minute penalty (with a red card thrown into the bargain), which allowed Great to step up and earn his hattrick.

Whyteleafe away on Tuesday...

Staines are coming

Staines come to the Grove today for this latest friendly.  They ply their trade in the step below but will no doubt give us a good work out.

Help is needed at The Grove.  Some unexpected guests have left a bit of a mess in the car park and hands are needed to get ready for the game. If you have time, get to the Grove from 9am.

Kick off at 3pm. Free for season ticket holders; £5 without.

Farnborough 0 - 0 Leatherhead

I wasn't at the game but by all accounts but Leatherhead did everything but score.

We partook in some goalmouth scrambles and forced a couple of fine saves but the goal failed to materialise.  The lack of goals may be a slight concern but we kept a clean sheet against a similarly placed side.

Next up, Staines on Saturday at The Grove...

Travelling Tanners

Leatherhead continue their pre-season development with a trip to Farnborough.  A club I feared for when we last played, due to enforced relegation looming over them.  Good to see them bounce back as I very much enjoyed my trip to their ground when we met in the league.  Winning 3-1 helped.

Farnborough have published their ground COVID guidelines, so you can read up in advance of going.  It is £10 to get in, although under 16s are free.

Kick off at 7.45.  Directions can be found here.

Tanners 0 - 2 Dorking Wanderers

Leatherhead failed, again, to beat our new local rivals in a game that was over almost as soon as it started.  There was so much to look forward to at the start of the game and you had to marvel at the level of organisation in order to get the game on.  The club has had to re-shuffle its deck of friendlies in order maximum the benefit in light of everchanging government guidelines.  We are going to be stuck with COVID for the foreseeable future, so we may as well find a way to make it happen was my view, well, at least going into the game...

Dorking, on familiar territory having used - allegedly - Fetcham Gove to train on grass prior to the play-offs, got off to a flying start and were absolutely ruthless.  While Jerry showed some fight by levelling a Dorking player who refused to let go of his shirt in the opening minute, it signified the only resistance while they stormed down their right wing to set up the opener on three minutes.  Just two minutes later, a striker was allowed two meters of space and fired home the second.  

A bit selfish of Dorking really as now the game was over, they simply were a class above.  There was little we could do to put them under pressure and just when I thought we might make it interesting my son popped his head up from behind the fence and into the perfect storm.

Tensions were building behind the goal due to the stewarding which two supporters (who I would typically describe as jovial and the thoroughly amenable) felt was too intrusive.  Just then my son pops his head up from behind the fence, informing me that he was denied access to the ground after heading out the back to fetch a ball that had been fired over in the half-time warm-up.  This will be easily sorted, I thought.  

The steward saw me arrive with my son (as I stupidly printed my tickets on pink paper, thus confusing the system) and this simple misunderstanding would be ironed out.  No steward would leave a 15 year old boy outside the ground with his father inside the ground having explained the situation, would they?  Apparently so.

Luckily Gerald was at hand and explained that I was indeed his father and he should be allowed back in.  I was rather placated at this point, until I attempted to leave the ground.  One of the stewards, who had originally denied him access, now blocked our path; accusing him of "illegally" reentering, so the boy who was denied reentry was now being denied to reexit.

I want football at the Grove to work.  I stood on a spot for 30 minutes, behind the Bernard Edwards' Stand, because I thought you had to.  I do however believe there is a balance to ensure fans feel both safe and welcome.  Having spoken to the club this morning I believe they will find a way to achieve this so we can see in the season in good spirits.

Oh, congratulations to Dorking for the convincing win.

We're back!

Football is back!  After 5 months of watching illegal streams of football from Belarus or deciding whether you want the crowd noise on or off, we return to The Grove for the clash with Dorking Wanderers.

It is all ticket and the box office closed last night at 10pm, so hopefully it is (nearly) a sell out.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Tanners 3 - 0 East Thurrock

Something must have gone wrong at East Thurrock, as they turned up with only one sub and a team that failed to compete for much of the game.  Just before kick-off East Thurrock got into a close morale boosting huddle and given the hysteria over the virus I was surprised they weren't all shown a red card for dangerous play.

Leatherhead put the visitors to bed after within the first 30 minutes.  First it was Ibz, allowed to play from his period of quarantine on the bench, struck with a confident shot under the 'keeper.

