Tanners 3 - 2 The World's Greatest

Anyone with the slightest piece of self-awareness would have sensed the viral video of them singing was creating a monkey for their own back, but that isn't Glenn Tamplin.  What is so great about the video is that you can see not everyone buys into this vision (the 'keeper for one which is a shame he bore the brunt of the teasing).  Therefore, the next game could prove too much for them... and that is how it turned out...

It didn't start that way though.  Billericay have assembled some names and it appeared we were in awe of them for the first five minute but a personal battle emanating from the left back position allowed us to grow in confidence.  The Lip's player of the season, Danny Murphy, started dishing out uncompromising and so confidence started spreading throughout the team.

Soon Kadell was in on the act, making their highly paid players look stupid as he danced around them.  On 8 minutes he worked some space and fired a shot that dipped over the 'keeper and found the top left corner.  The mountain was beginning to crumble.

Four minutes later, Billericay conceded a penalty through sheer arrogance.  Kadell was on the ball in the box and their No6 just ran straight through him, probably believing the ref would never give a decision against THEM.  He was wrong but they were saved when Luke Moore fired his spot kick against the post.

Billericay levelled through the only area they were better than us, upfront in the air.  A long corner found a player on the far post who headed back across goal and it was bundled in.  1-1 at half time.

Second half and Billericay needed a reaction, but it came too late.  Take Konchesky for one.  Ex-Premier league, playing a few levels beneath him, clearly happy to take the money.  Meanwhile we were simply better man for man and went on to build a healthy lead.  Jerome was unlucky when he struck the post from a break away move but Moone, who danced through three hapless tackles, made no mistake.  Firing into the bottom right.  Then Nana broke away and found the inside of the post.  3-1.

Billericay did make it interesting when they bundled in a second and the ref was desperate for an equaliser and allowed 9 minutes of extra time (after signally 6) but the whistle came to much celebration.

We were revelling in it, I admit with "You're not singing any more!" which was the least the guests deserved but then it turned sour.  A supporter offered his hand to O'Hara, someone who was on Celebrity Big Brother so must love the attention, and withdrew it as it was accepted.  It was childish, but there was a perfectly good reason for this.  It was a 14 year old boy who was guilty of only watching too much SoccerAM.  The scenes that followed can now be seen on national media.

Despite our heroics and table position, we sit only 1 (and a half) points outside the relegation zone so we need to do it all again.  Close your eyes Leatherhead, you are the mountain.

Billericay are coming

A big day in Leatherhead's history tomorrow.  Off of the pitch we discuss the future of the club and learn more about the proposed move.

On the pitch we have quite the tall order.  We have to take on the mountains, tall trees and fast winds of Billericay.  They are looking to pounce on a play-off spot having won the League Cup.  Three points is likely to keep us out of the relegation zone.

Chat off at 12.30.  Kick off at 3pm.  See you there!

Fans' forum

A Fans' Forum has been organised where Richard Brady will be available before the Billericay game in the Running Horse from 12.30 to openly discuss matters with himself and the other Directors.

This is open to all fans not just members.  I hope as many of you as possible take up the opportunity to attend so you can arrive at the May meeting adequately informed to vote.

Leiston 1 - 0 Tanners

On returning from this trip my wife asked me the inevitable question; was it worth going?  Sadly, I don't think it was...

OK, it was a new ground and the locals were welcoming but it was not a ground I would remember other than the extended no-mans land at each end of the pitch and the annoying net behind one goal.  The tea queue was a disaster and, we lost.

The first 15 minutes we gave a good account of ourselves and it was difficult to see who was looking to finish in the play-off places.  Nana bought a foul early on; nipping in front a the defender and waiting to be struck from behind.  He then later did the same trip in the box, but the contact was minimal and the ref played on BUT Nana's card was marked and he failed to get a foul for the remainder of the game.

From then on it became a stalemate.  Each club probing but seemingly happy with a point until a breakaway move saw their striker through on goal and he beat Wells into the bottom left corner.

This now leaves us with three games and the visit of Billericay on Saturday...

Travelling Tanners

While Leatherhead's board announce plans to sell their soul off the pitch, the team will endeavour to make a 6 hour round trip and get three points at high flying Leiston.

We sit just outside the relegation spots and three points would go a long way to making us safe.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there (?).

Dulwich 1 - 1 Tanners

We would have taken a point before the game and certainly, judging by the comparison in emotions between supporters at the final whistle, we are happy with it now.

Going to Dulwich is not easy.  Logistically it is challenging; off the pitch, they come in number; and on it they are a handful.  We were going to have to be on the top of our game to get anything out of it... and we were.