On 24 minutes, Robinson when all Ronaldinho and lobbed the 'keeper while pretending to cross...

Then on 30 minutes, a Leatherhead player was knocked to the ground while competing for a ball in the air.  Penalty awarded and  dispatched by Ikebuasi.

Into the second half and Leatherhead aimed to manage the game and attacking chances became more scarce.  East Thurrock did lift themselves but their No 7 decided the best way to compete was try and get our players sent off, which he did masterfully when Lema reacted to something and slapped him.

A pity as it took the edge off of a fine win... a win that makes the long trip to Potters Bar even more interesting....

East Thurrock are coming!

A big game today; a there or there abouts six-pointer.  We've worked hard to get this game on, that will be a very different challenge to the one presented on Tuesday.

I'm only going on the off chance there will be some toilet roll in the Tanners Bar.  Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Tanners 4 - 0 Potters Bar

Leatherhead run out comfortable winners and send their goal difference into positive numbers but, if Potters Bar could hit the target, the result could have been very different.

Leatherhead laboured for much of this game.  From the touch line, Nikki screamed for the team to liven up but Potters Bar were proving to be a very touch team to break down.

Potters Bar were carving out chances.  On 15 minutes they shot just wide and then on the half hour mark a cross found a player completely unmarked and Zak no where to be seen, but his shot went wide.

On the stoke of buying half time tea, we struck.  Brown was played in with no defence anywhere to be seen, it was like a penalty (only a couple of yards further out) and he made no mistake.  Bottom right, 1-0.

Second half and more of the same.  Potters Bar missed a couple of more sitters.  One was spectacular, in that the player skipped past Zak and had the goal at his mercy - albeit from a tightish angle - and sent his shot for a throw in.

The game became more comfortable when the 'keeper brought down Robinson and he stepped up to score the penalty.  Relief given the poor form we had from the spot at the start of the season.

Then the game changer.  Ibz and Robinson were finally unleashed together and we were unstoppable. 

First, a low strike from Robinson continued his scoring form.  Then, Hester-Cook was brought down in the box, but the referee had met his "only one penalty per side" unofficial quota so waved play on.  Robinson pounced first with a low strike that was saved and as the ball spun in the air Ibz used his strength to head it home.

Quite the game and we do it all again on Saturday with the arrival of East Thurrock...

Potters Bar Town are coming

Potters Bar Town come to the Grove after a few days of Jorge-less weather.  There is no need for a pitch inspection but a yellow double sock warning has been issued.

Nikki has issued his target for us to reach the play-offs and tonight must be one of those must-win games.  It is not a "banker", by any means, but you simply cannot hold hopes of reaching the promised land without winning a home game like this.

There will also be an opportunity for the club to pay their respects to Les Benjamin, who passed away last week.

Kick off at 7.45.  See you there!

Tanners 4 - 0 South Park

Leatherhead put out a strong side last night - in hindsight a cruelly strong side - in order not to repeat past slip ups in the FA and Surrey Senior Cup.

The damage was done very early on.  Sherringham opened his account with a deft header and followed it up with a low strike that the 'keeper failed to keep out.  Soon after, the moment of the game.  The ball was chested down into the path of Rowe, who was some 23-25 yards out, and he calmly lobbed the 'keeper using the outside of his right foot. A sublime finish that was worth the full entrance fee of £12 (a fee that must have turned a visiting supporters blue).

At 3-0, the aches and pains of the visiting 'keeper suddenly were amplified and he did not look comfortable at all.  The Leatherhead fans showed a great deal of concern and compassion to the 'keeper; well, they should have done.

Second half did not live up to the first but kudos to Oyenuga who made it 4-0 and comprehensively put us through to the semi-final.

South Park are coming

Surrey Senior Cup night tonight and so far it seems it is on.  I have no idea what to expect with some players, probably, who will not be able to play due to their parent clubs not allowing it...

I seem to recall South Park beat us in this competition a few years ago, so we need to be better than we were on Saturday.

Kick off at 7.45.  See you there.

Bowers & Pitsea 3 - 0 Tanners

Not even updating my spreadsheet for a new ground visited could lift my spirits following this dismal defeat.

Some people likened this performance to that of Corinthian-Casuals but it many ways it was far worse.  Worse because of the journey to and from the game and certainly worse because of the strike force we had our disposal.

Strangely two players that I would have thought would be nailed on to start were on the bench.  Ibz, a player who was scoring for fun before he left, and Robinson, a player who had appeared to have filled the gap when Ibz left, both sat there while the disaster unfolded.

It didn't take long.  On five minutes they scored from a seemingly harmless position.  As they did on the stroke of half time with another goal.  I can't describe these goals (nor indeed the third in the second half) as they caught me by surprise and I missed all of them.

Sherringham did make the starting line-up and just while we were deciding whether he looked like his father or not he nearly scored for us.  A classy chest down and side volley beat the 'keeper but went wide of the post.

Second half and with the winds at our backs we looked slightly more attacking.  Rowe tried a long range effort, that looked destined to be goal of the season until it struck the bar.

From then on we topped up our attacking options by adding Ibz, as a false 9, and throwing in Robinson but it did not make much difference.  We didn't look like scoring and our hosts cruised out for a comprehensive win.

Tuesday remains a mystery as it appears the game will be played providing at least one pitch is up to it.  If not ours, it will be switched to South Park's ground... 

Travelling Tanners

Bowers & Pitsea means the new ground klaxon sounds again!

Leatherhead travel into Essex with a boosted strike force. Sherringham adds Leatherhead to his growing list of clubs he has played for, while Ibz returns.

Hopefully we can avoid a trip to the losers' cafe today as Nikki Bull's search for a play-off place continues...

Game off

Surprise turned into optimism turned into farce as the game got called off at 2.10 today.

I arrived at the Grove at 1.30 to sit down with a fish and chip supper, with the expectation of seeing a game. I was chatting with an old friend when the rumour started, the ref had called the game off.

Leatherhead players were still out with the ball, while Horsham had headed inside.  The word being the goal mouths were not fit to play on.

Strange, as at that point the rain had been light since the inspection which had deemed it OK. Perhaps the ref had one eye on the forecast.

Disappointing but we were probably spared a diabolical game in the wind...

Horsham are coming!

I'm amazed. An early pitch inspection passes for the first time in living memory, but with Storm Denis looming large I hope it isn't a wasted effort.

Points were shared on the opening game of the season. I wasn't sure if it was a good point or points lost but as our fortunes took very different directions over the following eight games it looks an increasingly good one.

They have fallen away a bit, but it is going to be a tough one.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there.

Tanners 1 - 1 Ks

Four security staff greeted me on arrival at The Grove last night.  They were on amber alert - because someone had tweeted rude words about one of them - so had triggered their stop and search powers against anyone matching the description.  Time well spent.


Onto the game and Leatherhead opened with passages of play that looked as good as I have seen for a long while.  Some good saves, some near misses and an offside flag prevented us from building a healthy lead in the first half.


Ks had a few chances of their own and made one count when Sow made enough room to fire a diagonal shot into the bottom right corner.


Tanners finally made one count when pressure from a corner finally allowed a shot on goal to be dropped into the path of Jerry, who snapped up his chance.


Half time, with a sit down and a cup of tea.  Smashing.


Second half and Ks suddenly thought they were Barcelona, insisting on passing it out from the back. Either Leatherhead were too good at pressing or Ks lack the skill to carry this out as they became camped in their half, as errors and interceptions meant they constantly lost possession.  Conversely, they were there behind the ball to make our chances limited.


Ks then got a grip of the game and looked like they were going to steal all three points for 10 minutes as the game drew to a close.  DSane made a tricky run on goal, sending our defenders all over the place only to place a tame shot directly at Zak.  Relief for Leatherhead supporters.  Further relief as we discovered Ks had lost their proof of purchase and couldn't send him back.


Leatherhead were now playing on the break and in the last couple of minutes missed a close range header and had a powerful shot saved to prevent us from having the glory of a derby win.


We have a big game Saturday but in the spirit of Leatherhead's financial governance I am not going to tell you what it is...

Ks are coming

Our old lodgers turn up tonight and, judging by their preview, will need all 200 stewards to enable their fans to find their way around our disorganised ground.