The back four worked hard to keep their attacks to a minimum and our forwards looked threatening when we were allowed to break.

The real downside to the game was our corners.  Three came and went in utter disarray.  We insist on these short routines that need more work in practice.  I can understand why they opted for this, the Dulwich defenders were massive, but a bit of variety wouldn't go a miss.  I would have more respect had they passed it back to Wells from the corner.  It certainly would have spared Murphy a near yellow card for being forced into a rash tackle as they broke from such a set piece.

First half was end to end and I think we gave a pretty good account of ourselves.  The second half was much the same, except our hosts began turning the screw.

So it was a relief that eased the pressure by scoring a goal.  Dulwich decided to be clever at the back (where have we seen that before?) and promptly gave it away to Nana.  One on one with the 'keeper, he coolly slotted it into the far corner.  Three points would go a long way to keeping us up.

Dulwich pressed and got their equaliser through one of the strikes that can either end up in the fresh produce aisle in Sainsbury's or break the net.  Wells did everything according to the textbook on goalkeeping, a good punch sending it high and wide, but the volley came back with interest - rattling the bar as it shot in.

The ref somehow managed to find four minutes of extra time for us to sweat through but we held firm.  The final whistle blew to cheers from the handful of supporters who made the trip at our end... deathly silence at theirs.

On to Leiston Saturday then....

Travelling Tanners

Wall blah blah... cheats blah blah... wall blah blah.  That's the Dulwich pre-match update written for them.

Leatherhead travel to Dulwich at a rather crucial time.  With our goal difference as it is we have effective a half point advantage over Ks and Burgess Hill.  To expect to stay in the league on goal difference is precarious to say the least so we need something special.

Dulwich sit just one point outside the play-offs and so would be looking at a win tonight to propel them into the knock-out stage and inevitable disappointment.

Directions can be found here.  Kick off at 7.45.  See you there.

Tenants 1 - 2 Landlords

Probably one of the worst games of the season but with one of the best results.

This was the first game in charge for the unlikeable, uncouth, former pub side manager of Billericay, Craig Edwards. He had called his new side to the ground an hour early to allow extra time to shout, swear, and threaten them.

K's are having a nightmare of late. They have lost their last 7 games and accumulated just 2 points from the last 11 games. With Craig's expletives doubtless ringing in their ears, K's started the game like startled chickens who had just spotted a fox entering the coop.......running around all over the place like their live's depended on it. 

The Tanners looked confused, reluctant to join in, hoping we could play total football instead. But we were left with no choice other than to get stuck in and play like a Sam Allardyce side rather than a Jimmy Bullard one. We got to half time goalless without too much alarm except for the length of the tea bar queue staffed by a solitary lady.

It looked likely that this game would be won with one scrappy goal. In fact it was won by 2 scrappy goals to 1 scrappy goal with our scrappy goals from the immense Jerry Jerry and the impact sub Nana. Jubilant scenes followed the final whistle after a very nervous last 5 minutes.

There isn't much time to enjoy our 3 point cushion which could very quickly evaporate as we travel to Dulwich on Tuesday. They normally run us ragged at their place in front of a 1,000 or more urban bohemians looking on smugly.

Travel Tip: Go to McDonalds before the game if you are hungry as the burgers are £8.50.

Travelling Tanners

With rumours of a side near the bottom due to drop three points, this game is massive.

Ks away is already a game to look forward too (stewards aside) but now it shifts up a gear.

Kick off at 3pm. Good luck fellas.

Tanners 1 - 0 Wingate & Finchley

A vital win for Leatherhead, sees outside the relegation zone and puts our fate into our buttery fingered hands as we enter the last six games of the season.

A bright start for Leatherhead saw Carr brought down in the box, but it was far too early into the game for the ref to give it without breaking their unwritten sacred code.

It would be 30 minutes later until the breakthrough came.  Theobalds given the time and space to pick his spot, moments after we survived a penalty scare of our own.  A guilty conscience of the ref perhaps…

Leatherhead went on to frustrate Wingate & Finchley and keep the score to just 1-0.  Saturday’s game, away at Ks, just got bigger.

Wingate & Finchley are coming

Sixth place Wingate & Finchley come to the Grove on Saturday as we enter the final stages of the season.  Other results aside, they are a win away from sneaking into a play-off place; we are a win away from sneaking out of the relegation places.

Last weekend we were outstanding for the first 45 minutes, then in the second half Enfield Town worked out what we were doing and we ran out of ideas.

Kick off at 3pm.  Good luck fellas.