Leatherhead, weakened by the loss of D'Sane, struggle on in 9th place... seven points ahead (albeit having played two games more).

Kick off at 7.45.  Allow one hour for security checks... take off your shows and belts at the turnstile and only 100ml of fluids, please.  See you there!

Tanners 3 - 1 Bishop's Stortford

Not the best preparation for our visitors as they parted company with their player-manager, Jamie Cureton.  The sudden departure and unusual betting patterns in the Brockham area, meant that no bookie in the land would take your money on this game.  A pity, as Leatherhead run out (eventually) comfortable winners.

The game was not a classic but the opening was quite the strike.  Robinson makes it two games in a row, this one being a powerful shot into the top corner.

The second half did not look promising and as this is not the Leatherhead of last year, 1-0 is no guarantee of anything from the game.  Luckily Rowe opened his account and made it more comfortable.

Bishop's Stortford did pull one back.  We seemed upset with the ref for some reason, but it looked pretty straight forward to me.  A ricochet wrong footed everyone in green and they slotted it home.  Back to being uncomfortable...

The visiting 'keeper then became the pantomime villain.  He got down low to a shot and clearly pushed it away for a corner.  The ref missed this but the assistant seemed to have seen something and flagged the attention of the ref.  Not owning up to touching it is one thing, but to run over the officials and blatantly lie is another.  

We got the last laugh as when Stefan Brown fired a similar ball at goal it went straight through his lying, cheating hands.  3-1.

Big game Tuesday!

Bishop’s Stortford are coming

Leatherhead mastered alchemy last week; turning a scrap heap of a first half into second half gold.

We've brought in a few new players to add to our wizardry; but a few have done a disappearing act.

Kick off at 3pm. See you there!

Cheshust 1 - 3 Tanners

A long journey to arrive to a new ground that hasn't quite found its place in life to see a game that took a long time to find its way.

The first half was, frankly, bloody hard work.  The only action came when Travis seemed to be fouled in the box.  The ref, who would struggle to control a topside, appeared to chicken out of a big decision and awarded a freekick just outside the box.  Leatherhead didn't mince their words when complaining, but to no avail.  Freekick only and it came to nothing.

Into the halftime break and spare a thought for the solitary steward.  Without four or five colleagues he had to deal with the inevitable pitched battles in the stands, put out car fires in the car park and break up a knife fight in the bar.

Into the second half and it looked to be much more of the same 0-0 football we had seen in the first half, until it suddenly sprung into life.  It all started when we had Zach... in attack... taking all the shots on the goal... and he got his opener from a tight angle.  A powerful shot seemed to me to hit the side netting and fir a while I wondered what some of the other fans were so excited about.  It took a couple of seconds for me to see it had beaten the 'keeper near post.

Moments later the 'keeper was probably partially at fault when a Hester-Cook shot squirmed under his body to make it two nil.  Robinson's free run on goal and cool finish put the game beyond doubt and silence the megaphone that surely would have been confiscated - along with photographic evidence - at the Grove.

Cheshunt did get one back; a slight mix up allowed them to tap it in from close range but it was not enough and they now slip into the "it depends" relegation place.  Leatherhead, meanwhile, move to within five points of the play-off places and prepare to face Bishop's Stortford on Saturday...

Travelling Tanners

NEW GROUND KLAXON!

Tomorrow we travel to Cheshunt FC, a side that came up via the play-offs; beating Bracknell 3-0 in the final.  Our new friends are nestled in the lower half of the table, but have ambitions for bigger things with an application for a new 2,000 stadium (plus housing) just being submitted.

Leatherhead have stuttered a little in January.  Let's see what happens in February...

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Tanners 3 - 0 Sutton

Sutton United sent fringe players and a group of young boys to do a man's work at Fetcham Grove in the Surrey Senior Cup. It wasn't enough and we comfortably ran out 3-0 winners.

 

You have to admire the commitment of our club hero and talisman Jerry who is now commuting all the way from Manchester in order to carry on playing for us. Chloe expected nothing less but is preparing herself for the worst. Meanwhile, our new striker who was commuting from McDonalds three times a day appears to have left.