Enfield 2 - 1 Tanners

A very familiar story for Leatherhead; a cracking first half and then capitulation in the second to allow the three points to slip away.

I like going to Enfield.  Last time their crowd was buoyed a couple of coach loads of Belgian fans so I wondered what a standard game would be like but there is a very pleasant and welcoming buzz to the place.  The pitch looked greener but still the occasional puff of dust to show the pitch was hard and dry again.

For the 20 or so behind the goal in the first half it was looking like the trip was worth it.  Enfield could not cope with Jerome and Kadell and chuck in the threat of Carr up front we had them on the back foot.  We got the breakthrough after Jerome worked some space on the edge of the box and had the audacity to try and lob the ‘keeper.  It was inch perfect with their shot stopper only tickling as it sailed over him.  1-0.

We pressed on but the warning signs were there of what was to come.  Namely with us mucking about with it at the back, trying to be clever and to waste time but Wells got mixed up and was forced into a rash tackle outside his area.  A red card was expected but he got away with it and stayed on the pitch to pull off a fantastic save from the resulting set piece.

So, into the second half and the table showed us outside the relegation zone.  All we had to do was play the same and we’d be OK, but that is not how it turned out.  I am no expert but any threat we had down the wings suddenly dried up and we had no plan b.  Perhaps Jimmy didn’t fancy any of the options on the bench as no change came until the damage was done, opting to clap encouragement.

The first Enfield goal was classic Leatherhead.  A free kick on the edge of the box was directed to the back post where a player was completely unmarked and headed home.

The second goal, well we out Leatherheaded ourselves again but I have some sympathy.  It looked like Kadell was fouled on the edge of the box but the ref played on; so from a dangerous position we find ourselves chasing the ball and they score from the breakaway move.

Subs did happen with about 5 minutes to go in drips and drabs – it was as if we were the team looking to waste time – but nothing came of it.

Back into the bottom four and we wait for a tough game this Saturday…

Travelling Tanners

While on a company conference we were treated to a motivational speech by the famous conductor and producer, Christian Gansch where told the story of how they played the concert of their lives in Berlin.  Three days later they were in Paris in good spirits when the conductor them while setting up with a simple message, “Berlin didn’t happen”.  The point being the past performance did not make it an automatic right that they would play well again and they had to prepare for the concert like any other.

At this point I should have been thinking about career paths or succession planning but my mind drifted to our plight following a good home win.  While confidence is important, Enfield Town will pose a completely different audience.  However we play, I hope they know their brass from their oboe.

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions can be found here.  See you there!

Tanners 2 - 0 Folkestone

A thoroughly professional performance gives us new hope.

Folkestone expected to win this one and were taken aback by our attacking positive football.  Jimmy's Plan B of more direct football and cutting out the mucking around at the back, has reaped rewards quickly with 7 points from 4 games.

We were too hot to handle for Folkestone for much of this game and they frequently resorted to breaking up our attacks with cynical fouls. The referee let them off initially but grew tired of the persistent fouling and handed out about 6 yellow cards by the end of the game.

The new addition of Jerome Frederick made the difference last Saturday when he came on at half time and he opened the scoring last night with a cracker. We could have been 2 or 3 up at half time so there were still plenty of nerves when we went in with a slender 1-0 advantage. Folkestone livened up briefly at the start of the 2nd half but we regained our composure and made certain of the 3 points with a Daniel Carr penalty.

We now have a tough games at Enfield then home to Wingate & Finchley but if the players stay positive and maintain the energy levels there is no reason why we can't pick up points. How about 4 points lads?

Folkestone are coming

This is massive. Folkestone arrive at The Grove tonight just 24 hours after Merstham'a impressive win. Hopefully the need for a win has been clearly communicated to avoid the kind of first half performance we witnessed Saturday.

Kick of at 7.45. Good luck fellas.

Where's my paddle?

If you are sat at home wondering why the mood has changed and talk of relegation is in the air, it is because the reality of the season to come has finally struck home.  Those winnable games where we tried to be clever overplaying with no look passes into the path of an open striker have all but dried up and we have a tough run in.  A Leatherhead supporter (Chris) shared with me his predictions on how it will go, so far he is spot on…

The points for the team 4th from bottom in previous seasons has been:

2016 - 50 points - 24 teams (Lthd 11th 62 points)
2015 - 48 points - 24 teams (Lthd 10th 67 points)
2014 - 49 points - 24 teams (Lthd in Southern)
2013 - 41 points - 22 teams (Lthd in Southern)
2012 - 41 points - 22 teams (Lthd 18th 41 points - relegated)