 

The club must have been expecting trouble from the crowd of 188 as four security personnel guarded the entry to the ground. Car boots were opened and under vehicle inspection mirrors deployed in scenes reminiscent of Belfast in the 1980s. The DEFCON must have been stepped down in the 2nd half as they stood around chatting in the bar. Surely the money spent on employing them would be better spent on players. If you exclude Jamie O'Hara, there hasn't been any trouble at Fetcham Grove for 30 years.

 

It was a horrible night for Sutton Academy 'Keeper Mbeta as he watched a gentle free kick from Mischa drift slowly into the net. He could have caught it, punched it, or tipped it over the bar, but decided instead to just admire it into the net. Charlie Hester-Cook, who has rapidly become our MVP, added two more in the second half to secure a comfortable win.

 

We will be expecting another animated performance when we host South Park in the quarter final in our last realistic hope of glory in a strange uneven season. Hopefully Woking will do us a favour and field a strong enough side to knock out our smug neighbours in one of the other quarter finals.

Tanners 0 - 0 Merstham

I had the song of "...and we've still got Nikki on the bench" should we have raced to a comfortable lead against Merstham, but they are a very different side since adding 2-3 players to their squad recently.

We opened well, but faded towards the end of the first half.  This was our best chance of scoring as a looping header was cleared off the line, we had a goal disallowed for offside (must have been close) and struck the post.

Second half, we finished strongly but didn't really create the chances as we had in the opening 45 minutes.

Tonight, we welcome Sutton to the Grove for the second round of the Surrey Senior Cup.  Expect a big crowd; I would say easily five... no six hundred stewards could be at the Grove tonight.  Kick off at 7.45.  Good luck fellas.

Merstham are coming

The Mick Sullivan Derby tomorrow, with the visit of Merstham.

Barry Hayles left the pitch after the away fixture in a rather marked manner; seemingly furious with the ref for allowing them to be completely out-played.  They will no doubt be out for revenge tomorrow...

On the one hand they may be up against it.  They sit just above the relegation places with the worst goal difference in the league.  On the other hand, they just beat Horsham and we seem to have a growing injury list.

Lick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Worthing 2 - 0 Tanners

Even by Leatherhead's past standards of League Cup squads, this was a weak line up to face high flying Worthing.  Not brought about through a complete failure to take the competition seriously (as we have seen under past regimes) but through an accumulation of injuries, being cup tied and bad luck.

That said when Nikki Bull appeared on the team sheet, playing upfront, eyebrows were raised.  For those travelling there was further concern when the bench of subs, turned out to be just Macca; presumably wearing a host of disguises to get away with the ruse.

Where past exploits from senior players, who recently being played while others were given the night off, resulted in capitulation the team were galvanised by the challenge at hand and held their own in the first half.

Things did start falling to pieces when Macca came on to replace the injured Pringles (a nasty injury it seems) and Will Salmon hobbled off without anyone to replace him.

We did have a glorious chance to score though, with Nikki through on goal but fell over at the vital moment.  A wonderful throw back to the Joe Sheerin years.

Pressure told in the end and Worthing scored in the second half and then doubled their lead through a penalty.

Hopefully the cup-tied and the unavailable will return on Saturday when we play the Mick Sullivan Derby... Merstham are coming!

Travelling Tanners

I misread this fixture as being a league fixture, but it is the league cup... a fixture that Worthing once walked off after the lino's contact lens got stuck behind his eye and we went through on appeal.  I suspect our night won't be quite as easy to progress as that night.

One thing is for certain, it is official a "double-socker".

Kick off at 7.45.  Good luck fellas.

Hornchurch 1 - 1 Tanners

Another There Or There-abouts derby and a well earned, hard fought point.  When we lost Ibz et al, we needed players to step up and I was kind of looking at Travis to do this.  He has been in the right places and hit the post a few times, so it was good he found the net.

Hornchurch are a tough nut to crack though and they eventually got their equaliser to share the points and leave us seven points from the play-offs.

As way trips go, they don't come much tougher than the mid-week trip to Worthing tomorrow...

Tanners 1 - 2 Bognor Regis

Now.  How do I write this up?

Leatherhead went into this game after two game against lower opposition where we struggled without our target men of Ibz and Wood.  In fact, we only looked likely to score against Wingate & Finchley when we got the ball to the feet of Embery.  So what we needed was either a new approach or getting a new presence up front... and we got the latter... in abundance.

The new striker, Melford Simpson, is going to divide opinion.  I certainly haven't seen a Leatherhead player the size of Melford before and I am guessing, neither has the person who ordered the players' kits this season.  For me the warning signs are that he has come from Haywards Heath - mid-table from the division below - and does not appear in the top 20 goal scorers.

As debuts go, it was tough.  Bognor Regis are not only a good side they have a defender who is even taller and more mobile so was able to stick to the task of keeping Melford under control.  As with any striker that size, the smallest of leans or use of the arm is quickly seen by the ref so he didn't get much joy there either.  He did get one powerful shot on target and followed it up with a thunderous run on goal but the (terrified) 'keeper was able to smother the ball.

Meanwhile at the other end, the visitors scored through a wonderful piece of free flowing, ball-to-feet football that would have been a joy to watch if I felt we had a way of getting back into the game.

Luckily we have a player in fine form.  Hester-Cook continues to dominate midfield both defensively and then turning possession into attack.  It was through his interception, darting run and well placed shot we got the equaliser.  In the second half, it was only with him on the pitch did we look likely to get the winner.

Our new striker was withdrawn on about 60 minutes and inevitably the tempo increased.  Whether that meant we were actually more likely to score, we will never know but it was certainly more entertaining to watch.

Football, however, is a fickle mistress and despite the pressure we had exerted it amounted to nothing as in the final minute a well placed cross was met by a firm header that gave Zak no chance.  All three points headed south and we lose ground on those coveted play-off places.

A chance to close the gap with Potters Bar on Tuesday before a trip to Hornchurch on Saturday...

Bognor Regis are coming!

A wind-swept Grove welcomes our visitors today, when we take on Bognor Regis.

After one of the best comebacks we've seen over the past twenty years, let's hope we continue with another three points in this vital playoff chasing game.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Wingate & Finchley 1 - 2 Tanners

Nikki Bull must have been pleased with the second half response to what looked like another defeat to a team sitting in last place.

Wingate & Finchley opened the scoring in the first half and things started to look familiar.  Into the second half and the new player from Maidstone, Embery, stepped up with two goals to grab all three points.

This keeps Spencer's team in last place and while it only moves up one place it puts us just two points off of those play-off places.  Bognor Regis come to the Grove on Saturday in a "there-or-there-abouts" six pointer...

Travelling Tanners

Leatherhead make their second trip to a bottom placed club in a week as we face Wingate & Finchley tonight.

The lack of goal threat at Corinthian-Casuals was a huge disappointment and if the new signings aren't hitting the ground running, it will need experienced players to step up and help out.

Kick off at 7.45.  Directions can be found here.  Good luck fellas.

Corinthian-Casuals 3 - 0 Tanners

It was the Eleventh Day of Christmas and no True Love to hand over any gifts to the travelling fans - Woods and Ibz now sitting on the benches of their host clubs - and judging by what we saw, Nikki Bull will have to take a Katie Price approach to the next objects of our desire...


It started badly even before the first ball was kicked.  The sun was low and bright and with our hosts winning the toss they opted to put Zak facing the blinding light.  The tactic paid off almost immediately, as a low shot seemed to go under him on just two minutes.


Corinthian-Casuals controlled much of the first half but Leatherhead were not without their chances.  New loan signing Embery was through on goal but it was well saved and Travis launched a close range effort out of the ground.


The ref started making a name for himself in the first half.  There were three nasty looking challenges in the opening 45 minutes but he only booked the middle one.  Most notably he let off the first, their number 4 caught out on the wing so made a desperate challenge to bring down his man... this would be significant in the second half.


On to the second half, warmed by a lively atmosphere in their bar and the soft glow of a setting sun we hoped for better… and we started to get it.  Another new signing Oyenuga was looking fast and troubling their defence.


It was when he was completely clear on goal that the controversy happened.  The number 4 knew he was beaten so cynically dragged him down.  Quite clearly the last man as despite being dragged down he regained his feet to go on and shoot, albeit from a tighter angle had he not been impeded. 

The ref blew up for the foul but could not make the decision alone and decided  to consult with his yes-man, who managed to continue the conversation long enough that the responsibility for failing to send a player off could be adequately shared across two people. 