So we may need 50 points, and have 31 at the moment (he did this before Lowerstoft game).  Remaining games and his predictions:

Lowerstoft away - Lose 0 points (Lost 1-0) - CORRECT

AFC Sudbury home - Hopeful win - 3 points (Won 2-0) - CORRECT

Tonbridge home - Draw at best 1 point - CORRECT

Bognor away - Lose 0 points - CORRECT 

Dulwich away - Lose 0 points

Folkestone home - Draw at best 1 point

Hendon home - Hopeful win 3 points - CORRECT

Enfield away - Lose 0 points

Wingate home - Lose 0 points

Kingstonian away - cheeky draw 1 point

Leiston away - Lose 0 points

Billericay home - Draw at best 1 point

Met Police away - Draw at best 1 point (we will be 2 or 3 up and draw at best)

Harlow home - Lose 0 points

Total points 11 .  End of season 42 points.  3rd from bottom and relegated.  Prove us wrong Levred, prove us wrong… 

Tanners 3 - 2 Hendon

We were treated yesterday to the very worst and the very best of Leatherhead in a game that looked to seal our fate but then still keep our hopes alive.

Leatherhead were woeful in the first half.  For the first 5 minutes or so I thought this was going to be easy work as Hendon appeared to just sit off us and let us come forward, but soon they decided we looked a bit shaky and too the game to us.

For weeks Leatherhead have been overplaying and trying to pass it into the net, and at last it worked.  It was just a pity it was our own net as a pressured defender passes to where he thought Wells would be and not where he actually was.  Not for the first time in recent weeks, passing without looking where the danger is has cost us goals.

From “no look passes” we then started “no look defending” as a breakaway move down Hendon’s right wing saw us crowd around the ball like it was a Under 7’s match (apologies to any six year old out there).  This left their no8 completely open to receive the ball in front of goal and beat Wells.

There were some high points in the first half; Carr looked unplayable and his shot went just wide.  However, changes were needed especially in midfield.  Ty Smith is a player I like a lot, but with so many attack minded midfielders the role of enforcing some form of discipline fell to him and for whatever reason it wasn’t his day.  So Jerome Federico (?) came on to play down the left and Kadell moved into the centre which worked a treat.

As I mentioned, we had our moments but given how bad we were it was telling that the Hendon defence looked constantly on edge.  With a revitalised Leatherhead they did not look comfortable at all and the reinforced numbers behind the goal could sense we could get something from this game.  The first goal coming from such a spell of pressure.  Their ‘keeper, being forced into a save, concedes a corner and from the resulting set play Theobalds smashes a shot through a crowded box.

Fifteen minutes later Carr gets halfway to his brace.  A looping shot from Kadell (I think) beats the diving ‘keeper, strikes the bar and falls kindly to Carr who taps in.  We rush to get the ball back in play as a draw would simply not be enough to keep us up.

Despite all the attacks we did need some help from the ref.  He then awarded a penalty that I can only describe as soft.  The Hendon back four did have a habit of letting our player know they were there which went largely unpunished, so perhaps they were overconfident in what they could get away with.  Nana was in the box and it was true he was being tightly marked and to a certain extent impeded but when he hit the floor I have seen them turned away.

Over to Carr for the penalty who decided to tease the ‘keeper by hitting it tamely at him knowing he would spill it and get to tap in the rebound.  The very definition of confidence there.

The relegation fight, and it is a fight we should have taking seriously weeks ago, goes on with another crucial game and the visit of Folkestone. 

Hendon are coming

Check your out tray for misplaced envelopes. Hendon are coming in this crucial game. Three points up for grabs... I hope...

Kick off at 3pm. See you there!

Bognor Regis 1 - 0 Tanners

There are better sides than Leatherhead who will make the trip south and come off worse that a 1-0 defeat but flattery does not get you points on the board.

While Leatherhead looked far more composed at the back than a few weeks ago the pressure told and Bognor got their goal midway in the first half.  It was now a case if we could respond and get a goal back.

Wells kept us in it with a fantastic save but we failed to snatch a goal that would have kept us within three points of safety (given our goal difference). 

No midweek game but a very important game to focus on this Saturday…

 

Travelling Tanners

Leatherhead have a tough test on their hands today.  Bognor Regis Town sit on top of the league, albeit with a game not in hand, and with a healthy 27 goal difference.  While we have kept two clean sheets in a row that will be put to the test today.

Meanwhile Sudbury host Folkestone in what could be a crucial tie for our survival hopes…

Kick off at 3pm.  Directions to be found here.  Good luck fellas.