The ref then issued only a yellow and had a stern word with the number 4, telling him if he fouled again then he would have to show another yellow... unless that foul happens within the next few minutes in which case I will warn you again for that is what happened.  Again number four was out of his depth on the wing so brought down his more fleet of foot opponent... just a talking to again.


The second half sub of Oyenuga was then subbed off and Corinthians found their feet and started to pile the pressure back on.  Another powerful shot beating Zak.  Zak then tried to get the ball from a Corinthian player to get the game underway and a small scuffle broke out with the holder of the ball now on the floor now holding his face.  The ref needed to call both yes-men over to share the responsibility of not taking action and showed Zak a yellow.


Leatherhead by now were a complete ruddy shambles.  Feeling hard done by and lacking the confidence that comes with having such potent threats up front there was very little hope of a come back.  Less so when the third goal was scored.  Another powerful low shot, across the face of the goal and into the bottom corner.


It is ironic though that after the worst Leatherhead performance I have seen in 20 years, we travel to Wingate & Finchley midweek to face Spencer Knight.  A manager with such skill he has guided his team into last place.  Hopefully, getting beaten by teams at the foot of the table isn't catching...

Travelling Tanners

Leatherhead head up the A3 to face our old friends, Corinthian-Casuals.  While they sit in last place, if ever there was a bogey team it would be our hosts today... this started at approximately the same time i thought it would be funny to wear a Palmeiras shirt to a game...

Meanwhile we have to start life without Ibz.  I hope someone steps up with the goals he provided so readily.

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Tanners 2 -1 Carshalton Athletic

Leatherhead put in a composed performance to take all three points from a side that came to flop about.

This was a big game and it was disappointing to see so many people having to queue to get in with only one turnstile open.  Perhaps if we had used a couple of the security staff to take money, we would still have had about 15 of them to do very little.

On the pitch and we were treated to the finest display of touch'n'flop ever seen.  With the remotest hint of contact, down Carshalton would fall and appeal.  Sadly this fell right into the comfort zone of the referee and he gave them all willingly. 

Big decisions, like blocking a goal bound shot in the box with an outstretched arm weren't to be entertained and waved away.  The "lino" waved his flag and I thought, perhaps, we would see him assist in some way but all he had to offer was Nikki said something nasty and a warning was issued to the bench.

While for the majority of the game we looked in control, Carshalton's goal came from slapstick defending.  Leatherhead simply could not clear the ball; it looked like we survived the scare as the lengthy goal mouth scrambled resulted in a Leatherhead player finally getting a decent boot behind the ball but it fell to a Carshalton player, who lofted it into the goal.

Their 'keeper then embarked on a strange piece of folk dancing but was left to courtesy turn and pick it out of the back of the net when Travis' freekick clipped the wall; leaving him stranded as it waltzed in.  That was scored on the first free kick awarded to Leatherhead... on 29 minutes... and had the wall been pulled back properly I doubt the deflection would have happened.  Unlucky ref.

Into the second half where the ref was desperate for a Carshalton winner and awarded yet another soft free kick on the edge of our box.  Unfortunately the ref would not have known that the visitors would have made such a hash of it, as they would lose possession and allow Ibz to be set free down the middle.  No mistake and 2-1.

We would have a similar effort ruled out for offside and Ibz struck the post, with the ball spinning on the line only to be cleared before the ref upped his game even further.

Carshalton were desperate for the equaliser so the 'keeper rushed out to try and pump a loose ball into our half but he made a mess of it and was tackled by a Leatherhead player.  The ball squirmed out to the slight advantage to our player and used his body to shield the ball from the increasingly desperate 'keeper who promptly fell over and was awarded a free kick. 

A further free kick was given for nothing and was allowed to be advanced about 15 yards forward so to give them a chance but it was headed clear and the whistle finally came.

A professional display fully justified the win but it sounds as if Ibz is leaving us (again) which must be a concern for the remainder of the campaign... 

Carshalton are coming

At last, a festive fixture to get excited about.  Only 188 people felt the same way about Cray Wanderers, but today a more local, higher profile team arrives to The Grove... a team occupying a play-off spot no less.

Leatherhead have seen off the floods and will hopefully do the same to our visitors and close the gap even further...

Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!